The Last Poster Wins! [v8]

[Sonic20]

No, it's just a consumable. (Damnit.)

Okay, what else... *rummages through again*

[The Nonexistent Tazz]

*After a check of all facts and a dead confirmation that this narrative has made no mistakes by my assistant, and certainly not any entity who speaks between (these things), we continue with a rather miserable development for S2: His Legendary is a consumable. A 1-time use item. That thing is best crafted with, and not used in any upcoming fights, no matter how tempting it might be...Which it probably shouldn't be at all. You did just beat one heck of a boss, after all, and it doesn't seem likely that such an entity could just randomly respawn right here, right now.*

*All of a sudden MK runs straight out of a door labeled 'death,' being berated by an angry reaper while he runs.*

MK:...What? Did 'ya think you could upstage the kingpin that easy? Time to REALLY put you into-

*Whatever he was going to put you into shall forever be unknown. MK had been slain, at that instant, by someone who gave utterly no s**t to his invulnerabilities. You saw Red Lightning and a mostly black attire, including some kind of hat, but you're out of luck if you were going to try to get details. The Red Lightning itself is an utter mystery to you, and no knowledge of that kind of attack exists in your mind-that ba****d was invulnerable true-and-true to everything but PURE PULCHRITUDE (unless those meters were raised). Whatever it was...Well. You should be looking into that.*

*In any case, MK started spilling loot again. Death looks back into his door, somewhat confused by something he's seen, and heads back in regardless. He's not here to claim more lives from you, he doens't have a quota or s**t.*

*The new, beheaded MK corpse is now spewing out gold coins like nobody's business. That's two times the L00T for you, sure, but...There don't seem to be any signs of the latter L00T GEY$ER slowing down...He might just flood the room and drown you in L00T if you're not careful. Plus, it's only gold coins, from what you're seeing, and not actually any good Ultra-Rares or stuff like that. Drowning in L00T...That...Would be...Embarrassing, if nothing else. Best get those Legendaries and Ultra-Rares while you can!*

*Clover has already left you, PS. He took a Legendary Clovoler, "8-leafs, 0-bull," and has already blown up the safe hatch with it. You have an escape route. Sort of.*

[Sonic20]

Wait, what...

*pulls out katanas*

CRAFTING I CHOOSE YOU GOOOOO!

*combines multi-bottle rocket and katanas*

*strife specibus becomes katanarocketkind if that's even a thing*

Unholy Mystical Burning Divine Rocket Katanas of Furious Darkness acquired!

That's something to say.

[The Nonexistent Tazz]

(Katana's are very expensive weapons IRL, and having exploding Katanas...I wouldn't find that a very convenitonal idea. Rocket-propelled BFS'es that DON'T explode, a-la King Dedede's hammer, though? That is an idea made of f***ing win.)

RT:...Dude. Too many words in that weapon name. I mean, I've seen those kind of names slapped on fake weapons so they could sell 'em to gullible travelers for fortunes, because they have so many j. You'd better take the time to explain that weapon to me...Like, you know, AFTER WE ESCAPE THE CHAMBER OF INFINITELY-FLOODING GOLD COINS!! *RT has already taken all the L00T that wasn't already picked up to be distributed later, and is running into the safe room. You'd best move on too, if you don't want to get crushed in gold-you can't carry that much gold, so you best run!*.

[Sonic20]

(Yeah, I mean rocket powered, not exploding)

Okay, renaming to Sonic20's Rocket Katanas.

Dimentio's Ghost: Shall we go, sonic?

Sure, whatever.

*he opens a portal and we both go through, sending us to the surface*

Dimentio's Ghost: Hmm. I appear to be growing weaker. Probably need to find my corpse and get back into my body again.

[The Nonexistent Tazz]

*Meanwhile, in the Safe Room*

RT: *Takes the whole team with her, Passess through several other doors uneventfully, and tries, but fails, to go up a hatch. Clover must have blocked it off. Eh, 1-time deal, she supposes. RT Teleports back to RK's house, where the rest of the gang is, and throws down the L00T pile on top of the previously collected pile of L00T from raiding the weapons storehouse. You may now root through the L00T at your convenience and leisure.*

*Also, in an unrelated note, I've found all of MK's documents, and documents made by those close enough to him to confirm bloodlines and relations. As it turns out, RK is not related to MK by blood or anything like that through every source we have mentioned. The Narrator's Assistant begrudgingly pays up 50 dollars, though notes that RK's invulnerability in the battle is literally impossible without something like MK's abilities at her side, which still leaves RK's remaining normalcy in deep question. The MEGATON BRASS KNUCKLES await, which the TNT horde has put aside from the regular stuff.*

TNT: Soooo...What's with your Rocket Katanas that make them so special?

[Rin Kagamine]

R1: Whaz been happening?
R2(cat): Nya?
R1: When did you get here?
R2: Nya? *jumps onto R1, who holds R2*
R1: -_-'
R2: *licks R1's face*
R1: What's been happening, Tazzy? I'm to lazy to go back and read it all.

[The Nonexistent Tazz]

...Well, there's your implausible invulnerability to talk about. Also, that. *Points to MEGATON BRASS KNUCKLES.*

Why not equip it? It's not a hammer, but it's designated specifically for you. Nobody here can touch that.

I would bother telling you the whole thing, as that's a lot, but in short: WE MURDERED A GUY. HE CAME BACK. HE GOT MURDERED FOR REAL THAT TIME. WE HAVE L00T. DIMENTIO DID ALMOST NOTHING PRODUCTIVE IN THAT FIGHT. REJOICE.

[Rin Kagamine]

R1: Implausi what now?
R2: *givs the "MEGATON BRASS KNUCKLES" a weird look*

[The Nonexistent Tazz]

Dude. You survived a blow that literally none of us did, head on. You weren't a nonphysical entity, you didn't dodge, you just took it harmlessly. And then you took another nasty blow, without any repercussions! There is NOTHING about you to suggest such an ability as nigh invulnerability. We were probably miles from your house when we raided that base! Or at least that self did. *Pointing to RK1*. The other didn't.

By my knowledge of Tropology, I think that the best way to figure out what the f*** is going on, is to equip that thing, *Pointing to the MEGATON BRASS KNUCKLES* AND equipping it like it's going out of style.