The Last Poster Wins! [v8]

[Sir Sivelos]

Okay guys, let's go... *SIVELOS applies the WRATH OF THE SOVEREIGN buff! All stats are temporarily maxed out.*

[The Nonexistent Tazz]

Ominous Voice: Summoning Boss known as 'MACHOKARP.' equipping: Space-Time Bathing thingamabob, Sky-and-Space scale polish.

*MACHOKARP, EXISTENCE'S MOST MANLIEST ENTITY, appears in front of you, with the room expanding in height just to accomidate all of his crazy moves, looking his most bada** (and most shiny) yet. You recall his weakness is his crippling Diabetes and he's otherwise INCREDIBLY tough but NOT invulnerable to you, due to size, scales, and generally being really tough. Tazz has the capacity to make Candy weapons to exploit his weakness...You do not. Tazz is unable to do his duty in this regard, so...*

MACHOKARP: ...WHAT? WHY AM I HERE? I WAS JUST ABOUT TO GO BACK TO THE RIFT FOR A VACATION! DID YOU SUMMON ME HERE? DID YOU DO SOMETHING TO SUMMON ME? OH...IT'S JUST ONE OF THOSE BOSS THINGS I'M OBLIGATED TO DO, I GUESS. RANDOM DUNGEON BOSSES ARE A REAL PAIN FOR THE BOSSES TOO, YOU KNOW, BUT AT LEAST I HAVE THIS COOL STUFF ON FOR IT...AH WELL. I'D RATHER NOT DIE, SO...YEAH. NOTHING PERSONAL. JUST DIE QUICKLY AND LET'S GET THIS OVER WITH.

*BOSS BATTLE!*
*V.S. MACHOKARP!*

[Sir Sivelos]

MACHOKARP! Oh god, it's been forever... I can't hurt you. ...Oh wait, yes I can. Sorry about this! *takes out a large SNICKERS BAZOOKA and opens fire into MACHOKARP's mouth.*

[The Nonexistent Tazz]

*Machokarp snatches the projectile out of the air and flings it back at you in a very practiced motion.*

MACHOKARP: EXPLOITING MY WEAKNESS, EH? COWARD! BUT YOUR WEAPON IS USELESS AGAINST ME! I HAVEN'T BEEN LOUNGING AROUND, I'VE BEEN EXERCISING! TRAINING! LEVELING! ONE DOES NOT JUST BE THE MANLIEST ENTITY IN EXISTENCE WITHOUT COPIOUS AMOUNT OF TRYING!!

[Sir Sivelos]

Nightmare: ...Have I met you before?

Dark Mind: This is asinine. Candy, as a weakness? How ridiculous.

Shut up and help me okay

Dark Meta Knight: *grunts and begins spawning large copies of SHADOW GALAXIA's blade sticking out of the ground around MACHOKARP. They are large enough that they will trap him in place. If he touches them, he will receive large SHADOW DAMAGE!*

[The Nonexistent Tazz]

MACHOKARP: YOU GET TYPE-1 DIABETES AND THEN TELL ME HOW IT FEELS!

*MACHOKARP uses LV. 9999 SHINING POSE! MACHOKARP instantly gets into a manly pose, with his scales shining brilliantly! The Darkness damage is eradicated by the sheer light, which means MACHOKARP took no damage, and in addition, due to the Sky'n'Space scale polish, the attack does additional Wind and Star-based damage as well as Light! It seems to be the kind that Nightmare's core is vulnerable to, and in addition the damage seems to pierce his block to nail it...It's as if everything the bosses get is designed specifically to give you a hard time!*

[Sir Sivelos]

Nightmare: Urgh...

Dark Mind: *places one of his Supernova Bombs onto MACHOKARP's back, specifically in a place that is impossible to reach with his body! The bomb will go off in one minute.*

[Ganyu]

*bomb goes off*

The phantom stops grumbling and suddenly, seven magic runes appear in a heptagonal arrangement around Machokarp. The runes glow bright red then transition to an ash-grey hue. "Ignis. Bombardas. Maxim Runus Alchedaria." The words speak by themselves as though it was a sentient force of its own making. The bomb's explosion has been amplified to 500 times, with an instant unavoidable -20% debuff to all defenses applied to Machokarp.

*prepares a multilayered sleep spell in case the Machokarp still stands*

[Dragotech]

Pah! Please... I can still create anything I want!

*Creates Hammer of Caramel*

Darn... I don't have the VIM required to wield this...

[The Nonexistent Tazz]

*MACHOKARP still stands after the attack...Relatively intact. You did NOT do much damage despite all that power. He really DID improve from before, in quite a few ways. He also takes the Sleep spell without even blinking an eye-he's got VITAL SPIRIT, though, so at least you know that it wasn't due to a lack of power.*

MACHOKARP: WHAT? SURPRISED OR SOMETHING? THIS IS THE POWER OF MANLINESS YOU'RE DEALING WITH! *MACHOKARP uses LV. 9999 TESTOSTERONE BLAST! Making the most manly pose possible, MACHOKARP shines with PURE TESTOSTERONE, which he then fires in a conical shape at the whole group, though it's centered at Tazz. Hey, he's the guy you're supposed to be defending!*