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  1. #1

    A Friendship Treasured and Portrayed [Non-fiction; Poetry]

    Author's Note:
    Spoiler:
    I wrote this some couple of weeks ago and decided to post it on one of the other forums I go to, and now I've decided to share it with you lot as well. xD So what you'll see/read after this has been completely untouched from my original post on that other forum. ^_^


    The Original Author's Note:
    Spoiler:
    Okay, so, I'm not one who is actually into writing poetry - I'm more into creative writing/fanfiction/feature writing and the like - but somehow, last night I found myself writing one. You see, as a member of my school's Track and Field team, I was rather close friends with a number of student-athletes from the upper batches, including those of the Seniors. Our assistant coach contacted me last night, asking me to write a poem as a tribute or a goodbye to our team's Seniors. And how could I say no, right? I mean, I love writing - even though I'm terribly horrible and naive/a novice when it comes to all this poetry business.

    The poem's a bit freelance, in the sense that it rhymes but there's no, uhm, "rhyming sequence" - like, in the first stanza, the first two and last two lines rhyme, while in the next stanza, it's the first and third that rhyme.

    In all honesty, I'm pretty content with what I managed to come up with - except for the title; I had a really hard time in making that one up, surprisingly.
    I hope you can appreciate my writing :3 Comments/Criticism are very much welcome!!



    A Friendship Treasured and Portrayed
    I remember like yesterday,
    College days seemed far away;
    But now I see it coming,
    Speeds as fast as our running.

    We never thought that it would end -
    All those stomachaches that we gained
    Over jokes we couldn't comprehend -
    But now only memories have remained.

    Our time was like a flicker of light,
    Lost beneath all those cold nights
    And cold-shoulder fights,
    When an apology could've made it all right.

    And I know you fear that these pictures will fade,
    Just as fast as the memory of a failing grade,
    But surely I will always remember all those games we played,
    For our friendship is as strong as this poem has conveyed.



    Type: Creative Non-Fiction
    Form: Poetry
    Date and Time [GMT+8]: March 20, 8:40 ~ 9:40 P.M. (or thereabouts)
    Time Taken: Approx. One Hour
    URPG Stats|Author Profile|URPG Ranger|Shalour Gym Leader

    ..::learning through the downs; living for the ups::..

  2. #2
    This is a very beautiful poem, with the subject matter in hand. Though, I have a few notes I want to make. Your rhyme scheme changes over the course of the poem, from a A A B B count to a A B A B count, then to A B B A, and finally back to A A B B. I don't know if this is intentional or not, as it could be interpreted as the changing forms of friendship that you had with the track team, in which case expertly done. If not, just keep an eye on that for future poems.

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