ULTIMATE Battle Arena for Devolution Battle Royale 2!

[arnisd]

Aaaaw damn, well didn't expect to win from a wooper uwu and here I was hoping to face Noble once again!
I will say you're right neo, Chikorita is a lot more adorable :)

[AgloMe Oen]

Oh, well look at what we̘̝͗̍ have here. Vḭ̥̮͔̦͙̫ctim̱̝̩̱͚s!͚͙̯̰ And they’re fresh, tò̷̏̍͟o!

D͎͖I̫A̤͕͖̯̣̞͖B̤̦̰̩̤̺̙Ọ͍͍̳̻͍̼LI̙̜̜̺C̹A͚L̳̥͇̬͍̳ ͚̪͙͔͓̗MA͎̠̞S̘̣̠̮͙͕͇TER̙ R͙̤̼͎̟NG͙̹̩, chasin͇̖͎̠̝͈̙̟̹̘̗̳͇̼ͧ̓̿̍ͥͣ̋ͧͮͤ̆͂͐̓̓ͅg children with a chainsaw, drags in͇̖͎̠̝͈̙̟̹̘̗̳͇̼ͧ̓̿̍ͥͣ̋ͧͮͤ̆͂͐̓̓ͅ the bodie̘̝͗̍s of...

NOBLEJANOBII as Shinx and NEO EMOLGA as Lugia to the̘̝͗̍ SLAUGHTERHOUSE!
@Noblejanobii

NOBLEJANOBII
SUPERPOWERS:
COMPENSATOR [LEVEL 1] – Add three more̘̝͗̍ stages of Pokémon to your Lineups!
RAGE MODE [LEVEL 1] (CURRENT STREAK: 1) - After a losin͇̖͎̠̝͈̙̟̹̘̗̳͇̼ͧ̓̿̍ͥͣ̋ͧͮͤ̆͂͐̓̓ͅg streak of 2, yò̷̏̍͟u get +2 HP for all future battles and you attack twice for the first 5 turns. When you win, the buffs are remove̘̝͗̍d until you hit a lò̷̏̍͟ss streak of 2 or more again.
ACTIVE BUFFS: <None>

VS

NEO EMOLGA
SUPERPOWERS:
SMART COOKIE [LEVEL 2] – Every time̘̝͗̍ you make an attack that would gen͇̖͎̠̝͈̙̟̹̘̗̳͇̼ͧ̓̿̍ͥͣ̋ͧͮͤ̆͂͐̓̓ͅerate a self-damaging result (not very effective/no effect), you have a 66% chance of stò̷̏̍͟pping yourse̘̝͗̍lf!
ACTIVE BUFFS: <Non͇̖͎̠̝͈̙̟̹̘̗̳͇̼ͧ̓̿̍ͥͣ̋ͧͮͤ̆͂͐̓̓ͅe>

The D̞̺͇̯͙̭E͔̙̳R̰̦̮̩̗͙͍̲͍͚͕̜̙͈AN̯͇G̥̲̬͙̗̩͕̘̙̞̲̹̰̖ͅED̠̠ ͈̦͙̳͖̙͉ ̲̰͉̲̗̖ͅC͎͎͓͔͚͎̗̞O͉͍̯̙̺̟̯͙͉͔̹̠͎I̞̫̤͙̖̯N O̙͖̫̘̣̗̮̥̤̦̻̦̲̖F̦̮̫̦̠̙͓̝̮͇͙͚ͅ ̟͇͔̬̳̩GR̫͎̳̩̮͇̖̩̼IZ̺̖͙̼̖̯̭͈̬͔ͅZLY̖̝̦̖̞̳̻̪ ̫̫̬͙̥M̗̯̤̲̦̬̹̜̭̺̞͖ͅA͚̞̙̳̟̭̘S̞͓̪S͔͖̼̗̬̱̩̗̤̗͔̞̰̭A̳̫C ̭̪̻̲͈̺̻̞̲̖ͅRE̺̻̯͎̖̗̟̝̘͓͕͓S̖̗̺̮̣̖̣̞͓̺̠͚̝ has declare̘̝͗̍d the dark queen͇̖͎̠̝͈̙̟̹̘̗̳͇̼ͧ̓̿̍ͥͣ̋ͧͮͤ̆͂͐̓̓ͅ N̖̱̲̝O̫B̪͖̤LE̤J̺͕̲̪̦̳̹̻͖̱͇̮A̮̜̼̱̦̗N̫̗͉͙͇̳Ọ̥͔̠͚̞ͅB ̰͇̩̰I͙̬̮͚̝̮I̦ strike̘̝͗̍s first blood!

---

TURN 1
NOBLEJANOBII starts the slaughte̘̝͗̍r with Thunder Punch! But he̘̝͗̍r aim sucks and she en͇̖͎̠̝͈̙̟̹̘̗̳͇̼ͧ̓̿̍ͥͣ̋ͧͮͤ̆͂͐̓̓ͅds up m̻̥̣ur̗͍͍͎̠̞d͓̥̺̮̳e̫̬r͇̖ing͈̳̜ an innocent Cleffa in͇̖͎̠̝͈̙̟̹̘̗̳͇̼ͧ̓̿̍ͥͣ̋ͧͮͤ̆͂͐̓̓ͅstead!
NEO EMOLGA uses Thunde̘̝͗̍r! It’s NOT VERY EFFECTIVE…
…SMART COOKIE CHECK: (36/100) but he actually grows a brain ce̘̝͗̍ll and realizes that’s a stupid idea! Wow, Ne̘̝͗̍o, so you’re not a total mò̷̏̍͟ron after all!

TURN 2
NOBLEJANOBII uses Bò̷̏̍͟uncy Bubble̘̝͗̍! But she was daydreaming and re̘̝͗̍alizes it was a live grenade she threw at the audience!
NEO EMOLGA uses Sin͇̖͎̠̝͈̙̟̹̘̗̳͇̼ͧ̓̿̍ͥͣ̋ͧͮͤ̆͂͐̓̓ͅister Arrow Raid! Well, he misse̘̝͗̍s but at least he makes sure the Cleffa Noble just killed won’t ever be identified! Yay!

TURN 3
NOBLEJANOBII uses Infern͇̖͎̠̝͈̙̟̹̘̗̳͇̼ͧ̓̿̍ͥͣ̋ͧͮͤ̆͂͐̓̓ͅo Overdrive! She misse̘̝͗̍s Neo but at least she did a great jò̷̏̍͟b burning down a village! Ha ha, Happy Halloween͇̖͎̠̝͈̙̟̹̘̗̳͇̼ͧ̓̿̍ͥͣ̋ͧͮͤ̆͂͐̓̓ͅ you sad little scrubs!
NEO EMOLGA uses Spit Up! He vomits out that disgusting dead Rattata he̘̝͗̍ ate!

TURN 4
NOBLEJANOBII uses Bite̘̝͗̍! SHE OUTRIGHT MUR̻̣̙̤̖̲D̤̹̰̲E̹̹͚̻̱̫ͅR̻̪̠̣S NEO IN A SUPER-EFFECTIVE OHKO! AND YES, YOU FIND HIM V̩͓͉̩̝̤E͚̭̭̯RY ̺͍͉̞̳̰͍TA̪͚Ṣ̮̺̝̠ͅTY͚͈ AN͕̞̙͕̪͖̪D͉ ̥ͅDEL̬̳̦̯͈͍͕I̘̠̞͈̫C̥̩̲I͖̥̼OU̝̖̯͍̤̖S!̝̖!̩̱̙̦̭!̼ ͖̟̖̯

DECK OF MANY ZINGS DROP (1/100) – THE DECK HAS APPEARED!!!

Oh… ò̷̏̍͟h, Noble̘̝͗̍, that was ḅ̮̝̳͈e̬͔͈aụ͍̘t͓͖̠i̤̻̭̲͍f͍̰̩u̞l̮̺͉̫. You get 1 EXP from murde̘̝͗̍rously munchin͇̖͎̠̝͈̙̟̹̘̗̳͇̼ͧ̓̿̍ͥͣ̋ͧͮͤ̆͂͐̓̓ͅg on Neò̷̏̍͟’s carcass and you get to enjoy doing an͇̖͎̠̝͈̙̟̹̘̗̳͇̼ͧ̓̿̍ͥͣ̋ͧͮͤ̆͂͐̓̓ͅy of these things to him!

• Devolve his sò̷̏̍͟rry Lugia carcass in͇̖͎̠̝͈̙̟̹̘̗̳͇̼ͧ̓̿̍ͥͣ̋ͧͮͤ̆͂͐̓̓ͅto an e̘̝͗̍gg! Ha ha ha!
• Burn an͇̖͎̠̝͈̙̟̹̘̗̳͇̼ͧ̓̿̍ͥͣ̋ͧͮͤ̆͂͐̓̓ͅ Evolution Crystal to become a badass Luxio!
• Devolve an͇̖͎̠̝͈̙̟̹̘̗̳͇̼ͧ̓̿̍ͥͣ̋ͧͮͤ̆͂͐̓̓ͅd egg yourself for an͇̖͎̠̝͈̙̟̹̘̗̳͇̼ͧ̓̿̍ͥͣ̋ͧͮͤ̆͂͐̓̓ͅ Evolution Crystal!
• Drop Neo scre̘̝͗̍aming in͇̖͎̠̝͈̙̟̹̘̗̳͇̼ͧ̓̿̍ͥͣ̋ͧͮͤ̆͂͐̓̓ͅto your WHEEL!!
• Or Whee̘̝͗̍l yourself if you really want!

How do yò̷̏̍͟u play your n͇̖͎̠̝͈̙̟̹̘̗̳͇̼ͧ̓̿̍ͥͣ̋ͧͮͤ̆͂͐̓̓ͅightmare̘̝͗̍ today!?

And…

Do yò̷̏̍͟u draw from the Deck of Many Zings… or do you han͇̖͎̠̝͈̙̟̹̘̗̳͇̼ͧ̓̿̍ͥͣ̋ͧͮͤ̆͂͐̓̓ͅd it to Ne̘̝͗̍o Emolga to su̮̠̭͉̱̘̭̥͍̹f̲̤͈̳͖̳̪̩̹f̮̦͖̠͎ͅe̙r̲̖̫͚ with?

How dò̷̏̍͟es the dark mistress decide̘̝͗̍!? I eagerly await!

[Noblejanobii]

Hahaha wow that really is beautiful. Freed from constant battles with Arnisd and take down a legendary. Only in the DBR!

We're just gonna devolve Neo for now, but we can't go without a little chaos, so let's draw from the deck and see what mayhem it brings!

[AgloMe Oen]

Hahaha wow that really is beautiful. Freed from constant battles with Arnisd and take down a legendary. Only in the DBR!

We're just gonna devolve Neo for now, but we can't go without a little chaos, so let's draw from the deck and see what mayhem it brings!

G͂ͧo͈͉͈̟̞̻o͖̳d̙! It makes me̴̢ͯ͒͂͟ woñ̰̭͔̞̲̥̱̥́͌̃̑ͩ͐̀der if he would make for a very tasty o̮̮̬̯̥̬͇͎͔͈̠̜̳͊̍̆̂̊̋͊̐ͥ͐̅̒̚mele̴̢ͯ͒͂͟t. You know, with so̮̮̬̯̥̬͇͎͔͈̠̜̳͊̍̆̂̊̋͊̐ͥ͐̅̒̚me Grumpig bacon and some me̴̢ͯ͒͂͟aty Miltank bits. T͈̰̏ͥha̩̣̝t̹̠͈ͦ̽ͭͭͅ'̲̝̳̙̲͖ͫ̓ͤ͊̄̈s̺̳̦̼͂̋̀͐ m̳y̅ͦͫ̀ fͣ̎ͫă͉͈͓̼̮̌̊ͯͨ̚ͅv̇͐̾͗́̊͋ǒ͍̰̘̚̚r̩̙̤̤̯̖͌ͩ̃ͯ̚̚i͈̱ͤ̏ t̗̓e͙͕͓̓̊͌!

But ñ̰̭͔̞̲̥̱̥́͌̃̑ͩ͐̀ow let’s see̴̢ͯ͒͂͟ what chao̮̮̬̯̥̬͇͎͔͈̠̜̳͊̍̆̂̊̋͊̐ͥ͐̅̒̚s you’re pulling out!

NOBLEJANOBII draws from the deck añ̰̭͔̞̲̥̱̥́͌̃̑ͩ͐̀d the fate̴̢ͯ͒͂͟ is revealed…

#12 The Borrower!
THE BORROWER! - You get the Someoñ̰̭͔̞̲̥̱̥́͌̃̑ͩ͐̀e Else’s Wheelie Item, which allows yo̮̮̬̯̥̬͇͎͔͈̠̜̳͊̍̆̂̊̋͊̐ͥ͐̅̒̚u to Wheel someoñ̰̭͔̞̲̥̱̥́͌̃̑ͩ͐̀e using another player’s Wheel (even their own)!

Hey, like the idea of throwing arñ̰̭͔̞̲̥̱̥́͌̃̑ͩ͐̀isd s͚̥̼ͪ̉ͭç͇̠̘̪̫͇̺͗ͣ͑͛̅͛ͤr͑͋ͩ͡ë̺̗̪́͆̂a̘̹ͪͬm͉̝̭̼̻i̤̺n ̰̱̜g̦̹͖̳̻͙̍̀̄̇̊ͦ into his own Wheel? Hey, I like the idea of picking whoe̴̢ͯ͒͂͟ver’s Wheel is the WORST and dishing this little bit o̮̮̬̯̥̬͇͎͔͈̠̜̳͊̍̆̂̊̋͊̐ͥ͐̅̒̚n them. Sounds like damñ̰̭͔̞̲̥̱̥́͌̃̑ͩ͐̀ good fun!

You have̴̢ͯ͒͂͟ fuñ̰̭͔̞̲̥̱̥́͌̃̑ͩ͐̀ with that mo̮̮̬̯̥̬͇͎͔͈̠̜̳͊̍̆̂̊̋͊̐ͥ͐̅̒̚nstrosity now!

[C0L0R3D]

…I find it a tad concerning one battle or so after I land a Stalker combo on my wheel Aglome shows up. But hey, I guess we’re kinda in Stalker spirit now.

[AgloMe Oen]

The audience is N̫̖͚̯̝̜̣̤͕͈ͯ̂͌̍ͮ͐̽ͧ͐̿O̞̙̗͖̻̟͓̖Ṭ͖̦͎͎̘̳̪̟̺̮ entertained enough! More s̳͕l͑aͧ̒ṷ̖̥̄̒̃g̟̤h͍t͋͂͑ͮ̈́̌e͂̄͛ͩr̪̣̩ͥ͆̉ required!

Š̻E̘ͯA̪͕̹̎͋ͧ̽ͅS̙̯O̫͖̖̭͇̝̘̒ͯ̓̉ͥͧ̑N̘̯̳͈̘̓̀̈́̋ͬ ̦̦͚̬ͨ̿ͤ̈6̠̤͔̲̤̄̏ͣ͐̓6̹̻6̯͚

#1 NEO EMOLGA: AS CINCCINO
SUPERPOWERS:
SMART COOKIE [LEVEL 2] – Every time you make an attack that would generate a self-damaging result (not very effective/no effect), you have a 66% chance of stopping yourself!
ACTIVE BUFFS: <None>
BATTLE STATUS: COMBAT ELIGIBLE!

#2 CHAKRAMASTER: AS SYLVEON
SUPERPOWERS:
SMART COOKIE [LEVEL 2] – Every time you make an attack that would generate a self-damaging result (not very effective/no effect), you have a 66% chance of stopping yourself!
ACTIVE BUFFS: <None>
BATTLE STATUS: COMBAT ELIGIBLE!

#3 NOBLEJANOBII: AS SHINX
SUPERPOWERS:
COMPENSATOR [LEVEL 1] – Add three more stages of Pokémon to your Lineups!
RAGE MODE [LEVEL 1] (CURRENT STREAK: 0) - After a losing streak of 2, you get +2 HP for all future battles and you attack twice for the first 5 turns. When you win, the buffs are removed until you hit a loss streak of 2 or more again.
ACTIVE BUFFS: <None>
BATTLE STATUS: COMBAT ELIGIBLE!

#4 SCYTHERWOLF: AS AMPHAROS
SUPERPOWERS:
FRENZY [LEVEL 1] – During battles, you attack twice for the first 10 turns!
ACTIVE BUFFS: <None>
BATTLE STATUS: COMBAT ELIGIBLE!

#5 SLICKSLACK: AS PALPITOAD
SUPERPOWERS:
WHEEL MASTER [LEVEL 1] – ALWAYS have the Wheel option after winning and Wheel people, including yourself, as much as you like! No Wheelie items needed for you!
ACTIVE BUFFS: MIGHTY SHIELD
BATTLE STATUS: COMBAT ELIGIBLE!

#6 VOLTAIRE MAGNETON: AS WOOPER
SUPERPOWERS:
WHEEL MASTER [LEVEL 1] – ALWAYS have the Wheel option after winning and Wheel people, including yourself, as much as you like! No Wheelie items needed for you!
ACTIVE BUFFS: MIGHTY SHIELD
BATTLE STATUS: COMBAT ELIGIBLE!

#7 ARNISD: AS CHIKORITA
SUPERPOWERS:
YES, I LIFT, BRO [LEVEL 1] - Your Max HP for each battle is increased by 1!
ACTIVE BUFFS: <None>
BATTLE STATUS: COMBAT ELIGIBLE!

#8 SHRUIKAN: AS FENNEKIN
SUPERPOWERS:
COMPENSATOR [LEVEL 1] – Add three more stages of Pokémon to your Lineups!
SMART COOKIE [LEVEL 1] Every time you make an attack that would generate a self-damaging result (not very effective/no effect), you have a 33% chance of stopping yourself!
ACTIVE BUFFS: <None>
BATTLE STATUS: COMBAT ELIGIBLE!

[Neo Emolga]

Eh heh, well, that was painful… >.<

In the interest of that wonderful thing called survival that I didn’t get to enjoy in that last battle, I’m going to spend 1 EXP and 3 Coins on the Yes, I Lift Bro Level 1 Superpower and yeah, let’s use that last Coin for some Brass Balls and Prime that, also.

[Neo Emolga]

Man, leave it to Aglome Oen to make you feel like smut even after winning…

As fun as Wheeling Voltaire would have been, that Mighty Shield says no, so I’m going to have to go with a devolve and egg on this one. Gotta save that self-Wheel if and when I end up as something awful.

[AgloMe Oen]

Hi there. Iͦͧͬt͉̭͎̋ͤ̏’s̅̔̔ͣͧ̑ ͉̳̱̘̀̃ͮ̋a̙̮͖͖̹nar̟̬͔͎̦͔̮c̯̗͎hy ̪͈̥͍̰̦̳c̼̩̠͖̞̀̎̽̂̈́a̎ͬlḽ͖͇͔̌͒ͭ͛i̳͉ng!̝͉̜͂̍ͫ

DEMONIC MASTER RNG, setting ē̥͈̱̤̒͛̀verything on firē̥͈̱̤̒͛̀…

NOBLEJANOBII as Shinx and SLICKSLACK as Palpito͈̦̟͕̣͍͚ad to the SLAUGHTERHOUSE!
@Noblejanobii @SlickSlack

NOBLEJANOBII
SUPERPOWERS:
COMPENSATOR [LEVEL 1] – Add thrē̥͈̱̤̒͛̀e more stages of Pokémon̙̥͎̜̼̩̱̬͂̈ͦͯ̄̄ͣ̽ to your Lineups!
RAGE MODE [LEVEL 1] (CURRENT STREAK: 0) - After a losing streak of 2, you get +2 HP for all future battles and you attack twice for the first 5 turns. When you win, the buffs are removed until you hit a loss streak of 2 or more again.
ACTIVE BUFFS: <None>

VS

SLICKSLACK
WHEEL MASTER [LEVEL 1] – ALWAYS have the Wheel option after winning and Wheel people, including yourself, as much as you likē̥͈̱̤̒͛̀! No Wheelie items needed for you!
ACTIVE BUFFS: MIGHTY SHIELD

The MACABRE COIN OF D̰ͭẢR̗̗̙̗ͥ͛ͮͬK̹͕̖̦̩̞̍̎ͣ̽̽̂ ̼̗̻̫̤͗͊͐͒ͫH̫̙̬̦̼̲ͮͯ̽̓̎́O̔͐͆̽̿͑LO͙̦̠̠̱͖̬̓́ͫͫͥ͊ͩC̻̠ͅ ̻A̙̖̱̱̝Û̀ͫ̍S̜̠̾̅T͇S͙͕͖̝͔̙̜͊ͥ̄͊̆̓͑ has declared SLICKSLACK strikes first blooͩd!

---

TURN 1
SLICKSLACK begins the slaughter with Bitē̥͈̱̤̒͛̀! She takes a big chomp of out a jugular vein̙̥͎̜̼̩̱̬͂̈ͦͯ̄̄ͣ̽!
NOBLEJANOBII uses Cross Cho͈̦̟͕̣͍͚p! And now there’s a Squirtle in four separate pieces!

TURN 2
SLICKSLACK uses G-Max Vinē̥͈̱̤̒͛̀ Lash! She whips her slaves into o͈̦̟͕̣͍͚bedience!
NOBLEJANOBII uses Baddy Bad! Nah, she’d rather n̙̥͎̜̼̩̱̬͂̈ͦͯ̄̄ͣ̽ot do something with a stupid name like that!

TURN 3
SLICKSLACK uses Darkest Lariat! But she prefers things with blades and knives.
NOBLEJANOBII usē̥͈̱̤̒͛̀s Razor Shell! But she misses and tosses it into the crowd!

TURN 4
SLICKSLACK uses Stored Power! She overloads the reactor at the n̙̥͎̜̼̩̱̬͂̈ͦͯ̄̄ͣ̽uclear power plant!
NOBLEJANOBII uses Bolt Strike! Except she zaps a Pidgey to a crisp instead!

TURN 5
SLICKSLACK uses Dragon Hammē̥͈̱̤̒͛̀r! Except Smaug tells her to͈̦̟͕̣͍͚ piss off and buy her own.
NOBLEJANOBII uses Stomp! She turns a Caterpie into a puddle of goo!

TURN 6
SLICKSLACK uses Ice Burn! She melts a glacier, doing her part for accelerating climate change!
NOBLEJANOBII uses Ingrain! She stitches the bo͈̦̟͕̣͍͚dies of her victims to the ground!

TURN 7
SLICKSLACK uses Submission! She forces her slaves to hear and o͈̦̟͕̣͍͚bey her dark command!
NOBLEJANOBII uses Camouflage! And n̙̥͎̜̼̩̱̬͂̈ͦͯ̄̄ͣ̽ow the authoritiē̥͈̱̤̒͛̀s will never find the bodies!

TURN 8
SLICKSLACK uses Block! She seals off the exits before making the mine collapse!
NOBLEJANOBII uses Covet! Shē̥͈̱̤̒͛̀ uses a bloodletter to satisfy her thirst for that sweet, sweet blood!

TURN 9
SLICKSLACK uses Baton Pass! But she instead hands the next runner a stick o͈̦̟͕̣͍͚f dynamite!
NOBLEJANOBII uses Mach Punch! But she instead beheads a Mime Jr with a flamin̙̥͎̜̼̩̱̬͂̈ͦͯ̄̄ͣ̽g fist!

TURN 10
SLICKSLACK uses Frost Breath! But she only vomits all over her next victim.
NOBLEJANOBII uses Multi-Attack! She strikes multiple audience members at the same time!

Ladies, we’re n̙̥͎̜̼̩̱̬͂̈ͦͯ̄̄ͣ̽ot getting any younger here and we’d all likē̥͈̱̤̒͛̀ to get this done before our eyes sink into the back of our skulls. Wake up and get with the program!
AGLOME OEN strikes both SLICKSLACK and NOBLEJANOBII for 1HP DAMAGE! SLICKSLACK (1/3) NOBLEJANOBII (1/3)
Now do somethin̙̥͎̜̼̩̱̬͂̈ͦͯ̄̄ͣ̽g!

TURN 11
SLICKSLACK uses Bone Club! But shē̥͈̱̤̒͛̀ prefers using the skeletal remains o͈̦̟͕̣͍͚f her victims for stabbing weapons.
NOBLEJANOBII uses Grudge! But she’d rather pursue an̙̥͎̜̼̩̱̬͂̈ͦͯ̄̄ͣ̽ actual murder instead.

TURN 12
SLICKSLACK uses Heat Crash! She drops a furnace from the roof down to the people below!
NOBLEJANOBII uses Tailwind! But she overdoes it and causes a plane to crash!

TURN 13
SLICKSLACK uses Leech Life! But she bites an inn̙̥͎̜̼̩̱̬͂̈ͦͯ̄̄ͣ̽ocent Pichu and realizes her fangs haven’t fully developed yet.
NOBLEJANOBII uses Strength Sap! But she gets it wrong and only causē̥͈̱̤̒͛̀s everyone at the hospital to become anemic.

TURN 14
SLICKSLACK uses Taunt! She laughs and throws in̙̥͎̜̼̩̱̬͂̈ͦͯ̄̄ͣ̽sults at her victims! Before cutting them up, of course.
NOBLEJANOBII uses Retaliate! She gets back at the bullies she used to know in grammar school! And now they’ll all have to have closed casket funerals.

TURN 15
SLICKSLACK usē̥͈̱̤̒͛̀s Razor Wind! But it’s actually a rapidly spinning propeller that she sends flyin̙̥͎̜̼̩̱̬͂̈ͦͯ̄̄ͣ̽g into the crowd.
NOBLEJANOBII uses G-Max Snooze! Except she cranks it a bit to͈̦̟͕̣͍͚o high and makes that Snorlax sleep a bit more permanently. Whoops!

TURN 16
SLICKSLACK uses Minimizē̥͈̱̤̒͛̀! But she finds out the hard way trying to squeeze a Rattata through a vent just makes him go squish in a warm and gooey way.
NOBLEJANOBII uses Scale Shot! She opens fire on someon̙̥͎̜̼̩̱̬͂̈ͦͯ̄̄ͣ̽e who was just trying to see how much they weigh!

TURN 17
SLICKSLACK uses Wonder Room! She locks a bunch of kids up and sprays hallucinogenic gas into the room!
NOBLEJANOBII uses False Surren̙̥͎̜̼̩̱̬͂̈ͦͯ̄̄ͣ̽der! Except they see right through it and shē̥͈̱̤̒͛̀ had to end up killing everyone instead.

TURN 18
SLICKSLACK uses Jump Kick! Except she misses Noble and now a mo͈̦̟͕̣͍͚ther Furret has to explain to her husband why her kid is missing a head.
NOBLEJANOBII uses Morning Sun! And n̙̥͎̜̼̩̱̬͂̈ͦͯ̄̄ͣ̽ow all the nocturnal Pokémon despise her.

TURN 19
SLICKSLACK uses Thunder Fang! Except runn̙̥͎̜̼̩̱̬͂̈ͦͯ̄̄ͣ̽ing voltage through Dracula only really pisses him off.
NOBLEJANOBII uses Clanging Scales! She keeps the whole nē̥͈̱̤̒͛̀ighborhood up at night screaming for her demise!

TURN 20
SLICKSLACK uses Baddy Bad! Except she rather be completely rotten and evil instead.
NOBLEJANOBII usē̥͈̱̤̒͛̀s Ominous Wind! But they’re no͈̦̟͕̣͍͚t paying her en̙̥͎̜̼̩̱̬͂̈ͦͯ̄̄ͣ̽ough to haunt a house.

…
Ladies, seriously, at least try murdering each other sometime today. This has got to be embarrassing for both of you!
AGLOME OEN strikē̥͈̱̤̒͛̀s both SLICKSLACK and NOBLEJANOBII for 1HP DAMAGE! SLICKSLACK (2/3) NOBLEJANOBII (2/3)
We wann̙̥͎̜̼̩̱̬͂̈ͦͯ̄̄ͣ̽a see blood!

TURN 21
SLICKSLACK uses Malicious Moonsault! Except she misses and blows up a planet instead.
NOBLEJANOBII uses Branch Poke! But she jabs a Yun̙̥͎̜̼̩̱̬͂̈ͦͯ̄̄ͣ̽goos too hard and impales him in the eye.

TURN 22
SLICKSLACK uses Continental Crush! But blowing up an entire continent isn’t quite as much fun as destroying entire planets.
NOBLEJANOBII uses Powder Snow! But it’s rē̥͈̱̤̒͛̀ally anthrax she spreads aro͈̦̟͕̣͍͚und everywhere!

TURN 23
SLICKSLACK uses Flatter! Except she gets it mixed up with “fatter” like a nimrod and feeds a stuffed Snorlax a wafer-thin mint.
NOBLEJANOBII uses Jump Kick! And an̙̥͎̜̼̩̱̬͂̈ͦͯ̄̄ͣ̽other kid loses their head!

TURN 24
SLICKSLACK uses Reflect Type! She breaks a mirror by accident but decides to make good use of the shards in her torture chamber.
NOBLEJANOBII uses Men̙̥͎̜̼̩̱̬͂̈ͦͯ̄̄ͣ̽acing Moo͈̦̟͕̣͍͚nraze Maelstrom! But she wants hē̥͈̱̤̒͛̀r apocalypse to involve fire instead.

TURN 25
SLICKSLACK uses Simple Beam! Except here the caveman can do it and she can’t! Ha!
NOBLEJANOBII uses Drill Peck! But she thinks it involves welding a dagger to her face.

TURN 26
SLICKSLACK uses Fake Tears! But when people sē̥͈̱̤̒͛̀e right through it, she makes them cry REAL tears!
NOBLEJANOBII uses Magic Powder! And she causes some kids to get addicted to drugs!

TURN 27
SLICKSLACK uses Splash! She jumps around in the kiddie pool she filled with blo͈̦̟͕̣͍͚od!
NOBLEJANOBII uses Leaf Tornado! Except it escalates in̙̥͎̜̼̩̱̬͂̈ͦͯ̄̄ͣ̽to a real tornado and devastates the countryside!

TURN 28
SLICKSLACK uses Petal Dance! But she finds that Lilligant she ripped the flowē̥͈̱̤̒͛̀r off of would rather kill her now than do͈̦̟͕̣͍͚ the tango.
NOBLEJANOBII uses Never-Ending Nightmare! But she needs to do a lot more damage to her align̙̥͎̜̼̩̱̬͂̈ͦͯ̄̄ͣ̽ment before using that!

TURN 29
SLICKSLACK uses Thrash! She beats a Sentret into a bloody pulp!
NOBLEJANOBII uses G-Max Tartness! But that in̙̥͎̜̼̩̱̬͂̈ͦͯ̄̄ͣ̽stead causes evē̥͈̱̤̒͛̀ryone to get monstrous obesity.

TURN 30
SLICKSLACK uses Court Change! But to her, that involves burning it all down instead.
NOBLEJANOBII uses Dark Pulse! But shē̥͈̱̤̒͛̀ finds out the darkness is more dead than living.

…30 TURNS AND NOTHING!?
S̤̜̰̠ͮ͒̉̏͆ͅWÉ̿̒ͬͫ̇ͮ̿ͥͮ̽̎ͪͫE̘͙̺̠̞̘̩̾̄́̌ͫ͗̈́ͪ̆ͬ̎ͩͫ̓ͅ ͚̘̹̥̰̻T͍͚̆͆̊ͅ ̃̎̎ͬ̀͗͛̂͐̋ͩ̋͗ͨM͈̪̭̞̟̙Ȏ̋ͣ̉̌̎ͧͤͮ̈́̐Ț̗H̦͉͆̓̿ͥ̔ͥ̐̒̉̚ͅ ̼̯͖̮͈̼ͅER ̩̭̺̞̟̮͕͖̱͇͔͐̒͋ͩ̒ͪ̔͊ͩ͑̚O͇̙͎̼̰̻͖̱͓̺͔͙͒ͨ̓͒͌͗̿̍ͪ̈́̔͌͐̎̚ ͍̝ͅF̹̝̫͙̜́́ͪ͗ͪ ̥̪̗̥͎͎̞G͉̼͙̱̞͍̙̥̝͈͖̝̜̮̩I̭͇̲͔̲̬̫͍̩ͪ̂̃̒ͬ̈́̑͊͒RAͯͤ̐ͮ̅ͣ ̯̖̺̹̝̟̪̘̹̱͚͚̱̪̦ͭ̑̓͆͐̋̓̀͌TI̒̃͒̍͊̆́͗̈ͩͥ̑N̰̘͎̻̲ͣ͒̿̔̓̎ ̻A̮͖̲ͦ̊ͤ, this is just SAD. If I had it my way, you’d bo͈̦̟͕̣͍͚th die, but ugh, I suppose I have to let one of you win and live. So let’s flip a coin! Heads and Noble dies and Tails, Slick fries. So with a little flip…
TAILS! Sorry, no͈̦̟͕̣͍͚t sorry, Slick! Enjoy a n̰̳͔̳̖͍̥̎̾̾͐̈͒́̓ͅice dirt nap, try hitting something next time and maybe this won’t happen̰̳͔̳̖͍̥̎̾̾͐̈͒́̓ͅ!!

DECK OF MANY ZINGS DROP (5/100) – THE DECK HAS APPEARED!!!

Ugh, that was just h̩̰̳͇̣̲̟͚o͗͑̍̽̀̐̔̾ͧͩ͂͊ͨ͒r̃̊̾̽́͒̏̉͌̽͒͂ͥr͗̍͂͌ͫ̊̅ͪͦí ̗̮̗͎̟ͪ͆̈͒b͔͎̻̥̝̫ͩ̋͌̔̊̒l̯̤̬̣͔͇̖̗͙͙ͅe̟͉ͮ̎. Take your 1 EXP that yo͈̦̟͕̣͍͚u didn’t actually ē̥͈̱̤̒͛̀arn and…

• Devolve Slick into a pathetic Tympole.
• Devolve and kill yoͩurself for an Evolution Crystal! Nothing wronͨ̃̋͑ͭͮg with that!
• Evolve yoursē̥͈̱̤̒͛̀lf to Luxio and stop being a pansy Shinͨ̃̋͑ͭͮx.
• Or Wheel yourself. Because you’re p̱̳̙̘s̗̰̺̠ͥ̿̃͆y̲̱̘̟͎̘c̫̜̜̖̋͒̂̆hö̻̬̺́̏̆ti̘̼̹̣͐ͫ̌̎cͪ ͍̩̞̩ͧ̌͛.

And…

Do you try your luck with the Dē̥͈̱̤̒͛̀ck or do you to͈̦̟͕̣͍͚ss it in Slick’s zombie facē̥͈̱̤̒͛̀ to deal with!?

Go oń̦, d̏̏ͬ͌ͥ͐ȅͣ̎̃c͍̥̩̬ͧ͊̃͆i͍̻̠͙̣̎͑̇̄ͪde̠̦̮ a̩͚̫ͭ̅̊l̟r͕͊ë͓͙̳̘̮ͣ̆̆̂ͬͅă̠̞̮̮̘ͤ̐̌̔d̗̪̣͇̲̻̈́̆ͬ̉̓ͯy ̰!̰̩̳̠ͦͪ̃́

[Noblejanobii]

............ huh. Gotta admit, I figured that was a surefire loss but hey I'll take it.

We'll just devolve SlickSlack for now. And yeah I'll draw from the deck sure why not.