Let’s see if Neo’s plan̴̛͕̙͖͔͕̠̙̯̱̗̘͓̯̦̅ͩͬ͌̎ͭ̉̿̽̏̆ͫ̔ͪ͝ to pre̼̗̯y upon the weak b̾͌́ͣͮ̑̾a̹͔̥ͫ̿̏c͙̜̬̰̃ͧ͊̿kf̺͕̘̤̖͙̤̌̊͌͋̌̆͌ir̠̣̰͊̃̎͐̓ ̩͎è̏̓͒̌͋s͎͇ in his o̳̜̝̺̦̥̙͆͗ͨ̃ͥ͛͗verly cheeky fluffy face!
DEMONIC MASTER RNG, m̻͎a̎̏ͮk̬̥͋̿ing sc̜ͭu͕l͋p͔̹͔ț̬͎͗̽̚ur̒e̺͓̰ͥ̔͂s̜̺̯̑͊̀ ͕wiͦth ̬͇̏͛i͍̳̩ͨ̉ͨn͙͖̱t̥͚͉ͦ̐ͣe̙̳̐ͮ̆ͅř̥na͓̼͈͒̈́ͤl̫̐ ̝̣ͮ͗org͎̹ͤ͐a̻ns͇̟̘ͤͩ̀, drags in̲̳̝̹̩̮̱̲̣̦ the bodies of…
NEO EMOLGA as Cinccino, NOBLEJANOBII as Shinx, an̲̳̝̹̩̮̱̲̣̦d SLICKSLACK as Tympole to the SLAUGHTERHOUSE for a MACABRE WISHIER PIECE ONSLAUGHT BLOODBATH!
@Neo Emolga @Noblejanobii @SlickSlack
NEO EMOLGA
SUPERPOWERS:
SMART COOKIE [LEVEL 2] – Eve̼̗̯ry time you make an̴̛͕̙͖͔͕̠̙̯̱̗̘͓̯̦̅ͩͬ͌̎ͭ̉̿̽̏̆ͫ̔ͪ͝ attack that would generate a self-damaging result (not very e̼̗̯ffective/no̳̜̝̺̦̥̙͆͗ͨ̃ͥ͛͗ effect), you have a 66% chance of stopping yourself!
YES, I LIFT, BRO [LEVEL 1] - Your Max HP for each battle is increased by 1!
ACTIVE BUFFS: DYNAMAXED: 3x HP (10/10), DOUBLE DAMAGE
VS
NOBLEJANOBII
SUPERPOWERS:
COMPENSATOR [LEVEL 1] – Add thre̼̗̯e more stages of Pokémon̴̛͕̙͖͔͕̠̙̯̱̗̘͓̯̦̅ͩͬ͌̎ͭ̉̿̽̏̆ͫ̔ͪ͝ to your Lineups!
RAGE MODE [LEVEL 1] - After a losing streak of 2, yo̳̜̝̺̦̥̙͆͗ͨ̃ͥ͛͗u get +2 HP for all future battles and you attack twice for the first 5 turns. When you win, the buffs are removed until you hit a loss streak of 2 or more again.
SMART COOKIE [LEVEL 1] Eve̼̗̯ry time you make an attack that would generate a self-damaging result (not very effective/no effect), you have a 33% chan̴̛͕̙͖͔͕̠̙̯̱̗̘͓̯̦̅ͩͬ͌̎ͭ̉̿̽̏̆ͫ̔ͪ͝ce of stopping yourself!
ACTIVE BUFFS: <None>
&
SLICKSLACK
SUPERPOWERS:
WHEEL MASTER [LEVEL 1] ALWAYS have the Wheel option after winn̴̛͕̙͖͔͕̠̙̯̱̗̘͓̯̦̅ͩͬ͌̎ͭ̉̿̽̏̆ͫ̔ͪ͝ing and Wheel peo̳̜̝̺̦̥̙͆͗ͨ̃ͥ͛͗ple, including yourse̼̗̯lf, as much as you like! No Wheelie items needed for you!
ACTIVE BUFFS: <None>
The DRACONIC COIN OF G̰͌R̩̐O͕̗͋͂T̈EͅS̯͂Q̝̳̖̎̑ͦU̙͙͉ͮ̈̏Eͣ̍ B͕̰ͩ̇L̤̰̯ͪͤͥO̥̤O͇Ḏ̝̦͛̋ͭ ̭̥̰ͫ̑ͪRIT͔̲̝͒ͧ̇U͔̯̖ͨ͆̔A̼̹ͨͥL̫̠͈͊͑̾S͍ has declared NOBLEJANOBII and SLICKSLACK strike first blood!
TURN 1
NOBLEJANOBII starts the̼̗̯ slaughter with Swagger! It results in NEO EMOLGA feeling the ST͆̃̅I̱̭ͤ̈N̪̈ͤͅG͎IN̥͙͓G͙͎̈̑ A̝̻̒͗G̠͈͌͂O͈͈͚ͧ͗͋NY̔͊ ͖of̻͆ ͔PA̩̾͂ͅI̼͚̲̿̈̈́N͙̋̅ͅ!̓ͨ̄ (1/10)
SLICKSLACK uses Attract! red]And it make̼̗̯s NEO EMOLGA c̃r͕̫͕ͤ̓͛y̏ͫ̈́ ̤͇̿͛e͉̺̣͌ͮ̔v̮̳̔ͬe͂͊n̞ͥ M̹͎O͔͉̐̃R̥̟̠ͬ̐͊E̳̮͒ͤ ̜̹ͅB͕̫͉̌̊̎L̼̉OO̬̪͑́D̝͎̎ͫ! (2/10)
NEO EMOLGA attacks with G-Max Volcalith! But he doesn’t even̴̛͕̙͖͔͕̠̙̯̱̗̘͓̯̦̅ͩͬ͌̎ͭ̉̿̽̏̆ͫ̔ͪ͝ have his phone to Google that crap!
TURN 2
NOBLEJANOBII uses Fire Spin̴̛͕̙͖͔͕̠̙̯̱̗̘͓̯̦̅ͩͬ͌̎ͭ̉̿̽̏̆ͫ̔ͪ͝! She se̼̗̯ts the merry-go-round on fire!
SLICKSLACK uses Tar Sho̳̜̝̺̦̥̙͆͗ͨ̃ͥ͛͗t! She dumps a Growlithe in a tar pit and open̴̛͕̙͖͔͕̠̙̯̱̗̘͓̯̦̅ͩͬ͌̎ͭ̉̿̽̏̆ͫ̔ͪ͝s fire on him with his AK-47!
NEO EMOLGA uses Freezy Frost! He stuffs a Jigglypuff in a free̼̗̯zer and forgets she ever existed!
TURN 3
NOBLEJANOBII uses Poison Sting! But she used all her cyanide on schoolchildren!
SLICKSLACK uses Heavy Slam! And n̴̛͕̙͖͔͕̠̙̯̱̗̘͓̯̦̅ͩͬ͌̎ͭ̉̿̽̏̆ͫ̔ͪ͝ow she has to clean We̼̗̯edle guts off of herself!
NEO EMOLGA uses 10,000,000 Volt Thunderbolt! But he just overlo̳̜̝̺̦̥̙͆͗ͨ̃ͥ͛͗ads the reactor at the nuclear power plan̴̛͕̙͖͔͕̠̙̯̱̗̘͓̯̦̅ͩͬ͌̎ͭ̉̿̽̏̆ͫ̔ͪ͝t!
TURN 4
NOBLEJANOBII uses Triple Kick! She be̼̗̯heads all three heads of a Dodrio!
SLICKSLACK uses Fury Swipes! She goes all Freddy Krue̼̗̯ger on a Spearow!
NEO EMOLGA uses Trick! He pisses off a lot of children on Halloween̴̛͕̙͖͔͕̠̙̯̱̗̘͓̯̦̅ͩͬ͌̎ͭ̉̿̽̏̆ͫ̔ͪ͝!
TURN 5
NOBLEJANOBII uses Captivate! Once again, NEO EMOLGA feels the Ȕ͈̹͙̽̂N̑HOLY ̮͍͉̑͛ͯS̙̽T̥̠̥ING ̾͌̇O͛̓̓F ṖͯAI̝̠͑͌N͈̗ͬͮ! (3/10)
SLICKSLACK use̼̗̯s Hydro̳̜̝̺̦̥̙͆͗ͨ̃ͥ͛͗ Vortex! She sucks a Goldeen down̴̛͕̙͖͔͕̠̙̯̱̗̘͓̯̦̅ͩͬ͌̎ͭ̉̿̽̏̆ͫ̔ͪ͝ the drain!
NEO EMOLGA uses Icicle Crash! An̴̛͕̙͖͔͕̠̙̯̱̗̘͓̯̦̅ͩͬ͌̎ͭ̉̿̽̏̆ͫ̔ͪ͝d it impales an innocent Turtwig to death!
TURN 6
NOBLEJANOBII uses Grass Knot! She stran̴̛͕̙͖͔͕̠̙̯̱̗̘͓̯̦̅ͩͬ͌̎ͭ̉̿̽̏̆ͫ̔ͪ͝gles a Psyduck in the neck with a stalk!
SLICKSLACK uses Triple Kick! And that’s another three Dodrio heads that go flying! We’re meeting our beheading quota after all!
NEO EMOLGA uses Sunsteel Strike! Except he’s too much of a wimp to go to the sun̴̛͕̙͖͔͕̠̙̯̱̗̘͓̯̦̅ͩͬ͌̎ͭ̉̿̽̏̆ͫ̔ͪ͝!
TURN 7
NOBLEJANOBII uses G-Max Rapid Flow! She blows up a dam and washe̼̗̯s away a village!
SLICKSLACK uses Payback! Except Ne̼̗̯o hasn’t even hit anything yet!
NEO EMOLGA uses Roar! But it comes out as a hilariously comical squeak!
TURN 8
NOBLEJANOBII uses Extreme Evoboost! Exce̼̗̯pt that just causes her car to plow into a group of unknowin̴̛͕̙͖͔͕̠̙̯̱̗̘͓̯̦̅ͩͬ͌̎ͭ̉̿̽̏̆ͫ̔ͪ͝g pedestrians!
SLICKSLACK uses Ice̼̗̯ Hammer! She pummels a Scraggy to death and the murder weapon now melts away!
NEO EMOLGA uses Switchero̳̜̝̺̦̥̙͆͗ͨ̃ͥ͛͗o! He swaps out a bowling ball for a bomb!
TURN 9
NOBLEJANOBII uses Gyro Ball! Except she doesn’t have a single goddamn̴̛͕̙͖͔͕̠̙̯̱̗̘͓̯̦̅ͩͬ͌̎ͭ̉̿̽̏̆ͫ̔ͪ͝ clue what that is.
SLICKSLACK uses Chip Away! She cause̼̗̯s a bridge to collapse by tearing apart one o̳̜̝̺̦̥̙͆͗ͨ̃ͥ͛͗f the support columns!
NEO EMOLGA uses Giga Impact! It slams VICIOUSLY into SLICKSLACK, causing he̼̗̯r to CO͐Ū̜̝ͬG̥͇͓̒̊̉H̬̓ ͉̟̲͌́ͦU̠̖͉ͭ̅̈́P̤̣͉ͧͥ̚ ͐̽B̦͚̐̐̓ͅLOͭ͑͛Õ̱̻̽D̞! (2/3)
TURN 10
NOBLEJANOBII uses Magn̴̛͕̙͖͔͕̠̙̯̱̗̘͓̯̦̅ͩͬ͌̎ͭ̉̿̽̏̆ͫ̔ͪ͝itude! And that’s why half of California is now sunken in̴̛͕̙͖͔͕̠̙̯̱̗̘͓̯̦̅ͩͬ͌̎ͭ̉̿̽̏̆ͫ̔ͪ͝to the Pacific Ocean.
SLICKSLACK uses Soft-Boiled! She dumps a plushy Cottonee into a po̳̜̝̺̦̥̙͆͗ͨ̃ͥ͛͗t of boiling water!
NEO EMOLGA uses Aerial Ace̼̗̯! Except he sucks at being a pilot and crashes the plane.
TURN 11
NOBLEJANOBII uses Parting Shot! She waves goodbye as she sn̴̛͕̙͖͔͕̠̙̯̱̗̘͓̯̦̅ͩͬ͌̎ͭ̉̿̽̏̆ͫ̔ͪ͝ipes a Simipour in the head!
SLICKSLACK uses Misty Explosio̳̜̝̺̦̥̙͆͗ͨ̃ͥ͛͗n! She overloads the fog machines at a nightclub before blowing the whole place up!
NEO EMOLGA uses Nightmare! Except he accidentally uses it on himself and dreams of going into a woodchipper.
Slick, for crap’s sake, Neo’s a BIG FAT MONSTROUSLY OBESE CHINCHILLA that’s like hitting the BROAD SIDE OF A BARN! How could you keep missing him!?
Here’s a fine lesson on how to hit thin̴̛͕̙͖͔͕̠̙̯̱̗̘͓̯̦̅ͩͬ͌̎ͭ̉̿̽̏̆ͫ̔ͪ͝gs!
AGLONE OEN strikes and S̲͈L̅̒̃A͖̞͆͛U̘̻͕̐̿ͪGͤͭHTȆ̱R̦̥͗̒Sͥ S̗̳̀̍L̊͂̚I̩̟̖C͓K̩̮̼͆͑̂S̟͒LAC̆͂K̘̗ͦ̾ ̌fo̮̞r ͭͪ1H̃ͪ͒P̜ͮ DAM̺͓AG̭̩ͩ̇Eͬ!̱̈ (3/3)
TURN 12
NOBLEJANOBII uses Sn̴̛͕̙͖͔͕̠̙̯̱̗̘͓̯̦̅ͩͬ͌̎ͭ̉̿̽̏̆ͫ̔ͪ͝ipe Shot! She blows up the head of a Spinarak with her Barrett M82!
NEO EMOLGA uses Snarl! But it co̳̜̝̺̦̥̙͆͗ͨ̃ͥ͛͗mes out as just a cute little squeak that humiliates him in̴̛͕̙͖͔͕̠̙̯̱̗̘͓̯̦̅ͩͬ͌̎ͭ̉̿̽̏̆ͫ̔ͪ͝ front of everyone.
TURN 13
NOBLEJANOBII uses Rock Tomb! She̼̗̯ collapses a coal mine with everyone still inside!
NEO EMOLGA uses Speed Swap! And he causes several people to̳̜̝̺̦̥̙͆͗ͨ̃ͥ͛͗ overdose on̴̛͕̙͖͔͕̠̙̯̱̗̘͓̯̦̅ͩͬ͌̎ͭ̉̿̽̏̆ͫ̔ͪ͝ crystal meth!
TURN 14
NOBLEJANOBII uses Max Quake! And she sin̴̛͕̙͖͔͕̠̙̯̱̗̘͓̯̦̅ͩͬ͌̎ͭ̉̿̽̏̆ͫ̔ͪ͝ks the rest of California into the sea!
NEO EMOLGA uses Flame Wheel! And he sets yet another merry-go-round on fire!
TURN 15
NOBLEJANOBII use̼̗̯s Snore! Th͈̖e ̹HID͔̖̓ͤEO͎̹̓̊US͓̽ NŐ̲ISE͑͒ ̯cau͖͛ses̟ NE̘̱ͥ̿Ó̗͓̩͑ͣ ̮̘E̜̙̍ͭMO͙̮LGA̮̔ ̺̝͈ͭ͆̒to ̺̰͕SC͍͚̆̏REͪA̘͉̪ͬͬ̔M̂
W̝IͣTH́ ̤̳̇̓P̹͚ͦ̽AÏN! (4/10)
NEO EMOLGA uses Steel Roller! And that’s why this Snover is flat as a pan̴̛͕̙͖͔͕̠̙̯̱̗̘͓̯̦̅ͩͬ͌̎ͭ̉̿̽̏̆ͫ̔ͪ͝cake, officer!
TURN 16
NOBLEJANOBII uses Shadow Sneak! She manages to shoplift six bottles o̳̜̝̺̦̥̙͆͗ͨ̃ͥ͛͗f whiskey from the liquor store!
NEO EMOLGA uses Pulverizing Pan̴̛͕̙͖͔͕̠̙̯̱̗̘͓̯̦̅ͩͬ͌̎ͭ̉̿̽̏̆ͫ̔ͪ͝cake! Except IHOP doesn’t sell those and they tell him to piss off.
TURN 17
NOBLEJANOBII uses Freezy Frost! She locks a Sandile in an ice chest and kicks it down̴̛͕̙͖͔͕̠̙̯̱̗̘͓̯̦̅ͩͬ͌̎ͭ̉̿̽̏̆ͫ̔ͪ͝ the stairs!
NEO EMOLGA uses Bonemerang! Except he̼̗̯ misses Noble and takes a Lombre’s head clean off with it.
TURN 18
NOBLEJANOBII uses Milk Drink! Except she already turned that Miltank in̴̛͕̙͖͔͕̠̙̯̱̗̘͓̯̦̅ͩͬ͌̎ͭ̉̿̽̏̆ͫ̔ͪ͝to hamburgers.
NEO EMOLGA uses Behemoth Blade! But he misses and sends it crashing right into̳̜̝̺̦̥̙͆͗ͨ̃ͥ͛͗ the stands!
TURN 19
NOBLEJANOBII uses Sizzly Slide! And here tho̳̜̝̺̦̥̙͆͗ͨ̃ͥ͛͗se kids thought it was a water park and not a volcano death trap!
NEO EMOLGA uses Max Ooze! It B̤U̱ͫR̝̤̔̉N͌͛̿S̩͈ ̮̗̞Ă̇Ṇ̀Ḓ͌ ͓̼͉̍̅ͩSIZ̳͒ZLË̮̼́ͥS TḪ̝ͨͧE F͍̙L͖̪͍ͧ̓ͧE͋̋S͗ͭH ̙͓͇͆ͧ̀O͂F͖̄ ̥NOBL̲̼ͭ͋EJ̹͐A̩̪NOͧ͋̈BI̾I̦̘̻! (2/3)
TURN 20
NOBLEJANOBII uses De̼̗̯fog! But the smog over Shan̴̛͕̙͖͔͕̠̙̯̱̗̘͓̯̦̅ͩͬ͌̎ͭ̉̿̽̏̆ͫ̔ͪ͝ghai is too much for her to handle!
NEO EMOLGA uses Vacuum Wave! He causes everyone in the wave pool to̳̜̝̺̦̥̙͆͗ͨ̃ͥ͛͗ be sucked into a horrendous vortex!
TURN 21
NOBLEJANOBII uses Leaf Blade! And add on̴̛͕̙͖͔͕̠̙̯̱̗̘͓̯̦̅ͩͬ͌̎ͭ̉̿̽̏̆ͫ̔ͪ͝e more beheaded Bayleef to the pile!
NEO EMOLGA uses Trick-o̳̜̝̺̦̥̙͆͗ͨ̃ͥ͛͗r-Treat! But he’s an idiot and doesn’t realize October is over.
TURN 22
NOBLEJANOBII uses Thunde̼̗̯r Wave! It causes N̈̃ͦE͖͈̙O E̠̤ͭ̆MṌL͙͖͖GͭA͍͙̻ ț̐o͌ͅ ̝̑Ć̋̏Ö̫̹̗́̓̒N̎ͩV̮̾U͛́LSE̟̬ͪͭ ̫̚W͓ͯ̋ͅIṰ̣̉̂Ḧ́ E͔ͪX̱̙̥T̑͒R̦͑EME ͇̣̉͌A̦̱͙GONYͥ̏!̜̱ͩ̍ (5/10)
NEO EMOLGA uses Knock Off! And now N͂̂̊O͙ͨBL̯̙̅̚Ēͪ͑JA͖͔ͭ̒N̙̯̗ͤ̊͑O̻B̗̏II’̱̑S̠͚̑͂ ͚̰ͤ͊B̂ͯ̅Ê͎H̻̄Ḛ̑A̼̯͖DE̠D ͮ̑́N̟O͊ͮGG͉̖̩̋̃ͧİ̬N J̩̰̠͌̂̾O̩̔I͎ͣNS͖̯̾̈ ͉̳THĔ̙̼̾ P͖̟͋̽̎ͅI̮͙L̞̣E̞̞͕͐̎ͤ! (4/3)
DECK OF MANY ZINGS DROP (60/100) – N̫̰O ̮̞̲DE̥͚͌͑C̏͂ͨK F͕̖O̳̹͗͑ͦͅR Ẏ̜͚̇Oͣ͗ͤȖ͚̟̜ͧ͊, SC̬̲̥̈́̀ͩR͕̬̦͑̆̑U̝̮̠͌̋̈́B̮̝̯!͔̪͆̊
Wow, we̼̗̯ll done, Neo̳̜̝̺̦̥̙͆͗ͨ̃ͥ͛͗, yͧo̳͍ͫ͒uͫ̈́’ͤrḛ͙̖̐̋͛ ͅa͎̰͉ͦ̃̿ ̞͇ś̅adͭ͂i͛̎s͚̥̟͛ͪͫtiͪͩc̭̟ͤͤ ̩̦̠̉͋͛mon̽s͈̤̾ͪt̼͓̪̿̾͒ě͖r! You sure are good at making enemie̼̗̯s! Hope they do this to you too someday!
Anyway, ugh, you ge̼̗̯t your 1 EXP and…
- Devolve an̴̛͕̙͖͔͕̠̙̯̱̗̘͓̯̦̅ͩͬ͌̎ͭ̉̿̽̏̆ͫ̔ͪ͝d egg-murder either Noble or Slick.
- Devolve, e̝̪̼͈̘͇̤̜͕gg, and murder yourself for Evỏ̴̷̟͕̯̲̜̓̐̍ͤlution Crystals!
- Be even mo̳̜̝̺̦̥̙͆͗ͨ̃ͥ͛͗re sadistic and Whe̼̗̯el Noble!
- Or Wheel yourself if you’re feeling especially deran̴̛͕̙͖͔͕̠̙̯̱̗̘͓̯̦̅ͩͬ͌̎ͭ̉̿̽̏̆ͫ̔ͪ͝ged.
Decide̼̗̯ already! Ugh. Y̩͔̼̤͎̗o̲͇͔u͜ ͉͍̼̲̥s̮̫̱̙̪ͅi̦͎͈͖̣̣̲c͘k̲e҉̤̦͙n ̤̬͎̤̞͎̕m̧̼͔̟̯̩͇͙e̺̜.̺̣͙͇







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