BONUS - The Squawkers RPG!

The Stalkers RPG Parody


JUNO'S ROUTE

Spoiler:
STORY:

Juno was the first to arrive on the scene to discover things were way worse than he imagined and the Impulsers had already done a lot of damage. He requested help, but unfortunately, the only support he could get were Sonya and Kaxo as all the other members of the SSS are on vacation. Bad timing.

ROUTE:



PATH OF THE DAZZLING DIAMOND CHAIN

This small path is fairly easy. They really just need to annoy Jiblet the Chansey by spoiling the endings of all the movies she wants to see (Killjoy) or classic Browser History Hacking.

23 Jiblet the Chansey
|SSSJ| [Dazzling Diamond Chain]

PATH OF THE GOLDEN DESTINY MEDALLION

This starts with the Peeps needing to go to Bave and Duster's first, where one of the few non-candy machines still remaining is a crane game and there's a Golden Medallion in it. The crane game is a farce and the only way to get it out of there is to have a psychic Pokémon deal with it by telekinesis. The Peep's "Spidey Senses" will clue them in that there is some kind of ritual that can be done with it.

Meanwhile, the Destiny Ritual Instructions are at Medieval Crimes Dinner and Tournament as part of the gift shop. The Peeps can buy it there.

(20b) Bave and Duster's Arcade
|SSSJ| {Crane Game of Torment and Pain: +Psychic Type+}
[Golden Medallion: Destiny Ritual]

(25) Medieval Crimes Dinner and Tournament
|SSSJ| $[Destiny Ritual Instructions] 400 Snax$

Once the ritual is done, it becomes the [Golden Destiny Medallion]

PATH OF THE STARWATCHER ESSENCE

For this, the players need to find Sonya's Journal, which gives them both the [Mantra Instructions] and the [Apple of Enlightenment Sigil: <Hollywood Shenanigans>]. They also need the Globe Lawn Ornament, which can either be bought at Tal-Mart or found at Slippy Bleeps National Central City State Memorial Municipal Park. The Essence Creation can also only be done during a Night Cycle.

(9c) Bizney World Amusement Park Post-Apocalypseland: A Post-Nuclear Family Adventure!
|SSSJ| =Sonya's Journal Cover=
|SSSJ| =Sonya's Journal Pages 1 and 2=
|SSSJ| =Sonya's Journal Pages 3 and 4=
|SSSJ| [Mantra Instructions]
|SSSJ| [Apple of Enlightenment Sigil: <Hollywood Shenanigans>]

PATH OF THE APPLE OF ENLIGHTENMENT SIGIL

Just involves using <Hollywood Shenanigans> on the [Apple of Enlightenment Sigil: <Hollywood Shenanigans>].

PATH OF THE ENLIGHTENMENT BLESSING

Players can buy Fuji, Gala, and Ambrosia apples at Warget, but the label for turning them into Aspects won't appear until they find Sonya's journal. Until then, they're consumable.

(30d) Warget Food n' Grubz
|SSSJ| ~[Fuji Apple - GRASS (-1 Belly)]~ 100 Snax$]

(30d) Warget Food n' Grubz
|SSSJ| ~[Gala Apple - GRASS (-1 Belly)]~ 100 Snax$]

(30d) Warget Food n' Grubz
|SSSJ| ~[Ambrosia Apple - GRASS (-1 Belly)]~ 100 Snax$]

Getting all three of these as Aspects will cause them to self-assemble into the Enlightenment Blessing! And this causes everyone's Belly intake damage to go down by 3!

Once they have all the necessary parts, they all self assemble into the Starwatcher Amulet of Enlightenment, and this also causes the party's Belly and Cuteness stats to go down by 3.

MEETING JUNO

Freeing Juno from his apartment will make him very happy and he'll be more than happy to help the Peeps, who he'll be convinced are really the only ones capable of squashing the Squawkers.

(40a) Empire of the Immortal Warbeast Warriors Apartments Floors 1-5
|SSSJ| {Apartment 587: A Mysterious Emblem of the Starwatcher!}
=Meeting of Juno= + Intel

LORE LOCATIONS:

(31a) Slippy Bleeps National Central City State Memorial Municipal Park Funny Cheesy Bits Memorial Fountain + South Side

(28) Sleep Like a Corpse National Park

FONT:
Cup and Talon

GRAPHICS:


Journal of Juno Cover


Juno Journal Pages 1 and 2


Juno Journal Pages 3 and 4


Juno Journal Pages 5 and 6


Juno Memo Page


Journal of Sonya Cover


Journal of Sonya Pages 1 and 2


Journal of Sonya Pages 3 and 4


SONYA'S ROUTE

Spoiler:
STORY:

Sonya is a more clerical oracle Emolga and she's often trying to fix what the other Sky Squirrel Seers mess up (like Timmy). She's also more adept at being a Seer and she's often the sighing teacher that feels like she needs to hold others by the hand to get things done. She's often thinking "if you want something done right, well, you'd better do it yourself." She's not heartless and tries to be warm and friendly, but when the patience gets grinded down, this other side of her comes out.

POWERS:

Sonya is very skilled at making arcane relics, knows the magic of portals, and is very skilled in using runes, magic, arcane powers, and things of that nature. She's definitely one of the more adept Seers of the crew.

ROUTE:



Sonya's route is based on a similar setup that Kaxo's is. Both of these Seers have the supplies scattered as a backup entry for their own accessibility, though for the Peeps, it's serving as a test to see if they're skilled and knowledgeable enough to be the very ones the Seers need to handle the Squawkers while they're understaffed.

First, to get the run down on how Sonya's route works, Peeps will need the Artifact Creation Guide, which also gives them the URL product page for the online order they'll need for later.

(37e) Barnies and Nibbles Bookstore + Staryubucks Covfefe
|SSSS| =Artifact Creation Guide Cover=
|SSSS| =Artifact Creation Guide Pages 1 and 2=
|SSSS| =Artifact Creation Guide Pages 3 and 3=
|SSSS| [Flashy Arcane Aura Creator Product Page URL: Computer Setup AND 400 Snax AND Glamazon Prime Membership]

Getting the computer setup instantly fulfills the "Computer Setup" condition.

PATH OF THE EXTRA ARCANE MYSTERIOUS DISC OF POWER!

This is probably the easiest path out of the five components and just requires using the Memes Perky on the Knotted Lock at the Silly Slide of Rainbows building.

(27) SILLY SLIDE OF RAINBOWS OH MY OSHISHISHNESS YOU HAVE TO TRY THIS OUT Exterior
|SSSS| {Knotted Lock: <Memes>}
|SSSS| [Extra Arcane Mysterious Disc of Power!]

PATH OF THE SUPER ARCANE RODS OF MASSIVE HOLINESS!

To get the Rods, the Peeps will need to find Sneaky the Serviper and get him Rooty Beer and then use Hardcare Parkour on him because he ate too much Squawker junk. The Rooty Beer will want to get him to dance to the tune of Sneaky Snake by Tom T Hall. Rooty Beer can be purchased from a whole bunch of different locations.

(9a) Bizney World Amusement Park Yesterdayland: A Historical Adventure!
|SSSS| $[Rooty Beer - WATER (+1 Belly)] 200 Snax$

(10) Slick Flicks Movie Theater
|SSSS| $[Rooty Beer - WATER (+1 Belly)] 200 Snax$

(37d) Bouncing Bunny Shopping Mall Food Court Chicky-Filly-A
|SSSS| $[Rooty Beer - WATER (+1 Belly)] 200 Snax$

(23) Sprinkle Sprankle Community Park (CANDY)
|SSSS| {Sneaky the Serviper: <Hardcore Parkour> AND Thirsty for Rooty Beer}
|SSSS| [Super Arcane Rods of Massive Holiness]

PATH OF THE BONUS ARCANE RUNES OF TRANSCENDENCE

This path is just a tiny bit longer, which involves getting a Itsy Bitsy Pantry Key first, unlocking an apartment pantry, getting the cereal, and using the cereal to get the runes. Eating the cereal doesn't inflict Belly damage, makes them feel holy and angelic, and grants the Seinaru perk! Which is useless in this version. XD

Luckily the key and the apartment they need to use it in are both at Snippy Dee Condos

(38) Snippy Dee Condos Exterior
|SSSS| [Itsy Bitsy Pantry Key!]

(38b) Snippy Dee Condos Floors 6-10
|SSSS| {Locked Bitty Pantry: Itsy Bitsy Key Hole!}
|SSSS| ~[Utopia-Oh's Breakfast Cereal *Bonus Prize Inside!* (Grants Seinaru Perk)]~

(Using ~[Utopia-Oh's Breakfast Cereal *Bonus Prize Inside!* (Grants Seinaru Perk)]~
|SSSS| [Bonus Arcane Runes of Transcendence]

PATH OF THE SUPER AMAZING INNER DISC WITH GLOWING ARCANE WIRES AND LIGHTS!

This first involves getting the Sudoku puzzle at the outhouses, completing it, and then getting the 1st 3-digit combination and the second 3-digit combination to crack open the Dual-Locked Military Footlocker with more armor to survive the apocalypse.

(57) Beach Outhouses (CANDY)
|SSSS| =A Mysterious Sudoku Puzzle...?=
(Creates [First 3-Digit Combination] and [Second 3-Digit Combination] once Completed)

(40b) Empire of the Immortal Warbeast Warriors Apartments Floors 6-10
|SSSS| {Dual-Locked Military Footlocker That Can Survive the Apocalypse: First 3-Digit Lock AND Second 3-Digit Lock}
[Super Amazing Inner Disc With Glowing Wires and Lights!]
$2000 Snax$

PATH OF THE FLASHY ARCANE AURA CREATOR

Peeps will need at least one of the computer setups, $400 Snax, and the Glamazon Prime Membership, which they can get from either Zuul the Minccino or Chippy the Audino with Browser History Hacking.

3 Zuul the Minccino
|SSSS| [Glamazon Prime Membership]

10 Zuul the Minccino
|SSSS| [Glamazon Prime Membership]

IT ALL COMES TOGETHER

Once they have all five pieces, they assemble into the Awesomeness Transcendental Portal Arcane Artifact.

(54b) The Premium Artisan Luxury Prestigious Condos of Diamonds and Glamour Floors 6-10
|SSSS| {Transcendental Portal to the Arcane Realm: Required Awesomeness Transcendental Portal Arcane Artifact!}
=Meeting with Sonya=

FONT:
Zillunical

GRAPHICS:


Cover for Artifact Creation Guide


Artifact Creation Guide Pages 1 and 2


Artifact Creation Guide Pages 3 and 4


=Mysterious Sudoku Puzzle=


Sudoku Puzzle Solution




KAXO'S ROUTE

Spoiler:
STORY:

Kaxo is more of the secretive, covert operations Seer Emolga in this threesome team and actually kept some backup technology when Timmy screws up. Through no fault of his own, he ended up getting trapped in his Tickleboot outpost apartment when the Squawkers transformed it into gooey taffy, trapping him inside. It's impossible for him to get out on his own, so he needs a short range teleporter.

POWERS:

Kaxo is adept at using Seer skills and technology together. He's not really into using arcane books and all that journal stuff.

ROUTE:



Kaxo has the longest and toughest route in the game, but it's also the most rewarding and has plenty of Snax to earn at the end of each of the mini-routes.

This where they can find Kaxo's Electronic Distress Message:

(5b) Booplesnoot Sity Hall Floors 6-10

PATH OF DECRYPTED CODE #1

This first part is the easiest and doesn't require any special items. Just an Electric type and a Peep with Hollywood Shenanigans. The thing here is the Sniper Extreme Arcade Game at Bave and Dusters stopped working without power, but turning the game on (Electric Type) and mastering the game (with Hollywood Shenanigans) gives the Peeps the first of the codes.

(20b) Bave and Duster's Arcade
|SSSK| {Unpowered Sniper Extreme Game: +Electric Type+ AND <Hollywood Shenanigans>



PATH OF DECRYPTED CODE #2

This route is a little harder and requires more item collecting and even some Cuteness damage. But unlike the first code, this involves some extra monies.

(16) Tippy-Toes Park West Side
|SSSK| {Insane Tightly Secured Salsa Jar: Use of the Six Infnity Stones AND Use of the Seven Dragon Balls AND Use of the Triforce}
[|SSSK| ["Beep Beep I'm a Jeep" Jeep Key Fob]

(17b) Booplesnoot Sity Hall Floors 6-10
|SSSK| [The Six Infinity Stones]

(12d) Shut Up And Sleep Hotel - Whack Donald's
|SSSK| [The Seven Dragon Balls]

(4) Shinny Ping Bang Games Studios
|SSSK| [The Triforce]

----

Once they have the key, they need to take it to Kaxo's Jeep, which unfortunately has been overtaken by a lot of infectious flowers...

This also flows into the third mini route for the first of the Disguised Card Keys.

(5) Tickleboot Apartments Exterior
|SSSK| #{Extra Flowery Flower-Entangled Jeep: <Death Metal> AND Needs Jeep Key Fob to be Unlocked} Extra Fluffy Flower Power! - GRASS (+4 Overwhelming Cuteness)#
|SSSK| [Decrypted Code #2]
|SSSK| $1000 Snax$



PATH OF DECRYPTED CODE #3

This is definitely the longest and toughest mini-route to go through and has plenty of little challenges. It also crosses with mini-route #2 in terms of being connected with Kaxo's Jeep, which needs to be unlocked.

(27a) SILLY SLIDE OF RAINBOWS - RAINBOW SLIDES!!!!
|SSSK| [Hogfarts Care Package: <Memes>]
|SSSK| [Magic Wand of Levitation!]

(5) Tickleboot Apartments Exterior
|SSSK| #{Extra Flowery Flower-Entangled Jeep: <Death Metal> AND Needs Jeep Key Fob to be Unlocked} Extra Fluffy Flower Power! - GRASS (+4 Overwhelming Cuteness)#
|SSSK| {Void of Hopelessness Between the Car Seats: Levitation Magic Needed!}
|SSSK| [Disguised Card Key #1 Warget Rewards Card]

To get the second of the disguised card keys, they just need to use classic Browser History Hacking on Mooker the Slowbro.

57 Mooker the Slowbro: <Browser History Hacking>
|SSSK| [Disguised Card Key #2 $500 Snax$ Gift Card to Appleknee's]

It all comes togther...

(17c) Booplesnoot Sity Hall Floors 11-15
|SSSK| {Security Storage Vault: Card Key #1 AND Card Key #2}
|SSSK| [Decrypted Code #3]
|SSSK| $1500 Snax$



PATH OF SUPERCHARGER GIGA POWER CELL

This path is a little shorter, but has some heavy Belly and Cuteness risks.

(19) Wonker's Nuclear Weapons of Mass Destruction Chicken Exterior and Main Building
|SSSK| #{Blocked Hyper Cutesy Cake Room: <Death Metal> OR <Killjoy>] Extra Super Fluffy Yummy Cake and Cuteness Explosion! - NORMAL (+3 Belly, +3 Overwhelming Cuteness)
|SSSK| #[Janitor Supply Closet Key] Glittery Goo! - POISON (+2 Overwhelming Cuteness)#

(9) Bizney World Amusement Park Exterior
|SSSK| {Janitor Supply Closet: It needs a Janitor Supply Closet Key! What a Surprise!}
|SSSK| [Supercharger Giga Power Cell]
|SSSK| $1000 Snax$



PATH OF THE ENIGMATIC POWER CODEX UNIT

Finally, the last of the mini-routes! Here, the Peeps need to dress up like a mermaid and make their way through an apartment door that scans for that very specific criteria.

(24a) The Bibbity Bopple Bop Hotel Floors 1-5
|SSSK| %Staryu Hair Clip%

(50a) Sippy Side Sunny Shoreline Shiny Store Series - Slapstations Beach and Touristy Nonsense Store
|SSSK| $%Seashell Necklace (+1 MAX Overwhelming Cuteness)% 100 Snax$

(50a) Sippy Side Sunny Shoreline Shiny Store Series - Slapstations Beach and Touristy Nonsense Store
|SSSK| %Magical Mermaid Tail (Wearer become Water type)%

(64b) It's Better Down Where It's Wetter! Apartments Floors 5-8
|SSSK| {Locked Magical Mermaid Apartment Door: Needs to see a Staryu Hair Clip AND a Seashell Necklace AND a Magical Mermaid Tail}
|SSSK| [Lucky Apartment 777 Key!]

(42b) Cherry Bonkers Apartments Floors 6-10
|SSSK| {Locked Vacant Apartment 777: Lucky Apartment Key!}
|SSSK| [Enigmatic Power Codex Unit]
|SSSK| $1500 Snax$
|SSSK| %Thunderlock Blazeborne Colossus Razoraxe (+3 DMG)%

IT ALL COMES TOGETHER...

(31) Slippy Bleeps National Central City State Memorial Municipal Park Center Area Paths and Tree Stuff!
|SSSK| {Crypto Cache Secured Vault: Decrypted Code #1 AND Decrypted Code #2 AND Decrypted Code #3 AND Supercharger Giga Power Cell AND Enigmatic Power Codex Unit}
|SSSK| [Short-Range Teleport Displacer]
|SSSK| [Kaxo's Hidden Location Coordinates]

(5b) Tickleboot Apartments Floors 4-6
#{Overwhelmed Gooey Taffy Candy Apartment: Teleportation Device AND Location Coordinates} Very Gooey Delicious Taffy - FAIRY (+3 Belly, +2 Overwhelming Cuteness)
|SSSK| =Meeting With Kaxo=
|SSSK| $2000 Snax$

FONT:
Rane Insular

GRAPHICS:


Kaxo Distress Message Main Page


Distress Message Page 1


Distress Message Page 2