songfics

[Suicune's Fire]

I didn't realised you'd posted anything till today...or was it yesterday? I don't know. xD But one of the days.

I liked your story. It was one of those stories that left readers with a lot of questions, but they don't necessarily need answers. I'm not sure if you're going to continue that story, but I'd be interested to see where it headed were that the case. You have some grammatical errors, some of which (or the ones I can see xD) I'll list below.

£125 I spent on this outfit.

When talking numbers in stories, you need to write out the figure instead of writing the numbers. So this should be "One hundred-and-twenty pounds, I spent on this outfit" instead. x)

Take out the clotes, maybe throw in some food and some extra money, and then go and leave.

Yay, clotes! There should be a h in there. xD

I set the glass aside and looked in the cupboared.

Should be "cupboard."

Snapping it shut, I held it and tookone last look at Anisha.

*took one

The title of the thread should...perhaps have a capital. xD I mean...that's one of the fundamentals of writing. Capital letters. lel.

Anyway, the story sort of ended abruptly. I'm not sure what exactly happened. But anyway, it's interesting to see your interpretation of a song! Makes me want to try it too. x) I'll read the next one you post too! :D One little thing I'd advice is to space out your layout so that there's a space between all the new lines. That's probably personal preference, but it's always more inviting that way. And looks nice on the forum. xD

Good job and I hope to see more!


~SF.