[WAR] The Nature of Things

[Grassy_Aggron]

Interesting story, I must admit. I like the wild animal approach, and Donphan and Phanpy was a nice touch. That being said, I felt this was a bit too short, and I couldn't really get attached to the baby Phanpy. How does a Darmanitan take out an entire herd? I would have liked to know more on this.

This story has potential, and I would like to see it expanded upon, but I really feel the shortness here hampered the story rather than helped it. Now, you don't need to write a novel to tell a good story, but it's always important to put some character attachment into a story so the readers can feel the loss. The Donphan dying wasn't even really that sad, honestly. The emotion just wasn't there.

I encourage you to keep going, though, I can see you are on the right path and experimenting! I look forward to seeing what new stories you write <3