The "What do you look like? Thread"

**Suicune's Fire** · 01-15-2015, 02:47 AM

Hey, stop calling yourself ugly! :< There's nothing wrong with you! You're perfectly pretty. :] Good luck with your exams! 8D

**Noblejanobii** · 01-15-2015, 03:33 AM

Eh. It's easier to move on once you've accepted your flaws. In this way, I won't be worried about looking good to impress a guy. And thanks, so far I've only felt completely insecure about one of them.

**Corey** · 01-15-2015, 04:07 AM

Originally Posted by Noblejanobii

Eh. It's easier to move on once you've accepted your flaws. In this way, I won't be worried about looking good to impress a guy. And thanks, so far I've only felt completely insecure about one of them.

I didn't even see any acne in your picture! You're pretty and you're gonna like it. >:C

And yes, good luck on your exams! :D I have an AP Lang exam myself coming up this Spring!

**Suicune's Fire** · 01-15-2015, 04:08 AM

Why would you post anything at all if you feel insecure? :/ It's not a necessary thread to post in. Nobody's going to care if people don't post their pictures. Don't feel like you have to, because you don't. :) And just remember, we're all human. Appearance shouldn't matter on a forum anyway!

**Noblejanobii** · 01-15-2015, 04:18 AM

@Corey Yeah I noticed that too. It's there and it won't go away. It's all on my chin and forehead. I literally came trace out constellations in some places. Ok ok I surrender. And yeah, I do too. My only stumbling block is that I suck at reading comprehension which is like 75% of the test. Sooooooooo…
@Suicune's Fire I post because I feel better if I insult myself jokingly. I used to be bullied a lot and I found that if I just accepted what I knew to be a flaw then the insults didn't bother so much. Even though I'm not really bullied anymore it is hard to get out of that mindset when I've been in it since the first grade (aka 10 years). Plus I have found that if I disregard my own appearance i become more observant of others, not just their appearance but personality as well.

**Suicune's Fire** · 01-15-2015, 10:13 AM

@Noblejanobii I don't think it's okay to belittle yourself as a joke. =/ Or for any reason. It's so not necessary, and frankly it's uncomfortable to see. I'd much rather you be stuck-up than be self-ridiculing. Do you know what's attractive? Not looks, not figure...confidence. Honestly, it wins every time. I look up to all sorts of people who harbour a lot of confidence because it's sexy. Not only that, but it's positive.

Someone I know went to school with a boy who was apparently really attractive. The girl he was dating? Someone who was overweight and not that pretty. When asked why he was dating her, he said that it was because she was VERY confident, despite social norms that were put onto her by everyone else. The key isn't to make yourself someone you're not--it's to embrace who you are. And trust me, being a teenager DOESN'T help. I was very insecure even just three years ago, as a seventeen-year-old. But when I realised that there's no point in hating who you are, or being uncomfortable, I learned how to embrace it. I'm more confident at the current point in my life than any other age I've been. I really hope you stop putting yourself down and realise there's no reason to do it; all you're doing is harming yourself and potentially those around you. I'm sure your loved ones would be horrified to hear you deriding yourself like that.

And yes, it's hard to get out of that mindset. It's a process you have to go through. I hope other people read this post and realise that THEY don't have to put themselves down either. Love yourself, because others do. :] And everyone here on the forum doesn't, shouldn't and won't care about people's appearances. Do you honestly think I'd care more about your appearance than your writing ability? When I read your stories, do you reckon I'd be thinking about what you look like? No. Because I don't care. xD And neither should anyone else. x3 And if they do, smack them.

Confidence takes time. I'm not saying "BE CONFIDENT NOW!" (although that would be great for all of us xD) but honestly, stop focusing on these so-called "flaws" and start recognising your inner beauty. :]

**[Desolate Divine]** · 01-15-2015, 11:06 AM

@Noblejanobii Take it from someone who has also suffered from a lot of bullying over the years. Being this negative, especially towards yourself, however much you may tell yourself it is a joke, is toxic. Negativity is like an acid that eats away at you until you can't see anything good any more.

For a year and a half I was pursuing a toxic relationship. At first it was all nice and happy, but slowly and slowly after things weren't working out the way I wanted them to, I started to blame myself little by little, because I couldn't bring myself to blame her. It started off with thoughts and comments about myself like what you have been making. However it got worse and worse, to the point where I hated myself, and when I knew things were never going to happen, I blamed myself for that.

What I am saying is that though it might seem harmless now to say these things, it really does affect you, little by little. The thing that stopped me from falling further and further? Finally being able to stand up and say no. To say it wasn't my fault things didn't work out. Even if I didn't believe it at first, after hanging my mindset, I am in a much better place than ever.

I'm not saying to be stupidly optimistic. I know people who would be smiling at someone who was pointing a gun to their head, and it drives me up the wall. I am saying to give yourself a break.

**Noblejanobii** · 01-15-2015, 12:29 PM

@Suicune's Fire @Comatose

You misunderstand. I am confident in myself which is why I insult myself because I don't care. That is pretty much my way of saying I get it I'm not the sexiest person out there but I sure as Hell don't care if you think so. I'm usually a really positive person, when I'm not at home. What doesn't help me is the fact that my mother insults me 24/7. It's gotten to the point where I can't tell if she's joking or is she is being serious. Either way by insulting myself it allows me to just not react to what she says no matter what she calls me. It's a defense mechanism that I use to protect my confidence not get rid of it.

**Suicune's Fire** · 01-15-2015, 12:58 PM

Still though...I don't know if that's good or not. xD I'm glad you're confident. On this forum though, you don't need to criticise yourself! xD My point still stands.

**Hikikomori** · 01-15-2015, 08:00 PM

Not gonna lie, Suicune Fire's post really was an eye opener. I can be a pretty self deprecating guy, which I don't think is necessarily bad if you're going for humor. However like Noblejanobi I also tend to pick myself apart too much in front of others. I knew it was a bad habit for my own self esteem, but I never thought about the way it affected others until I read through these last couple of pages. I know now more than ever that I need to work on my insecurities instead of projecting them onto others so often. I'm not judging you Noblejanobi, I feel like we can relate in many ways.