Pika Pika Picnic - [Comedy] [PG-13: Crude Humor]

[Redlark]

As I sit here still waiting for WMM to save part 2 of one of my videos, I might as well edit and post chapter 2.

Enjoy!

Fun Fact: For those who didn't get the reference, Karen of Mineral Town is from the GBA game title, "Harvest Moon: Friends of Mineral Town." She also shows up throughout the Harvest Moon series from time to time.

Chapter 2: A Warm Frosty Morning

It was a frosty winter day, and Karen had baked a small cake for the local farmer that she somewhat adored, Cecil.

Karen was a pretty girl, with dark blonde hair and deep enchanting green eyes. Cute, but simple facial features; she wore a plain white shirt, a purple sleeveless denim over-shirt, and short blue jeans.

Wrapped up in a red wool scarf with purple wool mittens on her hands, Karen smiled as she walked through the streets of Mineral Town carrying a wicker basket with her warm, freshly baked cake. For some strange reason, the cake smelled slightly of fish.

She could see her breath in the air, and on her mouth lingered the scent of strong Jack Daniels.

Possibly a little buzzed, she knew it was the start of a good day.

On the edge of town, she noticed smoke coming from behind some trees just off the road. Puzzled, and thinking there was a fire, Karen walked towards the smoke; she also could've sworn there was the smell of sulfur in the air.

Now it's not that Karen would see weird things everyday, causing her to be fully conditioned to evil space demons created by a lost civilization as the survivors found safety through a portal/ark to Mars; or dark mages that could raise hordes of zombies; or even the everyday strolling dwarf with the sparkle of gold lust in his crazy Caribbean eyes. On the contrary, Karen only knew the simple small town life and was a dedicated helper to her father's general store.

Perhaps it was the excess of wine that morning that kept her calm in the situation, one could never know for sure.

Instead of a fire, Karen was surprised to see a large ten foot gash in the ground that led to a cave. There was smoke coming from the cave, and every so often a flame would fly out of the hole in the ground. The girl standing in front of the simple portal to Hell was Charon (ie. Misty, the Water Pokemon Trainer).

Charon stood there with a blank smile starring at Karen.

Karen's mouth slightly dropped as her seldom sober self came around.

"Karen," Charon asked.

"Yes?" Karen replied.

"You know. You've got a similar name as mine?"

"Sure. I baked a cake."

"You're invited to a great tournament in Hell."

"I am?," Karen asked inquisitively.

"Yes. If you win, you get a trophy. And a free pass to come stay at our resort any time you'd like-"

Karen interrupted, "What if I lose?"

Charon frowned with a sigh, "actually nothing happens. We give you a participation ribbon. Nothing very eternal really."

"But if you win," Charon continued happily. "You also get a free Winnebago!"

At that moment, the theme from the "Price is Right" began playing faintly. It seemed to be coming from the portal to Hell.

"That's great! Count me in," Karen said. "Just let me deliver this cake and I'll be on my way."

"Sure," smiled the quirky redheaded gatekeeper of Hell.

Karen walked off to deliver her cake. At this moment, Bob Barker crawled out from the crack to Hell and asked Charon if there was a McDonald's nearby.

Charon declined.

* * * * *

Later in Pokemon Tower…

A line of monks followed each other one by one meditating their prayers to the lost souls of Pokemon that had passed on.

Unknowingly two floors above the serene moment, was a vigorous battle between Charon's Starmie and a powerful Gengar.

"Starmie! Bubblebeam!" she ordered fiercely. A fire burned brightly in Charon's eyes and she smiled.

The heavyset Starmie flexed it's arms, and from it's epicenter came a sparkling energy that bubbled out and hit the Gengar causing it to fly back into the side wall.

Gritting it's teeth, the dark black ghost slit it's eyes evilly and thrust it's hand forward, shooting out a dark bluish haze towards the starfish Pokemon.

With a quick spinning jump in the air, the Starmie evaded the ghost's attack as it flew through the air like a Frisbee disk. The Starmie landed on it's arms, with an order from it's trainer, it began rolling towards the Gengar and jumped above the black ghost and shot a wave of water at it. But with a quick rebound, the ghost lashed out it's long purple tongue, and wiped the Starmie with a slimy long kiss.

The Starmie fell to the ground and shuddered. Staggering for it's balance, the large Starfish Pokemon fell to the ground shivering. The lick caused the Starmie to become paralyzed with fear.

Calling back her Starmie with a red Pokeball, Charon threw out a weird looking Pokemon that looked like a white hairless bird with colorful spots. "Togetic, Go!"

The Togetic cried out a growl and starred at the Gengar maniacally giggling like Barney the Dinosaur.

With a command from Charon, the Togetic ran towards the Gengar and beamed out a strange wave of energy, throwing the ghost back several feet.

Charon grabbed an empty black Pokeball from her belt and threw it out towards the Gengar.

Disappearing in a bright white light, the Gengar gave up.

Walking down the stone stairways, out of Pokemon Tower into the streets of Violet Town, Charon found Karen in the local liquor store. Walking out with a couple bottles of wine and a pack of beer, Karen followed Charon to another large fiery gash in the ground that led to Hell.

On their way down, Charon explained the basics on Pokemon battling to Karen.

* * * * *

On Mt. Moon…

A large gathering of smiling Clefairy were all holding hands while singing and dancing happily with no cares in the world. In the center of the dance was a large cackling Clefable dancing with a Parasect the size of a sedan.

All the Clefairy laughed in the moonlight. It was a very beautiful and wonderful scene that would make children's dreams come true and poets write simple nothings that spoke of finding love in the simple things. Either that; it would inspire hippies in the heat of an acid trip.

Of course, this was all ruined when a fiery gash from Hell opened up in the side of the mountain and two dark Master Balls vacuumed the Clefable and Parasect in captivity.

As the chaos mellowed down, a baby Clefairy cried softly, mentally traumatized for life.

* * * * *

Somewhere in Oz…

A young girl from Kansas skipped down a yellow bricked road with her new found friend. A magical Scarecrow that could sing and dance. The duo were on their way to the famed capital of the Kingdom of Oz, The Emerald City. Which wasn't completely Emerald at all. But nobody really cared if more than half of the city was in fact Jade and Wheat Crackers.

The duo had recently come across a rusted Tin Woodman who had gotten caught in the rain. Oiling the immobile tin can to move once more, the Scarecrow and Dorothy found themselves being bombarded by the rambling, and unsurprisingly singing and dancing, putz.

"Oh Dorothy," the Tin Woodman babbled. "Oh how I wish I had a heart! I could love things endlessly and-"

Suddenly a fiery gash in the yellow brick road opened up and sucked the Tin Woodman in with a bright white light.

Dorothy and the Scarecrow had never been so scared in their lives…

And as the chaos mellowed down, a baby Clefairy cried softly, mentally traumatized for life.

* * * * *

On an elementary school stage, in the middle of a quiet American neighborhood…

A group of children stood on the stage reenacting a Christmas pageant.

The night had been a little rough as Snoopy, a white beagle with a black spot on his back danced on a boy named Schroeder's toy piano. Schroeder was playing a classic Vince Gauraldi jazz number, which all the kids on stage had fun listening and dancing to.

Quieting down his friends on stage, a boy named Linus began explaining the meaning of Christmas to the slightly misguided group of friends.

And at the end of connecting friends to family; love and honesty; the children became quiet as Linus recited Luke, chapter 2.

There was a hush among the kids, and not a creature was stirring, not even a-…

Until a gash from Hell broke open and sucked Linus into a Masterball.

All the children freaked out and screamed.

The only thing left on the stage where Linus had been standing was his security blanket.

And as the chaos mellowed down, a baby Clefairy cried softly, mentally traumatized for life.

[Redlark]

As I wait for the Nuzlocke to save, here's chapter 3. It's good stuff.

In story game for the reader:Can you figure out where Pikachu's other two roomates are from? Answer is at the end in a spoiler cover.

Fun Fact: This post was the last post of 2006. And even though it seems to slow down just a little from the past two, it took until about 2010 to finally write the ending to this story. Luckily, it was well worth the wait.

Chapter 3: The Great Escape Plan

It had been becoming a relatively good day, understanding the circumstances that Pikachu had currently found himself in. Trying to turn the television to Oprah, Pikachu found himself watching Pee-Wee's Playhouse instead.

The door of his room swung open violently, and in walked a tall, round-bellied, brown rabbit. He huffed and puffed heavily, stomping each foot angrily; looked at Pikachu with slight confusion, spun quickly around and cursed at Charon who was just now walking through the door.

Behind Charon walked in a red raptor looking dinosaur-thing with black spotty designs on his body. He had a solemn look on his face, and sighed as he walked in.

"Pikachu," Charon said. "These are your roommates." Giving the large rabbit-thing a hard shove, she dragged the dinosaur-raptor thing to her front.

"Get your bloody fu-"

"You don't know them, but their now your teammates in an upcoming tournament. So I advise you to get to know them."

"A what-what, contest? Is there money involved," the rabbit asked.

"Pika?"

"Don't ask, Pikachu," Charon said, waving her hand at the trio. Leaving, she shut the door with a slam, locking it behind her.

An awkward silence grew between the three. The large red dinosaur thing finally broke the silence and said, "My name's Guilmon. If the tournament is anything I think it is, I can fight. So if you two can't, I'll cover ya' the best I can. No promises though."

"Pika."

Guilmon looked over to the large fuzzy bunny thing.

"Oh. My name is Hare. Not like the hair on your head, but like the rabbit thing-a-ma-jig." A coy smile shot across his face, "I can sure as heck fight, so I'm sure I can cover the two of you with my eyes closed if things get too rough."

"Your turn."

"Pika pika, Pikachu."

"What'd he say," Hare blurted.

"Pika pika, Pikachu."

"He said, 'My name is, Pikachu.' "

"Pika."

" 'An Electric Mouse Pokemon.' "

"Wait what? How'd you decipher that gibberish?"

"I have no idea," Guilmon said, shrugging his shoulders.

"So, Yellow Rat?" Hare asked. "Where's the food?"

"Pika," Pikachu said, pointing at a mini-fridge in the corner. A small spark of electricity snapped at the tip of his whiskers.

"Ooo," Hare said sarcastically, waving his hands around his long ears. "So Yellow Rat is an Electric Yellow Rat. I guess we're saved now. Maybe we can defeat Hell now. What do you think Guilmon?"

"I'm not a part of this," Guilmon said, sitting down on one of the large beds to watch the TV. "Is this Aliens vs. Predator? No wait, It's Pee-Wee Herman."

Hare gave Pikachu a hard shove. Growling fiercely, Pikachu collected a large lightning bolt that threw Hare into the wall. Wincing in pain, Hare looked madly at Pikachu. Ruffling his hair with a bursting shiver that ran across his body, Hare gritted his teeth.

"That was kind of cool, Pikachu," Guilmon said in a bit of slight shock. "But you're killing the satellite reception."

"Not as cool as this," Hare said turning around. He pointed his small fluffy tail at Pikachu and ripped off a large belching, almost wet, fart.

"Oh you sick son-of-a-!"

"PIKA!"

The entire room was engulfed in a humid sweaty yellow cloud. "YeAh! You Like that foo'," Hare cackled.

Pikachu's eyes began to water as he fell to the ground, trying hard not to breath in the air. Hare jumped over to Pikachu and gave him a hard backslap.

"Nobody messes with Hare!"

"Enough," Guilmon roared. "Pepper Breath!"

"No! You Idiot!" Hare screamed.

Letting out a fiery shot from his jaws, Guilmon soon realized his mistake:

Pokedex Excerpt: Guilmon is a fire breathing dinosaur, far stronger than his predecessor, Agumon. Pepper Breath is a basic fire attack deriving from Agumon, the fire dinosaur. Hare is of the Fighting Type. Hare specializes in quick punches, kicks, and paralyzing flatulence. Two and two together: Flatulence and Fire, Bad… Bad, bad, bad. Wait… Computing… Computing… FATAL ERROR 283: Guilmon is not listed Pokemon. FATAL ERROR 405: Hare is not listed Pokemon. Pokedex will now reboot and self-destruct in ten seconds. This session has been brought to you by, Windows 95.

As the room ignited in a fiery inferno of combustible gas, the three roommates screamed like schoolgirls; along with Pee-Wee Herman who had just discovered the Secret Word of the Day.

* * * * *

Meanwhile, on an upper level of Hell was the ballroom. Most of the important representatives of the otherworld was there, including several random invitees who weren't connected with the inner workings of Hell at all. All the guests were sitting at small tables, enjoying their banquet dinners, conversing away about the latest movies, politics, and Chicago pork belly stocks.

In the large crowd, sat a somewhat confused Karen drinking her wine and nibbling on some Lunchables.

In front of the crowd was a large stage with beautiful art-deco curtains. Similar to the Ed Sullivan Theater, but instead of Paul Shaffer in the Corner with a Jazz Band, flames and demons cried in agony... It's not the same effect, but still quite pleasant for the more complacent guest. The curtains opened up revealing Charon standing in front of a large raffle cage with hundreds of little red ticket stubs inside.

Grabbing the microphone in front of her, Charon announced, "The raffle shall begin! And once everybody has their teams, the names will be randomly chosen for the tournament grid. And after that! The betting booths will open with up-to-date odds. Good Luck!"

The crowd applauded as the large raffle cage spun wildly. Coming to a stop, Charon opened a little door on the cage and pulled out a ticket stub.

"And the winner of the Pikachu Team… Two. Five. Seven. Four. Three. Three."

Raising her hand slowly, Karen found herself applauded by the ballroom crowd.

* * * * *

The three roommates sat in their room, semi-crisp from the ironic hellfire that had engulfed them earlier.

Guilmon and Pikachu were sitting on the bed discussing movies. While Hare was sitting in a chair watching TV and eating some burnt popcorn.

"Pika-Pee."

"Exactly," Guilmon replied. "I do believe that that movie had way too many sex scenes to be considered artistic."

"Pika-Poop."

"That too. It was definitely a failed attempt to be, what would you call it? Artsy-fartsy?"

The door unlocked, opening slowly, Karen walked in fully disregarding the charred remains of a once four-star hotel room from Hell. "I guess you guys are my team. You ready for the competition?"

"Sure. Popcorn?" Hare replied.

"No thank you."

"Pikachu."

"What did he say," Karen asked confused from Pikachu's response.

"Who knows? Only Guilmon can understand him. Oh, that's Guilmon, by the way. I'm Hare. Yellow Rat over there is Pikachu. Sure you don't want any popcorn? It's burnt."

"PIKA!"

"What's wrong with it," Karen asked.

"He doesn't like to be called, 'Yellow Rat,'" Guilmon said.

"So I call him Yellow Rat."

"Char-Char (*cough*), Pika-chu," Pikachu sneered.

"Okay," Karen said. "My name's Karen. Grab what you need, and let's go."

Walking out the door, Karen noticed an unusually auspicious path she didn't notice before. Pointing it out to the others, Pikachu made a small comment to Guilmon.

"What did he say," Karen asked.

"He said he wants to go down that way."

"Pika-Pika."

"It might be an exit."

Looking down the path, she noticed a sign that read, "Road to Paris Hilton."

Then suddenly Karen seemed to sober up…

…Why was she so submissive to the idea of going down to Hell to compete in some fighting tournament "of champions?" Was the participation ribbon really worth the risk? Why did her first competitor have a team consisting of a Singing Dancing Tin Woodman, Karl Marx, and head of cabbage? Was the first place fruit basket really that appealing?… Hell no.

"Let's get out of here," Karen said. "Let's try to get out of this hellhole."

The other three agreed happily.

Walking down the path, it soon turned into a hallway with many locked doors with small windows attached to them. The hall was set up in just the way that a passerby could see what was taking place. It was horrible looking inside each mini-window.

Hare concluded that each door led to a personal Hell. Not knowing how the physics behind each room worked though, the four found a security guard and asked.

The security was a brunette haired girl with thick glasses. Her name was Velma. "Simply explained my simpletons of simplicity. If you take mirrors, a flashlight, and a couple cotton swab q-tips, you can create alternate realities and illusions. Simple quantum mechanics," she explained.

"I should've known that," Guilmon said.

In Hell, Pikachu saw many horrors… Passing a Snorlax with insomnia trapped in a room with Cher's "Do You Believe?" playing continuously… A drooling Hypno tied to a chair watching re-runs of Mr. Bean. "Pi-pi-pika-pikman…," he said to Guilmon.

"Well, nobody said Hell was a holiday."

* * * * *

Meanwhile, back in a deeper circle of Hell; Charon sat patiently for Karen's team to register.

An hour passed, but no sign of Karen, Hare, Guilmon, or even… Especially, Pikachu.

Calling for her guards and minions, Charon went to Hades (who you may remember as Uncle Joey on Full House) and told him the situation.

Hades, being the rightful governor of Hell thought for a second. His forehead wrinkled as he thought deeply.

The crowd around him knew the look on his face, somebody was going to feel Hellfire at it's worst.

"What's he going to do? What's happening," somebody asked.

"I dunno' what's going on," a man in a yellow hat replied.

The crowd of competitors and demons began rustling even louder.

"This isn't good."

"Is the competition called off?"

"What the Hell's going on?"

"Elmo doesn't like it here."

The hunt for Pikachu was on…

Spoiler:

Guilmon is from Digimon; and Hare is from Monster Rancher.