The Last Poster Wins! [V9]

[The Nonexistent Tazz]

'That one boss,' huh? Oh boy. .~.

*SIVELOS prepares himself.*

*LC lays down some CANDY-RESISTANCE buffs onto everybody. They're pretty complex for normal resistance buffs; they not only reduce Candy damage, but also lower the potency of attacks from Candy-based enemies in general.*

*PSYCHOPATH WONKA has an ability in place that will instantly negate CANDY resistances of any and all varieties if he attacks you. That being said, he has not done this yet.*

*casts Nocturnal Ascension; party members land a crit after KO-ing something!*

*casts Insulin Injector; party members gain doubled resistance to CANDY!*

*summons a Phyto-Hydra, Level 4, five heads, Grass/Poison typing, has the ability to break down sugar aka candy*

*Again, PSYCHOPATH WONKA is slight infamous for making any attempt at exploiting his element of choice rather futile. Of course, he's more infamous for a certain buff he can grant. However, the critical buff is going to be good.*

*DIMENTIO attempts to warp the dimensions to nullify the possibility that CANDY-elemental attacks could even work, but alas, he fails! That's almost impossible even in normal circumstances, and the sheer CANDY elemental radiance emitting from the CANDYMEN, OOMPA-LOOMPAS, and PSYCHOPATH WONKA himself is too much to reject at once.*

Dimentio:...Well, I tried.

*PSYCHOPATH Wonka is looking at the PROMETHEAN KNIGHTS.*

PSYCHOPATH Wonka: I can't work with these...Hard Light constructs! UTTERLY-

Image: WONKA!!!

PSYCHOPATH Wonka: Alright alright, FINE! I'll work with the Archers! Gather around, I have buffs!

*The Archers either look extremely curious, extremely worried, or extremely excited. They all crowd around WONKA regardless, as buffs are buffs. For future reference, ARCHERS are all a type of d(a)emon and all are female. They're grown off of trees but look totally human, bar the pointy ears. This won't be discussed further.*

*PSYCHOPATH WONKA distributes his buff, AKA the OTHER reason why he's got the qualities to be THAT ONE BOSS-an incredible amount of SPIRAL SUCKERS, direct to the ARCHER's mouths. Anyone who's a real Homestuck buff will know exactly why this is a huge problem, but for those who aren't: SPIRAL SUCKERS are objects of the most concentrated sugary power possible, a CHERUBIC JUJU of unimaginable power, and are also the basis for extreme insanity. Any affected will think that 'solving your problems' means acting without inhibition, and will proceed to do just that for as long as possible, which can be a really long time sometimes. This also takes your powers and kicks them to overdrive, boosting all stats, but let's face facts, do you really want to be THAT insane for some power?!*

*The ARCHERS undero a phenomenal, frightening tranformation as they succumb to the peacebrith trance of the blahblahblah, gain excessively garish and bright clothes, some kind of candy item in their now-extremely colorful hair, candy-coated bows of absolute devastation, and are now 9010% more PEACHY, as they have fully engaged TRICKSTER MODE. This also means that they are no longer wielding the ARMS OF ATLAS, not like they'll NEED it to annihilate the defense-but they will if they wanted to get past door two, so there is that one benefit. The CANDYMEN, who are immune due to their class (or rather already ARE in Trickster Mode) have their stats skyrocket. If those HIVES were still around, he could have turned them too, as they weren't HARD-LIGHT CONSTRUCTS like the PROMETHEANS, so that could have been disastrous. The OOMPA-LOOMPAS further buff the already super-buffed TRICKSTER ARCHERS. The ARCHERS don't fire yet, they're too busy conversing among themselves about the 'LIMITLESS POSITIVES' of their new state and giggling like lunatics.*

Ominous: This is why I never summoned PSYCHOPATH Wonka while I was in charge of the dungeon.

Storm: What the...What...What is this?!

Velvetine: Overly-colorful lunatics.

Carcino: Lovely. Are...Are we going to turn crazy like them too?!

Tazz: We're a little too powerful to turn against our own will.

Jeremy: Well, that's one positive to this dreadful situation.

Ominous: Unless we're unconscious. Then they're free to turn us.

Jeremy:...Well, let's just try to not go unconscious then.

Rebecca: *Pointing at the TRICKSTER ARCHERS* You vile monstrosities shall not pass!

*The TRICKSTER ARCHERS just laugh and/or call you all uptight. Not really true, except in comparison.*

(This takes me back.)

*This narrator isn't going to ask for clarification as to why it takes the Author back.*

*Some kind of darkness swirls around Tazz...He's turning into DARK WRIT JUSTICE, which would be a considerable power boost. This is the part where you start bringing out your best, as if TAZZ is concerned enough to transform, it's probably in your best interests to bring out the biggest guns you have for a little firing practice.*

[brandon_g]

Nick Name: The Destroyer

*the Destroyer hops into the fray

[Sir Sivelos]

NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE AIN'T HAVING THIS *SIVELOS uses COPY ESSENCE DELUXE: SUPER ABILITY: ULTRA SWORD! A massive sword forms in SIVELOS's hands. This is the mighty super weapon, the Ultra Sword. The very one the star warrior Kirby used to vanquish the first Master Crown. However, he uses the Copy Essence Deluxe again to somehow DUEL-WIELD Ultra Swords! Using tech: AFTERIMAGE, he forms a bunch of clones of himself, all equally powerful, and equips them all with SUPER ABILITY ESSENCES. They include: Monster Flame, Flare Beam, Snow Bowl, and Grand Hammer. SIVELOS himself jumps on the HYDRA, the famous AIR RIDE MACHINE of War. He charges it up. SIVELOS is ready and armed to the teeth!*

*MR. ICE and the END KING are as ready as can be. GALLIGATH summons several DRACONICORES, large bipedal monstrosities of fire, to aid in the battle.*

[The Nonexistent Tazz]

Nick Name: The Destroyer

*the Destroyer hops into the fray

*That is...Actually pretty bad, but whatever. It's alright in the grand scheme of things.*

*Welcome to this crazy RP thing that takes place in LPW9. If you've been paying attention, you'd have noticed that you are currently a STONE WALL who's weaknesses include CANDY ELEMENT, fighting RIDICULOUSLY STRONG CANDY ELEMENTALS. Not the best timing in the world, but better something than nothing, eh? Ominous throws you GUANTLETS OF THE PUGILIST, giving you a boost to your ability to punch things really hard! You're really going to need it. Rebecca throws you a Scroll for the BLAZE OF GLORY technique, which gives you access to a powerful white fire that builds AGGRO like no tomorrow! You will ALSO need that!*

NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE AIN'T HAVING THIS *SIVELOS uses COPY ESSENCE DELUXE: SUPER ABILITY: ULTRA SWORD! A massive sword forms in SIVELOS's hands. This is the mighty super weapon, the Ultra Sword. The very one the star warrior Kirby used to vanquish the first Master Crown. However, he uses the Copy Essence Deluxe again to somehow DUEL-WIELD Ultra Swords! Using tech: AFTERIMAGE, he forms a bunch of clones of himself, all equally powerful, and equips them all with SUPER ABILITY ESSENCES. They include: Monster Flame, Flare Beam, Snow Bowl, and Grand Hammer. SIVELOS himself jumps on the HYDRA, the famous AIR RIDE MACHINE of War. He charges it up. SIVELOS is ready and armed to the teeth!*

*MR. ICE and the END KING are as ready as can be. GALLIGATH summons several DRACONICORES, large bipedal monstrosities of fire, to aid in the battle.*

*You gear yourself to the nines, armed and fierce. THIS is going to be a brutal fight and you know it.*

*TAZZ completes the transformation to DARK WRIT JUSTICE!*

Justice: This is going to be a bad day for you lot...

Image: Hrmph, I'd expect this when the chips are against you. Overwhelming force to buy us time to look for our target...But of course. I dobut it WOULD have mattered, if we were SOONER...

*You can basically tell IMAGE is glaring at WONKA right now.*

Justice: Can it.

*The TRICKSTER ARCHERS fire! And let it now be known that getting hit by those arrows is a very painful experience. The Front line is basically decimated, and you barely kill a few of them. As it stands, brute-forcing this isn't going to work.*

Justice: Our best bet is to kill the PSYCHOPATH Oompa-Loompas first, then go after Wonka, then kill the Candymen, then finally the Trickster Archers. It's just one big cycle of buff, but they're the weakest link. We've got to break it!

PSYCHOPATH Wonka: HOW DARE YOU IMMEDIATELY FIGURE OUT HOW TO-

Justice: I've raided the Wonka Death Factories before! Don't you remember me shoving an axe in your face while calling you [REDACTED]?!

PSYCHOPATH Wonka: I get loads of axes in my face while being called [REDACTED]!

[Sir Sivelos]

WHEEEEEEEE *SIVELOS shows why the HYDRA is feared as the Air Ride Machine of War. It blasts forward, ramming several PSYCHOPATH OOMPA-LOOMPAs, whilst SIVELOS slashes with his two ULTRA SWORDS. The deadly combo destroys the OOMPA-LOOMPAs within range. SIVELOS charges around at speeds to fast to track, dealing crazy damage with the ULTRA SWORDS and the raw power of the HYDRA.*

[Bulbasaur]

Bulbasaur: How can I attempt transformation again?

[Sir Sivelos]

*SIVELOS is having too much fun slicing up / impaling OOMPA-LOOMPAs on the tip of the HYDRA's horn to hear you. The other SIVELOSes follow suit by attacking the OOMPA-LOOMPAs and CANDYMEN with the SUPER ABILITY WEAPONS.*

[brandon_g]

*Hops on top of Sir sivelos... and punches him in the face!

[Sir Sivelos]

*DESTROYER cannot do that! He can't keep up with the hypersonic speeds the HYDRA is moving at. He does, however, get struck by a SIVELOS clone as payback for attempting to hit a TEAM MEMBER. The attack one shots him because of the sheer difference of power between him and DESTROYER. DESTROYER respawns. YOU'RE NOT FIGHTING THEM! ATTACK PSYCHOPATHIC WONKA!*

[brandon_g]

*The destroyer then whips up a fire storm and sends it at Sir sivelos!