The Last Poster Wins! [V9]

[Wander]

wHAT KIND OF FRESH CORPSE NOW IM INTERESTED

[legendary_addict]

Fresh................corpse???

[The Nonexistent Tazz]

((College: Be a pain in the rear. Actually expect actual lag on these updates more often now.))

*shadow kicks everyone with their retrieved loot to the next area*

*There is no next area! Instance cleared!*

Oh, we'll go, alright… BUT NOT BEFORE I SHIFT INTO MAXIMUM OVERDRIVE! …Oh, this doesn't… Nevermind. Just hold onto your hats! *SIVELOS activates the LUDICROUS SPEED option. LUDICROUS SPEED, GO!*

*APOPH calms down.*

Apoph: Guh… Remind me to shove my flail down his throat next time we meet.

*You activaet LUDICROUS SPEED...Except, as the guy chasing you is IMAGE, this is utterly pointless. You've pissed him off, but he can't quickly jump to a SUPERDIMENSION. Otherwise, he's faster than your ship. Your escape is impossible until you get out. Thankfully, the ship has a DAED.*

Hey look. Narrator guy says you're doing well.
Agnes: Oh. Cool. I thought I couldn't do anything to it looking at how beast it looks. *looks at Lava Deity and continues Blizzaga Spam*
Nice. Keep spamming the Blizzaga. Dunno how much more you need to do to win against it but meh.
Agnes: Yee. I know. *continues spamming. This feels like me spamming Susano-o in BD. But weaker spams.* Also, why are people running?
IDK but as soon as you defeat this guy you have to ask it to take you wherever people are going.
Agnes: Okay. Sure. I wish I can use Zisudra's Sin on this guy though. That would make things a lot easier.
Where's the challenge in that?
Agnes: It's. Uh. How...the Lava Deity can withstand the force of Zisudra...? Maybe?
Ehh. Okay then.

*Despite the instance officially ending, the LAVA DEITY is a separate target. To speed this up, however, you land a BRUTAL AFFRONT and instantly get him KO'd. As a summoner, you absorb a bit of his essence in his unconscious state-assuming you keep him (to SIVELOS'es detriment) you will be able to summon this guy at any time. By the way, his name is FRALUS.*

Save your energy, LA. The foe is dead and we don't want the boss to arrive. (Although should I reveal to everyone that I had actually exchanged the organs for some unicorn steak?)

*What organs?*

I wonder how the others are doing.

---Meanwhile…--

Light Chaos: So… got any 8's?

Nightmare: Go fish.

*The camera zooms out to reveal the two sitting on a large pile of L00T. It looks like they went on a dungeon run while you were gone.*

---

Probably nothing important.

*Meanwhile, TAZZ is bartering with shopkeepers.*

Tazz: [DATA EXPUNGED] YOU TOO! HAZARLON'S LEFT KIDNEY IS WORTH TWELVE OF THOSE [REDACTED] JAVELIN CLASSES!

*We'll leave him be. Rebecca is contemplating her BLACK ROSE KEY.*

Rebecca:...

*OMINOUS is kind of just wandering around in the laboratories of your main ship, which, for future reference, is the BRONZE COMPASS.*

*And lastly, we have CARCINO and JEREMY, discussing classes. CARCINO is steadily growing convinced that he has utterly lost his mind.*

Agnes: But I don't want to leave when I can't summon at least one Deity o3o
Also, where are people going anyway? I see so many people running away.

*You're technically not running-you're on a ship out of there.*

*You're fleeing - via stolen warship - from two huge armies of super powered lunatics more than capable of killing you all horribly.*

And I'm piloting it! *LUDICROUS SPEED has made a significant contribution to your escape attempt. All you have to do now is shake IMAGE off your tail and you're good as gold.*

*You need to activate the DAED and find the appopriate location to do so...Fortunately, it's not far, according to the map.*

haha ss almost won! actually 48 hours...thats way to long. Latio you should change it to 24 hours.

*Considering what people are currently staying here for, it is safe to say that it would be easier to just keep it the way it is. That, and I don't want a million of these.*

I would have won a while ago if it was 24 hours, friend. :P

PREPARE TO SEE MY NAME PAINT THE VICTORY WALL!

*You've already done that!*

Fresh................corpse???

*The above is only quoted because the rest descends into irrelevancy.*

*SIVELOS activates the DAED and gets the eff out of there! You fortutiously arrive closeby where you left. TAZZ is still bartering for ships, apparently, as none aside from the five you originally had are still there.*

*You can now safely open the casket...If that's even possible. Hopefully there isn't another dungeon to run to get it open.*

[Ganyu]

St. Valentine's organs. You know, the reason why we are being chased? (Though we've always been chased...)

Casket? What?

[Sir Sivelos]

FINALLY! *SIVELOS parks the ship, leaps away from the controls, and heads over to the COFFIN.*

Let's crack this sucker open. *SIVELOS attempts to open it with various magic techs.*

Apoph: Bluh...

---

Kami Lord's coffin, Ecrivain. It's the whole reason we're in this situation.

---

Also, by corpse, I mean whatever is left of whatever Pandora killed in the Cargo Hold.

*SIVELOS means the TURAHK.*

Yeah, the Tu- WAIT WHAT!?

WHY IS THERE A RAHKSHI IN THE CARGO HOLD!?

How did a Rahkshi get on a Legion's ship!? How did they get a Rahkshi!? THOSE SHOULDN'T EXIST!!

Apoph: What are you screaming about!? What's a rock-see?

It's Rahkshi… And a Rahkshi is a sign that the Legion has gotten far too strong for its own good. But how they got hold of one is beyond me… Argh, hold on, I need to think.

Apoph: I've never heard of a Rahkshi… Whatever. I'm sure they're not that big of a deal. *APOPH takes over SIVELOS's attempts to open KAMI LORD's coffin.*

[legendary_addict]

Agnes: Ohey Fralus. Hai dere.
This is how I win my games. I keep spamming things I know would do good damage o3o
Agnes: I can tell. Now I see people trying to open that coffin. Hopefully a deity can open it right?
I'm pretty sure a deity can open a coffin.
Agnes: Let's see. *sends a prayer to the deity and asks it to open a coffin, which probably made it wary of our actions because why would you open a coffin? .3.*

[Sir Sivelos]

Apoph: We need to revive the person who is in the coffin. Uh... corpse, rather.

*SIVELOS is ranting about something.*

HAAAAARGH--

*To be specific, the person (or corpse) in question is the one and only KAMI LORD, master of the Lords. He, along with a bunch of other things, was created by SIVELOS for... some purpose. KAMI LORD was killed by his second-in-command, the now deceased LIGHTNING LORD, in order to prevent an invading demon army from capturing him. It may seem radical, yes, but KAMI LORD possesses immense foresight, so he had to have a reason. Whatever the reason is is yet to be seen.*

[The Nonexistent Tazz]

St. Valentine's organs. You know, the reason why we are being chased? (Though we've always been chased...)

Casket? What?

*ST. VALENTINE'S ORGANS are not the reason you are being chased! And you are currently not being chased!*

*KAMI LORD'S COFFIN. You know, the ACTUAL reason why you are being chased!*

FINALLY! *SIVELOS parks the ship, leaps away from the controls, and heads over to the COFFIN.*

Let's crack this sucker open. *SIVELOS attempts to open it with various magic techs.*

Apoph: Bluh...

---

Kami Lord's coffin, Ecrivain. It's the whole reason we're in this situation.

---

Also, by corpse, I mean whatever is left of whatever Pandora killed in the Cargo Hold.

*SIVELOS means the TURAHK.*

Yeah, the Tu- WAIT WHAT!?

WHY IS THERE A RAHKSHI IN THE CARGO HOLD!?

How did a Rahkshi get on a Legion's ship!? How did they get a Rahkshi!? THOSE SHOULDN'T EXIST!!

Apoph: What are you screaming about!? What's a rock-see?

It's Rahkshi… And a Rahkshi is a sign that the Legion has gotten far too strong for its own good. But how they got hold of one is beyond me… Argh, hold on, I need to think.

Apoph: I've never heard of a Rahkshi… Whatever. I'm sure they're not that big of a deal. *APOPH takes over SIVELOS's attempts to open KAMI LORD's coffin.*

*Neither of your attempts work, but you DO recall the BRAILLE KEY. You don't see a Keyhole, but maybe it'll react somehow?*

Agnes: Ohey Fralus. Hai dere.
This is how I win my games. I keep spamming things I know would do good damage o3o
Agnes: I can tell. Now I see people trying to open that coffin. Hopefully a deity can open it right?
I'm pretty sure a deity can open a coffin.
Agnes: Let's see. *sends a prayer to the deity and asks it to open a coffin, which probably made it wary of our actions because why would you open a coffin? .3.*

*You can just call it up. FRALUS will obey you quite obediently. Once summoned, he will remain for the rest of the fight. However, there's no point, considering he's already here...And unconscious.*

Apoph: We need to revive the person who is in the coffin. Uh... corpse, rather.

*SIVELOS is ranting about something.*

HAAAAARGH--

*To be specific, the person (or corpse) in question is the one and only KAMI LORD, master of the Lords. He, along with a bunch of other things, was created by SIVELOS for... some purpose. KAMI LORD was killed by his second-in-command, the now deceased LIGHTNING LORD, in order to prevent an invading demon army from capturing him. It may seem radical, yes, but KAMI LORD possesses immense foresight, so he had to have a reason. Whatever the reason is is yet to be seen.*

*Well, you can at least attempt to use the BRAILLE KEY.*

[Sir Sivelos]

*SIVELOS momentarily pauses his rant and uses the BRAILLE KEY. Let's see what happens.*

[Ganyu]

Yay so this doesn't apply anymore~