The Last Poster Wins! [V9]

[Silverclaw]

"Fighter I guess" he said shyly

[Sir Sivelos]

…Could you be a bit more specific? Like, what stats do you specialize in? Physical offense and speed, I'm guessing?

[The Nonexistent Tazz]

((Welcome, Graystripe! Feel free to imagine up any class you deem remotely fitting. As 'Crazed The-Hydra Fangirl' is a legitimate class, so have at it. Once you've decided, well, just jump right on in.))

*You have hired the Black Earth! Two figures teleport close to the nearest Teleport Anchor.*

*The Testificate is clad in grey and brown material unidentifiable to you; the Human in some black metal also unidentifiable to you. The Testificate wields a sword often in the hands of adventurers and mercenaries your class and level; the Human wields a mace of somewhat better quality, with a pistol in the holster.*

Testificate: Thank goodness! Bolding our mercenary title worked, Carcino! Oh, hello there, we're the Black Earth, yes. We'll work as long as you need us to.

*Wow. The name was made bold on purpose to grab your attention.*

Carcino (The Human):...What's that? *He's pointing outside the door to the amassing army*

Tazz:...Congratulations! You are now officially part of the last defense of existence! Consider it an extremely high honor!

Carcino: WHAT?! Jeremy, what did you sign us up for?!

Jeremy (The Testificate):...Well, anyone on the Mercenary network can be hired by anyone, which is why I was reluctant to use it.

Carcino:...Augh! Out of a frying pan and into the fire!

Jeremy: Indeed...But, what is that?

Tazz: A very very angry Tyrant Overlord named Nidhogg. He's...Well, he's not INVULNERABLE, we've done him in once, but his only weakness is to asphyxiation, and-

*Carcino and Jeremy both look like they've made a massive mistake.*

Tazz: We will basically pay out of our rear ends for this. Or should I just send you back-

*Carcino and Jeremy both look like that would be even worse.*

Carcino: Tyrant Overlord, dead, no problem!

Jeremy: Completely up our alley!

Tazz: I'm just going to assume that you are in well over your heads here, and admittedly, I think all of us are as well...But, it's either let it happen, or try to stop it. And trust us, Nidhogg's probably only topped in serious threat level by maybe a few other guys-

The Black: <They're coming! Wave 2 is coming! Get ready!>

Tazz: And that is our employer telling us to get on with it and get ready!

*Carcino and Jeremy have joined the defense! How effective they are remains to be seen, still. They may just not know the level difference here. The gun Carcino wields looks very formidable...*

*You have made no alterations to units in the time you had, so...Wave 2, Start!*

[Sir Sivelos]

((Wait, so Carcino and Jeremy are our mercenaries. And we're mercenaries of The Black... So that makes them a mercenary's mercenary. I'd make an Inception joke, but I'm just not feeling it, with the looming threat of reality blowing up.))

Let's do this. *SIVELOS draws his sword, the THUNDER EDGE.*

*LC hurriedly equips the PRIMORDIAL PLATEMAIL (he's wondering why he didn't earlier). Basically, LC the mighty Stone Wall has now evolved into a nigh-invulnerable Stone Wall. The PRIMORDIAL PLATEMAIL belonged to THE original Chaos, so it's bound to be quite overpowered. As a reminder, he had this deep in the depths of his inventory. He just came across it recently.*

[Wander]

ITS A KITTYYYYYYYY

//PETS GREYSTRIPE

KITTYYY

Vos: Psst, we're in a middle of a new wave here-

KITTYYY

Vos: Hello-

KITTYYY

Vos: EXCUSE-

KITTYYYYYY

Kaon: *throws the SPARKEATER on top of WANDER*

AAAHH NO YOURE NOT A KITTY NOOOOOO-

Vos: It's not even attackin' you, calm down! Although I do admit sparkeaters are terrifying as frag.

Kaon: *calls the sparkeater off*

am i dead

Kaon: Unfortunately, no.

r00d

[Ganyu]

*slaps Wander*

*summons the Elite Ghouls; they unsheathe their kagunes, ready to strike*

[Sir Sivelos]

How can you do that, you're not even a physical entity? Oh, never mind, there are more important things to worry about. *SIVELOS attacks any enemies that have entered.*

[Ganyu]

*Whoever said ghosts cannot physically affect mortals, haven't been spirited away by me before.*

[Sir Sivelos]

*SIVELOS is a bit too busy defending reality to answer.*

((I can answer.))

*They can't hear you unless you get rid of those parentheses.*

((Right… Well, that's not what I'm intending to do. Look at what happened to the last self-insert! You sic'd Hydro Lord on them, which I didn't even intend.))

*Heheheh.*

((Whatever, not my problem at the moment… I still need to sort out that jazz.))

[The Nonexistent Tazz]

*LC ATTEMPTS to equip the PRIMORDIAL PLATEMAIL, but finds he cannot for various reasons. One, that would imply he's returned to TRUE CHAOS, as even with the power of one-size-fits-all gear, TRUE CHAOS has a unique class, and some gear (like the PRIMORDIAL PLATEMAIL) can only be eqiupped by TRUE CHAOS. Yes, he's got a unique class LIGHT CHAOS cannot access. Two, he does not actually have it to begin with. It must have been that DC got the break there. Alas.*

*The PSIONS and other enemy units storm in. Your WARRIORS and TANKS go to meet them up-close and personal, and the GRAND ARTILLERIES and SPELLSLINGERS do their thing from the back. NIDHOGG once again rushes into the room, armor alight this time, now sending out more PORE CANNON shots to basically gib everything. You're going to have to either put it out or work around the armor to defeat NIDHOGG for good.*

*Meanwhile, APOPH rushes to follow the instructions the Schematics have laid out in easy-to-follow detail. IT's not that they're hard to understand, it's just that there's a LOT of instructions.*