The Last Poster Wins! [V9]

[Sir Sivelos]

*YOU CAN ONLY SUMMON THINGS IN THE SAME SUPERDIMENSION YOU'RE IN WHICH - HEADS UP - NONE OF THEM ARE AT THE MOMENT. You'll have to find them first!*

*Also, APOPH uses GRAND SLAM! APOPH tackles FREEDOM, brother! Er… Ahem. Sorry. APOPH tackles FREEDOM with enough force to crack a diamond wall. Bam.*

[The Nonexistent Tazz]

*APOPH mutters and uses UNIQUETECH: SYSTEM CRASH! Shabang! Several planets and a sun are introduced to FREEDOM's cranium.*

*The TURAHK fidgets due to the SHADOW KRAATA, being some of the most notoriously annoying KRAATA of all, waking up and attempting to jumpstart its RAHKSHI armor. However, PANDORA did quite a number on it, so there threat of the TURAHK is now null. If you can salvage the RAHKSHI armor and SHADOW KRAATA, you might be able to figure out how they work and mass produce them as units, since RAHKSHI are infamously broken and overpowered. Obviously, you'll have to wait on this since you're fighting a seriously pissed off megalomaniac with fiery hair.*

*FREEDOM parries the blow and counters with a good old FLAMETHROWER! You may have used (or attempted to use) SYSTEM CRASH too much, and now they're starting to expect it!*

*The reason why it's kind of short-circuiting is because the SHADOW KRAATA is itself kind of dying from it. Swiftly. THe energies penetrates quite easily. PANDORA isn't the kind to worry about this kind of stuff!*

Agnes: Wait, I can summon any random being. Why have I never thought of that?
Because you were not trying hard enough. Also, keep checking if that Lava Deity pops out beneath you. Do your thing so you can summon him whenever you want, if you have the juice and energy to do it.
Agnes: Shush, I've played games like this before. I know what to do.
Also, keep your eyes glued to any deities on your Universal Map. I swear you missed a lot of them already.
Agnes: Do you not have faith in me? And now to try thiz random summoning out *stabs the ground with....whatever she used to cast the Black Magic*
Also, Wander, yes the Agnes with Tiz (still ship those two) Ringabel and Edea.
Agnes: So that's where you got my name from. So unoriginal.
Shush! I'm horrible at naming!

*The only thing on your Universal Map that is a deity is the aformentioned LAVA DEITY. Considering the accuracy of these things...*

*Now, are you actually going to do stuff? Freedom's ignoring you for now but he won't forever!*

I'll have you know that the protagonist of Homestuck is me. But it's okay; I understand you are just jealous. But there's really nothing to be jealous about for they didn't portray me with Dark Magic.

We should probably cover Bahamut's anal orifice.

*casts Shadow Barrier on Bahamut*

j

*You've done it now! RABID HOMESTUCK FANS immediately swarm the area, screw that the area in question is being shot at with almost every weapon known to man (and almost all weaponry known only to dolphins as well)! They are impossibly angry at your despoiling of their absolute favorite franchise and complete ignorance of what actually goes on inside! Even if you are dead correct, these guys aren't going to care due to your apparent lack of care! A few seem to insist you might be some person called ROSE LALONDE, but then realize you are clearly not her.*

(As a Moderator, I do not approve of any fancy workaround to saying [REDACTED]. Because of that, your barrier fails.)

*...You heard the Author! Barrier fails!*

Agnes and LA:Uhh...what is Homestuck about? We've never read it, and probably not planning on reading 6000 pages as people say.
How long has it been out?
Agnes: Ohey we said it at the same time. Remember that time when you and your friend said the two exact same sentence at the same time? That was amazing. This virtual same saying is nothing compared to that.
Heh, I still remember that. That was the best moment in my life before That 0.001 winning gap in Gran Turismo 4 with a Cadillac Cien o3o

*FREEDOM is eyeing you up for something nasty...*

*YOU CAN ONLY SUMMON THINGS IN THE SAME SUPERDIMENSION YOU'RE IN WHICH - HEADS UP - NONE OF THEM ARE AT THE MOMENT. You'll have to find them first!*

*Also, APOPH uses GRAND SLAM! APOPH tackles FREEDOM, brother! Er… Ahem. Sorry. APOPH tackles FREEDOM with enough force to crack a diamond wall. Bam.*

*You moron! Said LAVA DEITY IS, IN FACT, IN THIS SUPERDIMENSION, and indeed, on this very planet! In fact, in response to your ignorance on the subject, in addition to the aformentioned RABID HOMESTUCK FANS, the LAVA DEITY itself, a massive wolf, leaps aboard.*

Freedom: YES! YES! COME TO ME AND SLAY MY ENEMIES!!!

*The LAVA DEITY is kind of weirded out. The RABID HOMESTUCK FANS are too RABID to care.*

*Old traumas regarding massive quadrupedal lava monsters cut open badly, causing SIVELOS'es dodging to take a turn for the poor, littering the deck with holes! APOPH whiffs his attack!*

*Just in case it wasn't clear before: PANDORA takes the RASHAKI and literally incinerates it. It's ANNIHILATED, along with the SHADOW KRAATA within. Useless for research at this point, but dead beyond all chances of survival.*

*BAHAMUT uses THE BASTILLAE! BAHAMUT's bow suddenly turns into a massive ballistae, with what is effectively a pointed log for ammunition! He fires directly at FREEDOM, doing massive damage!*

*FREEDOM flings fire at everyone, dealing damage to all parties except the LAVA DEITY.*

*The RABID HOMESTUCK FANS immediately swarm ECRIVAIN and take him out! He has been slain and needs a respawn!*

*The LAVA DEITY gives a brief glance at ANGES, before deciding that APOPH is more threatening, then uses LAVA PLUME and hits everyone anyways!*

*So close to 48 hours, unless I am horribly mistaken.*

[Sir Sivelos]

((SO CLOSE… Only 3 hours or so!))

((Oh well.))

*APOPH uses SOVEREIGN'S SHIELD! Max defense buffs, yay.*

*SIVELOS mutters something under his breath.*

[Ganyu]

Workaround the word "butt"? Oops. And oh dear, so that's why they're called trolls, never thought they actually rabidly troll the "Internet".

*puts multiple copies of itself around Freedom and for good measure, places a realistic wax figurine of Rose Lalalawhoever to bait the trolls*

[Sir Sivelos]

((Ecrivain, don't screw us over.))

*APOPH uses UNIQUETECH: DESTRUENS LUX! APOPH extends his palm, and an orb of raw elemental energies coalesces into existence, glowing with a harsh light that makes it difficult to look at, similar to a star. APOPH turns to FREEDOM, and lets the attack loose; a massive torrent of raw power is rocketed FREEDOM-wards, striking him dead on! A bunch of types of damages, which by sheer dumb luck, do not include PYRGICK, are forcefully shoved down FREEDOM's throat. However, due to the instability of DESTRUENS LUX, it also deals recoil onto APOPH, knocking him into a wall. APOPH trips up, and can't act for the next turn. However, the damage of the attack is more than enough to compensate.*

*Shabbang.*

---Meanwhile---

Spoiler:

Taurus: It seems your 'sons' will never see the chance to prove themselves… Are you sure that the Rahkshi are up to the task?

???: Calm yourself, Grandmaster. The Rahkshi are strong enough to take on enemies of their caliber. But the energy wielding woman was not… planned for.

Taurus: Hmph. Your alliance with us has proved invaluable so far, but you must remember our goal.

???: Very well. I will hold up with my end of the bargain, and you hold up with yours.

Taurus: Of course.

[legendary_addict]

Agnes: I feel hot.
I think I know why. Look behind you.
Agnes: Ermagurd, is that the Lava Deity?
Well....what else could be really big and can burn things?
Agnes: Uhh. Lava?
But this guy is a Deity of Lava. LAVA.
Agnes: Shush. I knew that. Now how do I prove to this guy I'm worthy of summoning him to my aid again? Was it a contract or proof of strength? I don't know how you do it in here.
I don't know. Ask the narrator guy
Agnes: Psst, TnT. Do I accept some stuff he asks me to follow (like in Shakugan no Shana), or do I prove to him I'm worthy of summoning him by allowing him to, hopefully not, melt my body (like in Bravely Default) and forcing me to respawn?

[Sir Sivelos]

((I thought Freedom convinced him to fight us? I might just be being stupid.))

*APOPH is currently tripping up something fierce. Get back to him next turn.*

[legendary_addict]

Agnes: Oh, and why is this Freedom guy eyeing me in a creepy way...? Gahd, he IS a rapist ;^;
Kill him quickly then! We don't want a rapist to do what it does
Agnes: But I can't do anything without a Deity or anything. I'M useless ;^;

[The Nonexistent Tazz]

Workaround the word "butt"? Oops. And oh dear, so that's why they're called trolls, never thought they actually rabidly troll the "Internet".

*puts multiple copies of itself around Freedom and for good measure, places a realistic wax figurine of Rose Lalalawhoever to bait the trolls*

*You know exaclty what words you are trying to dodge and what other word that more cloesly represents. IN all hoensty, you already crossed the line. I will legitiatemly start infracting you if you keep daring me to do so, I'm keeping those words out of here.*

*You die again! And Again! You don't even get to do jack! The RABID HOMESTUCK FANS (who are coincidentally all human) will not disperse from killing you until an outside source conveniently provides humongous firepower to scatter you! Sadly, your constant state of death and respawning is preventing you from being the source, nor can you summon any aid because it's all back on the ship...Or any reliable aid!*

((Ecrivain, don't screw us over.))

*APOPH uses UNIQUETECH: DESTRUENS LUX! APOPH extends his palm, and an orb of raw elemental energies coalesces into existence, glowing with a harsh light that makes it difficult to look at, similar to a star. APOPH turns to FREEDOM, and lets the attack loose; a massive torrent of raw power is rocketed FREEDOM-wards, striking him dead on! A bunch of types of damages, which by sheer dumb luck, do not include PYRGICK, are forcefully shoved down FREEDOM's throat. However, due to the instability of DESTRUENS LUX, it also deals recoil onto APOPH, knocking him into a wall. APOPH trips up, and can't act for the next turn. However, the damage of the attack is more than enough to compensate.*

*Shabbang.*

---Meanwhile---

Spoiler:

Taurus: It seems your 'sons' will never see the chance to prove themselves… Are you sure that the Rahkshi are up to the task?

???: Calm yourself, Grandmaster. The Rahkshi are strong enough to take on enemies of their caliber. But the energy wielding woman was not… planned for.

Taurus: Hmph. Your alliance with us has proved invaluable so far, but you must remember our goal.

???: Very well. I will hold up with my end of the bargain, and you hold up with yours.

Taurus: Of course.

*In a complete coincidence, the only other thing that Freedom is completely immune to-TIME-was the only damage type. Yes, every damage type was TIME. You may want to jot that down.*

*Multi-elemental attacks on your lowest-luck party member is begging for disasters like this.*

Agnes: I feel hot.
I think I know why. Look behind you.
Agnes: Ermagurd, is that the Lava Deity?
Well....what else could be really big and can burn things?
Agnes: Uhh. Lava?
But this guy is a Deity of Lava. LAVA.
Agnes: Shush. I knew that. Now how do I prove to this guy I'm worthy of summoning him to my aid again? Was it a contract or proof of strength? I don't know how you do it in here.
I don't know. Ask the narrator guy
Agnes: Psst, TnT. Do I accept some stuff he asks me to follow (like in Shakugan no Shana), or do I prove to him I'm worthy of summoning him by allowing him to, hopefully not, melt my body (like in Bravely Default) and forcing me to respawn?

*You're going to have to beat him into submission. Quickly. Surviving isn't enough-you must legitimately beat this guy. You see, this is why you don't ever choose Summoner as the first class. Good thing you have proven spells that can actually damage this guy, otherwise you'd be in a similar position to ECRIVAIN.*

((I thought Freedom convinced him to fight us? I might just be being stupid.))

*APOPH is currently tripping up something fierce. Get back to him next turn.*

*FREEDOM did not convince the LAVA DEITY, in a complete coincidence he decided to challenge ANGES due to total ignorance of what's actually on her map.*

Agnes: Oh, and why is this Freedom guy eyeing me in a creepy way...? Gahd, he IS a rapist ;^;
Kill him quickly then! We don't want a rapist to do what it does
Agnes: But I can't do anything without a Deity or anything. I'M useless ;^;

*Didn't you already use SEVERAL DIFFERENT SPELLS with NO CONNECTION TO THESE GUYS WHATSOEVER?!*

*FREEDOM is still charging!*

*THE LAVA DEITY just HOWLS.*

*THE RABID HOMESTUCK FANS are still killing ECRIVAIN.*

*IMAGE ARRIVAL METER: 5/9*

*I must warn you that you really DO, and I REALLY mean REALLY DO, have to kill FREEDOM (at least) to get out of here and ditch the fleet's tail, otherwise they'll be able to follow you-and you really don't want that right now. By the way, you have actually broken through and are out of the RaGNaK Formation at this point. Isn't going to stop IMAGE from coming over here anyways and wrecking you. That's just another reason why not to do so-you are legitimately screwed if you wait too long here.*

[legendary_addict]

Agnes: Oh right. I forgot I used spells other than summoning. *uses Blizzaga on the Lava Deity, but probably didn't do anything to it*