The Last Poster Wins! [V9]

[The Nonexistent Tazz]

*APOPH just drinks a potion, gaining the ability to do things! APOPH morphs into the APOPHIS form and uses UNIQUETECH: FANGS OF APOPHIS! FREEDOM learns what its like to be food as APOPH chews him up for multiple types of damage.*

*Meanwhile, you hear banging as the TURAHK, who is now relevant, is bashing through the door. It'll still take a while for it to come up and see what's going on, but it's definitely going to come sooner or later.*

*In an unfortuante coincidence, all the damage types were all PYRGICK, meaning FREEDOM took no damage whatsoever. NOBODY SAID THEY HAD TO BE DIFFERENT.*

Considering that Homestuck is about me, I have every right to bash my own biography. Also I DIDN'T HIRE THOSE TROLLS. WHO DID? For that blame pushing I should get a recharge discount!

*You weren't even in the running for the guy who hired the trolls!*

*Homestuck is not your own biography, dummy.*

((Okay now you're just pulling this out of your spectral bottom.))

*Yeah. Pretty much.*

*Also, the TURAHK has bashed through around 50% of the door. Whatcha gonna do, whatcha gonna do, whatcha gonna do when they come for you...*

*PANDORA sighs and introduces the TURAHK to ARBITARIAN ENERGIES. Needless to say, the TURAKH is burning alive, worm and armor and all, while it uselessly winds up basically unconscious.*

As the best friend of the Homestuck maker, most /was/ pulled out from my spectral bottom and made into a fifth-tier budget comic/doodle/sketch thing.

*There is no way you know Andrew Hussie. If you knew Hussie you'd be summoning him to rain death and destruction.*

*You're just thriving off this anger, aren't you?*

*Also, how could you be friends with the magnificent Hussie himself? He is a deity far beyond our feeble existences. And his lips are the top exquisite lips in Existence, period.*

*Bingo.*

Thriving off primal emotions is just beneath me. You keep up!

I wonder how I made friends with him too. I regret that choice given that he has made me look like a horned satyr in rainbow vomit...

*drinks another Cure-All in advance*

*You're going to summon RABID HOMESTUCK FANBOYS if you keep up that conversation, and they serve no-one but HUSSIE. You're going to really regret that decision. Also, call the TROLLS a SATYR again and you will also regret the decision. They are HALF OF THE AntIvOId's CREW, YOUR ALLIES. It would be bad to get on their bad side, as a group they are definitely going to screw you over.*

*Well prepared to have rage shoved down your throat.*

*While you were uselessly mouthing off about HOMESTUCK...*

*FREEDOM uses his special UNIQUETECH: 101! Suddenly, APOPH and ECRIVAIN are both dragged into some white void room! Unspeakably painful tortures happen there, to the point where I cannot actually describe the happenings. You rematerialize severely hurt, ECRIVAIN slain and forced to respawn, and APOPH paralyzed and re-silenced, just in case I missed another potion drinking.*

*BAHAMUT uses LIBERATION, which heals your silence and paralysis AND prevents you from getting it again for a little while.*

FREEDOM: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUGH!!! THAT IS...THAT IS...THAT IS...UGLLLYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!

*IF FREEDOM could get any more enraged, he would. Sadly, he can't, so that's just his anger. You can bet who his next target is.*

*IMAGE ARRIVAL METER: 3/9. You know, he's going to utterly wreck you if he comes.*