Wow.

Thanks for the massive grammar lesson, while I haven't read through all of it extensively, I will definitely read through it at a more appropriate time. I will definitely be re-writing the prologue (for the third time) as the plot holes that you've pointed out, are while not that large, they are stupid and I could handle them a lot better. Like there are reasons behind why some of them seem to be weird, but there's a reason behind (most) of them.

Like for example, "Ursaring" for example never had a name. He's always just been called that. His friend on the other hand, to avoid complications, gave himself a name upon his evolution so as to avoid confusion. But how are people supposed to know that? They can't. I don't mention or hint at anything at all to that, and it actually just makes me feel so dumb. The other issue with a random Heatran just kind of chilling out in the middle of nowhere who *seemingly* has the ability to fly; same issue as before. Lack of explanation. I know why he's there, he was sent by Arceus to make sure all the humans got through the portal in time, and upon seeing them all making it to safety, starts "flying" up into the air. But he's not actually flying. What's really happening is that there's a portal leading to the "legendary" plane (Or so I'll refer to it as such for now) that is blocked out by the clouds that is sucking him up to it. It's like on the final episode of Digimon Tamers when all the digimon start getting sucked into the sky because they have to go back home to the Digital World.

But how the hell are people supposed to know either one of those things if I don't explain it?

The whole switch between first and third-person is just me being dumb and lazy and not reading through what I wrote the second time around.

I'll keep in mind to avoid referring to pokemon by real-animals. At the very least I'll do the honour of referring to them as "giant-bearlike pokemon" as I can see where you're coming from. It's akin to writing out the names of attacks directly, rather than describing them, or worse yet, having your characters actually call out their attacks as they use them... it can come across as a little on the cheesy side.

And finally, I'm really glad you critiqued me on the whole "Why explain what's already been said?" thing. I was thinking about it as I was nearing the end of writing chapter 2 and thought "Should I really be doing this? This seems stupid, but I don't do this when I talk to people in real life and I can't seem to get my point across to them then, how am I supposed to do it through text without the benefit of tone?" I never really wanted to have to "double-explain" everyone's dialogue, but I couldn't help but feel that if I didn't, a lot of people wouldn't be able to grasp the context behind what someone was saying. I see now that it's better to say "Screw it, if the reader doesn't get it, then either they're dumb for not understanding, I'm dumb for not wording it correctly, or we're both dumb period."

Any ways, like I said, I only skimmed through your whole spiel of ripping me apart on my use of commas and semicolons, but you can be sure I'll go be going through it, fixing chapter 1, fixing chapter 2 before I even publish it, re-writing the prologue, smacking myself in the face for letting myself get ripped on so badly, and then proceed with fixing any new mistakes I may have incurred in Chapter 1.

Don't feel guilty about my self-deprecating comments, that's just how I am and I'm only being somewhat serious when I say I'm going to beat myself over the head with a shoe. I'm somewhat of a perfectionist, so to have someone point out the million and one mistakes in my story, it hurts my pride. But I'll survive, and learn from it in the end, and it's critiques like yours that prevent me from making any more rookie and obvious grammar mistakes in the future, so with that, just know that I'm very grateful towards you for helping me out.

P.S. : The whole Heatran just being called "Heatran" thing is another one of those "There-is-a-reason-behind-it-but-I-don't-explain-it" is probably going to remain like that because to me anyway, it just seems like an obvious thing for legendaries to not have names. Hopefully I don't get any more people being bothered by that. Regardless, it's a fair point and at the very least could be used as a joke at some point in the story. Who knows.