From the Ashes

[LKWayvern]

Chapter 3

Eric looked at the other three Pokemon in Vibrant Garden with him.
“...So, how do we proceed?” the Scyther asked. “How many members do we have?”
Shaymin sighed, closing her eyes. “Let’s see… There’s Raider and Kai, of course… And you just joined… So that’s…” Shaymin opened her eyes again. “Five, including myself.”
“Five?” Eric asked, confused. “Then… who’s the fifth member?”
“Rosie. She’s a Cubone, on an away mission.”
“That doesn’t seem like very many Pokemon to fight a large amount like Team Reva seems to be…,” Eric mumbled.
“Well, Team Reva has only become hostile recently,” Shaymin explained. “Before they were very quiet. Most of the Pokemon in the Utopia region either don’t know of Team Reva, don’t feel threatened by them, or are waiting for someone else to deal with them because they are either too scared, or too lazy. We are the only Pokemon powerful and brave enough who are aware of Team Reva. Hence, why there are so few of us.”
“We all take turns on special missions to raise awareness of Team Reva and try to get more members for the Phoenix League,” Kai jumped in. “It’s Rosie’s turn right now, that’s why she isn’t here.”
Raider was looking Eric up and down. “Hmmm… Shaymin, don’t you think he’ll need some clothes?” the Roserade asked.
Eric frowned. Clothes? Pokemon almost never wore those. They were seen as only for humans. However, it was true that Kai and Raider were both wearing a few articles of clothing.
Reading his puzzled expression, Raider explained “Clothes can be useful, Eric. They can free up our hands while still providing the benefit of an item, they can be items themselves, they can even be armor, or a bag of some sort.”
Kai grabbed Eric’s hand, and Eric felt multiple Butterfree start swelling through his stomach. He tried to say something, but failed utterly as the Lopunny dragged him off.
“Come on, we’re going to get you a new look,” Kai told him, smiling. And to Eric, everything just seemed… right.
“...You can tell he has never encountered a Pokemon with the Cute Charm ability before,” Shaymin commented as Eric was dragged off. “Raider, why didn’t we find an item to counter Cute Charm’s effects before we let a male on the team?”
“Because we’re desperate for items, and I don’t think an item like that exists,” Raider replied. “Besides, it’s actually amusing to watch. And the future looks dark, so we need all the laughter we can find…”

After around thirty minutes, Eric emerged with a rather odd outfit.
First of all, wrapped around the soft part of his abdomen was an Expert Belt. In addition, he now had leather sheathes tied around his scythes, so that he would not accidentally injure one of his allies. The sheathes were tied onto his arms firmly, but in such a way that Eric could untie them quickly if he needed to suddenly fight.
Kai seemed rather disappointed by Eric’s choice in clothes. However, when Raider saw it she informed Eric of her approval.
Shaymin, however, looked rather serious. A Pidove was fidgeting near her. Upon noticing Eric, Shaymin looked his way.
“Eric, come here,” the Legendary Pokemon commanded.
The Scyther obeyed. Kai and Raider looked on curiously, as the Pidove continued fidgeting.
“Eric, it seems that Rosie has actually succeeded,” Shaymin stated. “She has found two young Eeveeloutions who are eager to join our team.”
“That’s great!” Kai said, happily.
“Unfortunately, they seem a bit… revenge-driven,” Shaymin sighed. “They’re joining us because they, too, are the only survivors of their entire Clan being kidnapped. However, they seem rather reluctant to leave their old home, and aren’t quite used to their powers right now, being newly evolved… She has requested assistance in getting both of them back to Vibrant Meadow. And I’ve decided that this mission will test quite nicely how you can manage things out in the field.” The Grass type turned to the Pidove. “Ren here will be your guide to Rosie’s current location. As for getting back, Rosie can guide you herself just fine. Now get together anything you wish to bring, and go.”

EricxKai will never happen. Eric was infatuated by Kai's Cute Charm the entire time. I am evil to my shippers.
I feel like FtA isn't as good writing as I used to do... If anyone wants to comment and give me some constructive criticism, I'd really like that...

[Kentucky Fried Torchic]

Plot and Characterization Focused

Chapter One
Right from the start, we have a nice bit of conflict between the two Scyther posted on guard duty for their clan. What is this clan? Who are these Scyther? Where are they? What kind of world is this? Right away you have all sorts of questions being raised to go with those raised by the prologue which is good. I love a story that makes me wonder things right out of the gate, so you've definitely captured my interest. Before we can get any world building though, there is an eruption of violence, Arkon is felled by what I assume to be a Kabutops and things don't look good for Eric when more hostile Pokemon appear. Just when things look bad, these Pokemon, (consisting of what I assume to be a Bastiodon, two Kabutops, an Aerodactyl, and maybe an Archeops?) flee under the assault of a mysterious attacker. The conflict seems to have resolved quickly enough, although the question remains, who were these Pokemon? Why were they attacking? Are they wild, animalistic minds, or something more cunning? The mysteries don't stop as a mysterious Roserade on a ledge knocks out our hero Eric with some kind of sleep powder, clouding her identity as friend or foe.

There are a lot of questions here, as I've already mentioned, and I like that, but there seems to be kind of a rush to get into the action. I assume that the answers to these questions will be revealed as the story continues, but for now, the immediate questions of who, when, where, and why are left up in the air in favor of some what. Starting off with a bang is a good way to seize the reader by the shoulders and pull them into your world, but it helps to have an idea of what that world is. Many stories use a character who's an outsider to help explore the world of the story, think Luke Skywalker or Harry Potter, but from this first chapter, especially the conversation between Arkon and Eric, it looks like our nominal hero is already cemented in his world and so he may be unlikely to provide much illumination on the subject of his Clan and the overall world that he lives in.

Chapter Two
Alright, so we're getting introduced to a lot of new characters with Kai the Lopunny, Raider the Roserade from earlier, and Shaymin. For some reason Kai knew Eric's name, which struck me as odd, but the whole group seemed very familiar with the Scyther, as if they were waiting for him or something along those lines.

With this chapter, the stakes are already getting raised immensely. Not only do we have some kind of necromancer Pokemon resurrecting Fossil Pokemon and plotting some evil ritual, but also Eric's entire clan has been decimated. I couldn't say it hit me that hard since I knew little about them, but your description of the Scyther's reaction to this news was enough to tug at my heartstrings. It seems like this story is rushing toward the action, but I would encourage you to slow down and smell the roses...and the lilacs, and the violets, and all of those other flowers. It seems like you've given a lot of thought to this plot, and its certainly shaping up to be an excellent one. But I feel like it detracts a bit from this grand story if the news that not only Kai had a trainer, but that there are trainers at all comes as a huge plot twist to me. Please, let us readers in on the whole world you've created. Without a good background, the news of a Clan being destroyed or a mysterious plot to do evil are vague ideas without concrete form. First comes understanding and knowledge, then comes the emotional connection to the characters that will make this story even more engaging.

Chapter Three
So, we finally get a name to our heroic group: the Phoenix League. Apt imagery for Pokemon who recruit their members from among the victims of Team Reva. Their small numbers do a wonderful job of conveying a true underdog status and I enjoyed the fact that the fact that these Pokemon wear articles of clothing is weird to Eric. It looks like I might be getting my wish for an outside character after all. Don't be afraid to have some exposition-laced dialogue. My favorite passages of your story so far have been the description of Nekra's plot and the brief discussion explaining the Phoenix League's use of clothing to Eric. I think you have a talent for taking what other authors might see as info dumps and portray them in a way that stays true to the character of the speakers and fills in some of the knowledge gaps I find myself suffering from.

As is necessary, it isn't enough for Eric to just join the underdog group, he has to go on a mission to prove himself first. I like the idea of revenge-obsessed Eevee evolutions and am really looking forward to experiencing them. My big question for this chapter is what is the status of human-Pokemon relations in this Utopia region? There appears to be humans and Eric is familiar with them despite being a wild Scyther living with a clan, but there seems to be no mention of any humans being aware of an evil Delphox using reanimated fossil Pokemon to destroy other Pokemon, or even any mention of the humans being unaware of such a threat. Are there just not enough humans in Utopia for them to matter? But how does Eric know about them then?

Spelling and Grammar Focused
I normally only nitpick when asked, so this is a little light as I was reading mostly for the story and had three chapters that I wanted to get through.

Chapter One

Spoiler:

“Look’s like a storm’s coming,” one said to the other.

"Look's" should be "Looks" here.

Arkon didn’t hesitate to hit is with another X-Scissor.

I assume "hit is" should be "hit it".

The Pokemon regarded Arkon with almost a bemused expression, before it raised it’s arms.

"raised it's arms" should be "raised its arms".

Then in a deadly Rockslide attack they all fell directly on top of the young Scyther.

If you're referring to the Pokemon move, as with X-Scissor, "Rockslide" should be "Rock Slide".

Eric lashed out his wings violently towards the Pokemon, and a Vacuum Wave shot out towards it. The Pokemon dodged nimbly aside, and bolted towards me.

I think that "me" should be something a little less first-person.

The shield one started charging up the hill, little pellets of something pinging off its’ faceplate.

"its'" doesn't need the apostrophe.

The others started dragging the scythe-Pokemon and Arkon away.

Since you use "shield Pokemon" in the next sentence, I think that "scythe-Pokemon" should be written as "scythe-Pokemon".

Eric ran swiftly and silently towards the shield Pokemon, hurling another Vacuum Wave at its’ soft, unprotected backside.

Again, "its'" shouldn't have an apostrophe.

Chapter Two

Spoiler:

The sunlight blinded him at first, but then as his eyes adjusted he saw the garden in all its’ glory.

Again, "its'" should be written without the apostrophe.

It looked a lot like a small white hedgehog with bushy green fur like overgrown grass covering its’ back, and dainty pink ears shaped similarly to five-petalled flowers.[/QUOTE]
"Its'" should lose the apostrophe again, and "petalled" should have only one "l".