King of the Hill!

[VeloJello]

I rocket out of our universe and crash into Steven Universe. I convince the trio of butt-kicking ladies known as the Crystal Gems that you're a threat to humanity, and you're promptly outfought and forced to run away. I sit back and enjoy a Cookie Cat on my Latio-free hill. The hill is now mine.

[The Nonexistent Tazz]

I unleash my almost-two day charged beam of absolute devastation to take back the hill, as your Crystal Gems (who clearly visited the Redundant Department of Redundancy at some point) are sent out of this universe into Steven universe by the force of the laser. You run like f*** at the sheer sight of the almightly blast of power, and I sit back and enjoy a Kit-Kat on my Velo-Free hill.

MY HILL!!!

[VeloJello]

However, I immediately begin pondering my sinister revenge the instant you dissed something from my beloved cartoon. I plot an ingenious attack that involves a Rube Goldberg device, some deadly neurotoxin, and a bag of Gummi Worms. Before I can launch this plan, however, the TvTropes Police arrest you for pulling a Deus ex Machina. Saving my super-gratuitously-brilliant scheme for another day, I take possession of the newly-vacant hill. The hill is now mine.

[The Nonexistent Tazz]

I HAD ABSTAINED FROM POSTING TWO WHOLE DAYS TO CHARGE MY LAZOR! HOW DARE YOU!!

...TvTropes Police let me leave early because of reasons related to Earthbound and IT'S technical Deus-Ex-Machina (the player of the game defeating the final boss rather than any in-game characters, being a technical Deus-Ex(tra)-Machina) being played brilliantly, and what I did not being a Deus-Ex-Machina at all because it took two days. I march up my hill, slam you halfway into the ground with my foot (which has previously sent tanks flying), and sit on your head, quickly eating a burrito and farting upon your head while I sit to KO you with noxious burrito gas.

MY HILL!!!

[VeloJello]

After I recover, I quickly phone the Grammar Police. They see your use of "it's" where it should have been "its" and take you away to Grammar Jail. The hill is now mine.

[The Nonexistent Tazz]

They let me out early due to me having to do a ridiculous amount of Grammar Nazi-ing of one Goldwynaut (who definitely was not all that with grammar). I then get a Machamp with a Power Band to use Close Combat on me while I use Counter (wearing a Focus Sash at full health, just in case), then quickly turn me around so I hit you instead for massive damage!!! You deface Mars from the force of the attack, I reclaim the hill.

[VeloJello]

As I sit on the edge of Mars, my star carpet reappears and sweeps me back down to Earth. It then forms a constellation that appears to be an ancient prophecy about how you must save the world from a terrible threat. You whisk away to embark on your quest, leaving your hill vacant. The hill is now mine.

[The Nonexistent Tazz]

After a ridiculously epic quest of epicness, which involved:
-a Cthulu (or whatever his name is) cloning machine
-every single f***ing character from Disgaea, generic or not, fused into some massive Disgaea...Thing...
-At least a million shocking plot twists
-cheese rolling
-Eon Sky
-somehow proving Chuck Norris is NOT invincible (it blew my MIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIND!!)
-learning how to do the flamingo with an octopus made of dynamite
- a Cthulu (or whatever his name is) cloning machine
-becoming a Magical Girl of the most ridiculously OP order for a few weeks (Super weight scale on TvTropes said ERROR (of seven), then blew up reality...I fixed it!)
-killing approximately 1,843,234,789 Audino archers riding Bibarel riding a Panzer with a laser beam,
-a gun that shot Prinnies (Exploding Demon Knife-Nut Penguins who say 'dood' as an obligation to their role)
-Kyubey turning into that Android Mascot for 384 hours and 43 seconds
-a Dr. Pepper boss monster who had a car key minigun
-copious use of the power of Dry-Erase Markers to erase some existences and then some
-a Cthulu (or whatever his name is) cloning machine
-the stealing of the ship of Flynn of Skylanders fame to cross an ocean of magma that wasn't in the Skylands at all
-a Elvis cloning machine
-weaponized Gatorade
-the single most epic moment involving animated gloves and chocolate bar wrapping of all time
-proving that cake is and is not a lie at the same time
-stealing Victiny's V-Wheel
-stealing things that shouldn't even be remotely possibl
-a popcorn pistol,
-a popcorn SMG
-a popcorn machine gun
-a popcorn minigun
-a popcorn sniper rifle
-a cornpop sniper rifle
-a popcorn bazooka
-a popcorn shotgun
-sealing a Divine Majin in my left-hand pinkey
-using the moe anthropomorphism of The XBOX 360 as a piece in a high-stakes game of microscopic checkers
-a rematch of said micriscopic chekers match
-me gaining an infinite amount of Mana through sheer existence
-making friends with Waterbenders on the NORTH Pole
-a really angry Mermaid Genie Robot Pirate Ninja Vampire Werewolf Wizard Warrior who eats bad cosplayers for breakfast and overly-large pencils for every other meal
-a Cthulu (or whatever his name is) cloning machine
-a Cthulu (or whatever his name is) cloning machine
-using all of New Zealand as a low-rank weapon
-Playing this "Makai Wars" Game that everyone's freaking out about for some reason
-witnessing the birth of a carnivorous nuclear death monster who enjoyed classical music before I killed it
-Figuring out what's underneath Zer0's helm
-Abusing the Vegan Police
-Playing hopstoctch with my good old pal Necros for the title of Tin Pin Slammer champion of the Tri-State Area
-eating a Platapus foot
-Watching the 31st person I ever saw in life becoming a superhero themed around sneezes and good-looking hats
-donning a fireproof asbestos suit and burning people as the Pyro for both sides of this RED/BLU conflict because why not?
-Defeating Goldwynaut the Ninja Lich guy
-Eating Giovanni and becoming his Nidoking
-Eating Giovanni's Nidoqueen
-a Cthulu (or whatever his name is) cloning machine
-way too much stuff to put in a list (what will get on here is about 1/1000000000000th of what was involved)
-3,944,572,460,825,825,715,115,087 people with spiky ears from this 'netherworld' place trying to take away the title of "Overlord," which I do not possess (or at least I am not aware of said possession), all of them now dead
-a Cthulu (or whatever his name is) cloning machine
-and a ridiculously hard quest of hardness that required ridiculously hard grinding of grinding...ness...To survive along with mind blowing tactics of the hyper-mind blowing variety

I come back and tell you this, and while I do so I remove the hill from the ground it lays on and put it in the North Pole, where MY Waterbending buddies are, and they shove you to the bottom of the pole, and shove a pole into your leg, while I have my hill.

MY HILL!!!

[VeloJello]

I laugh while reading that. The Laugh is so extreme that it exceeds The Giggles; it exceeds literally every kind of laughter that there ever has been or ever will be. It is so extreme that it sends the pole shooting out of my leg and propels me through the air. I hover in the upper stratosphere for a little while, before The Laugh spends itself somewhat and I gradually float back down to the ground. When I land, I find that not only am I on the hill - which The Laughter has relocated to its previous location - I'm the only conscious person there, as you've been KO'd by a random pole falling from the sky. Because I'm such a good friend, I have you sent to the hospital. The hill is now mine.

[The Nonexistent Tazz]

I shoot the Prinny Gun at you. Did I mention it was rapid fire? You get barraged with a barrage of Prinnies from within the HosPITol, knocking the hil and you to New Zealand, which, being my weapon, I use against you with extreme prejudice to slam you to the artics. You go help Polar bears you see in distress (who are too lazy to help you in exchange, and you know it), I keep my hill in New Zealand.

MY HILL!!!