King of the Hill!

[The Nonexistent Tazz]

And because crippling/killing (without immediately healing them afterwards, IE the HosPITol) is not allowed, you two didn't even get to do that: Time reverted to before Sonic shot me, and I deflected your bullet with the Bratwurst of +30000 attack, now aware where I would be shot. The bullet passes straight through Ecrivain because he's a Phantom, while you, as it turns out, just ran out of bullets.

I proceed to equip Sonic with Spiked Spectral Armor and kick him towards Ecrivain, and being that the armor is spectral, he gets stabbed with the spikes, and you both go tumbling downhill to the HosPITol, where the hyper-advanced healing techs and magicks are more than enough to heal you back from becoming vaporized. Meanwhile, I claim 1 hill, which is my hill.

MY HILL!!!

[The-Hydra]

I buy the hill from the landlord, And actually pay rent unlike the rest of you.

My well-earned hill.

[The Nonexistent Tazz]

...Isn't the hill in the freaking South Pole? I would question the sanity of the man who bought land there, expecting someone to rent it.

Ah, never mind. I'll solve this problem by tossing the hill to Hawaii while you're not on it (because it would be infuriating for all of us if we had to physically sit on the hill to claim it, so that's not the case). The hill is no longer where you rented land, leaving you a worthless piece of land who's rent is totally unreasonable considering the lack of hill, or really anything other than a s**tton of snow.

MY HILL!!!

[Sonic20]

((curses

i thought you would heal instantly off-planet

my logic has failed))

((edit:

i'm ninja'd

oh no))

I literally dig out of hawaii's sand somehow, and proceed to jump out wielding a massive iron fork. I proceed to summon Zomom of the deadly six, who grabs said fork and uses it to eat you. Therefore, you are not crippled, you are simply trapped. I take control of the hill.

[The Nonexistent Tazz]

Congratulations, you've killed the world's most idiotic Landlord, with a thread reading of 0 out of 10, ruling over a barren patch of land in the south pole that is currently worthless! That being said, I question the logic of how this would earn you the hill when its current location is in Hawaii.

I guess it's fair to say it is still...

MY HILL!!!

[Sonic20]

((i edited the post because you ninja'd me))

I proceed to copy and paste the previous post into real life, something like this:

I literally dig out of hawaii's sand somehow, and proceed to jump out wielding a massive iron fork. I proceed to summon Zomom of the deadly six, who grabs said fork and uses it to eat you. Therefore, you are not crippled, you are simply trapped. I take control of the hill.

[The Nonexistent Tazz]

I use Toxic on Zomom from within, causing him to puke me out. I proceed to lethally stab him with the fork (as the no killing rule doesn't apply to NPCs, savvy?) and then smash you off-world. You are now on some planet far, far, far away from the Milky Way Galaxy. Good luck getting back home.

Meanwhile, I reclaim the hill.

MY HILL!!!

[Sonic20]

Instant Transmission.

Literally right before you claim the hill, I proceed to warp right behind you, do a Brick Break on a pressure point, then fling you back in the exact same direction you sent me as revenge. And in the case you think of some way to get back, I summon that one really annoying tower from phineas and pherb that has a nearly un-breakable shield to surround the hill and protect it, even from teleportation.

[The Nonexistent Tazz]

As it turned out, you slammed me into that very same tower's top before summoning it, which, by proxy, summons me. You facepalm yourself, and in your moment of literal blindness, I proceed to use ANTIBLINDING ANTIMATTER BLAST!

*ULTRA-EFFECTIVE!! 100x DAMAGE MULTIPLIER!!*

*Total Damage: 94,525,342,705,561,203,457,157,092,475,014,513,400 !! KNOCKOUT BLOW!!*

While you are sent to the HosPITol to recover from your...Everything...I reclaim the hill in a triumphant and noble manner, and proceed to kick the tower to oblivion.

MY HILL!!!

[The-Hydra]

I don't read any of you people's ridiculously long posts for such a simple task, And sneakily swipe the hill.

My hill, And in only one sentence.