King of the Hill!

[Neo Emolga]

Suddenly materializes back into normal form Saturday morning cartoon style and shakes off the excess soot.

I then summon the ARMY OF GIANT 1,000 FOOT TALL SUPER ZETA-ROBOTS and OBLITERATE THE NONEXISTENT TAZZ's army of GRAMMAR NAZIS via TOTAL CARNAGE STORM of incessant LASER EXPLOSIONS. The GRAMMAR NAZIS are defeated and NEO EMOLGA earns 14,320 experience points. NEO EMOLGA has leveled up and has learned TITANCRASH METEOR OF MAYHEM.

I then attack THE NONEXISTENT TAZZ by pulling an enormous SUPER SLAPPY HAPPY FRYING PAN the size of a passenger jet out of HAMMERSPACE and then proceed whack him repeatedly with it, reducing him to PANCAKE BOY STATE after a generous session of enthusiastic whacking. I then pick up said PANCAKE BOY and then toss him like a frisbee so hard and so fast that he enters the Z DIMENSION, where he is poked incessantly by kindergarteners, hamsters, and Johnny Depp dressed as a CATTLE RANCHER.

I reclaim the hill and do a little dance, make a little love, and get down tonight.

[Steven_Six]

Then, a person, confused by what just happened, shoves the flying squirrel off the hill.


He then posts a guard of Starcraft Marines around the hill, and begins mining the Minerals from it.

ALL THE GEMS ARE BELONG TO ME

[Neo Emolga]

I get up from the ground, spy the platoon of Starcraft Marines camping on MY HILL, and use the magical spell of COTTONTAIL INCANTATION, which turns every last one of them into an adorable, harmless BUNNY. I then give them a map to find a plethora of carrots all the way in BUTTE, MONTANA and wave goodbye and farewell as they all go hopping away.

I turn to STEVEN_SIX and cast HYPERINFLATION on him, causing him to swell up like a giant balloon that goes floating away into the wild, blue yonder. I then wave goodbye to him, pull out a lawnchair, a margarita, and sunglasses out of hammerspace, and I kick back and relax to the tunes of Hawaiian luau music.

MY HILL.

[The Nonexistent Tazz]

A certain ZETTA gets semi-offended by the tangential existence of ZETA-ROBOTS. Despite there only being tangential relationship and being a letter off, he comes out of his murky NETHERWORLD and onto this plane of existence, feeling the only way to deal with this is through the application of his mythical EYE BEAMS.

ZETTA the DEMON OVERLORD promptly uses his ZETTA BEAM, sucking Neo Emolga and all related forces into a Pocket dimension roughly the size of his palm, then putting himself into another pocket dimension for reasons of security. once done, Neo promptly wonders what the heck is going on, because there is a complete and utter 0% presence of BEAMS. Of course, he is unable to see ZETTA, outside the pocket dimension, charging up his ZETTA BEAM in earnest.

This changes the instant ZETTA actually uses his ZETTA BEAM, causing the Pocket Dimension Zetta is holding to be obliterated, and the Pocket dimension he was in to be punctured, all the while the now-tiny victims evaporate.

The particles of NEO EMOLGA somehow land in HosPITal to be fully recovered, who have recently undergone a respelling to be MORE ACCURATE TO THE PUN. Meanwhile, ZETTA decides to go back to his realm after that because he doesn't really have any APPRECATION for THE HILL. As such, uncontested, I CLAIM THE HILL, warding off NEO EMOLGA's future attempts with my POWERFUL PSIONIC PREDICITON ABILITIES and an unrealistically large amount of KILLER BUNNIES, who are for some reason LOYAL TO MY COMMAND.

MY HILL AND SUCH.

[Steven_Six]

What? Steven realizes what a fix he's in, then realizes- he's got enough minerals and gas to turn into an Ultralisk!
So he does so, falling at inhuman speeds onto the nonexistent Tazz. This hurts. A lot. He died. Then, Steven uses the small amount of leftover Minerals to create drones, which make a hive, which starts spewing a LOT of Zerglings. Good luck with the Zerg Rush, boys...

[Neo Emolga]

I materialize using COSMIC FORCE POWER, and pull out my radio, calling in the MONSTERSTORM ALIEN MOTHERSHIP to attack THE NONEXISTENT TAZZ'S army of KILLER BUNNIES with the PULSAR DEATH CANNON, causing the large bunny army to melt into harmless, liquid forms. They trickle into a nearby sewer drain and everyone conveniently forgets they existed.

The MONSTERSTORM ALIEN MOTHERSHIP then zaps STEVEN_SIX'S Zerglings with a HEAT-DEATH LASER, frying them like ants under a magnifying glass. There is much rejoicing and a new international holiday is created in light of this event. The MONSTERSTORM ALIEN MOTHERSHIP then abducts the STEVEN_SIX ULTRALISK and transports him to CANDYLAND, where he is deposited into a vat of white chocolate, frozen, and then eaten by people who think eating chocolate-covered bugs is a delicacy.

I then summon my personal army of COLLOSUS BOTS and DEATH-BELCHER DRAGONS to defend the hill while I relax and enjoy some television.

MY HILL.

[The Nonexistent Tazz]

As Neo has forgotten about them, the LIQUID BUNNY ARMY rises again, this time in the form of the KILLER ULTRADEATH BLOB BUNNY MONSTER, who's handy SUPERLUNGS allow him to effortlessly suck in all of the COLOSSUS BOTS and DEATH-BELCHER DRAGONS, as well as NEO HIMSELF. The former two groups instantly die by the time they hit the stomach, while NEO EMOLGA somehow manages to survive long enough to escape the blobby inner workings. When he does, his current location is CHARON'S MAXIMUM SECURITY PRISON.

I then attack the RANDOM WORD EMPHASISER, obliterating it. With that done,

MY HILL!!!

[Brettles]

Brettles shows up and sells Tazz a map to an even bigger and better hill.

Tazz runs off to follow the map to the bigger and better hill, but soon finds that he has been tricked and is in the middle of a horrible stinky swamp!

Brettles claims the Hill after Tazz runs off!

MY HILL!

[Neo Emolga]

Aww, but I loved using that random word emphasiser!

I escape Charon's maximum security prison with my magical teleportation spell, because I'm the bestest wizard out there and on a level Charon would never suspect!

I then find Brettles on my hill, which is complete blasphemy. I then magically transform him into a pink elephant with a purple tutu, and force him to dance Swan Lake. I then summon a giant cherry pie to land on him, and then conjure a giant spatula to scoop up the elephant and cherry pie mess and fling it all the way to Mars. I then use my magic to clean the mess and make it look like nothing ever happened. I then go back to watching TV and sipping my margarita.

MY HILL.

[Brettles]

Brettles hacks into the source code of reality. The source code gives him the ability to change all of reality into whatever form he desires. This power can be used for great good! Brettles decides instead to use this power to steal back his hill.

Finding the source cose for the hill that Neo has claimed. He changes the code so that the hill is changed into a lake filled with hungry Sharpedos and watches as Neo falls in and gets eaten.

He then changes the land he is standing on into the hill and places a flag on it claiming it to be the hill of Brettles in perpetuity!

MY HILL!