King of the Hill!

[VeloJello]

I confiscate your Uber Blaster and bury it under a million pounds of concrete. Since you are now disarmed, I summon my velociraptor army and have them deposit you at the nearest bingo parlor. You are forced to play bingo forever, while I reign over the hill. The hill is now mine.

[The Nonexistent Tazz]

...I eat the entire Velociraptor Army, leave a duplicate of myself that's actually illusory to play Bingo, and come back, disguised masterfully as your entire Velociraptor Army. I then backstab you...All 100000000 or so of me...I think. You go get those knives out of your back and I'll go get my hill and Uber Blaster.

MY HILL!!!

[VeloJello]

Using the knives you so kindly gave me for free, I create a knife rain above the hill. You see it coming and run for cover, and when it's done I claim the hill for myself. The hill is now mine.

[The Nonexistent Tazz]

I use the incredibly nasty halitosis I got from eating all of the Velociraptor Army to breath unto you, making you collapse immediately. You're hauled to the HosPITol to recover from scent-based assault and I get a breath mint before reclaiming my hill.

MY HILL!!!

[VeloJello]

Little do you know that I spiked your breath mints with deadly neurotoxin. You're forced to seek out an antidote for the deadly neurotoxin, giving me an easy opportunity to reclaim the hill. The hill is now mine.

[The Nonexistent Tazz]

Being a Poison-Type, I am immune to ALL Deadly Neurotoxins! Or really, anything that's poisonous in general. You, forgetting this, do not realize that I've merely set up a decoy to fool you to try to take the hill I never left. I ambush you and use Toxic on you before you get close to the top-and it lands. You're too sick from all the subsequent puking to face me one on one, so you go to the nearest Pokemon Center, which is in Nowhere-near-the-hill-ville (which is rather non-indicative, but not TOO non-indicative), and I reclaim my Hill.

MY HILL!!!

[VeloJello]

Fortunately, my recovery is swift, and I am able to come charging back. Because I am a Dragon type, I am able to paralyze you with a powerful DragonBreath. While you're paralyzed, I am able to lay claim to the hill once more. The hill is now mine.

[The Nonexistent Tazz]

I inject a quick Paralyz Heal, and shoot at you with Ice Beam five seconds later, relying on ridiculous speed. Being a Dragon Type (and a Flying Type as well), you're kind of screwed. You're carted to the good old PKMN center in Nowhere-near-the-hill-ville, and I reclaim my hill.

MY HILL!!!

[VeloJello]

Fortunately, as a part Dragon type I have access to a lot of Fire-type moves. I use my superior Special Attack to burn you with a Flamethrower at long range, forcing you to seek swift medical attention. While you are away, I chug Yache Berry smoothies as I rest in my lawn chair. The hill is now mine.

[The Nonexistent Tazz]

I spiked your Yache Berry smoothies with exponentially-acting Toxic. You drink the whole thing without noticing, then you almost immediately faint a few minutes later from the sheer strength of the toxins. I drag you to the South Pole without any coats or anything, then reclaim my hill.

MY HILL!!!