King of the Hill!

[Coru]

I, as I am now a collection of pulverized subatomic particles, roam around the universe, getting hit by astronomical radiation and collecting more and more particles as I travel throughout the universe, eventually leaving myself as a huge gas cloud full of elements, radiation, dark matter and a collection of other things. Over the course of a day, due to the sheer density of me, I begin to develop my own gravitational force and solidify myself. I begin to grow and grow until I become my own planet, the Planet Corunus Voidisitus. Due to the amount of elements, radiation and dark energy culminated in the mass of the planet, I am capable of hosting super advanced supernatural alien species know as Corunovoires. Seeming to be a cross between a Wyvern and a Xenomorph, Corunovoires have superior intellect, speed and power. They have poisonous glands on each limb that is secreted with each scratch and they have double jaws. They also have extremely highly developed camouflaging biological pigments, meaning they can become seemingly invisible at command. Whilst the fleet of 1,000,000 Corunovoires begin their descent to Earth, the planet Corunus Voidisitus begins to collapse in on itself, becoming a black hole. The black hole begins to engulf all near solar systems until all of a sudden, a bright light emerges and a huge explosion occurs. A huge humanoid figure climbs out of the black hole, wings like a dragon, horns like the beast and all other physical traits of a Corunovoire. "It is I, Coru"
I descend down to Earth. Letting my planetary children pulverize the Earth. They descend from above, using their superior intellect and speed to easily evade the lasers. Taz doesn't know what to expect as 1,000,000 invisible venomous Corunovoires slash at his Trillion-strong form quickly mortally poisoning him. Once finished with Tazz, the force moves onto Neo. They easily remove the swarm of Algome Oen with a swift bat of the wing, launching then all into space, where I eat them, becoming much stronger. Once Neo is then located, I descend. Purging the Earth into darkness, forcing Neo to retreat to either an alternate reality or another planet.
As a merciful leader, I reclaim the hill, give Tazz an antidote made from the sap of the CoruCoru tree and Launch him onto the Moon. I then sit on my prize. The Hill, using my powers to surround every square inch on the hill and in the surrounding 5 miles with my Corunovoire army and with a snap of my finger, I once again transform into my original self, but with a pendant with a Wyvern Wing which I may activate once more to become my ultimate form.

MY HILL!!!
(Dayum, got Ninja'd when I got a bit too carried away with my post)

[The Nonexistent Tazz]

Because you bought everything with me, I get offended and hold legal court. Long story short, as you turned ME into gold it's MY gold, not yours (along with a lot of other charges), so they have to say that everything you just bought was offered to me as compensation-as well as my body, now a trillion-strong golden insidious hummingbird swarm. This includes the Hill, and knowledge and ownership of everything on it. After that failing of a court-case, the owner of planet Scune, Suicune, appears and fires a powerful Aurora Beam at you, destroying the ZON satellite and sending you skybound on an express flight to the North Pole, for calling his planet uninteresting and dumping a ton of lasers on it.

Oh, and Algome Oen awaits you there post-HosPITal, working out after that gum incident. As it turns out, merging all 1 trillion clones just made him 1 trillion times stronger (physically). And that's pre-workout.

That's gonna suck. For you.

Meanwhile, well, I already have the hill legally so yeah. Now it's just a question of editing this so Coru's response is properly countered, which is actually pretty easy. I mean. I've just been turned to gold, so technically I no longer can be poisoned, allowing my trillion-strong (if individually tiny) self to peck away at the Corunovoires. Of course, knowing this won't work against Coru himself, I remerge and reappear as my ultimate form: A analgamation of every feasible being I ever have been, will be, am right now, or will write or think about previously or in the future! It's stupidly OP and you know it's stupidly OP in a manner that, I think, if properly described, would take up far too much space, so let's just leave it as 'you get owned by Godarm.'

With that done, I just settle down, letting the threat of very-long range Godarm take care of business.

MY HILLL!!!

[Neo Emolga]

Now existing between the North Pole and an alternate reality, I use the power of Warping the Space-Time Continuum to merge into one. I then find Aglome Oen and I then point out that both Coru and Tazz have been spelling his name wrong over and over again as they still haven't realized it's "Neo Emolga" spelt backwards! This upsets and angers Aglome Oen, and this crime gets noticed by the Grammar Nazis. War has been declared on both Coru and Tazz, and decide DOOM must be used. Aglome Oen agrees to temporarily be my friend and ally for as long as Tazz and Coru continue spelling his name wrong.

Returning to the hill, I notice that Tazz has entered ridiculous OP form to eliminate Coru in his ultimate OP form. Aglome Oen rushes up to Tazz, and uses Oh Snap, Knuckle-Crunch Super Move on him, power x1,000,000,000 thanks to the Aglome Oen merge. In conjunction, the Grammar Nazis use DOOM on the Godarm, causing it to malfunction in a way that voids its 90 day warranty and causes the Godarm to gain sentience and suddenly despite its own existence. It self-destructs, but instead of explosions, it creates lots of flowers instead.

With Tazz now in Pancake Boy form, I use Spatula of Worlds and fling him tens of thousands of feet into the air, where he goes splat back into HosPITal. His new admittance qualifies him for a $20 gift card to Starbucks.

With both Tazz and Coru out of the way, I relax and enjoy Castle Neo Emolga MK II once again.

MY HILL!!!

[The Nonexistent Tazz]

You then realize that, due to the lawsuit, you are still in so much crippling debt that the IRS demand audience. Immediately.

They rush up to the hill and use mysterious IRS powers to void all of your own, and no-one comes to your aid here because no-one screws with the IRS. They're scary dudes. They knock you out with sleeping gas the instant they identify you correctly (they aren't gonna get tripped up by your evil twin that's for sure, they're too brutally efficient for that) and take you to the IRS headquarters to have your books balanced and afterwards-haha who am I kidding, they beat you to a pulp to somehow generate enough money to split even! Don't ask how, you apparently have a gut entirely dedicated to gold that only works when you're punched enough.

You're dragged to HosPITal afterwards, and I reconcile with Aglome Oen, who suddenly forgets he's an evil twin and decides to wander around the world totally aimlessly looking for idiots to beat up. Because money. Meanwhile, Legal ownership of the hill returns to me, and I defend it with a singular magical penny, but not before shoving all of the stuff Neo had to legally surrender earlier into my pockets.

I actually looked into my document for everything I had in the KoTH 'continuum,' so to speak, just a few days ago? It was ridiculous. 12 pages long. You can bank on that being the source form which AntIvOId comes from, and how I got hooked into DTG (Alchemiterrrrrrrrrrr). In any case,

MY HILL!!!

[Neo Emolga]

After leaving HosPITal, I reconcile my debt with the IRS by revealing the hidden location of a Zenomite deposit located in Gamma Quadrant 18. The overwhelming value of this discovery allows me to receive presidential pardon from Barack Obama and all outstanding debt has been expunged in exchange for the intel on this highly valuable and coveted mineral deposit.

I then use Magic! to detect that you have wriggled your way back onto my hill, but you have disregarded the magical booby traps I had set earlier. These activate in addition to the defense protocols installed in the Castle Neo Emolga MK II that you have taken up residence in, which turn your singular magical penny into a non-magical pizza Hot Pocket and turn you into a lovely Queen Alexandra's Birdwing butterfly.

A Stupefy Spell then causes you to forget why you wanted the hill in the first place, and as you flutter off, I clean up the mess you left behind and reclaim my hill. As I turn around, you are suddenly attacked by merciless, bratty children with butterfly nets. The bratty children capture you and stuff you in a bottle for their personal entertainment. Congratulations, you've become a pet.

I crank on some tunes and enjoy my newly reclaimed Castle Neo Emolga MK II.

MY HILL!!!

[The Nonexistent Tazz]

Ahaha! You've activated my trap card! The magical penny's effects immediately occur as you cast your spell upon the penny JUST before me, without you knowing, and the spell released and active by your shenanigans in turning it into a hot pocket, it protects ME from your spell, forcing it unto you instead. Of course, this comes with the cost that I take YOUR form, but that's hardly a cost for the protection of your magical transformation spells. Plus I can transform whenever. Plus, I'm an Emolga, and I'm very specifically you!

...

I immediately ditch your form and transform to normal. It's just not my thing.

Plus, I knew about the traps, as per the lawsuit. You had to tell me EVERYTHING. But that's IRRELEVANT.

As the threat hasn't been completely extinguished yet, I immediately capture you in a Butterfly net. I don't even wait for the kids, not like I need to. Don't you know that Butterfly Nets are PURE anti-magic? Well, metaphorically speaking anyways. With you safely contained in the butterfly net, I take you to a butterfly garden, where your simple butterfly mind is completely intoxicated with the tasty nectars. I return and reclaim the hill, somehow shoving all of your stuff safely into my inventory in the process.

MY HILL!!!

[Neo Emolga]

(I actually had a tricky time figuring a way out of this one!)

I enjoy tasty nectars as a goofy and fluttery butterfly until discovered by Secret Agent Naz, who is after you! He realizes he cannot penetrate the Castle Neo Emolga MK II's defenses alone and does not have the necessary top secret intel required to infiltrate the compound. He also realizes there is a distinctive lack of Neo Emolga in said castle! Upon scanning with Spy-Master Opti-Viewer, he realizes there's something not right about the butterfly that is me. He captures me and puts me in Reversal Chamber 01X95, which restores me back to Neo Emolga state. I no longer feel goofy and fluttery.

Secret Agent Naz tells me you have been flagged as an Enemy of the State for the excessive destruction you have caused with Godarm and that there is now a one billion dollar bounty on your head for your successful capture. However, in attempt to avoid actually paying said bounty hunters, the government has been piggybacking off of their operations and have discovered you at the blacksite: the hill, before the bounty hunters have adequately prepared to capture you.

Together, we assemble our army of spies, ninja-agents, and saboteurs. I give them the floorplans of Castle Neo Emolga MK II and Secret Agent Naz assembles his strike team to remove you out of power. You are captured by use of Knockout Tranquilizer By Ballpoint Pen, and then sent 147 miles southbound to Undisclosed Factory 041 in Eastern Shoreline Location C-0149 to be turned into a creampuff. This operation is a success, and you are now a creampuff.

I reclaim Castle Neo Emolga MK II, move all of my stuff back into its proper place, and clean up the mess you left behind.

MY HILL!!!

[The Nonexistent Tazz]

"Your stuff" includes "Castle Neo Emolga MK II," meaning I'm the LEGAL owner. Don't ask how I shoved that into my pocket. SHENANIGANS WERE INVOLVED!. In any case, as it's my impenetrable hammerspace pocket I put it in and I again, legally own it (that lawsuit is really tripping you up, just make Castle Neo Emolga MK III already!), you suddenly ignore my legal ownership to realize that, if I don't have a pocket because of being a Creampuff, Castle Neo Emolga MK II will suddenly BE THERE and destroy the facility through its extremely sudden presence taking up space, and fearing the worst, you rush over there to stop the procedure.

Sadly, it is a success and I am now a creampuff that very narrowly avoided being suddenly tele-fragged by the physics-defying appearance of a castle and the subsequent paradoxes/explosions. Miraculously, you and I are the only survivors-everything and everyone else in a twenty mile radius is dead. After I transform back into relative normal, we almost agree that we shall never speak of it again, until the Dark Carnival came in anyways. the Dark Carnival, in short, is a murderous band of Omnicidal Clwons that worship Paradoxes and are considered the biggest jerks in the galacy. We jointly agree to murder them all before anything gets worse in what would undoubtably be a ridiculously awesome fight scene. I have absolutely no time to describe it, though, but know that there were explosions.

Within 3 minutes we have completely obliterated all Dark Carnival clowns in an epic climatic battle that actually took longer than 3 minutes due to animation being too epic to condense into 3 minutes Paradoxes screwing with time. We are hailed as heroes, and are offered full governmental pardon by the entirety of the United Nations and several other nations that haven't joined, as well as other planets. Everyone hates the Dark Carnival. We are rewarded with a truly absurd amount of stuff. It's also AWESOME stuff. It's a ridiculous amount of stuff to carry, actually! Too much for an Emolga on his lonesome! You don't want to ditch it-too sweet to lose! Fortunately, I have already arranged for my Legendary Army to help with the lifting and such and have my Hammerspace Pocket of impervious-to-theft-ness to work with, allowing me to carry it off it in a reasonable timeframe. While you call up your own methods of lifting heavy bucketloads of L00T, none of which contains any weapons (mine neither to be fair), I claim the hill.

MY HILL!!!

[Steven_Six]

Anti-Complexity Laser then fires, murdering anything overly complex. THIS MEANS ALL OF YOU.

Thus, the game is reverted to its simple beginning state, when it was just a hill and a traveler.

And so...

"As I ventured throughout the unknown land which I typically ventured through, I encountered a thing of extraordinary marvel: A hill so pristine, so pure, so utterly desirable by all types, that further ignorance was madness of the highest order! No copy could ever compare to the marvel of this beautiful, flawless hill! 'It must be mine', methinks! Seeing as no other people were around to get at it, I plant my noble flag upon the lovely hill and declare it mine."

[Neo Emolga]

I, Secret Agent 00E Neo Emolga, witness Steven illegally claiming the hill without formal declaration of independence. I use Tazer Pen to zap him, and then use Improvised Toboggan to strap him down and send him on his way to Djibouti. My spy tracking beacon indicates he has arrived there successfully, and is now out of my way. I then remove his silly flag and put it in a recycling bin. Reduce, reuse, recycle!

Using Basecraft Apparatus Suitcase, I then put it on the hill to construct Government Base 0314, allowing an entire base to unfold out of the suitcase, complete with motion sensors, hidden sentry turrets with beam lasers, and all kinds of other neat high-tech computers and equipment. I then radio HQ using my earpiece.

"We're in."

MY HILL!!!