King of the Hill!

[The Nonexistent Tazz]

I somehow remain intact on the Hill's lake after the blast, having very quickly somehow shoved the entirety of my palace (water and all) into my impossible subspace pockets. Also, I think that they were a one-gender race, and that gender is not male. Also, I don't really know why they did that, actually. They gave me altogether all too much stuff, some of this is probably more than enough to save their stagnating civilization. It's like it's all a convenient plot device to ensure that I basically would become invincible-OH WAIT

In any case, as it took eons to get here and Mermaids somehow do not age (I said it would), ergo giving me eons to actually set up the inevitable counterattack. You are accosted by Regirock before you get very far, who has somehow been conveniently waterproofed. You scoff; Regirock is a rather weak legendary all things considered, discounting the massive Defense value. How can it really hurt you, supereffective attacks aside?

It turns out Regirock already thought of an answer to that, coats the Battlefield in Sand with a Sandstorm, then uses the Sand to effectively boost his pathetic speed far beyond what's normal by simply manipulating it to push him. You do not expect such sudden speed from him, so you are crushed underneath a rocky tomb. You respawn immediately, and find Regirock not five feet from the HosPITal, who introduces you to how to make Stone Edge unbeilevably awesome.

It's a messy introduction.

You retreat to the Jamboree for protection only to find Regirock somehow having penetrated the hull and massacring everything between you and it. Coincidentally, it's a very big ship. You go to fight him off now that you're somewhat more prepared for the inexplicably awesome Regirock.

Meanwhile, I decide to fix the major issue by sending all the mermaids onto a single rocket ship that I have just devised, and sending everything to a new terraformed planet that I just made. Except, not 'just made' as I had eons. The Mermaids quickly leave, enter a new planet similar to the one I left Earth in pre-deflooding, and expand and grow and yadda yadda yadda supreme galactic empire in hours just add water. The Mermaids thank me by firing a massive laser into the Jamboree without warning, obliterating you. Regirock somehow survives, and you are again transported to HosPITal, again having to figure out a way to defeat your near-invulnerable foe.

Meanwhile, I just keep my hill.

MY HILL!!!

[Neo Emolga]

My ship! T-T

But... mermaids with lasers, THAT'S a new one!

After getting released from HosPITal for like the seven-thousandth time, I get my revenge on Regirock. He may have been waterproofed, but I introduce him to my Mercenary Commando Bellossom Posse, who SUCK HIM DRY with a unified Giga Drain attack. He ded. I pay them handsomely.

I sneak up behind you and use Trombone of Terror attack, causing you to be filled with dread and despair! This, in unison with the musical ensemble of gong, triangle, and harpsichord cause you to spin around rapidly until you launch into the sky and become a dazzling and awe-inspiring display of colorful fireworks! It hurts, though, and lands you in HosPITal. Don't worry, they have a room all ready for you!

With you gone, I mosey on back to my cozy, comfy campsite.

MY HILL!!!

[The Nonexistent Tazz]

...Should we just make a pact and try to survive the Ditto Assimilators?

They're becoming a problem, and they're creepy.

In case the answer is no, I transform back to my non-Mermaid self (that was weird for me too) and test my shotgun for the purposes of shooting liquidy blobs to bits in seconds by blowing the completely unrelated you up. As can be expected of the man who made such quality products as the Uber Blaster and the Mermaid -INSERT EVERYTHING HERE- I can attest that the result was a massive success.

MY HILL!!!

[Steven_Six]

...
...
...
You cannot resist.
We shall defeat you.
It is time to face your greatest enemy...
YOURSELF.
...
...
...
After transforming into you, I test my shotgun for the purposes of shooting liquidy blobs to bits in seconds by blowing the completely unrelated you up. As can be expected of the man who made such quality products as the Uber Blaster and the Mermaid -INSERT EVERYTHING HERE- I can attest that the result was a massive success.

Thus, the hill is captured for the Ditto Hivemind.

[The Nonexistent Tazz]

@Neo Emolga WE MUST UNITE NOW. UNITE SYNCHRONISE HENSHIN A GO GO WONDER-EYES EMOLGA IN THE NAME OF THE MOON DEER LORD NEO WE MUST UNITE LIKE A SENTAI TEAM!

While I hold out for Neo, I matrix-dodge your bullets! never create something that can so easily be turned against you! Meanwhile, the Mermaids precision-laser you from the heavens above, their empire spreading like wildfire. Thanking them again, I begin a summoning ritual and claim the hill for the rebellion!

MY HILL!!!

[Steven_Six]

Sadly, this death is soon broadcast throughout the Hivemind, and Dittos everywhere get ticked.
An all out war launches as Dittos transform and assimilate Mermaids, and soon the precision laser is turned on you. Holes where your heart should be is bad.
And my consciousness is sent to a low ranking ditto, to capture the hill for the Hivemind once more.
ALL GLORY TO THE HIVEMIND

[The Nonexistent Tazz]

You fail to duplicate the Mermaids. They are simply too far away for that.

While you try and fail, guess what happens to your distracted selves?

G'DAY MATE

Yes, that's right, a Sniper blows you up. THE SHOTGUN RUSE WAS A...

DISTRACTION

MY HILL!!!

[Neo Emolga]

THE DITTO INFECTION HAS INITIATED THE EXNET (EXTERMINATORS: NEO EMOLGA & TAZZ) PROJECT. ALL DITTO INFILTRATION UNITS WILL BE TARGETED FOR IMMEDIATE ELIMINATION BY EXNET OPERATIVES AND ORDINANCE.

I confirm the EXNET Titanium Sky satellite goes online, flagging down all hostile Ditto infiltration units by thermal and DNA identification. And because it's a satellite and you're just a pink blob that cannot enter space or assimilate robotic entities, you're screwed.

I then use Special Summoning Project One. It summons Optimus Prime, Chuck Norris (whose prowess cannot be assimilated), and Turbo Jesus (whose prowess cannot be assimilated). They are accompanied by an armada of Terran Battlecruisers and the entirety of the Star Wars Rebel army. This unification of awesomeness is far too overpowering for mere Dittos like Steven and the remainder of the Hivemind to comprehend. Without weapons to fight back, the Dittos are blasted, beaten, and pulverized into nothingness, and the EXNET Alliance seizes dominion of the hill.

OUR HILL!!!

[The Nonexistent Tazz]

WE MUST CLAIM THIS HILL FOR THE ELECTRIC RODENT REGIME, NEO.

IT'S POWER IS INCREDIBLE.

SERIOUSLY, LIKE, POWER MULTIPLIER FOR SITTING ON IT. AMONG OTHER MAJOR BENEFITS. IMMORTALITY AND SUCH.

I call in the Mermaids, who agree to join the EXNET Alliance, who we all know will readily join the real power, the Electric Rodent Regime.

I quickly supply Neo with the condensed Pika-Flu blocks I have stored in the interim between PSG 1 and now for the purposes of Tactical Pika-Flu Nukes, to discourage/remind old comrades where their real loyalties lie. Meanwhile, I forcibly airdrop in a thousand tons of tank around the hill with literal Zap Cannons and Discharge Capacitors JUST to make these Dittos evaporate. This is folloewd by summoning every Godmodder I know (with copious begging because IT'S AN EMERGENCY), and in short order three of the most powerful beings to ever exist-all capable of creating weapons to KILL Chuck Norris for pete's sake-all stand additional guard, determined to wipe out the Imposters.

This is the stuff of weird fiction right here: Communist Electric Rodents versus the Ditto Apocalypse. But I'm not caring. GLORY TO THE ELECTRIC RODENT REGIME!

THE REGIME'S HILL!

[Steven_Six]

WE SHALL BE BACK SOON.
DO NOT DECLARE US DEAD BECAUSE WE ARE GONE.
THE HIVEMIND SHALL PERSEVERE.