Thankfully, I'm still in the position to do cardio by flapping my pudgy arms, so I cram in a GO FERAL energy drink and do so many insane cardio workouts that I'm back to normal in no time, burning millions of calories and even powering all of Las Vegas via a bicycle generator. My armies follow my great example because I'm such a great leader!

Dude, insulted by your evil deeds of negating his magic abilities, shows you his final form. Humongous Hamster! Armed with Homewrecker Hamster Hammer. This does not bode well for you. Your Pirate-Samurai Legions quickly fall victim to the wrath of Dude the Humongous Hamster with his Homewrecker Hamster Hammer. He laughs as he pounds your army and each of them becomes as flat as tiddlywinks chips. And Dude looks oh so adorable doing it! My prestigious flying squirrel army and I arrive at the hill, finding you're the only one that remains after your armies have been so graciously pounded flat.

As revenge for your evil plot of monstrous obesity, we stuff you into a port-a-potty and lock it. We then take you all the way to the top of Mount Everest and send you rolling down, down, all the way down, turning the interior of your port-a-potty into a crap smoothie and making you an extra stinky version of Swamp Thing. This, of course, is followed by Dude squashing you inside the port-a-potty via the generous and comical use of Homewrecker Hamster Hammer. Your pancake remains are then flung like a Frisbee all the way to the Poofy Galactic Sector, where the slimy aliens of Planet Margeee use you and your squashed port-a-potty as a votive candle holder.

With you and your silly tiddlywinks armies gone, Dude the Humongous Hamster, all my flying squirrel friends, and I enjoy the splendor of the hill and the new vacation resort we build there. All in the lovely location of the Bahamas. We look so good in shades!

MY HILL!