King of the Hill!

[VeloJello]

Fortunately, I'm best friends with some South Pole Waterbenders. They give me all the coats I want, as well as a ride back to the hill. I wrap you up in fluffy Waterbender coats and the resulting overheat requires your flimsy Ice-type self to seek immediate cold. Since the hill is very mild, this involves you getting nowhere near it. The hill is now mine.

[The Nonexistent Tazz]

Unfortunately, I solve this by wrapping you in the coats in such a manner that you're now an immobile ball, which I roll downhill. I then reclaim my hill and laugh at your status as a jacket ball.

MY HILL!!!

[VeloJello]

Little do you know that I am a master of Katamari-rolling. I roll my Katamari-like self through town, collecting all sorts of items to add to my mass. When my coat-Katamari has reached optimal size, I roll you up and break free, sending you and the Katamari rolling off to who-knows where. The hill is now mine.

[The Nonexistent Tazz]

I use Rollout to use the coat Katamari to roll around the world and slam into you from behind, releasing myself from the Katamari immediately afterwards. Not satisfied, I shoot it with the Uber Blaster to knock it around the world again, you in it and unable to control it due to sheer speed, then Uber-Blaster it to the stars above, where it explodes into a star in the distant night sky.

I don't think you're anywhere near the milky way galaxy anymore, Velo. Or the King of All Cosmos, before you get ideas, because I saw him relaxing in Nowhere-near-the-hill-ville, which is definitely on earth. Anyways, I reclaim my hill while I buy a name for the new Constellation that just appeared thanks to the Katamari.

MY HILL!!!

[VeloJello]

As the Katamari explodes, the constellation it becomes is imbued with my hopes and dreams. It bends to my will, forming a tide of stars that I ride - my hair flowing elegantly, of course - back to the hill. My star tide sweeps you away into the depths of space before reforming into a new constellation that reads, "Keep off of my hill". The hill is now mine.

[The Nonexistent Tazz]

As it turns out, the words have an incredibly sour impact on the Charon Aliens. Apparently it means something a lot worse than what it already means to you and I. Thinking you as a collaborator to the nefarious ninja troll Goldwynaut (who they despise as their number one undisputed archenemy of all time), and recalling me as one of Gold's arch enemies, they assist me in defeating you by teleporting me out of space and right into your face. I prepare to use Blizzard, but you faint from my Deadly Neurotoxin-laced bad breath as I breath in-that's what you get for spiking my breath mints with Deadly Neurotoxin! You go to the HosPITol, and I reclaim my hill.

MY HILL!!!

[VeloJello]

I recover quickly, however, and I tell my Waterbender friends that you ruined their nice coats. In retaliation, they create a flood that sweeps you off of the hill and into the ocean. The hill is now mine.

[The Nonexistent Tazz]

I kick the continent of Antartica at you, after washing up upon it's shores.

Yes, Antartica. The whole freaking continent, kicked straight at you, knocking you clean off the hill and trapped under the ice of Antartica, while I go to reclaim my hill.

MY HILL!!!

[VeloJello]

Being trapped under Antarctica is so hilarious that I get a case of The Giggles. The Giggles will not be contained, and soon my laughter is so great that it melts a hole in the continent and frees me. Coincidentally, you have aggravated a lot of penguins. The penguins swarm you and knock you off the hill, while I and my Giggles kick back to enjoy it. The hill is now mine.

[The Nonexistent Tazz]

I summon forth, from within my soul, a powerful power, so powerful, it had to be put in my soul in the first place.

YES!!

I SUMMON THE POWER!!! THE ULTIMATE POWER!!! THE POWER OF DEVASTATION PURE AND SUPREME!!!

THE POWER!!! OF DRY-ERASE MARKERS!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAA!!!

...You're promptly blown out of the universe (possibly with an additonal abortion from all existence, prior to, prior from, and going on now), and I'd say your Giggles are no more, but that would be saying something like 'I floss my teeth with a plastic straw (the kind used for drinking).' I do not do that. Your Giggles are so far beyond 'no more' I cannot find a word for it.

I reclaim my hill.

MY HILL!!!