King of the Hill!

[VeloJello]

Little did you know that when you swung your galaxy-sized ax, it didn't just hit me - its massive hugeness also hit several occupied planets sprinkled throughout the Milky Way. Their occupants converge to take their revenge, and while you're busy trying not to get blasted to bits by a skyful of very angry aliens, I disable your self-spawners and reclaim the hill. The hill is now mine.

[The Nonexistent Tazz]

By disabling the self-spawners, you also disable your respawn system (since everyone's connected to the same system-yes, the reason why you can live through being torn in twelve is the same reason why I can-and yes, respawns happen upon unconsciousness, to answer the impending question), so an errant piece of shrapnel from a Spaceship I destroyed slams down upon you, pinning you to the spot, leaving you hopeless while I cream the alien offensive with my own offensive. The remainders flee, and I turn on the respawn system, which, due to your many wounds, warps you back to Nowhere-near-the-hill-ville. I, being close to my hill, reclaim it immediately.

MY HILL!!!

[VeloJello]

I send you a thank-you card and some chocolates for preventing my untimely demise. You are so worried that I've placed some sort of bomb or radioactive material in them that you flee the hill immediately. While I am confused that you didn't eat the chocolates, I shrug it off and accept both them and the hill as an apology for your actually getting me almost killed in the first place. The hill is now mine.

[The Nonexistent Tazz]

Approaching the female Star Mage (or whatever you are) that you are, I offer you back the one chocolate I took out of the box, seemingly untouched. You accept the chocolate, take a bite, and realize that I DID put Radioactive material in that chocolate once I realized there wasn't any in it to begin with, giving you a trip to the hosPITol because I didn't appreciate that trick you did in making me look like an idiot. I plant my mighty flag on my hill and take ownership over it yet again.

MY HILL!!!

[VeloJello]

I wake up to ash and dust, proceeding to wipe my brow because I'm sweating rust. After I breathe in the chemicals - ah - I raise my flag, don my clothes, and paint myself red in order to fit right in. I then proceed to run screaming at you up the hill, using my newfound radioactive powers to imagine up a swarm of dragons. The dragons burn you with flames, sending you directly to the hosPITol (which I assume is spelled/capitalized weirdly as a reference to something?). The hill is now mine.

[The Nonexistent Tazz]

Yes, it is a reference to Kid Icarus: Uprising.

Because you had the question answered, you pay me with 1 hill. It is now mine.

MY HILL!!!

[Ganyu]

I hand wave the payment and redirect all hills to me. Therefore, my hill.

[The Nonexistent Tazz]

A long time ago, back on the Pe2k thread, Goldwynaut decided to get rid of me in his bid to claim the hill by trapping me within the Dark World. I turned into an inanimate object due to the properties of it, and he closed the portal, thinking of me as nothing more than an inanimate object. I fast-forwarded my perception of time, still having access to my abilities in some manner by some blessed miracle, to realize that I was not the inanimate object-I was an egg. I hatched after billions of years (which still came off as several hours to me, mind you, so it was still agonizingly long), into a form that was quite frankly lacking in humanity in quite a few ways: A black, bony tail, with some gross kind of 'fleshy substance' being the only thing that held it together; blackened bones along the back and hands (though mostly unnoticeable with some conventional clothes); a life-draining power centralized along my arms and head (which didn't alter from my previous form); yep, I was apparently some still-alive offshoot of a Wither, on top of everything else I was. I...Didn't bother Gold with that info, or really anyone, as I never bothered with the powers that came with it for the most part and managed to hide it with some expertise-the tail was fairly flexible, and everything else was hidden with regular clothes.

But now...Well.

I just said all of that just so you're aware why you're currently being bombareded with Explosive Wither Skulls despite a distinct lack of Withers. I charge one with enough Knockback to knock you straight off the hill, which I reclaim.

Yes, I am aware that the wordy description above was unneeded in the slightest. I felt in the mood is all. :P

MY HILL!!

[Dragotech]

Spoiler:

I distract you with a spoiler while I take the hill.

Read the above to see how I will logically take the hill now.

My Hill.

[The Nonexistent Tazz]

I open a portal to a rocket going space bound, directly under your feet, and close it quickly. The end result is that you're on the pointy tip of a rocket, taking G-force as you're taken farther and farther away from the earth, and by proxy, the hill. I claim it with ease due to the lack of presence atop the hill.

MY HILL!!!