King of the Hill!

[The Nonexistent Tazz]

EXCEPT I AM ICE-POISON. The effect is about the same, though...BUT YOUR GRAVITY WAS NEEDLESS.

Anyways, I use Gourmet Guy, still stuck to my rear end, as a kind of buttclub and flatten you, once I get out of the HosPITol in record time: 1/10000000000000000000000000th of a picosecond! I send you to HosPITol and reclaim the hill, still technically sitting atop Gourmet Guy.

MY HILL!!!

[Sonic20]

I use one golden ring, and suddenly I'm not flat. Then, I open and drink a potion of strength, flipping you over and effectively making gourmet guy flatten you instead. Then, I cover you with food, and he mistakenly eats you, chowing down on the meal. You are now stuck in the slowest digestive system on the face of anything.

I claim the hill.

[Ganyu]

I rewrite the universe, erasing Gourmet guy from the hill. Then I lock you all up in a reality marble with all of you trapped in the moment. The moment that is you guys fighting and battling gourmet guy. But after all it's a moment, which is indefinitely a thousand times stronger than a time loop, and thus requires a Dark-element Reality Warping stat of 9354408201 which only Tazz is capable of attaining very fast in the marble (however he refuses to leave his comfort zone of rocket ponies, poisoned candy and rainbow explosions to even learn Dark magic what a pity). While I in the original dimension of the hill claim MY HILL.

[The Nonexistent Tazz]

I'm not sure any part of that statement that included Poisoned Candy is correct, even slightly...As I am Part-Wither, said Dark Magic I need is INTRINSIC. I unseal myself and Sonic with my unbelievably high stats (and free myself from the digestive system by forcing GG to Barf), and equip Sonic with a PHANTOM BUSTER MK 9, and he gladly shoots you with it...For a very long while, which takes him far away from the hill. I claim it in the meanwhile, setting up ANTI-PHANTOM LAND AND AIR MINES that will easily destroy you if you get close, leaving me totally unharmed.

MY HILL!!!

[The-Hydra]

I stink up the hill with dead skunks, Then snag it when everyone else flees.

My stinky hill.

[The Nonexistent Tazz]

I use LV. 99 DESKUNKING POWERS: SKUNPOCALYPSE. All Skunks are utterly annihilated, as well as that nasty stench of theirs. I kick you off the hill, out of the earth's atmosphere, and into the moon of Charon, where the Charon Aliens imprison you for landing in their fountain for 1999 YEAR(S) and 11 MONTH(S). I reclaim the hill.

MY HILL!!!

[The-Hydra]

Fortunately, The Charon alien prisons are very shoddily built due to budget cuts. I build a rocket and make my escape, Then after a 4 year travel through time and space, I crash on the hill, Knocking you off it.

My hill.

[The Nonexistent Tazz]

ALL OF IT MAKES SENSE NOW. Every time they capture Gold he escapes...Wait a s**t, wasn't that where he was last we heard of him? No?! D**MIT, THE TROLLJA OF PE2K IS STILL AT LARGE!!!

You get so paranoid of becoming back-stabbed by the infamous Trollja of Pe2k, that you hand the hill to more capable, backstab-immune hands, which just so happen to be mine.

MY HILL!!!

[The-Hydra]

Never heard of Trollja. Not paranoid. Hill is still mine.

My hill.

[The Nonexistent Tazz]

You get back-stabbed by Goldwynaut the legendary Trollja, and I, on OVERWATCH, manage a successful reaction shot to the BACKSTAB. I reclaim the hill and Kick Gold out of the dimension and into another one that I watch highly consistently to prevent any chance of his escape.

MY HILL!!!