King of the Hill!

[The-Hydra]

I hide inside a cake sent to your hill with a comical looking bomb, Popping out right before you eat it, Thus causing you to fly off the hill in a giant cake-"Kablooie".

My hill.

[The Nonexistent Tazz]

Your BOMB was too powerful! I travel the circumference of the earth back to the hill. I then use my LV. ERROR!?!%@$*#%^& REALITY WARPING to create a GIANT CAKE MONSTER out of your GIANT CAKE. with a 999% LOYALTY RATING to me and MAXIMUM PULCHRITUDE to prevent any mind games. The GIANT CAKE MONSTER uses it's mighty CAKE-BASED WEAPONARY to deal a SAVAGE UPBRIND for an instant OHKO, and I reclaim the hill with the GIANT CAKE MONSTER.

MY HILL!!!

[The-Hydra]

Gourmet guy uses his ability, "Fine dining" To devour the cake monster whole, Thus becoming huge and conquering the hill.

My hill, I swear.

[The Nonexistent Tazz]

From within the MIGHTY INTESTINES of GG, the GIANT CAKE MONSTER bleeds out JOCOSE HONEY, enough to completely fill the TECTON HIVE and create all eight IMPETUS COMBS. I quickly reality-warp in a LAZY SUSAN OF ENDOWMENT and make sure that the GIANT CAKE MONSTER'S SUCKLE RECEPTACLE is eight times the typical size. I then order that ALL EIGHT of the IMPETUS COMBS are used on the GIANT CAKE MONSTER, to use the single most powerful SEPULCHRITUDE ever conceived.

Unfortunately, he lacks the required SQUID PRO QUO INK to properly initiate the SEPULCHRITUDE period, so he just explodes in a mighty burst of PURE PULCHRITUDE that echos across the multiverse and probably could be felt across several F&G threads, utterly annihilating GG. With him gone (and me safe from the blast due to the GIANT CAKE MONSTER's allegiance to me), I reclaim the hill.

[The-Hydra]

Wile it was taken from me, You forgot to say, "My hill!", Thus it is currently unclaimed.

Nobody's hill.

[The Nonexistent Tazz]

I say 'My hill' purely for a double-check reason, but because I have stated that I reclaimed the hill, that works too. :P YAY FOR FAILSAFES!!

I keep my hill.

MY HILL!!!

[Ganyu]

I use my finger to poke your words, crumbling the text that reads anything about the hill belonging to you. I rewrite over it with my own text saying that it is my hill.

I rewrite it again for people who can't read: My hill. :P

[The Nonexistent Tazz]

I catch you in the act. The instant you turn away I restore the text to their original format. I then proceed to introduce you to DR. PEPPER. Specifically, DR. PEPPER 'EM WITH HOLES, a boss monster made out of SENTIENT DR. PEPPER who wields the infamously lethal CAR KEY MINIGUN. With his NONEXISTENT SLAYER property, you are as vulnerable to that monster as any REGULAR JOE, so while you flee his CAR KEY MINIGUN, I reclaim the hill.

MY HILL!!!

[Ganyu]

You underestimate my abilities to cover my weakness for I am trained in the arts of assassinating nonexistent beings as well. After a gruelling duel, I sheathed my 132nd shiv into his last artery and triumphed. In my retaliation scheme, I summon Saber and Lancer who are dispatched in removing your presence. Once you're gone, I claim the hill as mine with Saber and Lancer as bodyguards. My Hill.

[The Nonexistent Tazz]

As DR. PEPPER 'EM WITH HOLES is 100% Liquid sans that CAR KEY MINIGUN, which is not part of its anatomy in any manner anyways, your 132 SHIV STABS are useless, so you are still embroiled in deep conflict with DR. PEPPER 'EM WITH HOLES. On the other hand, Sabre and Lancer pose an actual threat, so...

I initiate my LV. 9 DROPKICK TECH: THE KICK THAT DROPS, THE DROP THAT KICKS. Me, Lancer and Sabre go into OHKO mode and can only move with jumps and attack with, duh, dive kicks. My foes are unaware, so in attempting to use a kind of springboard technique to get themselves higher than me for a supreme drop kick, they just fail and I get the KOing kick in on both of them at the same time. With you still busy with DR. PEPPER 'EM WITH HOLES, I reclaim my hill.

MY HILL!!!