King of the Hill!

[Dragotech]

I smack you with a hashtag! Your immediate reaction it to abscond from the hashtag due to the illogicalness of the action
My hill.

[The Nonexistent Tazz]

I make you look at something heavily distracting, then kick you in the direction of the distraction while you were being distracted by it. I reclaim the hill whist you are distracted.

MY HILL!!!

[Dragotech]

I'm FLYYIIINNNG!
Wait... OW!
*Gets mailed back*
You open box excitedly!
I jump up and Uppercut for OHKO!
My HIll

[The Nonexistent Tazz]

I fall back onto you, securing another OHKO due to the weight of my gear. I wake up first due to your own Auto-Revive Ability I stole way back in Pe2k, and reclaim the hill after kicking you off.

MY HILL!!!

[Dragotech]

You fail to remember that I re-equipped the "stolen ability* then too... though... I guess you have it too and were knocked out first.

I wake up mid-fall and take you with me... I land on top of you as you get knocked our by a rock.

I claim the hill.
My hill

[The Nonexistent Tazz]

That makes absolutely no sense, as I kicked you off and I was miles away. MY KICKS DESTROY PANZERS, DRAGO. But just in case...I come back to the hill and smash your head open with a Crafting Table. HosPITol NURSES rush to your aid and heal you, but while you're gone, I reclaim the hill.

MY HILL!!

[Sonic20]

I stab you. While you are wondering what the heck is going on, I use my summoning skull to call upon halgisinfaloth, god of toenail clippings. He deals such a whopping amount of nail damage that it almost takes out 1 HP. Also, it has the most severe knock back distance in all of paradox space.

My hill.

[The Nonexistent Tazz]

Paradox Space does not exist here. Paradox Space is an insufferable loop of time-space destined to repeat itself for all eternity and get nowhere.

Regardless of that, I get knocked back so far I return to the hill and knock you off of it, which conveniently stops the knockback and sends you halfway around the world. I reclaim the hill.

MY HILL!!!

[Dragotech]

I call forth Sheogorath... The Daedric Prince of Madness... who is unpredictable... so he beats the crap outta me for summoning him... and then gives me the hill for waking him up... after sending you guys into the head of Pelagius the Third...

My hill

[The Nonexistent Tazz]

He then makes it rain explosive cheese on the hill, forcing you to flee for shelter. I get that sidequest done and reclaim the hill once I get back to it with an umbrella.