[RP] Masters of the World RPG

[Kentucky Fried Torchic]

OOC: I hope I did this right :x

Lutine "Louie" Bell IV, Summoner of Sprouts, Wooer of Women, and All-Around Swell Guy

"Must've taken a wrong turn at Albuquerque," Lutine Bell IV said as his gaze roamed over the scene of chaos and carnage that lay before him. The once idyllic countryside was now crawling with multitiudes of cackling skeletons and monstrous howling wolves. The famous and infamous wizard had been trying to cast a spell that would take him home as quickly as possible after a trip to the store for some milk, but the Staff of Whims was, predictably enough, a fickle magical artifact, subject to its own...what's the word...desires, that's it, ever since Louie had picked it up. Now he was looking at a clash between armies. Or he had been at least. A wave of bony assailants had washed over the forces of good (Louie had learned after a few embarrassing incidents that nine times out of ten the people fighting skeletons are the good guys) and left only two of them left. Literally. There were only two guys facing a horde of sinister, albeit somewhat generic, fiends while their boss clashed with some other overlord in a challenge of heroes. That made the eccentric spellcaster's lip curl in distaste. If there was one thing he did not like, it was watching an unfair fight between meat beings, and with all of these wolves and skeletons those two fellows were dead meat, one of the three worst kinds of meat. "If meat doesn't do the job, then I guess we better try going green," the wizard whispered, the last two words being the key to unlocking his staff's power. The wooden tendrils wrapped tightly around the emerald capping off the wand unfolded, exposing more of the brilliant green gem to the world. The emerald began to glow as Louie began to recite his incantation for a spell of his own devising:

Blades of grass and hearts of meat,
Grant me the strength for this strange feat!
All of these blokes might be dead,
But let's help their buddies get ahead!
And a foot, and a leg, and a whole body!
Quickly now, with work not shoddy!
This loss, we can never replace it,
but we can at least borrow their faces!
I desire them mean!
I desire them green!
I desire them to be fighting machines!

LUTINE BELL IV cast POD PEOPLE

As the words were uttered, a single blade of grass near each of the fallen soldiers wrapped around a hair or a piece of dandruff and pulled it out. The plants then wrapped around their precious cargo and were lifted into the sky by the pull of a massive portal that had opened up. After each blade of grass had gone through the rift, it closed, and after a brief dial tone, opened back up and spat out two-hundred green missiles behind the two remaining soldiers of the once mighty battalion. The missiles were slightly larger than a human male, a sickly pale green color, and pulsed perversely, but that did not last for long as each pod burst upon impact with the ground. Freed from the confines of their unique delivery system stood two-hundred plant men, glistening in the moisture of their bizarre incubators and smiling vacantly at the monsters that they were soon to fight. Each one was reminiscent of one of the fallen soldiers whose material had been used to create them, a fact that no doubt unnerved the two soldiers who they were sent to reinforce, as did their nudity and Barbie doll anatomy. In an attempt to alleviate this, one of the pod people said, "We are here to help", in an emotionless yet strangely pleasant voice.

Another one said, "I just flew in from the dimensional plane of gardening and boy are my arms tired", in the same deadpan voice. Each of the pod people then pulled out a Whooping Stick from the wreckage of their birthplaces and brought them forward in one unified motion as if they were a singular dead-eyed, smiling creature instead of two-hundred.

"I'm so proud," Louie said, wiping a tear from his eye with the sleeve of his star-spangled cloak.