[RP] Masters of the World RPG

[Kentucky Fried Torchic]

Lutine "Louie" Bell IV, Summoner of Sprouts, Wooer of Women, and All-Around Swell Guy

Just as he had finished throwing up his wall of hedges, Louie looked up and realized that instead of getting farther away the flaming fruits he had fired were actually getting closer. The wizard, talented as he was at magic and tending his bonsai garden, did not have a head for numbers. His high school math teacher always told him that this was going to cause him problems later on in life. But did Lutine Bell IV listen? Nooooooo.

As a result, the flaming produce fell on him, bursting on impact leaving the wizard soaked in flaming juice and jelly. He stopped, dropped, and rolled, but the damage was irreversible. The carton of milk that he had gone to market to fetch was completely ruined. "No sense in wine-ing over spilled milk, huh?" he said with his characteristic charm and trademark grin. But he was in a maze and the brilliant joke had no audience. "I hate Mondays," the wizard muttered before readying his wand to give this wizard fight another whirl. He was apprehensive about trying another offensive spell after the fiasco that had been Grape Balls of Fire. His Pod People seemed to be doing well, so he decided to try his hand at another summoning spell. With a flourish of the Staff of Whims, Lutine Bell IV began to speak the words of power to a new spell:

In times so grave
Filling people with fear-o
We could use a save
We could use a hero
Against these villains who seek to loot and plunder
A certain radical dude has to bring the thunder
While they're not loggers
Or making the ozone feeble
Or pro-fracking bloggers
Or weird-looking pig people
These guys are jerks, that's all there is to it!
They need to be recycled and only one guy can do it!

Lutine Bell then held open his free hand and conjured small amounts of each of the next five words that he uttered, sending them flying around in a circle above his head.

Earth!
Fire!
Wind!
Water!
Heart!

Then with a thunderous crescendo, the four pieces of the classical Greek elements collided with one another, and with the floating human heart that Louie had summoned, and lightning split the sky. When the glare died down a tall figure was floating gallantly in the air above the hedge maze. He would have almost looked handsome, except for the fact that he wore had a dark green mullet of hair, skin as blue as Heisenberg's meth, and was wearing very little in the way of skin-tight red trunks and gloves and boots in the same shade of crimson. On his red chest-piece, a great yellow circle crisscrossed with lines served as an insignia. In a friendly baritone, this strange superhero proclaimed, "By your powers combined, I am Captain Planet!"

LUTINE BELL IV cast THE POWER IS MINE

As a strange rock song began to play in the background of the ruined battlefield in dire contrast to the carnage, proclaiming, "Captain Planet, he's our hero! Gonna take pollution down to zero! He's our powers magnified, and he's fighting on the planet's side!", the brightly colored figure gave Louie a skeptical look.

"Hey there, friend," he said, flashing a dazzling smile of white teeth. "Where are the Planeteers? And, more importantly, where are the mean old polluters?"

"Over there," Lutine said, conjuring a couple of bright green arrows to point out the bad guys.

"Up to some fowl plan, I assume," Captain Planet chuckled as he saw the giant cockatoo that had been summoned.

Despite feeling totally one-upped by missing the chance on that joke, Lutine Bell IV explained, "They're causing all kinds of havoc, perverting the natural order of life and death, slaughtering innocent people, and having incredibly bad fashion sense."

The superhero looked unimpressed. "That doesn't really sound like my kind of deal, guy," he said, folding his muscular arms over his distractingly mostly-uncovered chest.

"Uh, they also attempted to introduce a new species into the ecosystem without caring about the consequences that these invaders would have on the existing biosphere. Also, I think that guy cut down a tree. With a fish."

"Those monsters!" Captain Planet cried and he barreled through the sky toward the villains. It was one thing to mess with people, but once you messed with nature, then you were on Captain Planet's list.