Should I Do It?

[Noblejanobii]

That's true, all good points. Well, I plan to script out the whole thing first. It'll make everything much easier on me. Once that's done then, if all goes well, I'll start the comic.

[Neo Emolga]

Well, even on smackjeeves and deviantart, I received way more hate for my comic than I did praise. That's the main reason I stopped updated. I couldn't take the constant "your art sucks" 24/7.

I should emphasize that if it's something I'm not confident about, like drawing, I cannot take ANY form of criticism. At all. I'm just that sensitive about my work. It makes me feel that my already crappy stuff looks even worse.

...And those people can go take a hike.

No matter how good anyone gets, there will always be naysayers. You need to ignore them. Let the compliments you receive fuel your passion, and forget about the insults. No one ever gets a "perfect score" when it comes to skills and creations, because even if one person says it's "perfect," another will not. You need to stop trying to be perfect across the board and get to that level where you enjoy what you do and enjoy getting better at it.

I used to SUCK at making banners. I got better because I enjoyed making them and enjoyed the thrill of getting better. Same thing with drawn art. Holy crap, I used to be unable to draw Pikachu at all and what I did was practically insulting to the little guy. But I enjoyed the idea of getting better and I didn't let anyone's garbage stop me. And I know the running joke I have going is I'm not great at spriting. Could I get better at spriting? I definitely could given time, tutorial practice, and passion, but the problem is... I just don't enjoy that form of art as much as I enjoy the drawn and graphic side of it. And that's all there is to it. I just prefer to work with a pen rather than do things on a pixel level. And there's absolutely nothing wrong with that.

STOP being so hard on yourself. STOP trying to compare yourself to others. And STOP thinking you have to be perfect at all times, or you can't be allowed to partake in that activity. That's silly talk. You know what? These drawn pictures aren't even bad. Some tweaking here and there and they would be fine. They show possibility and they PROVE that when you started this whole thing in the first place, you had a burning desire to do so and decided to share it with others. Focus on the burning desire to do it. Sharing it with others isn't as important.

Create to EXPRESS, not to IMPRESS. Work for a CAUSE, not for APPLAUSE.

That's true, all good points. Well, I plan to script out the whole thing first. It'll make everything much easier on me. Once that's done then, if all goes well, I'll start the comic.

Glad to hear it. ;)

[Noblejanobii]

...And those people can go take a hike.

No matter how good anyone gets, there will always be naysayers. You need to ignore them. Let the compliments you receive fuel your passion, and forget about the insults. No one ever gets a "perfect score" when it comes to skills and creations, because even if one person says it's "perfect," another will not. You need to stop trying to be perfect across the board and get to that level where you enjoy what you do and enjoy getting better at it.

I used to SUCK at making banners. I got better because I enjoyed making them and enjoyed the thrill of getting better. Same thing with drawn art. Holy crap, I used to be unable to draw Pikachu at all and what I did was practically insulting to the little guy. But I enjoyed the idea of getting better and I didn't let anyone's garbage stop me. And I know the running joke I have going is I'm not great at spriting. Could I get better at spriting? I definitely could given time, tutorial practice, and passion, but the problem is... I just don't enjoy that form of art as much as I enjoy the drawn and graphic side of it. And that's all there is to it. I just prefer to work with a pen rather than do things on a pixel level. And there's absolutely nothing wrong with that.

STOP being so hard on yourself. STOP trying to compare yourself to others. And STOP thinking you have to be perfect at all times, or you can't be allowed to partake in that activity. That's silly talk. You know what? These drawn pictures aren't even bad. Some tweaking here and there and they would be fine. They show possibility and they PROVE that when you started this whole thing in the first place, you had a burning desire to do so and decided to share it with others. Focus on the burning desire to do it. Sharing it with others isn't as important.

Create to EXPRESS, not to IMPRESS. Work for a CAUSE, not for APPLAUSE.

I blame my upbringing for that mentality. I was raised with contact social pressures at home and at school to be absolutely perfect at everything. If I wasn't, I was physically, mentally, or emotionally abused, so I fear failure way more than is probably healthy. I mean, for God's sake, in certain classes if I get a B (like even a 92) on a test, I'm prone to bursting into tears because literally until last year, if that happened I would get yelled at and hit by my mother. She stopped last year when she saw how much the stress from the class was affecting me (her abuse totally contributed but she considers it corporal punishment so) and laid off. That has continued to this year. But the fear lives on.

I seek approval in others because, to me, everything I do is nothing but for those around me. I was raised to cater to others before me, which is why I thrive off the approval of others and wilt at the anger of them. As sucky as that may sound, it's the only life I've ever known and probably will be the only life I ever know. I doubt that will ever change. So I will continue to put myself down, compare myself to others, and refuse to partake in an activity because I feel I'm not good enough. It's too late in the game to change my mentality. All I can really hope for is that, when I venture out into the world, the piranhas waiting for me don't devour me too quickly.

So I'll try to do this comic, and we'll see where it goes, but once again, fair warning, set the standard very low on your art expectations, because it probably won't be very good no matter how much I work at it.

[Neo Emolga]

I blame my upbringing for that mentality. I was raised with contact social pressures at home and at school to be absolutely perfect at everything. If I wasn't, I was physically, mentally, or emotionally abused, so I fear failure way more than is probably healthy. I mean, for God's sake, in certain classes if I get a B (like even a 92) on a test, I'm prone to bursting into tears because literally until last year, if that happened I would get yelled at and hit by my mother. She stopped last year when she saw how much the stress from the class was affecting me (her abuse totally contributed but she considers it corporal punishment so) and laid off. That has continued to this year. But the fear lives on.

That's EMOTIONAL AND PHYSICAL ABUSE and yes, and it is WRONG FOR YOUR MOTHER TO DO THAT. That's just rotten-bad parenting and if I ever become a father, I'd try to get the full story first before saying or doing anything to my kids. Sometimes failure is beyond our control and it's just not our fault. Sometimes it's not a failure at all, it's just a message that there's a better path that needs to be found or a new approach needs to be taken. It should be seen as an open path for learning and discovery. But it should NEVER result in physical or emotional abuse. I can't stress this enough, it's so much better to teach and communicate than it is to insult and punish. Punishment should really only be a last resort if all other approaches just don't work and nothing is getting through to that person and yet, they have the power and position to better themselves and their behavior.

Being happy with yourself is more important than being successful. You could be a millionaire, but feel horrible and miserable with yourself because of what you did and who you stepped on to get to the top. And you could also be broke, but be happy because you have friends, a clean conscience, and enjoy simple pleasures in life away from the materialism.

Also, this:

I seek approval in others because, to me, everything I do is nothing but for those around me. I was raised to cater to others before me, which is why I thrive off the approval of others and wilt at the anger of them. As sucky as that may sound, it's the only life I've ever known and probably will be the only life I ever know. I doubt that will ever change. So I will continue to put myself down, compare myself to others, and refuse to partake in an activity because I feel I'm not good enough. It's too late in the game to change my mentality. All I can really hope for is that, when I venture out into the world, the piranhas waiting for me don't devour me too quickly.

I want you to write all this down on paper. Every last word. Go on, do it! Take a picture of it and upload it for all of us to see.

Then I want you to take that piece of paper with all those words, and RIP IT APART. And then take those shredded pieces of paper, and BURN THEM IN A FIRE UNTIL NOTHING IS LEFT. And you bet I want pictures of that too!

Everything in that passage above is CANCER. And it will consume you and eat you alive unless you FIGHT IT and DRIVE IT OUT OF YOU. So write it down on paper. Let those words take physical form, as if you're sucking the poison out of yourself and putting it somewhere else. And then DESTROY IT, to the soundtrack of heavy thrash metal music if that helps! Because you can't keep thinking that way. No one here wants you to think that way.

We want to see you happy and hey, there's no better time to change right here, right now. You can change for the better, and it starts with believing in yourself that you can and you truly want to. And I KNOW you can and truly want to.

You're a fantastic human being and don't let anyone ever tell you otherwise. Now go out there and make a great PMD comic!

[Noblejanobii]

That's EMOTIONAL AND PHYSICAL ABUSE and yes, and it is WRONG FOR YOUR MOTHER TO DO THAT. That's just rotten-bad parenting and if I ever become a father, I'd try to get the full story first before saying or doing anything to my kids. Sometimes failure is beyond our control and it's just not our fault. Sometimes it's not a failure at all, it's just a message that there's a better path that needs to be found or a new approach needs to be taken. It should be seen as an open path for learning and discovery. But it should NEVER result in physical or emotional abuse. I can't stress this enough, it's so much better to teach and communicate than it is to insult and punish. Punishment should really only be a last resort if all other approaches just don't work and nothing is getting through to that person and yet, they have the power and position to better themselves and their behavior.

Being happy with yourself is more important than being successful. You could be a millionaire, but feel horrible and miserable with yourself because of what you did and who you stepped on to get to the top. And you could also be broke, but be happy because you have friends, a clean conscience, and enjoy simple pleasures in life away from the materialism.

I mean, there's nothing much I can do about it now. Technically they don't have custody over me anymore and starting this August I will no longer be living with them so it's not like this will continue. Plus I don't have the bruises and stuff to show to DSS anymore anyway. I've just learned to submit, come quickly, allow her to do her thing, and then just don't talk, don't interact, just don't do anything for the rest of the day because she's a loose cannon after that and literally anything can set her off. When I'm a parent, I can assure you, I will not be laying a finger on my child/children in that manner unless it is truly necessary. If they come home with a bad grade, I'll encourage not attack. I mean, fear is a powerful tactic, but at a high cost. Not that anyone really notices what it's done to me because I hide it pretty well, but you know, stuff slips through.

Also, this:



I want you to write all this down on paper. Every last word. Go on, do it! Take a picture of it and upload it for all of us to see.

Then I want you to take that piece of paper with all those words, and RIP IT APART. And then take those shredded pieces of paper, and BURN THEM IN A FIRE UNTIL NOTHING IS LEFT. And you bet I want pictures of that too!

Everything in that passage above is CANCER. And it will consume you and eat you alive unless you FIGHT IT and DRIVE IT OUT OF YOU. So write it down on paper. Let those words take physical form, as if you're sucking the poison out of yourself and putting it somewhere else. And then DESTROY IT, to the soundtrack of heavy thrash metal music if that helps! Because you can't keep thinking that way. No one here wants you to think that way.

We want to see you happy and hey, there's no better time to change right here, right now. You can change for the better, and it starts with believing in yourself that you can and you truly want to. And I KNOW you can and truly want to.

You're a fantastic human being and don't let anyone ever tell you otherwise. Now go out there and make a great PMD comic!

mm… well I can't right now because it's kind of midnight and if I leave this bed for any purpose other than using the bathroom, my mom will be after me like a teacher in Yandere Simulator. I can try another time though. I won't be burning anything though for the main reason being I don't know how to use the lighters at my house and I'd prefer not to set something on fire on purpose unsupervised.

It might be cancer but defying that mentality will take much more effort than you would think. I am a chained angel, trapped here by my own obedience. My mask of fear prevents anyone from seeing when I have shed a tear. I may want to change and it may be best for me to change, but that doesn't mean I can. Plus, I'm happy when other people are happy. So if y'all are happy then I'm happy. I see no problem with that mentality. I may be an emotional parasite but that has never stopped me from living before.