Oh @Lychee, I’m sö̲͎̪͔̜ͯ͑͋̈́̃ͦͤ s̬͖̋̾̾̃̎̏ͫo̦̺̖͈̞͆̍r̺̥͍̼̐ͭ̌͐ͭr̻̭͎̫̳̘̣y͋͗! Guess what’s worsḙ͇̰͍̺͇̃̐͛̕ than Friday the 13th, 2020? Saturday the 14th, 2020! Wḙ͇̰͍̺͇̃̐͛̕ll, at least just for you anyway!
Nico the Cinccino has been up and ṣ̐l͎̣͉͆a̦͇̗̼̗̎͊͌̔̋ụ͓̯͒͐g̠̲̈̅̂̾ͧh͓͈̰̯͎̮̭̐ͬͩ͗t̑͋̈ͣ ͆e͆ͨ̔̈̄ṛ̠͕̪̾̈̂̐e͕̞̣͓͍̲͕̎ͩͩ̑̒̎d͍̯͙͕̠͖̒̏͛ͨͦ̋ by the Stalkers!!
OMG, yes, players like you can be targeted by the Stalkers! It’s so much more fuņ̮̰̯͖̬̤̫͑͒ͫ͑͜ this way, don’t you think? But hey, here you are taking one fö̲͎̪͔̜ͯ͑͋̈́̃ͦͤr the team and everyone else in town! Like a champ! You’re tonight’s Stalker v͕͛i̺̖̎̏ͅc̳͕̀̅͌t͍͛̉ͦͦ̐i̘̟̮͌͋̆ͮ̂̃̄ṃ̝ͫ̏̓̓͗ and thanks to you, no one else has to be!
It honestly seemed like everything was perfectly happy and finḙ͇̰͍̺͇̃̐͛̕ on your way back from the Aurorawatch Military Cö̲͎̪͔̜ͯ͑͋̈́̃ͦͤmpound! You were even able to see the steel mill in the distance as you happily skipped back to base with a bit of a skip in your step from a productive night of baffling two idiot guards that should be fired and from you getting to see the inside of the palace. Hey, only the rich and over-privileged get to see that!
You wereņ̮̰̯͖̬̤̫͑͒ͫ͑͜’t even thinking about what was around you as you were heading back to base! Heck, you could have stepped in a big warm pile of Pika-doo and yö̲͎̪͔̜ͯ͑͋̈́̃ͦͤu wouldn’t have even ņ̮̰̯͖̬̤̫͑͒ͫ͑͜oticed! You didn’t even stop to see how alone you were with no one watching!
Actually, you weren’t ȁ̗͈̫̂̊l̻̟̹̙̳o̤͕̓́ͭ̍ͭ̏n̟̬̔̋ͫ͗ͯ̈́̊e͍̪̞͚̠̪!̭̘͔̦̇̂
You werḙ͇̰͍̺͇̃̐͛̕ smiling oh so cutely and then…!
Nico came down with a s̗̞̘̬̀̄ͬ̇ḛ̹̙̱̺̥̲͐v̼͍̙̊͂ͩͣ̋̐̎e̠̼̟̹͖̅r̘̠͈͉̗̮̒ͯe̤͛ͤͪ ̫̭̖ case of deadņ̮̰̯͖̬̤̫͑͒ͫ͑͜ess!
It was a lovely mö̲͎̪͔̜ͯ͑͋̈́̃ͦͤrning! Aurorawatch was ḙ͇̰͍̺͇̃̐͛̕njoying the warm dusty air of Exacta, looking forward to investigating yet another crime scene! Word is they still haven’t gotteņ̮̰̯͖̬̤̫͑͒ͫ͑͜ used to this! And m͓̝͈͇ͅo̱̗͉̎ṇ̞̟̋s̮̥̺͖͉̩̩̄ͯ̅ͮ͒͗t̻͂r̘͎͕̰̗ͮo̓ͥ̎̉ù̎͊̏ ̮̘ͧs̳̬̥̣̲̱͉̎̎͋̽̋l͂̓̃͒y̙̟̍ͯ̅ͧ huge fuzzball himself, Crez the Whimsicö̲͎̪͔̜ͯ͑͋̈́̃ͦͤtt, investigating the dead body of yet another huge fuzzball. You, Nico! Now don’t you feel special? See, if you ever wanted attention, all you needed to do was d̻̗̞̰̲͚̠̔̉̇ͩ̓̿i̼̠̰̹̺͚͂́e̲̫̬͖̓ͧͮ!̗͔͕̪̮͓
While Crez was just arriving to get iņ̮̰̯͖̬̤̫͑͒ͫ͑͜ on the fun, Initiate Rali the Treecko and Squire Tḙ͇̰͍̺͇̃̐͛̕cker the Pelipper were already on the scene! Oh, and yö̲͎̪͔̜ͯ͑͋̈́̃ͦͤu were there too, Nico! You get to play the victim role! Don’t worry, all you need to do is just lay there, no script rehearsing necessary! E̲͓͇̼̜̭͚ͮạ̘̰̪̬͊͋͗̐ͮs̠͍ͦͫͅy̰̖͓̼͙̹̤͛̿ͧ͐̓͊̐ ͔͓͉̗̔̎͂ͧͯ͐̚p̲̭ͨeͭ͒̅̐ͪͩͯa͓̫͉͒͆̓ͮ̉s̪ͦͣ̇͒ͫ̋ͪy̽̓͂!͚̱́̓ ͙̙̬͕̭
“Whoa, this is bad…” Crez stated coldly, winning Understatement of the Year Award. “What happened to this poor Cinccino dude?”
“I think he’s dead,” Tecker replied, stating the obvious like a bubbling numbnut! “Well, I mean, I guess he can’t bḛ̠̭́̈̋ͦ̀͗͋̾͘ alive if there’s a giant lumberjack axe in his skull.”
It was true. There really was a giant, shiny lumberjack axe nestled in your skull all cozy-like! Turns out your brain is nice, sö̲͎̪͔̜ͯ͑͋̈́̃ͦͤft, squishy, and warm. Like a cushy beanbag! You should see the look on your face, it’s all like [i]”guh, there’s a giant axe in my head, uhh… guḛ̠̭́̈̋ͦ̀͗͋̾͘ss I’ll take a nap now! Zzzzz!” Who are you to go to bed before brushing your teeth!? Gross!
“Uh, yeah, we… found this…” Rali muttered nervously as she sheepishly passed a piece of paper to Crez. “I… uh… it’s probably from… O-Obscene…”
“Ho boy,” Crez sighed, unfolding the paper before reading it aloud!
“Once upon a time under a starry sky. Skipped along Nico the Cinccino with a twinkle in his eye. Fuzzy and cuddly, so pleasantly bubbly, ö̲͎̪͔̜ͯ͑͋̈́̃ͦͤh what a night to die!
Happy hḛ̠̭́̈̋ͦ̀͗͋̾͘ was, skipping back home, happy he was, but all alone! The loveable fluff, thought he was tough, didn’t feel a chill in his bö̲͎̪͔̜ͯ͑͋̈́̃ͦͤne! But then came Lumberjack Lee, a most jovial Lombre, he just couldn’t relax, grabbed his trusty axe, and by golly thought Nico was a tree!
Go get some lumber, Lee, you know you should! But what the axe hit sure wasn’t wood! Down on Nico’s head, and now Nico’s dead, but that’s how it goes iņ̮̰̯͖̬̤̫͑͒ͫ͑͜ the neighborhood!”
Crez just sighed and folded up the paper before pocketing it. Aww, I don’t think he liked it! Well, hopefully you did! Way mö̲͎̪͔̜ͯ͑͋̈́̃ͦͤre fun than just a newspaper obituary, don’t you think?
That’s all, folks, back to your regularly-schedulḛ̠̭́̈̋ͦ̀͗͋̾͘d madness! Ciao!
Doom Trackḛ̠̭́̈̋ͦ̀͗͋̾͘r:
2/40
Nico the Cinccino (S: Normal)
Health: 16/16 |
Sanity: 15/20 |
Purity: 24/24
Battle Stance: Ferocious
Perk: Diplomacy |
Abilities:
EQUIPMENT:
Attack Weapon: [|AW| Rogue’s Dagger] (Adds 3 damage to successful attack rolls)
Defense Armor: <Empty>
Jewelry: <Empty>
Utopian Aspect: <Empty>
MERCENARIES:
#1: <Empty>
#2: <Empty>
PACK:
- [OMEN Sample Collection Jar]
- [|AW| Worn Officer’s Blade] (Adds 1d6 damage to successful attack rolls)
Inveņ̮̰̯͖̬̤̫͑͒ͫ͑͜tory Losses
<None> (both the Roguḛ̠̭́̈̋ͦ̀͗͋̾͘’s Dagger and the Worn Officer’s Blade rolled successful preservation rolls! Wow, you got lucky! Actually, I can’t really say that.)
Nico has been reincarņ̮̰̯͖̬̤̫͑͒ͫ͑͜ated as…
Nico the Snorlax (L: Normal)
Health: 24/24 |
Sanity: 15/20 |
Purity: 16/16
Battle Stance: Ferocious
Perk: Diplomacy |
Abilities:
EQUIPMENT:
Attack Weapon: [|AW| Rogue’s Dagger] (Adds 3 damage to successful attack rolls)
Defense Armor: <Empty>
Jewelry: <Empty>
Utopian Aspect: <Empty>
MERCENARIES:
#1: <Empty>
#2: <Empty>
PACK:
- [OMEN Sample Collection Jar]
- [|AW| Worn Officer’s Blade] (Adds 1d6 damage to successful attack rolls)
Oh yeah, that lö̲͎̪͔̜ͯ͑͋̈́̃ͦͤok is totally you, Nicö̲͎̪͔̜ͯ͑͋̈́̃ͦͤ! Get out thḛ̠̭́̈̋ͦ̀͗͋̾͘re and go mͯ͛ͨ̾̊ͩ͛u̱̞͎̳͕͚ͨ̀̓̌̒̈́ͅr̥̖̙ͅd̟ͥ̔̿̆̇̚e̬̠͇̝͈̊̓̄͂̆r͌͊ͭ ̫̯̦̻̟͚̪̾ a buffet!
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