The Squawkers RPG - The Main Action and Team Status Thread of Candy Madness! [NOW LIVE AND INSANE!]

**Neo Emolga** · 05-26-2018, 02:07 AM

Originally Posted by Cipher the Ninetales

Sweet Arceus, this town and these "Squawkers." I swear I've never seen something so ridiculous in my life.

I'll see what going on in this (41) Magical Toot Park of Toots and Tooting.

It is ridiculous, isn't it!?

You take advantage of the nice, normal weather and head over to the insane Magical Toot Park of Toots and Tooting and you hear them before you even get to the park. Toots. All from visitors picking up little pipes of various sizes and not resisting the temptation to blow into them. The whole place is a chorus of toots and there's no semblance of a song trying to be created.

The rest of the park is normal, though! Nice maple, oak, elm, and willow trees give the place a cozy and homey feeling. It's quite refreshing from the candied crapola all over the rest of the town. Normal park benches of various sizes for various Pokémon, and plenty of grass patches to relax. Only problem is the tooting is coming from everywhere. And it's the kind of thing that if you spend too much time here, you'll probably hear it in your sleep. You search through the park, but you don't find anything peculiar or nifty at first.

And then you find IT. What looks like a cement stone storage shed is actually something... not so pleasant when you find the front door...

#Super Cuteness Radiation! - ROCK (+5 Overwhelming Cuteness)# Trap 15% Evasion Test: 48 out of 100: FAILED!

Cipher has racked up 8 points of Overwhelming Cuteness! Amplified because you can't take the rockin' and rollin' but reduced a bit from the Vexing Amulet!

GAWD, you are SMOTHERED by a hideous wave of kawaii-inducing nonsense that flushes over you and makes you feel... ridiculous. You've never felt like this in your life and it just bothers the hell out of you. You look up, adorable and fluffy now, and look at the madness that just did this to you.

This door, made of stone, seems to be containing cute and nefarious. There are circular engravings here depicting adorable kittens and bunnies, but the mount is obstructed by rocks and crap.

#{Stone Door of Unstoppable Cuteness!: Missing Token of Tactical Anime Kittens AND Missing Token of Kawaii Anime Bunnies AND +Rock Type+} Super Cuteness Radiation! - ROCK (+5 Overwhelming Cuteness)#

You just decide to run out of there before it decides to do that again, which you're pretty sure would just outright KILL YOU. Right now, you feel like the most adorable Ninetales on the planet and it's not a feeling that settles well with you. You're also feeling wary about wanting to find out what's in that place to begin with.

Cipher the Ninetales (M: Fire)

Classy: Humiliation Commando
Style: Desperado Cowboy/Cowgirl (4 DMG, 75% CoH)
Goodies #1: %Vexing Amulet (-2 Overwhelming Cuteness for each instance of affliction)%
Goodies #2: %Prismatic Guard (+4 Max Belly)%
Belly: 0/14 (10+4)
Overwhelming Cuteness: 8/10
Groovy Abilities: Stealth Mode | Perky Stuff!: Browser History Hacking

**Neo Emolga** · 05-26-2018, 02:17 AM

Originally Posted by Scytherwolf

Gonna work out, cuteness is too high.

You wisely decide to work it out, especially when you see Cipher come back, who left perfectly fine and badass, but now looks all super fluffy and mega adorable. You decide going FULL DARKER THAN BLACK seems ideal and you figure playing with your evil inside might be fun.

You temporarily name yourself WARBORNE HELLBEAST and fire up some thrashing death metal and get your full freaky feral thing on. You grind barbell weights with your teeth like they were cookies and then use your magic to conjure a beautiful peach tree... just before BURNING IT DOWN by coughing up black fire and flames. You blow up a planet with your laser eyes of evil and summon a demon fresh out of hell only to blow him up as well just for funsies!

It's very effective in making that cuteness shed right off!

Carly has eradicated .5 points of Belly and 2 points of Overwhelming Cuteness!

Oooh, that felt really good! Those cuteness blues are melting away!

Carly the Courageous Growlithe (M: Fire)

Classy: Slappy Happy Classy
Style: Trigger Happy (2 DMG, 100% CoH)
Goodies #1: <Empty>
Goodies #2: <Empty>
Belly: 0/10
Overwhelming Cuteness: 5.5/10
Groovy Abilities: Reincarnate | Perky Stuff!: Memes

**Neo Emolga** · 05-26-2018, 02:43 AM

Originally Posted by VeloJello

If Hude turns out to not be Al like I'm thinking, this is going to be pretty embarrassing, eh?

Search (12c) Shut Up And Sleep Hotel (CANDY) Floors 9-12.

You're just loving that vanilla pudding, aren't you? I know, I'd like it too, but thankfully I'm safely watching from the narrator box.

Speaking of which...

@Creamy Vanilla Pudding Deliciousness! - NORMAL (+2 Belly)@
Velo keeps getting that satisfaction with 2 Belly points from the Creamy Vanilla Pudding Deliciousness!

Mmmmmmm, so creamy and lovely!

You get your usual pudding snack and then head up to the highest floors of the hotel. You're actually getting pretty darn good at this "navigate through the pudding without plummeting through the floor" game! Maybe they'll make it an Olympic event someday!

The ninth floor doesn't have too much to offer besides that yummy vanilla goo you've been enjoying. Well, that's a lie, you find a "Stupid Cookie" t-shirt that looks like it bought from a tourist souvenir shop. Figures this moronic thing was the only thing that survived when really it should have probably been part of the vanilla pudding floor that feels like waddling through a thick, creamy sea.

The tenth floor is mainly a mess as well and so is the eleventh. It almost seems like you're not going to find anything left in this place, but when you get to the twelfth floor, you see there's actually another Pokémon still living here in one of the hotel rooms! Or... what used to be a hotel room. At first you're surprised to find the Whimsicott just relaxing on his vanilla pudding bed of goo and you almost mistake his fluff for being more pudding, but he sees you and seems a bit surprised, but still relaxed for the most part.

"Hey there," he tells you. "Name's Fuzzball. And you... well heck, you're one big Lugia! That's not something you see every day!"

"These stupid 'Squawkers' totally ruined my vacation," Fuzzball sighs. "And this kind of situation has made it clear I can't exactly go to the front desk and get my money back. Phooey."

He then gets an idea and decides to make a deal with you.

"Say there," Fuzzball smiles at you. "I burned roughly $700 Snax$ on this hotel room and all the luggage, clothing, and stuff that's now just this vanilla goo. That includes my darn airplane ticket! And of course, my wallet, my phone, and all the other stuff I need to get out of here. If you give me that $700 Snax$, I'll help you guys! Though I know it's not exactly safe work considering what I've seen them do to Pokémon. But for that kind of money, I'll consider it. What do ya say!?"

$[Fuzzball the Whimsicott Merc] 700 Snax$

You tell him you'll think it over for now.

"That's fine," he shrugs, not really bothered by it. "I don't really have anywhere else to go right now, but if you decide to go for it, I'll be on board!"

You then head back to Peep base, contemplating the idea of recruiting Fuzzball as a helper.

Velo the Heroic Lugia (L: Psychic/Flying)

Classy: Guardian Snow Angel
Style: Puns of Anarchy (Overwhelming Cuteness -3 on each Enemy Attack)
Goodies #1: <Empty>
Goodies #2: <Empty>
Belly: 4/12
Overwhelming Cuteness: 1/8
Groovy Abilities: Amigo Mode | Perky Stuff!: Hardcore Parkour

**Neo Emolga** · 05-28-2018, 03:32 AM

Originally Posted by Noblejanobii

Gotta pump some iron. Can’t risk gettin too cute.

You grab a barbell, but instead of actually pumping iron, you suddenly get the urge to just gnash away at it with your teeth, grinding away at it with your EVIL. It is such a wonderful experience that you record yourself and upload it online to share with all your friends and family, who are now disturbed. You then spit fire, smelt down the metal, and then forge a dark, evil metallic sculpture of yourself breathing fire and anger.

Madder has grown stronger with the dark side of the Force and has destroyed 2 points of Overwhelming Cuteness!

You feel... g̵͖̥̯͕͘o̶̥͎͇̙̤͉̻͢o͓̤͜͟͡o̹̲͢͡o̵͍͎̰͉͔̙̲̱͠o̡̝̮̺̬̙̺͝o̷ ̖͖̬͚̘͖͟ͅd̸͉̝͈̪͓͎͜ͅ.̩͚̘̞̥͈̲̙̗. You let loose your best and evilest maniacal laugh, which makes you feel all warm and fuzzy inside. >:3

Madder the Devious Mimikyu (S: Ghost/Fairy)

Classy: Humiliation Commando
Style: Desperado Cowboy (4 DMG, 75% CoH)
Goodies #1: <Empty>
Goodies #2: <Empty>
Belly: 0/8
Overwhelming Cuteness: 6.75/12
Groovy Abilities: Stealth Mode | Perky Stuff!: Browser History Hacking

**Neo Emolga** · 05-28-2018, 02:53 PM

Originally Posted by Chakramaster

I'm gonna use Reincarnate on Fírnen. We need all the help we can get right now.

Mhua, ha, ha, of course you do!

NEO PACHIRISU'S CURRENT STATE IS:

CHEERFUL AND AMBITIOUS!
Mmm, I guess it is nice to enjoy Memorial Day off. Can't complain about that now! The other nice thing is it means only four work days until next weekend!

Poor Fírnen, he got Cinccino, which is a pretty great Pokémon, only to lose it because of cuteness. Okay, he hasn't been cruel to me, so I can't really make him crash and burn on this one. But I'll admit that I plugged "6" into a random Pokémon generator and picked the one that I think fits best.

You reach deep into the reaches of your spirit, align your chakras, and summon Fírnen's spirit to be instilled into a new body! Woo! Hey, look, he's forming into...!

The Creator has decided to resurrect @Shruikan as a...

ALOAN VULPIX!

Okay, I'll admit only regular Vulpix showed up in the randomizer, but I'm allowed to cheat at my own game and break all the technical barriers! DEAL WITH IT. You get frosty Vulpix instead of fiery Vulpix. More popsicles, less curry! More blizzards, less heat waves! More Anchorage, less Phoenix! Okay, I'll stop.

Now go back out there and have fun!

Fírnen the Incredible Aloan Vulpix (S: Ice)

Classy: Guardian Snow Angel
Style: Ecstatic About Static! (Player Explosions do not add to the Entertainment Level of Kawaii Armageddon Event #2)
Goodies #1: <Empty>
Goodies #2: <Empty>
Belly: 0/8
Overwhelming Cuteness: 0/12
Groovy Abilities: Amigo Mode | Perky Stuff!: Hollywood Shenanigans

As for you, Mister Soren, you feel better about yourself. Reward yourself by wearing fresh clothing today rather than what's been lying on the floor for the past week! You deserve it!

Soren the Valiant Jirachi (S: Steel/Psychic)

Classy: Humiliation Commando
Style: Desperado Cowboy (4 DMG, 75% CoH)
Goodies #1: %Staryu Hair Clip%
Goodies #2: <Empty>
Belly: 0/8
Overwhelming Cuteness: 0/12
Groovy Abilities: Reincarnate | Perky Stuff!: Hollywood Movie Shenanigans

**Neo Emolga** · 05-28-2018, 03:16 PM

Originally Posted by ARandomTool

Bless gently lifted a shard from the gooey mess that used to be Nicklefool in her teeth. She had made his last moments so EXCRUCIATING that he had condensed his power into a tiny gem, to come back from death eventually. Normally he would have just melted away, but hey, Bless liked this crazy buffoon for some reason, so she had done him some hurt so she could ~~have someone to play as in the next round~~ release him back into this accursed tourist trap when this all was over. This town needed a proper demon possessing it.
When she got back to base, gem under her tongue and key ring in her mouth, she noted the Ninetales in the room. She nodded, glad to have someone else who understood that this was the worst time they had had since being frozen in a statue. Well, or something comparable.
She looked over at the map after dropping the pink crystal in the pink carpet of her pink room and spending about an hour trying to find it, ripping out everything that annoyed her as well. Her room was now a survivor of a class 6 hurricane, rather than a pretty pretty ballerina. That's where the casino was, then. With the keys STILL in her mouth (she almost started to like the metallic tang of the metal, Bless noticed), she went off to get that weedwacker from (18a) The Glam Glam Casino Parking Lot (CANDY). At least, she hoped the landscaping truck was there, and not crashed into the main building...

You slip on your shades and head over to the Glam Glam Casino parking lot where you make a shocking discovery! Well, it's crazy chocolate now. You imagine it uses a whole lot less electricity and water, but still. Though you take a curious lick at a big SUV that's now a big chocolate pile and...

@Chocolate Extravaganza - DARK (+3 Belly)@
Bless has slapped on 1.5 points of Belly! Reduced damage because you're already a Jedi Master with the dark side of the Force!

It's... okay. You get tired of it quickly and you get that feeling of tongue boredom. Kind of like eating matzahs without salt or butter. A real taste snooze.

You plunder around the parking lot, looking for a landscaping truck that matches the set of keys you got after eradicating Nicklefool like you toasted his rear and summoned Exodia on him while flipping the birdie on his whole clown family.

And then you find it! It's like one of two vehicles that somehow avoided getting turned into chocolate pasty goo. It's the Awesome Bellossom landscaping truck, which features a winking cartoon Bellossom mascot as she gracefully waters a bed of tulips with a bright blue watering can! I mean, it would be a whole lot nicer if...

...the whole thing wasn't smothered with chocolate sauce and icing goo because of the rest of this mess.

You take the keys and manage to unlock the truck! With a satisfying click, the locks have been disengaged!

{Icing-Coated The Awesome Bellossom Landscaping Truck: +Water Type+ AND ~~It's locked and needs a freakin' key fob~~}

[Landscaping Truck Key Fob] has been cleaned out of the Team Pile! I mean, you can drive it later if you really want to, but this doesn't have any effect on the game!

You try to open the door, but you realize it's not the door lock that's keeping it shut. The blasted chocolate icing all over it has dried and it's chocolately sugary madness has sealed it shut. You imagine a water type might be able to hose it down and fix this problem, but you're one with the dark side of the Force and as wonderful as this is, it doesn't do anything to wash the truck off. You even try Force Lightning and no dice. There's just no such thing as Force Water. Or Force Rain Shower. Or Force Garden Hose.

You grit your teeth, but you decide to head back to Peep Base and plot your nefarious deeds for tonight!

Bless the Edgy Umbreon (M: Dark)

Classy: Guardian Snow Angel
Style: The Puns of Anarchy (Overwhelming Cuteness -3 on each Enemy Attack)
Goodies #1: %Sugarcoated Commando Body Armor (+1 MAX Belly)%
Goodies #2: <Empty>
Belly: 1.5/11 (10+1)
Overwhelming Cuteness: 1/10
Groovy Abilities: Reincarnate | Perky Stuff!: Killjoy Master

**Neo Emolga** · 05-28-2018, 05:17 PM

Originally Posted by Ladybugclue

AND A ONE MORE TIME! Explore 64c.

You cruise on back to It's Better down Where It's Wetter! Apartments where you decide to plunder and prowl through the upper floors to see what these sneaky, guile, and bizarre water Pokémon are hiding.

You scavenge through the ninth floor, but you don't find all too much of interest, though you find it strange there's a Milotic that lives here and she collects underwear that obviously she wouldn't fit into. And there's a Marshstomp that keeps a barbecue grill down here. Like how is he... just forget it.

On the tenth floor, you find one of the water Pokémon here didn't realize you can't raise cactus plants underwater. And brewing coffee would be difficult.

On the eleventh floor, it gets even better when you come across one apartment that looks like it was recently evacuated. Ever try blowing a flute or a clarinet underwater? You even try it and it fails. Hilariously. Although when you look through the sheet music, it seems a little more useful. Whether or not you consider yourself a flute expert, it seems like it would be interesting to try!

[Awesomeness Flute Song Sheet Music] was added to the Team Pile!

You then move onto the twelfth floor and you feel maybe there's a chance something else might be here. However, after finding yet another Pokémon doesn't understand that flying pans and tiki torches aren't going to work in the sea, you decide to head out and return to your treasured bubble gum. It's been waiting for you!

Marta the Marvelous Buizel (M: Water)

Classy: Humiliation Commando
Style: Crusher Crazy (6 DMG, 50% CoH)
Goodies #1: <Empty>
Goodies #2: <Empty>
Belly: 0/10
Overwhelming Cuteness: 5/10
Groovy Abilities: Stealth Mode | Perky Stuff!: Death Metal

**Neo Emolga** · 05-28-2018, 05:42 PM

Originally Posted by Shruikan

(Am I allowed to post my action if I'm currently dead? I'll be alive by the time it gets to my turn, so I don't see why not...)

So if I'm allowed to post in advance, once I'm revived I'll have a look around (6) Stuff Your Gut Grocery Exterior and Main Building (CANDY) If I'm not, then I guess I'll lie around all day instead and you can ignore this.

Heroes never die! It's all good.

You head over to STUFF YOUR GUT GROCERY, where yes, the Squawkers weren't nice to this place either. Oddly enough, the owner, Dinkydee the Hydreigon, absolutely refuses to close. He even claims his desserts are better when... well splat, they're for free all over town. His whole grocery is made of layer cake! What is this madness!?

You know, you can't help but wonder about that layer cake...

@Cake Calamity - GROUND (+2 Belly)@
Fírnen has packed on 4 points of Belly! Amplified because super yummy delicious layer cake makes your tongue do a happy dance!

Oh Atlanta, it's scrumptious! You get many good nibbles out of that and the taste just makes you giggle and dance! I mean heck, you eat like half the front door away before Dinkydee himself looks down on you, looking most unpleased.

"WOULD YOU NOT!?" he shouts.

And you just look at him, flushing with cute embarrassment.

You then check out the rest of the grocery store, and it's... all desserts. Stuff that used to be actual food that wasn't the dessert food it is now. And now it's being sold as "better than then usual Squawker garbage" when really... isn't it still the usual "Squawker garbage?"

STUFF YOUR GUT GROCERY
$~[Funky Marshmallow Goo That Used To Be Milk! - NORMAL (+2 Belly)]~ 150 Snax$
$~[Chocolate Chunks That Used to be Beans! - GROUND (+2 Belly)]~ 250 Snax$
$~[Marzipan That Used to be Fruit! - GRASS (+2 Belly)]~ 225 Snax$
$~[Chocolate That Used to be Coffee - GROUND (+2 Belly)]~ 150 Snax$

And it's like this all over the place, leaving your jaw hanging out in shock. You then look to Dinkydee and truly question his sanity and wonder why he doesn't just accept his losses and start over. I mean really, why spend 250 Snax on chocolate when you can just take a big ol' bite out of the police station or one of the many other chocolate creations of madness the Squawkers created? He might as well be trying to sell air and sleep!

You decide to head out, praying for Dinkydee's family and sending good vibes their way.

Fírnen the Incredible Aloan Vulpix (S: Ice)

Classy: Guardian Snow Angel
Style: Ecstatic About Static! (Player Explosions do not add to the Entertainment Level of Kawaii Armageddon Event #2)
Goodies #1: <Empty>
Goodies #2: <Empty>
Belly: 4/8
Overwhelming Cuteness: 0/12
Groovy Abilities: Amigo Mode | Perky Stuff!: Hollywood Shenanigans

**Neo Emolga** · 05-28-2018, 05:48 PM

Night has fallen in Booplesnoot!
Submit your Day 8: Night Cycle Actions now!

This Evening's Weather Is...
Apocalyptic Superstorm of Gooey Chocolate Cheesecakes and Dazzling Rainbows!
It’s a savage +6 to Belly and +6 to Overwhelming Cuteness if you venture out! Might be better to just hunker down and spend the day doing a Fitness Workout! unless you really, really need to head out there!

Time Remaining: