Grudges

[Saraibre Ryu]

nor did I ever say I am holding a grudge against anyone or anything right now.

I carry a lot of grudges around with me.

*cough*


Also I don't see what 'picking the popular side' has to do with some people's morale choices. If not holding grudges was the popular thing to do, a lot more people would be doing it, to act on it. They aren't, otherwise there would be a lot less hate in this world. Again, how is making a decision to hold ill will against someone natural? I don't see the animals hunted off holding a grudge to the hunters that kill them for sport and fun. It's a product. Also I don't see how this is a fluff topic either.

Anyone who says you have to let something go is ignoring the amazing things that have been done through anger and bitterness.

Amazing things? Like what, war? Discrimination against minority groups that want equal rights? The positive things created in war were made by the people who were out to defend themselves and their people, such as the freedom you mentioned earlier. Not because they were just bitter about the other side and mad at them. People vouching for equal rights as a minority in the past did it because they didn't like how things were going and wanted a better life for themselves and fairness. You mentioned some paintings and artwork, but those weren't created because someone put pure anger into it. They transformed the emotion and energy and translated it into an alternative expression, as such what art itself is: an expression of a person in an alternate form. Direct anger and bitterness creates resentment and these grudges. I've done it, but I haven't done art because I was angry or bitter, I did it because I wanted to divert that energy to something else.

Are negative things necessary in life, such as anger and sadness and pain? Yes, because they define what is positive and teach the value of the positive things. Again, a grudge is a choice, and choosing to be negative is never a good thing.

Also even if I did live with extremely feelings..look at my presence on the forum look all the things I have done just on this site. You look at that and tell me that grudges are holding me back ;)

I did not nor specifically state that a grudge holds the entirety of a person back. It inhibits growth.

I'm not going to go into much detail into what you've done because that's a long list for the site, but I doubt you did them because you were angry or bitter at PXR. That was probably the last thing on your mind. I know that no one can do the forum 24/7 either, there are other things in your real life that you must do. It's not my place to say how your life works because I don't know it. The forum is one place though, not the single thing a person interacts with for their whole life.

Also, as far as one sided minded go, I fail to see how I'm one sided in mind when I've lived in nothing but extreme bitterness and anger for years and seen what it's done. Those are details I do not want to get in to.

[Rival Max]

*Did you think that was serious? Normally, words like this followed by emoticons are taken as a joke. That was and obvious joke meant for my friend Absol ;) Not sure why you dont get that im just defending the other side of the coin, or why you think any of what I said warranted the above insults (referring to the last couple of responses).. Not respecting others opinions makes for unneeded tension.

I completely get what everyone is saying. I already understand all of that, emotions come in steps, with one thing you cant have the other. How can you learn from pain or your anger or the rotten things you are going to do. If life was so simple that you could just forgive and forget everything.
I consider myself close to be a Buddhist for a long time. I dont like violence in anyway shape or form. Buddhism is about balance, everything your going to do is part of you and you must accept that. Just like getting past a grudge things take time and understanding. The grudge and those feelings are just as important as the journey it takes to forgiveness. You can never really understand you unless you can respect the bad side of your choices and the things that trigger those reactions. You can learn to accept them.

However as a person who likes to view the world as it is, some of the worst things in the world have been accepted because they moved something forward. Not saying they were right but everything has bad and everything has good. I really didnt want this to be an argument but it seems that this is a subject that is more close minded that open for an open discussion. I think its important every thought should be explored, even the crappy stuff deserves a place in this because all of us have had to go through stuff that shaped us both for good and for bad.
With this I will stop talking on this thread because I fear its only making things worse..lol and despite all that I have said about forgiveness being important being part of a witch hunt is never fun.

[Grassy_Aggron]

Perhaps Dredd they would be more willing to listen to you if you did not word things in such a condescending way. I do not mean to be insulting here, but calling it a "fluff" topic, or the emotion of joy "fluff", stating that everyone is being "close minded", all come off as being antagonistic and is going to be rewarded with responses, often negative. Everyone has stated their opinions but in no way were they close minded, deriving their knowledge from personal experience. You seem to neglect that and choose to believe that because they won't agree with you and continue to argue their points, they are being close minded.

Grudges do hold you back. Wallowing in anger only makes you focus on ways to get back at that person, and often can make you terrified of whatever it is they did to harm you. Have I held grudges? Yes, I have. I currently hold one against my father, although it only flares when he tries to contact me and I am steadily on my way to getting over it. Will it eventually turn to forgiveness... probably not, but the least I can do is let it go. All I feel is anger and pain, crying, whenever I get contacted. It is not a feeling I want nor one I care for, and it certainly isn't healthy for me (especially if you know how high strung I am!).

In this way, "forgiveness" can simply be a view of letting it go, rather than saying "I forgive you man, hug!". They both achieve the same thing, although true forgiveness is undoubtedly better for the soul and, for religious folks out there, getting a ride to...whatever good place your religion talks about.


I would also like to note nothing good comes from war itself. The products can be good and bad and usually are, but war, in itself, it never good. It causes loss of life, destruction of the environment and wildlife, and countless broken families. I never will view war in itself as being good, and I'm a bit angry you said that it was. My freedom may have come from war but it is exactly that - a product, and not the war itself, which is still bad in my opinion.


As for the whole thing about grudges creating art, I have to agree with Sabi and Sandstorm. Art was created by injecting the anger as an energy. I can say that when I am angry, writing for an angry character is much more satisfying and realistic, and I feel much better afterward. So, yeah :/


My two cents.

[Rival Max]

This argument is long over and solved between Sabi and I. It was attacks on both parts and bad wording on my part that got us here. So I can't respond to this any further. Its best for this threads focus to turn back to the focus and not my shanagans ..lol

[Suicune's Fire]

Oh Dredd. xD Causing trouble as always.

I think grudges are pretty poisonous. I have a hard time keeping them usually because my anger fades over time, but also because things people to do me or other people usually aren't bad enough to warrant long-term resentment. That being said, it has happened before of course, usually to people around me instead of me. So I don't usually like/appreciate the person who wronged my friend, so although I dislike them or their actions, I wouldn't hold it against them personally...in most cases. XD I think that if the person was asking for forgiveness, then I would pretty much always grant it. I would feel horrible if someone felt regret for something they did and I didn't forgive them. Then again, I suppose it depends what it was they did. I don't think I could bring myself to forgive anyone who murdered, like, my family or friends. xD Something like that, unless an accident, is just...too difficult to forgive. That's how I feel about it for me, I mean. It would be different for other people of course.

I dunno, it's dependent on the situation/person/etc I suppose, but in general, no, I don't hold grudges.


~SF.

[Pokeman]

I don't really have grudges, mainly because no one's ever pissed me off so bad that I would old it for such long periods of time. Besides, my anger doesn't linger for more than a day, really.

[PerseusRad]

I guess I do hold grudges now that I think about it. If people annoy me enough for me to get to that point, then yeah, I'll hold grudges. However, the people I hold grudges against haven't necessarily matured enough to be calm and serious, so, in say, 10 years, I probably won't hold any grudges against some guy who was a jerk in middle school. If I saw them, I wouldn't go run up an say hi, but I wouldn't flip him off.

[Blaquaza]

I hold grudges, but only if someone has done something pretty bad to me. To be honest, I've only held two long grudges in my life; I'm not in contact with one of those people anymore, and I'm almost forgiving the other one.

[The-Hydra]

I've been trying to holding grudges since I could walk. I wish, I wish I could, but I can't. So I guess I just have to have a happy relationship with everyone. Shucks.

[Corey]

I haven't read all of these long replies just so you know. /lazy xD

I do hold grudges. I still hold grudges from yeeeeaaars ago. It's not easy for me to let go, and I'm also I'm very sensitive and feel the hurt for quite a while. It's not a good way to live. :(