Our deepest fear - GCEA short story comp

[Brettles]

This story is based on the poem from "A Return to Love", by Marianne Williamson, which was made popular when it was used in a famous speech by Nelson Mandela.

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light not our darkness that most frightens us.
We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous,
talented and fabulous?

Actually, who are you not to be?
You are a child of God.
Your playing small does not serve the world.
There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other
people won't feel insecure around you.

We were born to make manifest the glory of
God that is within us.

It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone.
And as we let our own light shine,
we unconsciously give other people
permission to do the same.

As we are liberated from our own fear,
Our presence automatically liberates others.”


Brettles sat alone in the darkness. His only defence against the darkness was the poem taught to him by his parents as a young child. The words were a talisman against fear. He repeated them over and over again in the darkness while waiting for it all to start again.

How many times had he tried and failed?

How long had he been here?

It had been so long and he had forgotten so much. He could not remember anything beyond his failure, his fear and his inability to do anything at all to help those around him. Worst of all, the feeling that if he didn’t exist, it wouldn’t matter. The feeling that he didn’t matter.

He got halfway through the mantra when the darkness started lighten and there was a sudden flash of light.
Brettles sat in his chair waiting for his dinner, as impatient as any four year old. He was hungry and wanted food. He had been here before, but didn’t remember how or why.

His younger brother and sister were served first, but Brettles had to wait. He hated waiting. His eyes kept moving from the food on the table to the darkened window. Everything else was bright and happy. The other windows shone with bright sunlight, but that one window emanated a darkness that spoke fear to the soul. Why did no-one else notice it?

*Remember*

A strange voice broke through to Brettles’s mind, although no-one else even noticed it. ‘Remember what’ he thought as he waited hungrily for food.

He looked back at the window, his fear growing. The darkness seemed to spread enveloping the room. His father walked past the darkness and it grabbed him, dragging him into the pitch black nothingness.

Brettles tried to scream, but no sound came out.

The darkness spoke to him. ‘Sit there little boy and watch. I am the dark. I am fear. I am the end. You are powerless. Yield to me.’

Brettles wanted to fight and scream, but the voice was right. He knew it was right, as it had been right before countless time. The darkness would always win, because he was too weak, too unimportant.

The darkness crept forward and grabbed his sister and then his brother, dragging them into its depths and devouring them. The whole time it talked to him, letting him know that his end was coming, that he was powerless, that he didn’t matter.

*Fight*

The strange voice spoke again. ‘Fight’ thought Brettles. ‘Why bother, the darkness is too big. I am too small.’ He shrank back into his chair as his smiling mother brought his food to him. She didn’t notice the Darkness swelling behind her ready to strike. He wanted to warn her, but in his fear, his voice refused to work.

The darkness snatched his mother and swallowed her whole. Brettles watched in silent terror.

‘Weak! Worthless! Coward!’ the Darkness whispered its poison to Brettles as it filled the room. It surrounded him until he was alone in the darkness.

The memories came flooding back. He had sat through that meal countless times, always with the same result. Failure after failure. Watching the darkness of fear and futility swallow his family time and time again.

He sat in the darkness for an eternity as the details of what had happened faded, and all that was left was the feelings of failure, and of not mattering. Of not being able to help those who needed him.

He wept alone in the darkness of failure and futility. Knowing that his weakness was the cause of all the misery in not just his world, but the worlds of everyone he would meet. He tried to remember the words his parents had taught him and started to recite the poem.

The words comforted him, even though they felt hollow. He tried to hold onto them. Brilliant! Goergeous! Talented! Fabulous! The words seemed out of place for him. The darkness was right. He was a Stupid, unattractive, useless, unimpressive mess.

Some part of him, however, refused to let go of those precious words from his parents.

He held tight to the words as the Darkness tried to peel them away.

The darkness started lighten and there was a sudden flash of light.

Brettles sat in his chair waiting for his dinner, as impatient as any four year old. He was hungry and wanted food. He had been here before, but didn’t remember how or why.

His younger brother and sister were served first, but Brettles had to wait. He hated waiting. His eyes kept moving from the food on the table to the darkened window. Everything else was bright and happy. The other windows shone with bright sunlight, but that one window emanated a darkness that spoke fear to the soul. Why did no-one else notice it?

*Remember*

The strange voice itched at him. He recognised it, but couldn’t say where from. It had echoes of his father’s voice, with some of the harmonics of his mother. ‘Remember what?’ he thought to himself. He looked over his father who was walking past the darkened window.

‘Brilliant!’ the word came streaming into his head as he watched his father. The man who knew more about science than any other man Brettles knew. Who used that brilliance practically to create refuges for people on the community. These thoughts seemed far too complex for Brettles’s four year old mind, but somehow seemed to fit.
The darkness in the window snatched his father and swallowed him into darkness.

Brettles tried to scream, but no sound came out.

The darkness talked to him. ‘Brilliance can be snuffed out, little boy. All will yield to the darkness. No brilliance can save you here.’

Brettles looked at his sister. The girl whom he had played with, and watch grow. ‘Gorgeous!’ The girl with the heart of pure beauty. The girl who had grown into a beautiful young woman, even if in her teenage awkwardness she couldn’t always see it. Something felt odd about that thought as Brettles watched his 2 year old sister, but he couldn’t pick what it was.

The darkness struck out and swallowed his sister. Her Beauty snuffed out and buried in shadow. ‘There is no beauty here, little boy. Only horror and despair. Weep for you own inadequacy. Runt of a pathetic litter.’

Brettles’s eyes fell to his baby brother, sitting in his high chair with his bib. ‘Talented!’ The word seemed to sum up his brother. Whether it be on the football field or Pokemon battling, his little brother’s abilities had always been a source of pride to Brettles. In everything he did, his younger brother always found a way to succeed.

The Darkness ripped his brother into itself. ‘No Talent can save you, little boy! All will fail into the dark depths of despair.’

*Embrace*

The strange voice returned. Why did voice sound so familiar? Why was it so compelling? What did it want him to embrace? The loss of family? The loss of everything good? Some part of him knew what was coming next and would do anything to avoid it, but his eyes were still drawn to his mother.

She walked towards him smiling as she brought his food. His mother who was one of the most accomplished Pokemon trainers he knew. Who never backed down from a fight, and who still competed and won despite the responsibility of raising a family. She was just so …. ‘Fabulous!’ No matter what she faced, she faced it with flair and determination and made the whole world look at her in admiration.

Brettles’s heart sank as he watched the darkness swell behind his mother and crash over her like a monstrous wave in the surf. She was no more.

Grief and despair walled in him was the darkness surrounded him once more. The darkness folded around him, but this time just before the light faded completely, he heard the strange voice again. Faintly whispering.

*Embrace*

The darkness snapped tightly shut and the memories came flooding back. An infinite number of meals. All ending in darkness. All ending in defeat. All ending in the knowledge of his own worthlessness. All ending alone.

He sat alone and cried into the eternal darkness, knowing that once this eternal loneliness was over and he had once again forgotten all that had passed before, he would be forced to live it again. Lose everyone and everything he loved. Watch helplessly because he was unable to do anything.

He tried to recall the poem his parents had taught him, but it sounded hollow in his ears.

Brilliant? Not him. That was his father. The one who could work his mind around any problem and find a solution. Gorgeous? Definitely not. His sister was the one with heart who made her the most gorgeous girl he knew. Talented? Nope. Any talent he had was a candle beside the bonfire of his brother. Fabulous? He felt anything but. His mother would find a way to make the darkness fabulous, but he just sat there.

The dark eternity crept by, but something strange happened this time. He kept his thoughts on the beautiful aspects of his family. Brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous. They were no longer simple talismans to desperately hold on to. They were his family.

The darkness, usually so oppressive felt weaker now. He still couldn’t see anything, but that didn’t bother him. This time the darkness found no hold in his heart. His heart was filled instead with his family. He was no longer alone.

The darkness started lighten and there was a sudden flash of light.

Brettles sat in his chair waiting for his dinner, as impatient as any four year old. He was hungry and wanted food. He had been here before, but didn’t remember how or why.

His younger brother and sister were served first, but Brettles had to wait. He hated waiting. His eyes kept moving from the food on the table to the darkened window. Everything else was bright and happy. The other windows shone with bright sunlight, but that one window emanated a darkness that spoke fear to the soul. Why did no-one else notice it?

*Remember*

The strange voice spoke clearly. It was no longer strange though. It was more familiar to him than any other. It had echoes of his mother and father, of the time spent working in the POkemon food company, and of the time he spent fighting against the shadow as part of team Ruby. It was his own voice, a voice calling to him from within.

His father walked past the window and looked at Brettles. Brettles knew what was about to happen and knew that he could not stop it. He looked at his father and smiled. His father smiled at him and gave him a wink and a nod.
Then the darkness swallowed him.

This time Brettles did not try to scream or cry. He simply watched the darkness impassively.

‘Your father is gone, boy! He can’t help you. You are alone and helpless against the might of nothingness. I will swallow them all you know this.’

Then Brettles did something that he knew he had not attempted in an infinite variations of this nightmare. He addressed the darkness.

“I know what you have done. I know what you will do. I have seen it before, many times.”

The darkness flared in fury.

‘Then watch as I devour these and destroy your world.’ It screamed at Brettles.

The Shadow swirled around his sister like a whirlwind of deepest black. As she was sucked into the nothingness she flashed Brettles one last smile for him to hold onto.

‘You are nothing. You are weak. I am the darkness. I will devour all. You will fear me!’ The darkness screamed as it gathered into a powerful storm of oblivion.

Brettles smiled serenely at the gathering dark. “Of course I will fear you. You are very scary. But I don’t believe you will win this time.” He calmly said to the storm.

The darkness screamed and hurled itself at Brettles’ brother. His brother looked directly at Brettles grinned and gave him a thumbs-up before disappearing into the void.

‘All will fall. All will perish. All will go into darkness. The darkness cannot be defeated. Not by some scared little boy.’

The darkness whipped around the room as imposing as Brettles could ever remember it. He felt the fear rise in his heart, but also felt a comforting peace rise to battle it.

“You are right again. A scared little boy could never defeat the all-powerful darkness. I assume then, that is why you are so desperate to convince me that I am a powerless little boy.”

‘Now to lose your mother again, little boy.’ The storm screamed in fury and struck out at Brettles’ Mother.

It was rebuffed from her as she brought the food to her youngest son. It struck again and again, but some barrier seemed to Protect her as she approached her son.

“Wait a second, if you please.” Brettles said to the Darkness. “I have been missing this next part for what seems like countless eternities. You just wait your turn.”

The darkness swelled and stormed and unleashed its fury but could not touch Brettles’ mother as she leaned in and gave him a kiss on the cheek. “I’m proud of you, son.” She said.

“I know, mum. Thank you!”

The four year old Brettles turned to face the darkness. “Let’s finish this.”

The barrier between the darkness and his mother disappeared and he watched as his mother disappeared into the void.

All alone, the child faced the darkness.

‘You know how this goes, little boy. Grovel at the might of the darkness. There is nothing you can do to defeat me!’ the darkness swelled crowded around him.

“You keep telling me that I have no hope, that I am worthless and powerless. But, I have a secret that I think you should know.”

‘What! What secret little boy? What makes you think you can stand against the primal forces of darkness? Don’t you know how un-special you are? You are nothing a worthless little child in the face of power beyond your reckoning.’

The darkness was trying to envelop Brettles but found itself kept at bay by something. It raged and sought a way to reach Brettles but the child stood there, unconcerned.

“You have swallowed my Brilliant father, who is wise enough to think his way out of any problem. You have swallowed my gorgeous sister whose beautiful heart can outshine any darkness. You have swallowed my talented brother, who would never let a conceited bully like you defeat him. Finally you have swallowed my fabulous mother, who can bring a light to the darkest corner of the world. Surely, you must now see your error.”

‘What error, little boy?’ the Darkness seemed less sure of itself.

“You left me for last! My father taught me to be brilliant. My sister showed me how to be gorgeous. My brother shared his talents with me, and my Mother? She taught me to be fabulous.”

A flash of light exploded from the four year old and standing in his place was Brettles, the young man. Dresses in his trademark blue jeans and White T-shirt, the young man stared into the darkness daring it to attack.
The darkness shied away from the imposing figure standing ready to fight. It wanted to run, but instead threw itself in all its fury at Brettles.

‘So, the man comes out to fight, and the child has left. I would be impressed, but you are still one man against the legion of darkness.’

A second voice from the darkness called, ‘you are alone.’

A third voice, then a fourth and finally a legion of voices shouted at Brettles, telling him that it was futile. To just give up. The cacophony of negativity and despair tried to crush Brettles. But somehow, it couldn’t touch him.

“I am not alone.” Brettles spoke to the darkness.

“Let me show you my true brilliance.” With a flash of light Brettles’s father appeared beside him, shining a bright light from every inch of him and driving back the dark.

“My Gorgeousness!” Brettles’s 17 year old sister in her Pokemon trainer gear appeared and gave him a huge hug. She shined brightly and the darkness drew back.

“My Talent!” Brettles’s 16 year old brother appeared, heavily muscled and wearing his football gear. He smiled and gave Brettles a punch in the arm for good luck and shone his light into the darkness.

“And finally my Fabulousness!” Brettles’s mother appeared, shining like the midday sun.

The darkness had nowhere to hide from the shining light of Brettles’s family. It faded into a meningless speck, and with it the fear that held Brettles to this place dissipated.

“Well done son,” His father said. “I knew you would figure a way through this. I am very proud of you.” The image of his father faded away.

“That’ll teach them not to mess with my beautiful big brother” his sister said, giving him a big hug before she faded away.

“Hah, knock ‘em dead, Brettles. No-one messes with a us and walks away unscathed. You did good, Bro!” His older brother faded away.

Alone with his mother, Brettles enjoyed a great big mum-hug. “You are an amazing son. I couldn’t have asked for anyone better. I love you Brettles.” His mother faded, leaving Brettles alone.

The defeated speck of darkness spoke in a hesitant voice. 'How! How did you defeat me?'

Brettles looked at the speck. "I will always have to deal with fear, but the only power you have, is the power i choose to give you!" with that he turned his back on his fear and walked away.

He looked around and wondered where he was. This appeared to be the place he spent countless eternities in darkness, only now it was lit. He was in a giant room with only one door. He walked to the door and, not seeing any alternative opened it.


Everything faded to darkness as Brettles woozily regained consciousness. There were flashing lights and he was thirsty. A voice called out somewhere near him.

“Doctor, the patient in bed twelve is starting to regain consciousness.”

[Rival Max]

Another great story man..you want to give me some tips to good writing ?

[Brettles]

Thanks mate,
Not sure that I have any writing tips :)
I just really enjoyed this writing prompt

[[Desolate Divine]]

Review/Judgement

I really liked it Brettles! I especially liked the fact you linked it to the poem, and how it was the same scenario repeated with slight variation. Had a Majora's Mask feel to it. The only thing I could pull you up on was some spelling and grammar, but really, all in all, it was a good read!
★★★★☆