King of the Hill!

[The Nonexistent Tazz]

I abruptly return. The act of the original poster returning to the hill floors you all, turning you into floors. As you are now floors, carpenters come to collect you for flooring projects while I claim the hill.

MY HILL!

[Neo Emolga]

Le gasp. The legend returns!

Your magic spell turned me into a fine cherry wood floor, and while this would look great for the den, it's a less than ideal state of being for one such as myself. My prowess in voodoo allows me to change from this state back into my natural Emolga state, which is far more ideal for plotting revenge. Plus now I can wear hats again.

I then confront you with mystical banana split sundae, which you find far too delectable to resist. I allow you to gobble it up completely, but this in turn makes you feel odd briefly before turning you into an adorable butterfly of many magical rainbow colors. And you glow in the dark! This state of bliss causes you to become carefree and far less interested in the hill, which I stake my claim on.

I add some more neon lights to my castle of prestige and glory and settle in quite nicely.

MY HILL!

[Chakramaster]

Be it by divine intervention or some magic spell once put on me long ago (possibly by some squirrel-y rodent) I manage to turn back into a Pikachu. Thanks be to that curse....if you can call it that. Back to the shenanigans!

Not being a fan of banana split sundaes, turning it aside especially after seeing it turn someone into LITERAL butterflies. PLURAL! So I take action while. Reaching into my magical bag of wonders I found hidden in a secret vault that none shall know of! I take out a very special remote. Zapping you into a special game. Why, it's Super Mystery Dungeon! Only, you're not able to progress past the tutorial. Ever. You're stuck going to school each and every day. Never fulfilling any prophecy or set event. As you're stuck in a perpetual purgatory. I step back up and claim the hill.

MY HILL!

[Neo Emolga]

(there were times when PSMD felt like that...)

The cycle breaks when I show Farfetch'd my MASTER OF BUSINESS ADMINISTRATION degree and he falls flat on his duck butt and realizes I'm well past the point of listening to stories and needing elementary school education. This, of course, creates a time and space disruption and the only choice Spike Chunsoft Co., Ltd has is to eject me, Neo Emolga, MBA, from the context of the game, lest they all be sucked into a logical black hole and lose all their special powers.

I arrive back at the hill and find that a certain Pikachu known as Chakramaster has taken it over. This is unacceptable. I proceed to use COSMIC POWERZ and cover him with thousands of scratch-n'-sniff stickers before wrapping him up in a flour tortilla stuffed with lettuce, tomatoes, and cheese. I then attach rocket boosters to said squishy burrito, launching said silly Pikachu into the Hydra-Centaurus Supercluster where he lands upon Planet Loofy, home to many millions of tiny pink snails that dress him up in a purple tutu and use him as a mop to clean up their snail trails.

I then reclaim the hill as my own and decide on the music selection for the evening. Oh, and there's cake, but it's all for me. Sorry not sorry.

MY HILL!

[The Nonexistent Tazz]

Unfortunately, in your haste to transform me into a harmless form, you fail to realize that the exact description of butterfly you have given me is also known as Mothra, IE a massive super pyro butterfly. I lose interest in the hill only because it's currently a massive pyre, and you are too busy using not-flameproof construction materials and also burning to properly claiming it, forcing your retreat.

I then regain interest for no good reason whatsoever, and reclaim my hill.

MY HILL.

[Neo Emolga]

During my retreat, I acquire the sacred text of Monster Wiki, which in fact defines Mothra as a MOTH, not a butterfly (otherwise it would be Butterflyra, which doesn't roll off the tongue quite as well). This crafty revealing causes your powers to become disrupted and allows me to implement a sufficient amount of Techno Jiu-Jitsu and pummeling via ice cream cones and rubber duckies on you. This casues you crumble into defeat. I then proceed to fold you into a square, stuff you into a lovely brown leather suitcase with those fun little spinner combination locks, and then I drop you in the middle of the Sahara. It's warm and cozy there this time of year, you might like it. Plus so much material to make sand castles with!

I then use the Bulldozer of New Beginnings to clean up the mess you caused and then proceed to reconstruct Chateau Neo Emolga, home to the happiest flying squirrels of all. Seeing as how you don't fit this critera, you're not invited.

MY HILL!

[The Nonexistent Tazz]

I fry to death in the Sahara in the closed confines of the suitcase, but worry not! My angry spirit possesses the entire Sahara desert, turning into a gigantic sand elemental. I then use my newfound sand powers to reappear at the hill thanks to a convenient patch of sand, completely burying you in what is technically my scorching-hot body, and your cheateau with it. In my burning grip, I maneuver the sandy material to whisper into your ear that you need to stop loafing around on this hill and update the Pikachu Survival Game IV! You forget that the Pikachu Survial Game IV is yet to exist and scurry off in such a rush that you leave the hill to me. I consume the rest and reduce it to sand.

MY HILL!

[Neo Emolga]

While you reside on the now extra sandy hill, a sweet little chickadee comes to sing a sweet song in your ear. It sounds like chirps and chic-ka-dee-dee-dees but then he lets you in on an insider secret that the gracious Emolga you sent off is actually planning for a Let's Go Survivor Game that includes getting turned into Eevee as well, but said majestic flying squirrel would like PXFIRE Season 2 to finish up first.

Of course, your sandy sunbathing is interrupted by Dude, my own personal Moon Dragon. He washes you with a fifty-ton garden hose and you and all your sandiness washes away to Seattle Washington, where you're mistaken for kitty litter and... used as such. Meowch!

With a squeaky-clean hill to enjoy, I decide to build a mighty castle this time. With cool Emolga banners and flags. Oh, and of course a giant Emolga-shaped swimming pool.

MY HILL!

[The Nonexistent Tazz]

How dare you insult dubiously well-intentioned kitten liter companies for having kitten litter compared to common Saharan sand! The copious amount of lawyers from cat product companies worldwide form a lawyer army worthy of intergalactic court and march directly to the hill, suing you on fifty trillion charges of mind-slander.

Like, they'll lose as instantly as it gets in court. Mind-slander isn't a crime or anything. BUT, that'll only happen if you head to court to at least get all of these bogus charges sorted out, and there is no court on the hill. This forces you to leave temporarily.

Meanwhile, my love of cats resurrects me upon seeing a kitten, rising from the sand and avoiding getting defecated upon. I somehow get distracted by this cat for about the exact amount of time you need to sort out in court, and we meet upon the hill again at the exact same time. We decide to (for now) avoid pointless violence and we then agree to Settle it in Smash, but we somehow manage to tie on sudden death thrice in a row. At a loss, I then suggest we do Resourceful Rat speedruns of Enter the Gungeon, but somehow we DNF to Rat Phase 2 thrice in a row at the exact same time, then kill him at the exact same time on our fourth try. We then realize that traditional Pro MLG gaming competition will never work as we are somehow equally skilled (or not) and thus utilize a field of gaming competition that is not nearly as lauded, that being Legend of Zelda's Dank Percent (which is literally exploiting a glitch to play the orcarnia with a burnt stick, which makes it look like, well), but we somehow manage to tie that twice in a row. Absolutely infuriated by this turn of events, I throw my controller at you, knocking you out.

Cue a roughly-inverted scenario quite like the above, wherein you regain consciousness after I settle all legal issues in court, in the process revoking all of your legal claims to the hill through other legal means. By the time we meet again, the hill is mine, and I shake you by claiming that a conspiracy of Marmite Daemons is attempting to poach wild Emolga in Far-away-from-here-land, even further than Nowhere-near-the-hill-ville. You attempt to bring righteous justice to Emolgas while I solidify my claim on the hill.

My legion of pirate-samurais proceed to stroll up and capture anyone other than Neo who happens to have ninja'd me, as of course, pirate-samurais are a ninja's greatest weakness. They force the offender to walk the plank. It's not a drop off of a ship into shark-infested waters, though; it's just a really, really, really long plank. It'll take at least 10 hours if you drive the whole way. (The 'walking' part is also kind of nonindicative.)

MY HILL!

[Neo Emolga]

Mind-slander aside, your legal plan falters as Neo Emolga Inc was not responsible for the means on how the local populace of Seattle, Washington used your sandy self, we merely had Dude wash you there. As for your insidious plot to use Marmite Daemons, I conduct a full roll call on Emolgas throughout the universe and it appears all of us lovable flying squirrels are fully accounted for, thus invalidating your plot.

We form a hardcore army and set sights upon your regime. It seems you have carelessly forgotten that Dude the Moon Dragon is still on the hill. He smiles at your pirate-samurai army and uses Prismatic Magical Spells MK II to turn each and every last one of them into combs and hairbrushes, which we sell in bulk to Wal-Mart. He then smiles at you and turns you into a magical lily plant filled with lovely colors and wonderful scents!

We decide to plant you in the Bahamas, where hopefully the nice sunshine will keep you distracted and away from the hill, although we do enjoy your attempts to reclaim it! :3

I then get cozy in Castle Neo Emolga and throw a party! Chips, dip, soda, popcorn, pretzels, cookies, cake, and all kinds of other goodies! Shame you wouldn't enjoy them because you're... well, a plant.

Happy rays!

MY HILL!