“The tragedy of this world is that everyone is alone. For a life in the past cannot be shared with the present.” I read that some place carved into a bar stool. What bar wisdom really means in the long run I have no idea, but for what’s it worth it worked me at the time. I believe I was at a place called Syscos which was hole the wall bar on Dewford Island. The place was run by the son of a former Aqua admin named Smith or Smitty. Some might call the guy a war criminal. He was part of one of the biggest gangs in Hoenn. Despite the rumors of what these guys did back in the old days a lot of them payed for their crimes with jail time. Some were even able to turn their lives around, good for them right? I remember the guy, Smith. Our paths crossed a few times not all of which were on good terms. However, we are okay these days. Old rivals sometimes turn into friendships of familiarity. Every once in a while he slides a free drink my way and we nod heads at each other.
Right now, I’m trying to massage the soreness out of my left wrist. The god damn thing is swollen like a b****. Hopefully this will stop me in the future from starting fights with these Meta punks that hang out just outside of the halfway home I have been assigned to. Yeah..yeah..a half way home. I really made it far, mom. Who would have known fighting to save the planet would have been so damaging to one’s body and mind? It turns out being knee deep in the blood of your pokemon and your friends is detrimental to your psyche. Detrimental my a**, the only part of that genius statement is the metal half. Which happens to be true.

Oh yeah the story, so I’m on my knees and my wrist feels like a damn Mightyena used chomp on it. I look up at this young hulking Meta’d out freak and I smile trying to pass the pain off as sarcasm. Truth be told my body has been on a one way track into a wheel chair or some form of painful death since the battle to save everything. No one ever said that Groudon could be radioactive…It never came in my heroes for hire packet with the complementary mint. I guess I should have assumed that a god that creates heat that could warm the core the planet might not be safe to be around.
“ Hey kid, just how of many u’s does it take to beat up on old man? Better yet how many needles did your junkie mom use to shot herself up with to produce whatever the F*** you are?” I said with a half bloody smile

This is the point where I forget the whole cause and effect theory I learned in school. I piss this kid off, the cause. He then heats up his hand and burns part of my cheek and shoulder when he hits me. I supposed the beating could go on until I finally just keel over. Hell maybe I should just keep taunting him until finishes the job. I look up for a moment at the mohawked kid with a slight bit of admiration. He believes that I must be connected with one of the old gangs that ruined his parent’s world. He believes Im just another old con who doesn’t deserve a second chance. For a moment I can picture myself on the other side of this. I can hear Joseph and Clea yelling at me to stop acting like a savage and begging me to give the guy a chance.

“That’s enough.” A voice called out from the dark corners of the alley hauling this attack.
The shadowed man lifted up a weapon and fired. With a high energy shockwave the kids run off stunned and upset. The kindness of a stranger is far and in between these days and it’s mostly unwelcome.
“Thanks but I had them just where I wanted them.” I said dusting myself and getting up.
I look over at the young man who approaches me cautiously, in today’s world this is exactly how it should be. He still has the stun gun pointed up but slowly starts to lower it as he gets closer. The cheap green reflective fabric tells me right away that he is one of Frostgate Towns finest. I don’t make any fast movements as he approaches. I’m not sure I have any fast movements left in me anyways. My internal clock I telling me I need to get back home so I can get my pills.
“Let’s make this quick.” I said pulling out my ID. I flashed it to him and turn to walk away.
I think he asks me something about how I am or if I need help but that goes ignored. I adjust my jacket and pick up the pace. Luckily those thugs decided to jump me so close to the half way home. I stumble into the place picking up the pace as all the pain finally catches up with me. My hands shake making it hard to even hold a key steady. I have to fight the tremors just get the damn door open. When Im finally in move frantically to the dresser to get my pills. I make a mess of the damn place before falling to the ground. It’s in this immobilized state that I choke down the pills and pass out.

The next morning I wake up with my Jacket wrapped around me and the alarm clock ringing like crazy. I can hear it slowly inching its way towards edge of the dresser on its journey it smack me in the face again. There is also the sound of a broom handle hitting the wall from the guy next door.

“ I got it, I got it” I grumble getting up and hitting the alarm clock.
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Today is the day I dread every year. I have been preparing mentally for it all year. The last couple of weeks have all been leading up to today and it appears that even overdrinking last night wasn’t enough to make it go away. I didn’t mind the beating I took last night because for a moment I felt alive, I felt like I was someplace else. I wish I could have just faded away in my sleep last night. But that doesn’t seem to be an option at this point. I think that I am stuck doing what I always do.
Even though I hate this day it has always meant a lot to me. Before I can make my appointment I must do a few things first. I take a hot shower, shave and get cleaned up. I brush my teeth and even comb my hair for once. After that I make myself something to eat. Every year since the event I have followed the same routine. I make two eggs sunny side up, the yoke has to be perfectly intact. I toss on the bacon and hash browns and warm up a cup of joe. Before I can eat I make sure to clean off the kitchen table making sure to whip it down thoroughly and set two plates. When everything is ready I put some food on his plate and some on mine. I then sit down and take a slow sip coffee remarking.

“How are the eggs?” With my smile slowly fading away.
I look at the empty seat and my heart sinks.

“Colden..” I say softly, now feeling the cup shake in my hand.

“Your eggs are going to get cold.”

Finally he walks over and pulls out the seat and sits down. He doesn’t take time to pause for small talk. As I talk the most I get out of him is a nod and then he gets back to eating. I can’t help but smile seeing him sitting there. He still looks like the young man I remember from my childhood. His posture is still that of my rebellious older brother. I don’t say anything as he eats. I wait patiently for him to finish. Colden never liked being interrupted. When he finally finishes then I take the time to speak up.

“Hey man did you get good sleep? I had a nightmare about old man Sarin and his damn training.” I joked
Colden didn’t say anything. He just put his fork down and looked at me. He continued to look at me until I finally spoke up.

Uncomfortably I said “Say something.”
Colden just continued to stare at me but it wasn’t a look of disappointment it felt more like he was looking right through me. It didn’t take long until the image faded and the reality of the situation set in. This wasn’t the first time I had seen him. Each time he had appeared he didn’t talk he just looks at me. My mind just went with it; wanting to think one day maybe he could just appear. I think it’s the cost of being so badly damaged. I begin to cough quickly covering my mouth.

“Great.” I said looking at the blood on the napkin.
I am not prepared to deal with that right now so I just go back to ignoring it. I was done eating down and it was time to continue my day. After that I got dressed. I picked out my nicest pair of clothes and made sure to iron out the wrinkles, everything had to be perfect. I changed the bandages on my wrist and face. If I was going to see my friends today I didn’t want them to think I wasn’t taking care of myself. I may hated this day but I was not prepared to show them that.
A short ride later and I was finally at my destination. As I got off the bus and headed over. I started to feel the old familiar sadness. I walked slowly through the well-trimmed grass leading up to the area. My eyes stayed forced on the ground as I walked. I had been here so many times I could have navigated the path with my eyes closed. As I approached the memorial my knees started to get wobbly but I did my best to stay up. I walked over and carefully picked up any bits of trash around it. After making sure it was clean I took a step back.

“ Hi guys.” I said softly
I had a hard time looking directly at the memorial plot. The piece of rock had truly failed at properly showing respect to all those who died in the attacks. I ran my fingers along edge of the engraved stone.

“ Colden.” I said looking at my brothers engraved face.

“ You should have fought harder. You should have been as stronger.” I growled
My eyes moved down the memorial towards that of my fallen partners. It always hit me hardest to see the images in the stone. I lived with Colden in my thoughts every day. I had pictures and journals that all helped keep him around. But it wasn’t the same for them. My team died not because they were pulled into the shadows. My team died because they followed me into battle. After the loss of Shadow, Tina, Smoke, Prin, Emo and Gible, I found it hard to ever pick up a pokeball again. I released all my pokemon after that and vowed to never go near a battle again. It has been 20 years and battling still leaves a sour taste in my mouth.

“ I miss you guys…” I say shaking my head.
“ Every day is hard without each of you making me smile, laugh or get stressed out. Yeah Im talking to you Prin.”

“Shadow…I…especially miss you my friend, sometimes at night I still think I’m out in the forest and shadow pokemon are all around me. You always show up to protect me. I stopped going to out to visit the Sea Tribe because they reminded me of you.” I say pausing to clear my eyes .
“ Tina..I keep your Mega Stone with me at all times. My mother sent me a picture of us the other day it was from when we first started training. I keep it hung up on my refrigerator.” I say finally falling to my knees. I begin to cough widly and this time I don’t fight it. I can barely catch my breath now. I am forced to sit in the grass to finally catch my breath.

“S*** the blood is bad.” I say using my sleeve to clean my mouth.

I looked off into the commentary with my back against the memorial.

“Radiation poisoning…led to cancer.” I said talking to them.

“I haven’t been able to say that out loud yet. I can’t have more than a year left.” I said closing my eyes.
I lean my head back against the cold stone and feel the cool breeze brush against my cheek.

“Maybe we can speed this up.” I say looking up at Arcues half joking it could just be over.

* It is not your time.* a soft unfamiliar voice said
I could feel a warm energy now surrounding every inch of my being. I slowly open my eyes and look at the small green pokemon floating in front of me. Its presence is calming. I just sit there and look at it.

“ I know…but its so damn hard without them.” I breakdown
“ Im going to be dead in the next year anyways. So why I cant I hope for it be fast and peaceful?” I said in my defense.
The guardian pokemon good looked at me.

* You are hero Lucian just like all of your friends I have come here to give you a gift. I will take you back to any moment in your life. There you can live out your days peacefully.*

The forest sprites offer was pretty tempting. I could go just about any place I liked to go. With one wish I could see Colden and my partners again. I could go back and stop Raiden from entering that temple. I could make things right with Clea. I could do anything I wanted. I could fix all of this. Then I paused. If I changed something in the past what if I screwed up the future? What if the shadows win the war. What if Deoxys had been able to get what it wanted? With a long saddened sigh I knew I couldn’t go back. I looked into the amazing guardians eyes.

“I don’t want you to change anything. I don’t want to risk going back and undoing what so many people and pokemon died for. Instead I have a resquest..” I said my eyes now welling up.

“Can you just show me the past. Can I see my brother can I see my partners. I don’t need to touch or say hit. I would just really love to see them one last time. It would really make all difference to remember Colden’s smile or see Taras expression when Shadow started acting up.” I paused hoping that was possible.

“ I would also really like to see her..Just one last time.” I said hoping she would understand.

The pokemon smiled moving in really close to give me a kiss on my forehead.
*Anything Lucian, anything.* it said in a calm voice.
I sat back and watched this wonderful pokemon to go to work. She focused her powers on what seemed to be nothing and without warning things started to happen. There a beautiful window of colors opened up in front of me. At first I couldn’t look into. If this was real I would be seeing into a different life. Part of me was afraid and ashamed of what I had made of the life I had. Celebi if I remembered correctly gave me a nudge.

* Everything is okay now. Open your eyes.*
I slowly open my eyes and it was all true. I can’t tell you what I saw for those images belong to me and me only.

“Thank you, Celebi.”