The Squawkers RPG - The Main Action and Team Status Thread of Candy Madness! [NOW LIVE AND INSANE!]

[Neo Emolga]

Bless watched as the infernal spawn of the sparkles she had just massacred took their revenge on this world. Given that everything was already tourist-trap cute, it wasn't exactly very effective, but it tried nevertheless. Everyone seemed joyous and chipper (ugh) about it anyways, so now was the time to check a theory she had about that mad child, Bagz. Was he always that unstable, or was this recent that he had went... Sqwalker class insane? Only one way to find out.

Get Chatty with #40, Snackster, about Bagz, and if he's always been weird or if this was a new thing (ya know, like the start of all this chaos?) Also, where might be the best place to procure a weedwacker? A Thunderous Desire for Lawn Flaying brand one to be specific. Thank you!

Bless slaps on 1 point of Overwhelming Cuteness from the Super Pink Happy Squeee Kawaii Holiday! Reduced damage because of the Puns of Anarchy Style!

Ooh, that felt a bit tingly!

Interview Rapport: ✭EPIC!!✭
Super Pink Happy Squeee Kawaii Holiday!

While Snackster the Charizard is normally a suspicious and guile chap, why, not today! You ask that plucky Charizard about Bagz.

"Ha, ha, ha!" Snackster laughs. "Bagz isn't just a normal idiot. He takes it to a level of mastery. He's good if you're bored. Now if he were a Squawker... well, I don't know. I think he might even be too stupid for Squawkers to possess. See, if I were a Squawker, would I want to take over someone so heinously moronic like that? Might even be too much for their standards!"

"Looking for weedwackers, huh?" Snackster asked, looking away and thinking it over. "Landscapers probably have one. They've got trucks around, though I imagine some of them must have just fled after the city started turning into candied goo. I think there's one at the Glam Glam Casino. Well, what used to be a casino anyway!"

As you look at Snackster, you see him pull out what looks like a high-coveted item to him. It looks like a military manual with a next codex and... he slams it shut when he sees you spying on it!

"No, no, no-no-no-no-no!" Snackster shakes his head. "I mean... well, you're a REALLY COOL Umbreon and I think we should play beer pong sometime, but these codes... THEY'RE MINE! Unless... well, I need new hardware. You're rich, right!? Sure you are! Get me that new iPhony 89! And that gnarly Phony Slaystation 4! I think then that'll be a fair trade!"

Well, you could be creative, too.

40 Snackster the Charizard: (iPhony 89 AND Phony Slaystation 4) OR <Browser History Hacking>

"Hey, come on, pal, I know you can afford it! I want that stuff bad!"

You snicker when you think "just how bad."

Bless the Edgy Umbreon (M: Dark)

Classy: Guardian Snow Angel
Style: The Puns of Anarchy (Overwhelming Cuteness -3 on each Enemy Attack)
Goodies #1: %Sugarcoated Commando Body Armor (+1 MAX Belly)%
Goodies #2: <Empty>
Belly: 0/11 (10+1)
Overwhelming Cuteness: 1/10
Groovy Abilities: Reincarnate | Perky Stuff!: Killjoy Master

[Neo Emolga]

You want me to go out in that? For some pesky interview? Eth no way. This place is way too cutesy I'm out of here.

Oh no you don't! Come on! We're going to interview #2 Whopper the Milktank whether you like it or not!

Ack! No! The cuteness! It burnssssss!!

FEEEEEEL THE BURNNNNNNNN!!!!

If you like cute Mimikyus, you're in for a treat because Madder slaps on 4 points of Overwhelming Cuteness from the Super Pink Happy Squeee Kawaii Holiday!

You decide to harass the appropriately-named Whopper the Miltank. You find normally Whopper is a prima donna, is a bit of a snot, and loves to shop until her credit cards have an aneurism-induced seizure.

Interview Rapport: ✭EPIC!!✭
Super Pink Happy Squeee Kawaii Holiday!

"Well, well, hello hun!" she tells you, giving you a big, fat hug. "Betcha didn't think I'd do that now!"

You nod. Awkwardness increases. You ask about the Squawkers and if good ol' Whopper knows anything about their nefarious deeds of prime evil and dried boogers.

"I tell ya, something about Bappyboo has me wondering," Whopper insists. "She was always an annoying twit and fruiter than fruitcake, but when things got really hairy with them Squawkers, good heaven to Betsy, she went even more nuts. I think she's just the kind of nutbox the Squawkers would be interested in, but maybe it's just me."

"Maybe Snooki too," Whopper wonders. "She's been acting actually cute and peachy, lately. Probably up to no good! I don't know if she's a Squawker or not for real, but she's up to some suspicious funny business."

"Oh, I have something I really should have gotten rid of, but maybe you'd look better with it!" Whopper insists, throwing something really oddly colorful at you. "Totally not my style!"

You're confused, but then you find yourself scrambling to catch this bizarre thing she just threw at you that looks like a butterfly wing and...

#Super Adorable Aura - BUG (+3 Overwhelming Cuteness)# Trap 15% Evasion Test: 63 out of 100: FAILED!

Madder gets .75 points of extra Overwhelming Cuteness from the Super Adorable Aura! Reduced damage because you're a funny ghost with a love for Halloween!

#[Left Rainbow Butterfly Wing] Super Adorable Aura - BUG (+3 Overwhelming Cuteness)# has been added to the Team Pile!

What kind of funky weird... you know what, you're not even going to ask.

"Have fun now, hun!" Whopper waves you goodbye. "Don't forget to eat your fruits and vegetables!"

Madder the Devious Mimikyu (S: Ghost/Fairy)

Classy: Humiliation Commando
Style: Desperado Cowboy (4 DMG, 75% CoH)
Goodies #1: <Empty>
Goodies #2: <Empty>
Belly: 0/8
Overwhelming Cuteness: 8.75/12
Groovy Abilities: Stealth Mode | Perky Stuff!: Browser History Hacking

[Neo Emolga]

I'm going to work out, I feel to darn cute. Put on some death metal!

You're extremely darn cute! This is a bad thing and it's good that you recognize this as a threat to national security. You do your civic duty by utilizing death metal, a time-honored tradition and custom of growling, snarling, hog-squealing, and screaming. The lights flash. You get random fires and the whole Peep base shakes with your thunderous thrashing and mayhem. You wear armor made of bones.

You bench press a rusted truck. You bend iron bars with your teeth. You floss with razor wire. You jump rope with spiked chains and you use a flamethrower and randomly set a trash can on fire. You get a good whiff just because you can. You smash glass. You upset the neighbors. You steal their barbecue grill. You turn that same barbecue grill into a bulldozer tank. You overthrow ninja masters.

Dio has dropped 2 points of Belly and 2 points of Overwhelming Cuteness!

You feel better. There's still plenty of cuteness to shake off, but it feels good to have anarchy running through your veins again.

Dio the Stalwart Vibrava (M: Ground/Dragon)

Classy: Slappy Happy Classy
Style: Desperado Cowboy/Cowgirl (4 DMG, 75% CoH)
Goodies #1: <Empty>
Goodies #2: <Empty>
Belly: 0/10
Overwhelming Cuteness: 8/10
Groovy Abilities: Stealth Mode | Perky Stuff!: Death Metal

[Neo Emolga]

I'll go talk to #56 Frootkie the Quilava and ask them about what it's like having fire on your back all the time. Oh and if they know anything about the squawkers or anthing else suspicious.

Frootkie seems like a nice chap, so you head out there and... oh.

Fírnen has become extra adorable and plushy with 4 extra points of Overwhelming Cuteness from the Super Pink Happy Squeee Kawaii Holiday!

Interview Rapport: ✭EPIC!!✭
Super Pink Happy Squeee Kawaii Holiday!

Normally Frootkie is a fruity, dramatic Pokémon, but today she's not letting the world get to her! And she's dressed like a ballerina. Even while she's working at the mall at the Barnies and Nibbles Bookstore.

"Hi hi there!" Frootkie greets you with an overly-energetic smile! "I hope you're having a really, really, REALLY wonderful day! Oh my god, if not, you'd better start trying! Or I'm going to make you have a really wonderful day MY WAY OH YES OH YES!"

You ask her about having fire on her back. She giggles.

"It's cool, isn't it!?" she smiles, giving you a nifty demonstration before she winks as you. "Who needs sparklers when I have this!? I'm way cooler than those! Too cool for school!"

You then ask her about Squawkers and if she knows anything about them. She nods, having a sudden change in heart and look on her face.

"Ugh, I had this one customer," Frootkie moans, looking tired. "Comes in here, buys six books. And get this. These books are all about candy canes and ringtones. Candy canes! Who even cares about those outside of Christmas season!? Well, this nutwhack named Bappyboo does. She's a regular customer here, but lately she's gotten WEIRDER. Keeps calling me 'sweetcakes.' I LOATHE being called 'sweetcakes.' I even told her that but she just giggles. Do me a favor and keep a watch on that psycho, because she might be one of them."

"And don't get me started on Bagz!" Frootkie exclaims. "I hate Bagz. Bagz has his goat head so far up his rear that he's probably discovered an alternate dimension in there by now. Just the other day, he comes in here, EATS A BOOK, and gives us a bad rating on a RESTAURANT REVIEW WEBSITE! Stay away from him, because he'll make you dumber just with his presence."

"Oh, and I need suggestions for a new costume next week," Frootkie tells you. "I LOVE costumes! I'm thinking either a Dragonite, a hair comb, a compact disc, or a burrito that's actually made with chocolate, marshmallows, and yummy gooey layer cake on the inside all wrapped with a fluffy pancake! Yeah, you're right, I'll go with the hair comb."

You then say your goodbye and wave, feeling somewhat smarter than you did before.

Fírnen the Incredible Cinccino (S: Normal)

Classy: Guardian Snow Angel
Style: Ecstatic About Static! (Player Explosions do not add to the Entertainment Level of Kawaii Armageddon Event #2)
Goodies #1: <Empty>
Goodies #2: <Empty>
Belly: 2/8
Overwhelming Cuteness: 7/12
Groovy Abilities: Amigo Mode | Perky Stuff!: Hollywood Shenanigans