The Squawkers RPG - The Main Action and Team Status Thread of Candy Madness! [NOW LIVE AND INSANE!]

[VeloJello]

Alright, you know what? My lead led me to a putrid pudding pile (which admittedly did turn up good results, but nothing I'm after), so let's try the direct approach. Maybe Hude will appreciate someone of his typing coming to talk to him. If this doesn't work, I'll capitulate for now, but I can't help but feel that he's our likeliest Al candidate.

Interview 19 Hude the Spoink.

[ARandomTool]

I know I kinda said I was gonna recruit whats-his-face, buuuut...
What's in the fridge?!?
Taking the Essence of Tomatoes and the Essence of Raspberries to the Locked Fridge in the Obscure Chunky Nuggets Condos

And also eating that probably very stale fortune cookie, if possible.

[Noblejanobii]

A perfectly normal night! Excellent!

Time for some mischief! Where's my blood paint? I know I had some spraypaint cans and some paint guns and-

MADDER!

UGH! You're so annoying. Fine. I'll only bring the waterballoons.

Let's just make our way to search (24) The Bibbity Bopple Bop Hotel Exterior.

[arnisd]

I'mma search the (29) Tal-Mart, more importantly the (29c) Outdoor junk

[Neo Emolga]

I'll search #35b Itchy Witchy Pinny Ping Bang Hotel Floors 6-10.

Hopefully there aren't any nasty surprises hiding in this place, now.

It's a lovely evening and finally you're heading out! A massive chunk of Booplesnoot already looks like Candyland and you're checking out what used to a goofy hotel with loads of mermaid Pokémon decor... or at least until it became a heap of marshmallow. But why not try a bite!?

@Giga Marshmallow Presence - NORMAL (+1 Belly)@
Cipher has slapped on 1 point of Belly for the Giga Marshmallow Presence!

Mmm, really makes you feel like a kid again, doesn't it?

You scope out and check around the sixth floor where, surprise! More savory marshmallow goodness. It's like walking around on a really sticky cloud! And it sure isn't doing your fur any favors.

You then move onto the seventh floor where it's more of the same story, though you find a small area of the hotel that looks like it dodged the mayhem! You find boots, an umbrella, a TV stand, and ooh, someone's wallet! You look inside and see it belonged to Meemeemee the Bayleef. Curiously, you look up and see the uncanny coincidence of a very Bayleef-shaped marshmallow standing before you.

Welp, doesn't look like he needs this anymore.

Cipher has added a ritzy $400 Snax$ to the Team Pile!

You check the eighth and ninth floors, but you don't find much and by now, you look like a walking marshmallow blob. You barely make it to the tenth floor before you finally call it quits and get out of there.

Thankfully the Peep base has great showers!

Cipher the Ninetales (M: Fire)

Classy: Humiliation Commando
Style: Desperado Cowboy/Cowgirl (4 DMG, 75% CoH)
Goodies #1: %Vexing Amulet (-2 Overwhelming Cuteness for each instance of affliction)%
Goodies #2: %Prismatic Guard (+4 Max Belly)%
Belly: 1/14 (10+4)
Overwhelming Cuteness: 6/10
Groovy Abilities: Stealth Mode | Perky Stuff!: Browser History Hacking

[Neo Emolga]

Gonna finish up this search here....I feel...it'll help in some way

(48) Obscure Chunky Nugget Condos (48c) Floors 11-15

You enter the fabulous Obscure Chunky Nugget Condos, where fame and fortune await!

You start off at the eleventh floor, and you find most of the condos here are either locked or have odd things, like that one where you found way more emoji merchandise than what can be considered normal and sane. And a hat made of phonebooks. You can also tell an Arbok lives here because you found the imprint of one's face in a birthday cake that was in the fridge. Really?

The 12th floor seems to be completely a roller skating rink for some unexplainable reason.

On the 13th floor, things take a concerning turn when you notice the condos on this level have taken a bizarre turn and the whole thing looks like a beehive. With honey dripping from the ceiling! Who's... dumb idea was this?

The fourteenth floor went for a seashell theme and the fifteenth floor went for a jungle theme. You still don't find too much in the condos you can access save for dirty underwear, bookshelves with books around coding in programming languages that went out of style since prehistoric times, and "The Idiot's Joke Book" which you flip through only for a few mere seconds before it makes you want to bury your head back into bed and not come out until next Valentine's Day.

You then find the roof access door, which is greasy and gooey and reminds you of Ghostbusters for these very reasons. You see there's a greasy keyhole as well, but no sigh of the key anywhere.

{Greasy Roof Access Door: Greasy Key Hole}

You're a bit stuck until you find these key, so you decide to head back and play Frisbee with a frying pan. It doesn't go over too well. You've gained 0 EXP points.

Soren the Valiant Jirachi (S: Steel/Psychic)

Classy: Humiliation Commando
Style: Desperado Cowboy (4 DMG, 75% CoH)
Goodies #1: %Staryu Hair Clip%
Goodies #2: <Empty>
Belly: 0/8
Overwhelming Cuteness: 0/12
Groovy Abilities: Reincarnate | Perky Stuff!: Hollywood Movie Shenanigans

[Neo Emolga]

I'll search (8) Sunnyslacker High School - (8a) Floors 1-3

You put on your lucky hazmat suit and it... doesn't do anything. So... more key lime pie!

@Key Lime Pie and Minty Ice Cream - GRASS (+3 Belly)@
Carly has slapped on 1.5 points of Belly! Reduced damage because you are the epic fire pupper of magic and legends and you have your own fan club!

Well, it's not... bad, but you're not crazy about it. You only take a few bites before you get tired and just decide it's not really your thing.

You check out the school interior and it's just more of the same pie. Halls of pie. Greeny, minty, key lime pie! It's exclusively insane, especially when you get to the principal's office and his whole room that was filled with egotistical nonsense at one point is now just... goo. Green goo. Lots of green goo.

But you find an odd safe and it definitely doesn't seem like it belongs with the other stuff. You take a closer look and... uh oh...

#Pinky Sparkles of Happiness! - PSYCHIC (+5 Overwhelming Cuteness)# Trap 15% Evasion Test: 40 out of 100: FAILED!

Carly piled on 5 points of Overwhelming Cuteness from the Pinky Sparkles of Happiness!

You get pepper-sprayed in the FACE with so many pink sparkles and suddenly you feel so ELATED AND ADORABLE until you come to your senses and you realize this is a bad thing. Golly be, what evil thing could have done this!? You take a look and... oh, that evil thing.

#{Pinky Safe: Missing Cutesy Heart AND Missing Chibi Star} Pinky Sparkles of Happiness! - PSYCHIC (+5 Overwhelming Cuteness)#

Well, unfortunately you just don't have the things you need. There's an indentation for a very adorable heart shaped necklace object and a cute star bracelet. You decide you turn back around, really hoping this thing doesn't trigger in your face again because this kind of cuteness is already very hard to stomach and handle.

You don't find all that much else, save for a spare pencil. And a hockey puck. And a fencing glove. And the R-S book of some encyclopedia, which helps you look up everything you need to know about roots, rats, rudders, sails, stones, seeds, and snouts, but that has limited value beyond quenching your curiosity.

You decide to head back and tell all your Peep friends about everything you've learned about rudders. They're probably dying to know!

Carly the Courageous Growlithe (M: Fire)

Classy: Slappy Happy Classy
Style: Trigger Happy (2 DMG, 100% CoH)
Goodies #1: <Empty>
Goodies #2: <Empty>
Belly: 4/10
Overwhelming Cuteness: 8.5/10
Groovy Abilities: Reincarnate | Perky Stuff!: Memes

[Neo Emolga]

Even though he gave us something. Sense he has a few fingers pointed at him, I'll investigate stealth mode Mooker the Slowbro.

Ladies and gentlemen, it's ninja time!

You go all crazy tactical stealth mode super elite ninja invisibility magic and stalk Mooker and everything he does. Is he really clueless, or is he hiding something nefarious!? Does he still eat glue, or does he make mean spicy tacos? Did he save hundreds on car insurance by switching to Geico, or is this really a Tide ad? You just gotta know!

Marta has gone full Extreme Ninja Warrior, robbed Harry Potter of his Invisibility Cloak, and has gone Stealth Mode on 57 Mooker the Slowbro!

You wait in the shadows, hissing with a nefarious smile, lurking in the darkness, giggling up a tree, and rubbing your paws together. Heeheeheeheehee!

Marta the Marvelous Buizel (M: Water)

Classy: Humiliation Commando
Style: Crusher Crazy (6 DMG, 50% CoH)
Goodies #1: <Empty>
Goodies #2: <Empty>
Belly: 0.5/10
Overwhelming Cuteness: 3/10
Groovy Abilities: Stealth Mode: NOW TARGETING 57 MOOKER THE SLOWBRO | Perky Stuff!: Death Metal

[Neo Emolga]

Alright, you know what? My lead led me to a putrid pudding pile (which admittedly did turn up good results, but nothing I'm after), so let's try the direct approach. Maybe Hude will appreciate someone of his typing coming to talk to him. If this doesn't work, I'll capitulate for now, but I can't help but feel that he's our likeliest Al candidate.

Interview 19 Hude the Spoink.

Interview Rapport: POSITIVE
+1 Shared Pokémon Type (Psychic)

You find Hude still working the front desk... even though he's probably not on payroll anymore because said front desk, along with the rest of the hotel, is now pudding goo and it's dripping from the ceiling and landing on both of you. But he's still bouncing away like business is usual and nothing really changed. The odd thing is he's biting the front desk in a way that almost implies he's done this before. Like before it was pudding and back when it was still wood.

"Hey Hude," you greet him, hoping he's not that stupid. "I came to ask you about the Squawkers! Know anything about them?"

"Candy," Hude smiles before taking another mouthful of front desk pudding. "Squawkers and candy!"

You nod, knowing that also in today's news, the sun rose up today and there were fish that woke up still in the ocean! Who'd a thunk it!?

"Hude, can you brain today?" you ask, hoping for some kind of juicy and informative tidbit. "What else did the Squawkers do?"

"Maybe candy?" Hude asks, thinking. "Some candy! Big candy! Lots of candy! Yay!"

And then, overjoyed beyond belief, he lets loose a roaring, monstrous fart and he giggles through the entire thing like an ecstatic schoolboy finding cupcakes in his lunchbox. You accidently catch a slight whiff and it smells like blasphemy. You really wonder how that tiny piggy body can hold so much toxic methane but somehow it just does.

You decide to go before the Creator has to put Health and Sanity damage back into the game.

Velo the Heroic Lugia (L: Psychic/Flying)

Classy: Guardian Snow Angel
Style: Puns of Anarchy (Overwhelming Cuteness -3 on each Enemy Attack)
Goodies #1: <Empty>
Goodies #2: <Empty>
Belly: 4/12
Overwhelming Cuteness: 0/8
Groovy Abilities: Amigo Mode | Perky Stuff!: Hardcore Parkour

[Neo Emolga]

I know I kinda said I was gonna recruit whats-his-face, buuuut...
What's in the fridge?!?
Taking the Essence of Tomatoes and the Essence of Raspberries to the Locked Fridge in the Obscure Chunky Nuggets Condos

And also eating that probably very stale fortune cookie, if possible.

You decide to see what surprises this silly fortune cookie has. You unwrap it, break it open, take out the little paper slip and munch away while you read the fortune! It tastes like chocolate! The fortune cookie, not the fortune itself, silly!

~[Flavored Fortune Cookie *Fortune Inside!* - NORMAL (+1 Overwhelming Cuteness)]~ has been consumed!
Bless has tacked on 1 Belly point!

You read what the little paper says and it reads:

"Al's so awesome and he's all the rage! Maybe it has to do with him evolving to his final stage!"

Oh, and your lucky numbers are 6, 16, 29, 14, 31, and 20.

You then take the mysterious Essence of Tomatoes and the Essence of Raspberries to the Locked Fridge in the Obscure Chucky Nugget Condos. When you present your mystical artifacts of amazement to the orbs, they're sucked into them and suddenly the fridge unlocks!

{Locked Refrigerator: Ethereal Tomato Lock AND Ethereal Raspberry Lock}
The [Essence of Tomatoes] and the [Essence of Raspberries] are gone! Buh-bye now!

Maybe the pizza of your dreams is inside! You fling open the door and...!

#Gleaming Shiny Rainbow Flitter Glitter! - GHOST (+6 Overwhelming Cuteness)# Trap 15% Evasion Test: 58 out of 100: FAILED!

Bless has taken a whopping ZERO Points of Overwhelming Cuteness because you're a super-badass DARK type and YOU GOT YOUR BADASS PUNS OF ANARCHY rockin' on!

The rainbow glitter blasts at you from inside the fridge like a dizzy hurricane of Skittles, but it fizzles as soon as it touches you! You feel ...nothing. NOTHING! You let loose an evil laugh and it feels just fine!

There's nothing in the fridge save for... a rainbow jester's cap? Of yodeling? What the ...you know, you've learned not to ask. It's definitely the Squawkers again. Their little trap was totally foiled by you and you feel really downright SMUG about it right now! Flash that evil grin, you!

#[Rainbow Jester's Cap of Yodeling] Gleaming Shiny Rainbow Flitter Glitter! - GHOST (+6 Overwhelming Cuteness)# has been added to the Team Pile!

You cruise on out of there, feeling fine and quite cheeky right now. You treat yourself to a sponge bath! You use the good soap you've been saving! You use that extra fluffy towel! Damn, girl, you is fine!

Bless the Edgy Umbreon (M: Dark)

Classy: Guardian Snow Angel
Style: The Puns of Anarchy (Overwhelming Cuteness -3 on each Enemy Attack)
Goodies #1: %Sugarcoated Commando Body Armor (+1 MAX Belly)%
Goodies #2: <Empty>
Belly: 1/11 (10+1)
Overwhelming Cuteness: 1/10
Groovy Abilities: Reincarnate | Perky Stuff!: Killjoy Master