Quote Originally Posted by roo View Post
it's more so been an awful month rather than a day. i wish i could just like. turn back time and fix everything that i've done wrong and take back things i didnt mean to say and make amends with the people that i love the most except i know thatll never happen. i feel like i've lost everything and no matter how many times i try to put the pieces back together again i can't. i just wish to have one conversation with those that i've hurt and let them know that wasn't my intention and to please just give me a second chance but i don't think i'll ever get that chance and i feel very stuck and even if i do manage to move past it nothings ever gonna be the same.

and its caused my mental health to be so bad?? like i've tried making myself feel better. i've tried to hang out with people and it makes me feel lonelier and even being alone does absolutely nothing. ive pretty much just been napping this whole week because i'm drained and have no motivation or energy left. on top of everything i also have trichotillomania, which is the impulse to pull out your hair, and the stress is so severe on me its caused me to relapse after 6 years and now theres a spot where im missing noticeable amounts of hair on my head. i feel like talking to these people and clearing the air would make me feel a whole lot better but i'm also scared to do that and know they'll never give me the light of day.

i'm so stuck its not even funny and i miss them so bad and i've tried to reach out but i've also been shut down and i just really hope one day they see i dont mean harm and i wanna fix things and im not a bad person at all my mental health just wasn't quite where it needed to be
If this is the same person you were talking with me about before, just know that you're doing nothing wrong. If it's about more than one person, you're still not doing anything wrong. From what you've said, it sounds like you're doing everything right and you want to take back what you said and make it up to this person/people. That shows how much you care about them. It's not your fault that they won't talk to you even after that, and I still think there must be something else going on because it just doesn't make any sense to refuse to talk to someone who really wants to work things out and make it right. I don't know what's going on with this person or people, but I can't see why anyone would refuse to talk to someone just because they made a mistake (that they are sorry for). I don't know the situation, but it seems like there must be something else making them want to act this way, and they're putting the blame on you.

Just know that regardless of what they say or don't say to you, you're not a bad person. I know what it's like to miss someone like that, and if you want to talk to me again just message me. You'll get through this.