The Squawkers RPG - The Main Action and Team Status Thread of Candy Madness! [NOW LIVE AND INSANE!]

[Neo Emolga]

I. Feel. Disgusting. After talking to that blonde rodent.




Welp...time to cleanse my entire brain with grass.

Action 1:
SEARCH (49) Wild Jungle Park

Action 2:
CHAT UP 61 Qwerty the Volbeat

Yo, beetle...girl. Do alphabetised keyboards trigger you?

As a bug type, do you feel personally victimised by the Squawkers based on the name's birdlike origin?

ACTION ONE!

You decide to check out the Wild Jungle Park because no one other than grass types can get in there and that makes you feel special. It feels awesome feeling special. If that came in food form, you know everyone would be all over that like free all-you-can-grab at the rummage sale and it would sell like crazy and you could retire at 30 with mansion and frivolous things everywhere. Like your very own cheese doodle dispenser.

You walk in and there's carnivorous plants everywhere. Really giant ones that would make Audrey feel insecure, wimpy, and sad. But only at the entrance. Once you pass the test and everything thinks you're rockin' enough chlorophyll to join the cool kids, you see a whole new world open up with party music, a dance floor, arcade games, billiards, and other snazzy fun stuff. Things that non-Grass types will never get to see. So sad! But you kinda don't care that much as you let loose and have some fun with your grassy friends.

After partying with a Sceptile and a dancing with a Vileplume, it's easy to get hooked on just drinking and dancing and goofing around in this fun little jungle club where no one else can peer in even with one of those annoying drones. Those giant venus fly traps love eating drones. They have a tasty crunch to them! Yum!

You remind yourself that you kinda need to get back to work and so you search the place out and see if there's anything weird or unusual to find. You decide to check some of the areas in the back that don't get as much attention, and you find what looks like an stone wall with a strange, cryptic entrance. Hmm. You take a closer look and you see there's a shiny, Mystical Labyrinth Keyhole and there's a slate that seems to have some sacred, ancient inscription.

Hey,

I could really need a catchy song right now. Maybe with a flute. Yeah, that would be pretty cool. You see, I recently downloaded a catchy song, got so addicted to that, and played it over and over until it started to hurt and I suddenly hated music. Maybe I just need something new to listen to. Yeah, that would be cool. Oh, and I dropped the only key to the entrance. Probably somewhere stupid. Either that or it got buried under something. I swear, that happens all the darn time.

{The Secret Garden Mystical Entrance!: A Mystical Labyrinth Keyhole AND A Slate Requesting a Catchy Flute Song!}

Unfortunately, you don't really have any of these things, so you decide it might be time to check something else out. But on the way out... ooh, Game of Thrones pinball!

---

ACTION TWO!

Interview Rapport: NEUTRAL, VERY MODEST
+Modest (Grass VS Bug)
+Modest (Fighting VS Bug)

As you detox from talking to Donald, you decide to try chatting to someone... anyone besides that creep again, although it was fun giving that secret service Dedenne a pet. Qwerty seems like a good choice! You find a certain game creator forgot Volbeats are all male and Illumises are all female, but we'll just shovel that under the rug and roll with it. ;3

You find Qwerty is a Channel 318739 News reporter dressed in a Swanna costume doing a story on yet another candified transformation of Booplesnoot, but you imagine this must be getting ridiculous by now. Once she's done with the recording, she sighs and you approach her.

"Yo, beetle... girl. Do alphabetised keyboards trigger you?" You ask her.

"YES!" She nearly screams. "I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHY! I just have this natural hatred of them. Maybe because I suddenly start typing and it comes out like asvdjh kajkl fjja and there's something about that which never feels right."

"As a bug type, do you feel personally victimised by the Squawkers based on the name's birdlike origin?"

"Uhh, not really," she replies, thinking it over. "Well, not as much as other things. Like Neeps. WHAT THE HELL, NEEPS!? Really, he keeps wanting me to dress up as a Swanna and do stories in this silly costume. It started with him bribing me 100 Snax to do it. I did it. Then he got promoted, became my boss, and now he always wants me to do this! It's not right! I don't even know why!"

"Have I seen anything weird?" Qwerty asks you when you ask her. "THIS WHOLE TOWN IS WEIRD. I did a story the other day about the Chatty Chatroulette Chatot restaurant and that was the worst! Let me warn you, that place is a candy and chocolate NIGHTMARE! I saw one of our junior camera guys walk in there and he just squealed and exploded. I swear, the Squawkers did something bad to it. I mean, probably more than usual. I'm just glad they haven't turned my apartment into goo, but they're not stopping and I'm pissed and nervous about that!"

"Well, I need to go do another news story," Qwerty tells you with a sigh. "Say, if you swing by the news station, talk to Jazzy. She's cool, but she's running out of material for those stupid Obscure and Weird News Stories. She's had to put up with Neeps's garbage for years, but while I can't remain sane for that long, she's still hanging in there. She'll pay you if you help! Just don't tell Neeps!"

"Anyway, I gotta go," Qwerty sighs. "Stupid Neeps. I want to dump glue all over him so he has to shave all his fur."

She then heads off and joins the rest of the news crew.

Smack 'em Susan the Spectacular Breloom (M: Grass/Fighting)

Classy: Humiliation Commando
Style: Desperado Cowgirl (4 DMG, 75% CoH)
Goodies #1: <Empty>
Goodies #2: <Empty>
Belly: 0/10
Overwhelming Cuteness: 1/10
Groovy Abilities: Amigo Mode | Perky Stuff!: Killjoy Master