ATTENTION! WE HAVE THE WINNERS. 8D
First off, I would like to thank everyone who participated in this event and commend them for their efforts. The entries were unique and fun to read, so well done to all.
I post these results with confidence and pride in you guys. It's awesome to see the community working together to produce amazing works like these. :D
Creativity: Includes how interesting the story was, but also addresses the individuality of the piece. Relates specifically to the plot.
Detail: Refers to the amount of description included in the story to make it more believable and realistic. This includes descriptive language and the writer’s attention to the smaller things.
For poetry, this refers more closely to the interesting factor and how engaged it kept the reader.
Flow and phrasing: Sentence structure (not grammar) and consistency of the writing style. Includes the vocabulary used.
Grammar and spelling: Spelling, punctuation and the clear indication that proof-reading was done at least once.
Theme: How well the story relates to the theme of shiny Pokémon
Each category is marked out of 10, and the final mark is out of a total of 50.
The Results:
We had eight participants... But there is only one winner.
The results from each judges will be posted, and then at the bottom of the post, I will post the combined results (the numbers will be obtained based on the mean score) and the winners!.
- Creativity: 5.5 /10 - Detail: 5.5 /10 - Flow/Phrasing: 6 /10 - Grammar/Spelling: 5.5 /10 - Theme: 7 /10 Judge’s comments: Not terrible, but needs some polish.
Total: 29.5/50
Suicune's Fire
- Creativity: 4/10 - Detail: 6/10 - Flow/Phrasing: 7/10 - Grammar/Spelling: 9/10 - Theme: 10/10 Judge’s comments: It was a pretty basic recount/diary entry of a shiny encounter, but I didn’t feel like it had much thought put into it. The inter-region mixing got a little confusing, although it was sort of amusing. I could tell you had fun with it, and you had only a few spelling and grammar errors. The random mention of the inkay at the end was a little out of place since we hadn’t heard about that pokémon yet, and the battle with Barry also seemed strangely random. It was cool to see that the entry didn’t simply end after the capture, but it felt a little irrelevant.
I would have liked to see more detail (although I know that can be limited due to the medium), and perhaps something not so straight-forward. However, as I mentioned before, it is due to the limitations of a diary entry, so you did well for what you were aiming for. :]
- Creativity: 4.5 /10 - Detail: 9 /10 - Flow/Phrasing: 7.5 /10 - Grammar/Spelling: 8.5/10 - Theme: 4 /10 Judge’s comments: The shiny part wasn't very prominent.
Total: 33.5 /50
Suicune's Fire
- Creativity: 4/10 - Detail: 4/10 - Flow/Phrasing: 6/10 - Grammar/Spelling: 5/10 - Theme: 6/10 Judge’s comments: When you asked to “pokemonise” a folktale, I imagined you would actually write the folktale out as the story, not as Brock telling a folktale. To me that removes an entire dimension of storytelling, especially when you have the audience there reacting to things that we, as a reading audience, could have reacted to if you had actually written out the folktale as your story. I felt like I was being told how I should respond, but because of the way it was written, I didn’t feel the slightest bit involved and didn’t react remotely like the audience in that room with Brock was.
What I disapproved of, however, was the fact that most of the tale was literally copied and pasted. Yes, you changed small amounts of phrasing and changed “horse” to “ponyta,” but there was no real creativity about grabbing something that’s been written for you and dumping it into your own story. Especially when your story isn’t about the tale; it’s about Brock telling people about a tale.
I hope you don’t find any of this insulting; it’s just how I feel. If you had written it as the actual story and changed things so that it was only slightly based off the original, you would have scored much higher.
- Creativity: 7.5 /10 - Detail: 7 /10 - Flow/Phrasing: 7/10 - Grammar/Spelling: 8.5 /10 - Theme: 9 /10 Judge’s comments: Did well with keeping shinies as the main theme.
Total: 39/50
Suicune's Fire
- Creativity: 8/10 - Detail: 6.5/10 - Flow/Phrasing: 6.5/10 - Grammar/Spelling: 6/10 - Theme: 10/10 Judge’s comments: Definitely a favourite of mine, and the sort of plot that I mostly love to read. I thought the concept was awesome—Ember being the only one in his family that wasn’t shiny. That was a cool twist to the general “shiny one in the herd” sort of plot, which was enjoyable to read. The ending was awesome and very sweet as well.
There were a reasonable load of grammatical errors, which got you deducted points, as well as some incomplete sentences and things that repeated, which was a bit of a shame, except probably the biggest thing was the detail. It was hardly detailed at all and it felt quite rushed, so I couldn’t feel as if I could give you many points for that. Most of the “detail” points are because I found the story idea cool and entertaining to read.
- Creativity: 8 /10 - Detail: 7.5 /10 - Flow/Phrasing: 8 /10 - Grammar/Spelling: 8/10 - Theme: 4.5 /10 Judge’s comments: Was a very nice story, however shinies weren't very prominent.
Total: 36/50
Suicune's Fire
- Creativity: 7/10 - Detail: 6/10 - Flow/Phrasing: 7/10 - Grammar/Spelling: 5.5/10 - Theme: 8/10 Judge’s comments: The flow of this story confused me a little. It started off quite flat and I expected it to pick up, but it sort of failed in that aspect. A few logic-based things confused me—one being the houndoom. Aside from the minor detail that houdoom aren’t generally seen in Sinnoh, they would hunt solely for food, posing the question of why one would leave a kill half-maimed instead of eating the whole thing or at least carrying it away. Secondly, that a noctowl would randomly open a window and intrude into a human’s house for a few tiny eggs that it probably couldn’t have seen from the outside when prey would have been so much more easily accessible outside of a house.
I’m a little confused how the addition of Roya helped the plot at all, not that there is anything wrong with adding an extra character. I just feel like she could have contributed to the story a bit more in some way. A general lack of detail and emotion was present in the story as well, which made it less engaging than it could have been.
I found it a little flat, but it had a nice ending, which was pleasant. I also like the idea of looking after those eggs. ^^ It’s a nice thing to do.
- Creativity: 8 /10 - Detail: 6.5 /10 - Flow/Phrasing: 8.5 /10 - Grammar/Spelling: 7.5 /10 - Theme: 9 /10 Judge’s comments: Stuck well to the theme, and overall very nice.
Total: 39.5/50
Suicune's Fire
- Creativity: 6/10 - Detail: 5/10 - Flow/Phrasing: 7/10 - Grammar/Spelling: 8/10 - Theme: 10/10 Judge’s comments: I wanted to go a little harder on you because you chose a poem instead of a story. Obviously they are naturally shorter and have less detail, generally, but they must tell a story still. Just in another manner. I felt that the main theme on this was judgement and wanting to be an individual, but there wasn’t really any emotion, and no direct indication of how those comments affected that vulpix. The shining part at the end was a little unclear; I interpreted it as the vulpix perhaps evolving and showing off a beautiful coat (although shiny vulpix look beautiful anyway xD) or finding a new family who accepted them.
The poem began in quite a literal sense, about siblings and the vulpix’s pack rejecting them, but then it turned toward dreaming and waking to find that they found themselves beautiful. A more direct path through this tale might have suited the poem better, given how it started out. The way it ended feels somewhat vague and inconclusive, although obviously it is a happy ending, so it still has a resolution. It’s just a little unclear.
Nicely written, though, and it definitely shows what could happen to a shiny in some communities.
- Creativity: 9/10 - Detail: 10/10 - Flow/Phrasing: 10/10 - Grammar/Spelling: 8/10 - Theme: 10/10 Judge’s comments: This was definitely a favourite of mine. You not only detailed a story in the form of a beautiful poem, but you also included an abundance of emotion and perspective. I love when people pay close attention to detail, not only in the words they choose but to small things that make it that much more believable. Specifically, when you referred to the trainer as having an unknown gender, and then his pokémon having a perfectly clear gender. It would make sense for a pokémon who has never seen a human before to be unable to distinguish between female and male.
As I said before, I loved how the poem took us on a journey. The trainer’s decision to release the pokémon was surprising, and added a nice twist. I like how until then, the caterpie/metapod was unable to experience the world properly and enjoy life. With the evolution into a butterfree, I saw not only a literal evolution and the appearance of physical wings, but a metaphorical undertone about being set free through an ability to spread their wings.
Very nicely put together and great use of terminology. I spotted a few errors, such as “For once I can breath easy.” Lol. Breath easy. Instead of breathe. xD
- Creativity: 10/10 - Detail: 8/10 - Flow/Phrasing: 9/10 - Grammar/Spelling: 7/10 - Theme: 8/10 Judge’s comments: Very interesting idea. It took a totally different path to the general shiny story theme, which was refreshing and all the more interesting. I loved the ending as well. It was clearly supposed to be shocking, which it succeeded in. You gave the characters emotion and personality, which is definitely something that helped you score highly, as well as character for the story—such as comedic elements.
It was engaging and well written, so well done. There were some grammatical errors, mainly with speech, but overall the story was great.
Total: 42/50
The Dragon’s Call - Charmander009 Word count: 2,554
- Creativity: 8.5 /10 - Detail: 7.5 /10 - Flow/Phrasing: 8.5 /10 - Grammar/Spelling: 8.5 /10 - Theme: 7 /10 Judge’s comments: Loved the story, but wasn't as shiny centered as I hoped, but still good!
Total: 40/50
Suicune's Fire
- Creativity: 10/10 - Detail: 8.5/10 - Flow/Phrasing: 9/10 - Grammar/Spelling: 7/10 - Theme: 8.5/10
Judge’s comments: As someone who has participated in GCEA and seen Aidan first-hand, I found it great to have a more detailed backstory to him. I liked how this story was surrounded by context and wasn’t just a stand-alone piece. I loved the emotion conveyed, and you were right...it was sad. ;w; I was pretty sad to see such a legend go and I hardly knew him!
Regardless, it was well written. The shiny theme wasn’t the main focus but it was cool to see it incorporated how it was.
Total: 43/50
WINNERS:
Third Place goes to...
Fantome Ecrivan with Day Dreams for a total of 40 points! and
Dragon Master with Yellow for a total of 40 points!
Second Place goes to...
Charmander009 with A Dragon's Call for a total of 43 points!
First Place goes to...
Popshakes with Spread my Wings for a total of 44 points!
Runners-up
- Brettles with 39.5 points
- ZoeticKitty with 37 points
- Blaquaza with 35 points
- EmeraldSky with 27 points
WELL DONE TO POPSHAKES! 8D Congratulations everyone else who placed, and well done to all those who participated. It was a great contest and I hope you continue to write! :D
Your points and prizes will be redeemable in the near future... Thank you for being patient! And hold on to your places. ;]
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