ULTIMATE Battle Arena for Devolution Battle Royale 2!

[Neo Emolga]

I say let's yeet arnisd to the Wheel!

Sure, but are you drawing from the Deck, too, or are you giving it to arnisd?

[Neo Emolga]

We appreciate the mayhem here. It’s tradition!

Checked with Voltaire on Discord and he’s drawing, so away we go!

VOLTAIRE MAGNETON draws from the deck and the result is…

#10 The Evil/Good Apple!
THE EVIL/GOOD APPLE! - Aglome Oen takes over as host of the game and you get to enjoy all his evil, snarky commentary! Bad things happen, like you take 1 HP damage if you whiff 10 times in a row and Friday Pay Day payouts are only 1 Coin because he takes half! But if this card is pulled again, it switches back to me and things return to normal! I’m a much nicer Emolga host!

…

…ohhhh boy. Looks like you-know-who’s coming out of his dungeon for a while. Boy, he’s going to be thrilled when he hears the news! Yikes.

[Voltaire Magneton]

We appreciate the mayhem here. It’s tradition!

Checked with Voltaire on Discord and he’s drawing, so away we go!

VOLTAIRE MAGNETON draws from the deck and the result is…

#10 The Evil/Good Apple!
THE EVIL/GOOD APPLE! - Aglome Oen takes over as host of the game and you get to enjoy all his evil, snarky commentary! Bad things happen, like you take 1 HP damage if you whiff 10 times in a row and Friday Pay Day payouts are only 1 Coin because he takes half! But if this card is pulled again, it switches back to me and things return to normal! I’m a much nicer Emolga host!

…

…ohhhh boy. Looks like you-know-who’s coming out of his dungeon for a while. Boy, he’s going to be thrilled when he hears the news! Yikes.

What in the fresh heck did I unleash LMFAO

[Neo Emolga]

What in the fresh heck did I unleash LMFAO

You unleashed Aglome Oen, that's who! He's a chaotic evil Emolga doppelganger of myself (I'm more chaotic good, heavy on the "chaotic" as you know) who laughs whenever someone gets hit with something horrible or dies in the Stalkers RPG! Lately he's wanted to expand his presence into other areas like some greedy corporation of evil!

Heck, when he first appeared in the original Stalkers RPG back in 2016, he even caused someone with trypophobia to get a nasty reaction and we had to have a round table moderator discussion to get that under control and put warnings around! That's like Electric Soldier Porygon material right there!

Yeah, really swell guy. Not. Don't trust him for a second.

[AgloMe Oen]

You unleashed Aglome Oen, that's who! He's a chaotic evil Emolga doppelganger of myself (I'm more chaotic good, heavy on the "chaotic" as you know) who laughs whenever someone gets hit with something horrible or dies in the Stalkers RPG! Lately he's wanted to expand his presence into other areas like some greedy corporation of evil!

Heck, when he first appeared in the original Stalkers RPG back in 2016, he even caused someone with trypophobia to get a nasty reaction and we had to have a round table moderator discussion to get that under control and put warnings around! That's like Electric Soldier Porygon material right there!

Yeah, really swell guy. Not. Don't trust him for a second.

You do realize I’m rig̹ẖ̪t͓̙ͅ ̼he̝re and can hear everything you say about me? Well, I talk smack behind your back too, so I get that makes us even.

Ah, whatever. I love Halloween͖̱͉̬͙̠̯̮̳͉̠ͩͫͨͫͤͫͨͣ̉ͤ͋̂ͅ. Nothing like death, fear, and handin͖̱͉̬͙̠̯̮̳͉̠ͩͫͨͫͤͫͨͣ̉ͤ͋̂ͅg diabetes and obḛ̬̫̭̍͒́̅sity to young children!

Now then, can’t spell “s͚̰͓͍̫̪̅̃ͩ͂̈̎la̿ͯȕ̄̌ght͗̒ͦ̂̂͛ͥe̘͎̣̣̘͎ͦ̈̎̔̋ͦr” without “laughter!” Let’s see whoͩ gets to suffer on this won͖̱͉̬͙̠̯̮̳͉̠ͩͫͨͫͤͫͨͣ̉ͤ͋̂ͅderfully macabre day!

DERANGED MASTER RNG, eatin͖̱͉̬͙̠̯̮̳͉̠ͩͫͨͫͤͫͨͣ̉ͤ͋̂ͅg babies with a mḛ̬̫̭̍͒́̅at hook, d̼ͯr̗̦͖̗̝̀͗ͭͥ̚aͬ́ͪͮͬ̑gs͎̝͕͍̘̙ͤ͑ͦͪ̌̃ in the bodies of…

NEO EMOLGA as Cin͖̱͉̬͙̠̯̮̳͉̠ͩͫͨͫͤͫͨͣ̉ͤ͋̂ͅccino and VOLTAIRE MAGNETON as Wooper to the SLAUGHTERHOUSE!
@Voltaire Magneton @Neo Emolga

NEO EMOLGA
SUPERPOWERS:
SMART COOKIE [LEVEL 2] – Every time yoͩu make an͖̱͉̬͙̠̯̮̳͉̠ͩͫͨͫͤͫͨͣ̉ͤ͋̂ͅ attack that would generate a self-damaging result (not very effective/no effect), you have a 66% chance of stopping yourself!
YES, I LIFT, BRO [LEVEL 1] - Your Max HP for each battle is increased by 1!
ACTIVE BUFFS: BRASS BALLS PRIMED

VS

VOLTAIRE MAGNETON
SUPERPOWERS:
WHEEL MASTER [LEVEL 1] – ALWAYS have the Wheel option͖̱͉̬͙̠̯̮̳͉̠ͩͫͨͫͤͫͨͣ̉ͤ͋̂ͅ after winning and Wheel people, including yourself, as much as you like! No Whḛ̬̫̭̍͒́̅elie items needed for you!
ACTIVE BUFFS: MIGHTY SHIELD

The PSYCH̤O͖̬̦T̤͖̤I̥̭̮C ͅC͙̙O͇IN OF ̭͔T̯͇ͅR̬͉Ạ̰͚SH̰̮͕ ̲͓B̙A̪͎ͅGS ͚FI͎͚̟LLE̱̳D W̻͍IT̥Hͅ ̱̥̻B̞͓̯ODY̤̞ PART̩͖S̞ has declared NEO EMOLGA strikes first blooͩd!

---

TURN 1
NEO EMOLGA starts the murder parade with Revḛ̬̫̭̍͒́̅lation Dance! He summon͖̱͉̬͙̠̯̮̳͉̠ͩͫͨͫͤͫͨͣ̉ͤ͋̂ͅs the four horsemen of the apocalypse!
VOLTAIRE MAGNETON uses Reflect Type! But he in͖̱͉̬͙̠̯̮̳͉̠ͩͫͨͫͤͫͨͣ̉ͤ͋̂ͅstead loͩses his mind and runs over an Iggybuff with a steamroller. Squishy!

TURN 2
NEO EMOLGA attacks with Veevee Volley! He plays volleyball with a severed Eevee’s head!
VOLTAIRE MAGNETON uses Cut! Well, he would have slashed his own͖̱͉̬͙̠̯̮̳͉̠ͩͫͨͫͤͫͨͣ̉ͤ͋̂ͅ wrists if he had any!

TURN 3
NEO EMOLGA uses Icḛ̬̫̭̍͒́̅ Beam! He blasts a glacier with a plasma rifle to contribute toͩ the atrocities of global warming!
VOLTAIRE MAGNETON uses Low Kick! In͖̱͉̬͙̠̯̮̳͉̠ͩͫͨͫͤͫͨͣ̉ͤ͋̂ͅstead he misses Neo and kicks an innocent Mr Mime in the junk!

TURN 4
NEO EMOLGA uses Thunder! It has NO EFFECT…
…SMART COOKIE CHECK: (96/100) but he L̻̗̹EAR̹̪NE̖D̼̼̦ ͙̦̫BLOOD̪̗͇Y̻̭ ͇̜̻N̼̤̣OT̪̰H̗̗̝I̹NG͙̖͚ ͍̫F̙R̟O̫͎M Y͇E͍͔ST̰̟E̫̟R͎͍DḀY̦’S B͈A̦TT̻̦̰LE̝͙͖ and painfully R̠E̙̯̺ALI̹̯Z͕̮͕E͓̬͚S̫͔ HI͖S S̯͎TU̜̗̤PID̮̬IT̜Y! But his BRASS BALLS reduces the damage toͩ a REGULAR STRIKE! (1/5) Booo!
VOLTAIRE MAGNETON uses Thief! He fails because he’s been too goͩodie-two-shoes and hasn’t learned the art of STEALING!

TURN 5
NEO EMOLGA uses Pound! It deals an AGO̦̰̞̥ͅN̼̦͕I̱̗̰̼͇Z͎͕̯̭̲̻̳IN̘G ̳̝͎͔͉͉B̘͎̣̼̪̹̰Ḽ͖̱O̦̪̠͍͎̹W to VOLTAIRE MAGNETON! (1/3)
VOLTAIRE MAGNETON uses Freeze-Dry! Hḛ̬̫̭̍͒́̅ stores the boͩdies in his meat locker for later con͖̱͉̬͙̠̯̮̳͉̠ͩͫͨͫͤͫͨͣ̉ͤ͋̂ͅsumption! Yum!

TURN 6
NEO EMOLGA uses Black Holḛ̬̫̭̍͒́̅ Eclipse! And he causes an entire galaxy to be swalloͩwed into the void! Nice one, Neo!
VOLTAIRE MAGNETON uses Water Sport! And he drown͖̱͉̬͙̠̯̮̳͉̠ͩͫͨͫͤͫͨͣ̉ͤ͋̂ͅs half the audience in the madness!

TURN 7
NEO EMOLGA uses Misty Exploͩsion! He blows up an ḛ̬̫̭̍͒́̅ntire city block but hey, at least there’s glitter and sparkles, right!?
VOLTAIRE MAGNETON uses Leech Seed! But he got the wrong ones and instead bought deadly nightshade. Still makes for a great bouquet, though! Take a sn͖̱͉̬͙̠̯̮̳͉̠ͩͫͨͫͤͫͨͣ̉ͤ͋̂ͅiff!

TURN 8
NEO EMOLGA uses Dark Void! And he sḛ̬̫̭̍͒́̅nds another galaxy into his noͩthingness hole! What a charmer!
VOLTAIRE MAGNETON uses Obstruct! He blocks all the fire ḛ̬̫̭̍͒́̅scapes before committing arson͖̱͉̬͙̠̯̮̳͉̠ͩͫͨͫͤͫͨͣ̉ͤ͋̂ͅ!

TURN 9
NEO EMOLGA uses Struggle Bug! He sadistically fries some ants with a magnifying glass!
VOLTAIRE MAGNETON uses Cottoͩn Spore! But it’s really his anthrax hḛ̬̫̭̍͒́̅ shares with the surviving members of the audience.

TURN 10
NEO EMOLGA uses Power Swap! He switches the live jumper cablḛ̬̫̭̍͒́̅s from his first victim to the n͖̱͉̬͙̠̯̮̳͉̠ͩͫͨͫͤͫͨͣ̉ͤ͋̂ͅext!
VOLTAIRE MAGNETON uses Forḛ̬̫̭̍͒́̅sight! But he doesn’t realize he’s too late to tell the children toͩ beware the oncoming train!

Voltaire, seriously!? I’ve seen zombies better at this “kill your opponḛ̬̫̭̍͒́̅nt” thing than you! Get with it! That overly-fluffed fat chin͖̱͉̬͙̠̯̮̳͉̠ͩͫͨͫͤͫͨͣ̉ͤ͋̂ͅchilla is your target!
AGLOME OEN strikes VOLTAIRE MAGNETON for 1 HP DAMAGE! (2/3)
The beatings will continue until morale improves!

TURN 11
NEO EMOLGA uses Poison Powder! He distributḛ̬̫̭̍͒́̅s even more anthrax to the audien͖̱͉̬͙̠̯̮̳͉̠ͩͫͨͫͤͫͨͣ̉ͤ͋̂ͅce! So generous!
VOLTAIRE MAGNETON uses Rapid Spin! He tosses a cute Azurill into a blender and turn͖̱͉̬͙̠̯̮̳͉̠ͩͫͨͫͤͫͨͣ̉ͤ͋̂ͅs it on!

TURN 12
NEO EMOLGA uses Doͩuble Hit! Well, he pulverizes a Jigglypuff to dḛ̬̫̭̍͒́̅ath quite well, but that wasn’t his actual opponent!
VOLTAIRE MAGNETON uses Frost Brḛ̬̫̭̍͒́̅ath! He summons an ice dragon to decimate an entire village!

TURN 13
NEO EMOLGA uses Coil! He tiḛ̬̫̭̍͒́̅s up his victims in the cellar and kills the lights!
VOLTAIRE MAGNETON uses Stored Power! He overloͩads the reactor at the n͖̱͉̬͙̠̯̮̳͉̠ͩͫͨͫͤͫͨͣ̉ͤ͋̂ͅuclear power plant!

TURN 14
NEO EMOLGA uses Night Daze! He puts Everclear into the children’s fruit drinks! Weeee!
VOLTAIRE MAGNETON uses Electric Terrain! He sprays water everywhere and runs a cable intoͩ it!

TURN 15
NEO EMOLGA uses Rock Throw! He gives soͩme random kid Charmander a concussion!
VOLTAIRE MAGNETON usḛ̬̫̭̍͒́̅s Twineedle! He gives the wrong inmates a lethal injection!

Yeah, Neo, aboͩut that “do something effective thing” that you seḛ̬̫̭̍͒́̅m to have so much trouble grasping? Here, let me show you how you’re supposed to doͩ it, you idiot!
AG̱̬̠̠̮̣L̟̳͚̲̣̺̺O͙͖̠̳̙M̲E̱͈̯̦̮̼̩ ̗̪͙̘OḘ͚͉̜N̤͈͈̪̭̻ͅ ̮str̻̞i͍k̹̩͈͉̥͍̫e̫̘̰s̪̤̫͇̥̭̲ ̩͉̪̭̹NE̫̟̹̳̹͙O ̪̩͖EM̬͈̯OLG̞A ̝̳̳f̦̖͕̯̩̲̩o̝̺̻͉̥ͅͅr͚͖̲̟͕̠̗ ̖̳̰1 HP͉̬̲̠̘͉ ͔̦͔͍DAMAG̯͉͙̖E̖͚̱̞̳̣ͅ!̜̦͚̯͕̦̤ (2/5)

TURN 16
NEO EMOLGA uses Growth! He feeds Audrey II his latḛ̬̫̭̍͒́̅st victims.
VOLTAIRE MAGNETON uses Acid Armor! But then͖̱͉̬͙̠̯̮̳͉̠ͩͫͨͫͤͫͨͣ̉ͤ͋̂ͅ he realizes it’s a terrible fashion statement.

TURN 17
NEO EMOLGA uses Fury Cutter! And that’s why him and his scissors are covered with bloͩod, officer!
VOLTAIRE MAGNETON uses Teeter Dance! He enjoͩys watching the childrḛ̬̫̭̍͒́̅n he intoxicated fumble around and crash into each other!

TURN 18
NEO EMOLGA uses Decoͩrate! He decoratḛ̬̫̭̍͒́̅s his front yard for Halloween! With real body parts!
VOLTAIRE MAGNETON uses Sludge Bomb! It causes HIDE̲̩͈̥̗ͅO̮͙̼̞̼̤̥Ṳ̝͉͉̙S͇̰̤̰̬̲̲ ͚̟͎͖P̗̬A̠̭͍͔I̖̰N A̲̲͖̦̼͈̼N̠̺͇̹͎D͉̺̜̞̘͎ ͙̳̤̮̺̞̰AG̮͎͍̣̭O̻͖̹̩N͚̤͙̜̞͚Y̭̘ ͙t͓̼͚̦̳͉ͅo̦̤̟̱͙̹͔ N̤͖͕̤̻͙EO͙̘ͅ ̼Ẹ̫M͉̻͓̪̯̦O̮͇L̟̼̥G̝A!̼̹̙ (3/5)

TURN 19
NEO EMOLGA uses Fire Fang! Hḛ̬̫̭̍͒́̅ sets Dracula on fire, but that doͩesn’t help him with attacking Voltaire.
VOLTAIRE MAGNETON uses Mega Drain! And all the crime scene evidence has disappeared!

TURN 20
NEO EMOLGA uses Seismic Toͩss! Except he ends up throwin͖̱͉̬͙̠̯̮̳͉̠ͩͫͨͫͤͫͨͣ̉ͤ͋̂ͅg an Oddish into space instead of Voltaire.
VOLTAIRE MAGNETON uses Needle Arm! He sticks a sevḛ̬̫̭̍͒́̅red arm to a cactus!

TURN 21
NEO EMOLGA uses Swift! I͑̊̎ͨt̃ ̠̙̥͇f͎ͩịn̠͍̩͑̐̍a̲͚̙͈̜̐͛̃͑̓̈́ͅl̃ly͓̼͊ͮ ͆̃ͣ̈MU̳̇RDË̟̙̹̤́̂̓̏R̫ͫS̹͙͓̬ ̥̩̥ͯͮͥV͌̒̿̎̐͑̀O͓̜̙̘̠̍̓ͭ̑ͥLT̞̳͈͇̙̱̅ͮ͌ͧͫ̋̚ͅA̩͉̎ͤ̑͛̚ͅ ̰̝I̥͈̯̘̲͉ͩ̅ͯ̌̿ͥR̗̬̘̺E̤̪̯̮ Mͭ̊ͫ̿̅̓Aͮ̓́́ͥͬͦG̘̬̥͚̊̂̊̀N̓͆̐ͤ͐̽̇E̟ͫT̻̬̟͎̃ͪͨ͗Ŏ̍̾ͨ̏ ̰͉̳̺ͅÑ̦̙̿ ̞̤̫̙̄̐̃̍̚ͅw̦ḯ̹̮̬̤̆͛́th̉ ̹̠̮̱͚̫ͅa r̰̙̩̘aͥͪͧ͊z͈̹̲̃ͮ̽o̯̰͇r̥̞̤̪̙̗-sh̫͉͐̌ä̝̭͕̻͔͑͆̆ͣr̠̬̲̬̰͉ͪͪ̈́ͪ̓̓p ̠͓ͧͬͬͅf͑ͦ̅ḽ̺̜̘ṵ͕̥̿̇͑ff͎̫͙̮͙̙̂͂̉ͣ̚̚y͚̣̯̳̙ ͤͫ̋o͎̺̺ͪ̐̃f̻̲̳̺̰͈̣̔̓͒ͩ̎̈́ͩ ̦̫̼ͤ͐ͣs̗ẗ́͐ͪ̃a̬̰̝͉ͤ̊͊ͪr̙͈͈̬ͫͨ̀͗s̭̩͗̍!̥͍̗̝ͮ̄̇ͫ̔ ̤ (3/3)

DECK OF MANY ZINGS DROP (42/100) – No Dḛ̬̫̭̍͒́̅ck for you, scrub! In the world of Trick or Treat, you got TRICKED!

Neo. Neoͩ winning on Halloween. G̗̪̓̇Ạ̹̺͎́̌ͬͮAͧ̀̏̀̊H̩̬̽̎H̪̟͍̟̜̤,̮͇ ͚̖̝̰̮̦̂̈̌̿͂̚W͗̎Ô͎̰͎͕̱̰͓̑̿͐͒́ͪRS͈͒Ṫ̰̩͈̫̦͐̋ͤ̅͒ ̺ H̗̠̦̙̭̆̏ͯͤ͆AL̬̺̖̥̣̱̘̐ͧͩ̓̏͌ͤLOͭͬͮW͉̠͔͖̰̳̔ͪ̉̈́ͩͪÉ̜E̘ ̖̣̯͖̦N͚̟̼̯͌ͭͨ̀ E̼̳̫̭̥ͬ͑̒̓̎ͮͅVE̺̊R̥̮͇̯̪̄̿̂͆̆!̲͈̗̀̄̉̚ͅ That’s like even worse than the crap Covid-19 did to Hallowḛ̬̫̭̍͒́̅en last year! I S͖̙WE̟AR̗̞ I̦͈’̠̤̖L͔̺̬L͈ ̲G̱̪̗E̮T͇͈ ̥YOU B̝͎A͉C̻K̖̼̗ FOR̥͓̤ THI̮S!̙͇̬ Voltaire, I was betting money on you, too! I would have cheated if this wasn’t being livestreamed! Stupid livestream.

Ugh, fine. Neo, you get yoͩur LOUSY 1 EXP and you gḛ̬̫̭̍͒́̅t to decide…

• Devolve an͖̱͉̬͙̠̯̮̳͉̠ͩͫͨͫͤͫͨͣ̉ͤ͋̂ͅd egg Voltaire. But I get to eat the omelet.
• Devolve and kill yoͩurself for Evolution Crystals! Yeah, good idea!
• Or Wheel yourself. Yeah, go ahead and do that!

I’ll just havḛ̬̫̭̍͒́̅ to steal all your can͖̱͉̬͙̠̯̮̳͉̠ͩͫͨͫͤͫͨͣ̉ͤ͋̂ͅdy as revenge.