Oh, well look at what we̘̝͗̍ have here. Vḭ̥̮͔̦͙̫ctim̱̝̩̱͚s!͚͙̯̰ And they’re fresh, tò̷̏̍͟o!


D͎͖I̫A̤͕͖̯̣̞͖B̤̦̰̩̤̺̙Ọ͍͍̳̻͍̼LI̙̜̜̺C̹A͚L̳̥͇̬͍̳ ͚̪͙͔͓̗MA͎̠̞S̘̣̠̮͙͕͇TER̙ R͙̤̼͎̟NG͙̹̩, chasin͇̖͎̠̝͈̙̟̹̘̗̳͇̼ͧ̓̿̍ͥͣ̋ͧͮͤ̆͂͐̓̓ͅg children with a chainsaw, drags in͇̖͎̠̝͈̙̟̹̘̗̳͇̼ͧ̓̿̍ͥͣ̋ͧͮͤ̆͂͐̓̓ͅ the bodie̘̝͗̍s of...

NOBLEJANOBII as Shinx and NEO EMOLGA as Lugia to the̘̝͗̍ SLAUGHTERHOUSE!
@Noblejanobii

NOBLEJANOBII
SUPERPOWERS:
COMPENSATOR [LEVEL 1] – Add three more̘̝͗̍ stages of Pokémon to your Lineups!
RAGE MODE [LEVEL 1] (CURRENT STREAK: 1) - After a losin͇̖͎̠̝͈̙̟̹̘̗̳͇̼ͧ̓̿̍ͥͣ̋ͧͮͤ̆͂͐̓̓ͅg streak of 2, yò̷̏̍͟u get +2 HP for all future battles and you attack twice for the first 5 turns. When you win, the buffs are remove̘̝͗̍d until you hit a lò̷̏̍͟ss streak of 2 or more again.
ACTIVE BUFFS: <None>

VS

NEO EMOLGA
SUPERPOWERS:
SMART COOKIE [LEVEL 2] – Every time̘̝͗̍ you make an attack that would gen͇̖͎̠̝͈̙̟̹̘̗̳͇̼ͧ̓̿̍ͥͣ̋ͧͮͤ̆͂͐̓̓ͅerate a self-damaging result (not very effective/no effect), you have a 66% chance of stò̷̏̍͟pping yourse̘̝͗̍lf!
ACTIVE BUFFS: <Non͇̖͎̠̝͈̙̟̹̘̗̳͇̼ͧ̓̿̍ͥͣ̋ͧͮͤ̆͂͐̓̓ͅe>

The D̞̺͇̯͙̭E͔̙̳R̰̦̮̩̗͙͍̲͍͚͕̜̙͈AN̯͇G̥̲̬͙̗̩͕̘̙̞̲̹̰̖ͅED̠̠ ͈̦͙̳͖̙͉ ̲̰͉̲̗̖ͅC͎͎͓͔͚͎̗̞O͉͍̯̙̺̟̯͙͉͔̹̠͎I̞̫̤͙̖̯N O̙͖̫̘̣̗̮̥̤̦̻̦̲̖F̦̮̫̦̠̙͓̝̮͇͙͚ͅ ̟͇͔̬̳̩GR̫͎̳̩̮͇̖̩̼IZ̺̖͙̼̖̯̭͈̬͔ͅZLY̖̝̦̖̞̳̻̪ ̫̫̬͙̥M̗̯̤̲̦̬̹̜̭̺̞͖ͅA͚̞̙̳̟̭̘S̞͓̪S͔͖̼̗̬̱̩̗̤̗͔̞̰̭A̳̫C ̭̪̻̲͈̺̻̞̲̖ͅRE̺̻̯͎̖̗̟̝̘͓͕͓S̖̗̺̮̣̖̣̞͓̺̠͚̝ has declare̘̝͗̍d the dark queen͇̖͎̠̝͈̙̟̹̘̗̳͇̼ͧ̓̿̍ͥͣ̋ͧͮͤ̆͂͐̓̓ͅ N̖̱̲̝O̫B̪͖̤LE̤J̺͕̲̪̦̳̹̻͖̱͇̮A̮̜̼̱̦̗N̫̗͉͙͇̳Ọ̥͔̠͚̞ͅB ̰͇̩̰I͙̬̮͚̝̮I̦ strike̘̝͗̍s first blood!


TURN 1
NOBLEJANOBII starts the slaughte̘̝͗̍r with Thunder Punch! But he̘̝͗̍r aim sucks and she en͇̖͎̠̝͈̙̟̹̘̗̳͇̼ͧ̓̿̍ͥͣ̋ͧͮͤ̆͂͐̓̓ͅds up m̻̥̣ur̗͍͍͎̠̞d͓̥̺̮̳e̫̬r͇̖ing͈̳̜ an innocent Cleffa in͇̖͎̠̝͈̙̟̹̘̗̳͇̼ͧ̓̿̍ͥͣ̋ͧͮͤ̆͂͐̓̓ͅstead!
NEO EMOLGA uses Thunde̘̝͗̍r! It’s NOT VERY EFFECTIVE…
…SMART COOKIE CHECK: (36/100) but he actually grows a brain ce̘̝͗̍ll and realizes that’s a stupid idea! Wow, Ne̘̝͗̍o, so you’re not a total mò̷̏̍͟ron after all!

TURN 2
NOBLEJANOBII uses Bò̷̏̍͟uncy Bubble̘̝͗̍! But she was daydreaming and re̘̝͗̍alizes it was a live grenade she threw at the audience!
NEO EMOLGA uses Sin͇̖͎̠̝͈̙̟̹̘̗̳͇̼ͧ̓̿̍ͥͣ̋ͧͮͤ̆͂͐̓̓ͅister Arrow Raid! Well, he misse̘̝͗̍s but at least he makes sure the Cleffa Noble just killed won’t ever be identified! Yay!

TURN 3
NOBLEJANOBII uses Infern͇̖͎̠̝͈̙̟̹̘̗̳͇̼ͧ̓̿̍ͥͣ̋ͧͮͤ̆͂͐̓̓ͅo Overdrive! She misse̘̝͗̍s Neo but at least she did a great jò̷̏̍͟b burning down a village! Ha ha, Happy Halloween͇̖͎̠̝͈̙̟̹̘̗̳͇̼ͧ̓̿̍ͥͣ̋ͧͮͤ̆͂͐̓̓ͅ you sad little scrubs!
NEO EMOLGA uses Spit Up! He vomits out that disgusting dead Rattata he̘̝͗̍ ate!

TURN 4
NOBLEJANOBII uses Bite̘̝͗̍! SHE OUTRIGHT MUR̻̣̙̤̖̲D̤̹̰̲E̹̹͚̻̱̫ͅR̻̪̠̣S NEO IN A SUPER-EFFECTIVE OHKO! AND YES, YOU FIND HIM V̩͓͉̩̝̤E͚̭̭̯RY ̺͍͉̞̳̰͍TA̪͚Ṣ̮̺̝̠ͅTY͚͈ AN͕̞̙͕̪͖̪D͉ ̥ͅDEL̬̳̦̯͈͍͕I̘̠̞͈̫C̥̩̲I͖̥̼OU̝̖̯͍̤̖S!̝̖!̩̱̙̦̭!̼ ͖̟̖̯




DECK OF MANY ZINGS DROP (1/100) – THE DECK HAS APPEARED!!!

Oh… ò̷̏̍͟h, Noble̘̝͗̍, that was ḅ̮̝̳͈e̬͔͈aụ͍̘t͓͖̠i̤̻̭̲͍f͍̰̩u̞l̮̺͉̫. You get 1 EXP from murde̘̝͗̍rously munchin͇̖͎̠̝͈̙̟̹̘̗̳͇̼ͧ̓̿̍ͥͣ̋ͧͮͤ̆͂͐̓̓ͅg on Neò̷̏̍͟’s carcass and you get to enjoy doing an͇̖͎̠̝͈̙̟̹̘̗̳͇̼ͧ̓̿̍ͥͣ̋ͧͮͤ̆͂͐̓̓ͅy of these things to him!

  • Devolve his sò̷̏̍͟rry Lugia carcass in͇̖͎̠̝͈̙̟̹̘̗̳͇̼ͧ̓̿̍ͥͣ̋ͧͮͤ̆͂͐̓̓ͅto an e̘̝͗̍gg! Ha ha ha!
  • Burn an͇̖͎̠̝͈̙̟̹̘̗̳͇̼ͧ̓̿̍ͥͣ̋ͧͮͤ̆͂͐̓̓ͅ Evolution Crystal to become a badass Luxio!
  • Devolve an͇̖͎̠̝͈̙̟̹̘̗̳͇̼ͧ̓̿̍ͥͣ̋ͧͮͤ̆͂͐̓̓ͅd egg yourself for an͇̖͎̠̝͈̙̟̹̘̗̳͇̼ͧ̓̿̍ͥͣ̋ͧͮͤ̆͂͐̓̓ͅ Evolution Crystal!
  • Drop Neo scre̘̝͗̍aming in͇̖͎̠̝͈̙̟̹̘̗̳͇̼ͧ̓̿̍ͥͣ̋ͧͮͤ̆͂͐̓̓ͅto your WHEEL!!
  • Or Whee̘̝͗̍l yourself if you really want!


How do yò̷̏̍͟u play your n͇̖͎̠̝͈̙̟̹̘̗̳͇̼ͧ̓̿̍ͥͣ̋ͧͮͤ̆͂͐̓̓ͅightmare̘̝͗̍ today!?

And…

Do yò̷̏̍͟u draw from the Deck of Many Zings… or do you han͇̖͎̠̝͈̙̟̹̘̗̳͇̼ͧ̓̿̍ͥͣ̋ͧͮͤ̆͂͐̓̓ͅd it to Ne̘̝͗̍o Emolga to su̮̠̭͉̱̘̭̥͍̹f̲̤͈̳͖̳̪̩̹f̮̦͖̠͎ͅe̙r̲̖̫͚ with?

How dò̷̏̍͟es the dark mistress decide̘̝͗̍!? I eagerly await!