...But I'm a guy...So it was an illusion. I don't swing that way either, sadly. I find myself very straight.

I dangle a heatproof basket of 'Espurr' over the Volcano-specifically heatproof enough to prevent the basket from catching on fire from that distance, but not enough to save the 'victims' from dying a horrible death. You rush there once I tell you of this (and twist my facial hairs around like one of those old-timey western villains), only to discover that the Espurr are VERY well crafted fakes. I have fortified and re-established my reign over my hill while you were out.

MY HILL!!!