King of the Hill!

[The Nonexistent Tazz]

...Except the part where I pretend to be fooled, as your first suggestion was something I actually did have, so it tipped me off that something was wrong and allowed me to defend myself from influence. Once at the tire yard (going there only to fool you), I proceed to throw all of the tired-out tires at you. All on fire, of course. You didn't expect it at all, so you're sent cross-country by my Flaming Tire Barrage attack. Meanwhile, I teleport back to the hill, coincidentally scaring the ever-living c**p out of the Psychic you used with my sudden presence and absolutely absurd power level, and he flees, dropping anything he might have been using to amplify his abilities (I know you too well). After that event occured, I reclaimed my hill.

MY HILL!!!

[Rival Max]

Your power as usual was out of your control. I ride the tires all the way around the planet! The whole time they pick up more and more speed. As the tires come back around I use my time slowly machine to jump off, while you are forced to take the brunt of the attack knocking you easily into space. There you freeze instantly even with your bending powers the cold in space easily beats you. As you drift away as block of ice.

I take a seat on my hill !

[The Nonexistent Tazz]

I suddenly get shot back to your location in the block of ice-I control ice, including where it goes. You're knocked off, but I'm not done yet!

I now transform into a Wither, making the surrounding area explode, blowing you away futher. I continuously shoot explosive wither skulls at you, knocking you away from the area and laughing at your foolishness while I do so, throwing Splash Potions of Harming at you in addition-to harm you and heal myself.

Yhea, bit of a perk.

Anyways, once I have sufficiently killed off the surrounding thicket of trees due to my Withering effects and blew you away from the hill, I launch a black laser beam. The result sends you out of the universe, crashing into the Steven Universe (the universe), crashing into THE Steven Universe (the person), his three sisters (the Crystal Gems, who visited the Department of Redundancy Department), and got shot out of the Steven Universe (the universe), all the while leaving you with wounds that are kind of like if you were a dying flower ('Wither' is a very appropriate name for it).

I transform back and reclaim my hill.

MY HILL!!!

[Rival Max]

Ha Decoyed the whole time. With the brunt of your rage being on the decoy I wait under the hill. When you least expect it I sneak up behind you and hit you with a shirk ray. I then call my hawk to grab you and fly you off across the globe! Once it reaches the far end at super sonic speeds it drops you into the worlds largest volcano.

My hill!

[The Nonexistent Tazz]

TWO CAN PLAY AT THAT GAME!! DECOY!!!! Oh, yes, it was made of TNT (only looking like me due to some illusions), so it explodes in your hawk's face, who falls into the volcano. It didn't survive.

Meanwhile, my real self greets you in my life-sucking arms atop the hill, without warning. HosPITol nurses cart you off to HosPITol to recover from the severe withering you have just experienced from taking me on at close range, while I enjoy the hill in relative tranquility. If it wasn't you, I'd know because there wouldn't be anything to suck life out of, and you'd not be able to keep an illusion up if I were to touch it, so if it was someone else, I'd find out. So it's either you that got life-drained or you're moaning the loss of your hawk and some other poor dude met me up there. Either way, I reclaim the hill.

MY HILL!!!

[Ganyu]

I create a decoy, drop it on top of the hill, where it implodes and creates a black hole that sucks everyone in. Once the black hole dies, I land on top of the hill and plant a stick in it as a sign of my rule. Yes, a stick. Deal with it.

[Sonic20]

But suddenly, some sort of spiky ball descends from space! It was Mecha Sonic! Why does he want revenge for sonic and this hill so badly if he doesn't really care and he hates Sonic? I don't know. He proceeds to switch his left arm into a rocket launcher, and blowing your stick out of the hill. Then, he proceeds to teleport behind you and do some kind of awesome combo move that inflicts massive damage and sends you plummeting to the ground, and finishes you with a giant laser finger beam I'll call "Death Beam's Older Brother". Then, he lands on top of the hill, and begins to dig chaos emeralds out of the gr-
Oh, THAT'S why he's here.

[legendary_addict]

Pirou snatches the hill and uses Aria as a Poke-shield

Pirou: MY HILL!!

Aria: Whu-- PIROU! Why are you using your twin as a frikkin shield?!

Pirou: Because, I want this hill. Now, Protect me!

[The Nonexistent Tazz]

The chaos emeralds, in the hill the whole time? That MAY explain everything going on with it, the immortality and increase in power and all. MAY, as it hardly justifies why the hill is frikkin invincible, or what's up with the pure-souls thing. But I'm not really caring right now, I just feel in the mood for ridiculousness.

I proceed to fly in on a rocket grunt found lying around on the other end of the black hole I was sucked into. No, not the kind to go the space, the kind that you thwart the evil exploits of. How said Rocket Grunt flies I will never know, though I am 111% positive that the propulsion is NOT coming through his rear in the form of really bad gas.

Anyway, once I crash land on the top of the hill, I proceed to one-up the still-present Mecha Sonic at his own game-or at least, the game I perceive to be as the game of ridiculously OP combo-ing. I freeze him in place with the power of time...And proceed do...something, to him.

Nobody but me and him see what, but the end result has him panicking, fleeing while yelling about 'reality-axes' and 'big bang equals firecracker,' and Pirou and Aria quickly decide that whatever I had to do to him during that time must have been horrific. They flee.

For the record, this post actually said what the beat-down was EXACTLY...But, it was too big for this kind of thread. :P

MY HILL!!!

[Ganyu]

I thank you for completely taking out the scoundrels and I proceed to reward you with The Lonely Mountain. While you battle it out with the dragon there who refuses to scoot, I claim the hill as mine.