King of the Hill!

[The Nonexistent Tazz]

I shoot you in the face. Plain and simple. You flee. My hill.

MY HILL!!!

[Shiny Totodile]

I shoot strait back with storm-trooper accuracy. Knowing it won't work no matter how many times I try it won't hit, so I run up and tackle you of the hill and push you into the hole I made earlier.

My Hill.

[The Nonexistent Tazz]

Your stormtrooper accuracy allowed me to set up a massive laser cannon, which shot you before the critical tackle. You fail in your actions, so I get the hill.

MY HILL!!!

[Sir Sivelos]

A plane flies overhead, and I jump out! I land, and push you off the hill, causing you to roll comically down the hill. You are now dirty and covered in grass. :(

BUT MY HILL

[The Nonexistent Tazz]

I flip the hill upside down, crushing you underneath the hill and the earth. I then flip it right side-up, and shove you off. HosPITol Nurses treat your wounds while I reclaim the hill.

MY HILL!!!

[Rival Max]

With an easy tug the hill flips again crushing you! Once I flip it back over its clear.

This hill must have been empty just for me ;)

[The Nonexistent Tazz]

I teleport to the top of the hill. If you're there, then I kick you off. If you decided to be 'smart' and send a hologram, then you couldn't possibly have gotten the hill, as holograms clearly don't count-though I crush it's source, JUST in case. In either case, the hill is clear.

MY HILL!!!

[Shiny Totodile]

I summon a Magicarp, who jumps to a puddle near the hill. It continuously splashes you to the point where you get so annoyed, you run over to punt it out of the puddle when it evolves into an Gyrados and uses hyper beam on you. I put your fried body in a remote control car I enlarged, take the hill, and send you to the hosPITol.

MY HILL!!!!!!!!!!!

[The Nonexistent Tazz]

There is no such thing as a Magicarp, only a Magikarp. Your post is henceforth impossible, as only Magikarp evolve into Gyarados. I keep my hill while you ramble.

MY HILL!!!

[Shiny Totodile]

Oh.
My rambling distracts you to the point where you turn around when my remote control car hits you in the face and pushes you to the HosPITol for real this time!

MY HILL!!!