The Last Poster Wins! [v17]

[Noblejanobii]

I miss the days when the games came out around my birthday. They'd always be released like a week or two before my birthday so my parents would pre-order both and give me one for my birthday and then give me the other as a "getting through school" gift on the way home from school on my last day.

Also, did you guys hear about that guy from Cyndago. Daniel Kyre got taken off life support and Cyndago is shutting down. Markiplier says he'll continue but it'll be a while.

[Chakramaster]

It's still hard even today. It was interesting as a kid, but even these days have their moments. I always had to wait on games and cool stuff when I was younger for my birthday. Even then it being a week after Christmas it made it hard to tell everyone back then everything I wanted because...it's a week after Christmas lol. Now that I think about it, it was probably easy since they just picked up two gifts back then and saved time. It still feels odd though. I've never really gotten used to it lol. A "getting through school" was nice through graduation. I ended up getting about $600ish (total) even from people I've never directly met lol. My brother still hates me for it because most those people passed away before he graduated 2 years later.

Yeah it's got Mark, Ryan and Matt, Daniel's family heartbroken. An attempt at suicide is unbelievable. I guess it still stands true that even some of the happiest people in the world have demons that keep them depressed on the inside while they try not to show it. I couldn't believe the post Mark made last night about it. I can understand why Cyndago is shutting down after this. Mostly due to respects, but it wouldn't be the same either. The whole thing is very sad and I wish the best for his friends and family.

[Noblejanobii]

My birthday is usually right before easter (sometimes not) so it's hard for me sometimes too but not as much as the Christmas kids.

Yeah I understand too. My heart is crippled with empathy right now, especially since Daniel's family currently lives in the same state as me. I've had so many suicide cases in my area all the time that you'd think I'd be numb to it all but it always hits hard. I've vowed never to commit suicide and I put on a mask so that people can't see the demons that hide within me, but even then, those demons become very hard to manage at times. I've managed to keep some reign on mine but… not everyone can.

[Chakramaster]

Where they lived was only about an hour-ish from where I'm at. There's been no recent suicides that I've heard of, but it's not uncommon. It's tough for those that suffer through it as we've seen throughout the year with even people like Robin Williams was fighting it for years. I know I could never get so low that it drives me to that point. We all have our points where we feel like it's helpless, but I have friends or family that I know trust me and could help me through anything. Not everyone may feel the same though or be as lucky as others. I still wish Daniel's family and friends the best in their tough times.

[Noblejanobii]

I'll be completely honest, had it not been for a combination of three things in my life that convinced me to never commit suicide, I'd probably have killed myself a long time ago. When I was a kid I was taught that murder is wrong and that it is against the Ten Commandments. As a child, I never wanted to break the commandments and that's kind of stuck with me since, so when my pastor told me back in middle school this quote, it definitely helped. "People always say that people who commit suicide are victims, without a fault. But, here's the thing, they aren't, and I'm not saying that we should condemn those people, because we shouldn't, but look at it this way, we are told murder is wrong, so why is murder of yourself okay?" I had never heard suicide described as murder of the self before and it makes a lot of sense to be translated that way. Thus, since my brain says murder is bad, it condemns suicide as well. The second thing was the flurry of it around me. I saw how upset it made people to see someone gone, and my brain has always been wired to please others before myself, so I convinced myself that I can't commit suicide because that won't be pleasing to those around me, and I would have failed at making them happy. The last thing was my online friends. About the time I was really hit hard with depression, I joined the Internet and made some of the closest friends I'll ever have. We may have never met IRL, but these guys, including AWA, have seen and know more about me than most of my IRL friends do. I gotta give a shout out to AWA here because this guy has put up with me for around… man has it really been four years? I guess it has. He's seen me at my best and at my worst and, unlike many people that know me IRL, he stuck by my side. It's people like him and my other online friends that showed me that there are people that accept you for who you are in the world and that I don't have to leave this world to find acceptance.

[AWA1997]

Let's see here, I was the last one on fusemon, and new worlds started in 2013... I think that since I came in right before fusemon died, it's probably been at least a year less with us compared to you with people like Flare and Caff. But thanks for the shoutout. As for the acceptance, I should know to judge people only after you get to know them. When they medicated me for ADHD, which I didn't have in the first place, and Bipolar, they completely screwed up my brain, to the point where there are times where I act way more mature than I am, while at others I'm nowhere near as mature, and to this day I'm still being judged at first sight because of it, and, to give you some scale, that was back in first grade and I'm in my first year of college now. I started to realign a few years ago, but I'm still nowhere near where I should be.

[Noblejanobii]

So three years then I think because fusemon went down my freshman year of high school. It'll be four years either later this year or some time next year. And don't get me wrong, Caff is a great friend and she's been there for me a lot, but the age difference between us has created some what of a gap between us. And Flare… we used to be close but we really don't talk much anymore. I'm closer to CP than I am Flare to be quite honest. Even if you don't judge people I know I've probably made you want to rip your hair out more than once. Especially in past years when my mood swings were way worse than they are now due to the medication I had to take (iron deprivation). *grabs AWA* Don't realign completely! I needs my best friend!

[AWA1997]

Oh, sorry to hear about that with Flare and Caff. Rip my hair out, now, question what I did wrong to make you bite my head off or to make you transform into a puddle of tears, yes. *puts hands on Jan's wrists* Now who said the realignment would change me enough we wouldn't be best friends. Keep in mind, you've been my best friend since I met you, and the only realigning there is is between my maturity and immaturity, and you don't get to see my immaturity that often.

[Noblejanobii]

It's okay. It's nothing more than the fact that they aren't as active as they used to be and I am as active if not more so and its just kinda separated us because while they have lives off the computer that conflict with their lives online, I'm the opposite, I have a life online that conflicts with my real life. You are by far the second most active person on New Worlds so I can stay close to you because for the most part you're online a lot. Haha, yeah because it's usually either me exploding into a slur of curse words or just a complete depressed monster for several hours at a time. I can remember the days when Blaze used to try to delete my shoutbox posts as quick as I was posting them. XD Just don't change too much for who I've grown to know, too drastic of a change might cause us to drift apart. Plus, let's be real, I'm immature like 24/7 so you're going to have to be the mature one on the site because the only moderator on New Worlds has the mind of a 10 year old most of the time.

[AWA1997]

Yeah, the only time I'm not online is when I'm forced to do something where there's no wifi, or when I sleep. Yeah, and sometimes it's not even mood swings, it's just that I accidentally say something and you take it the wrong way (for instance, the episode about Hunger Games a few months ago). I honestly think I have the innate ability to say something online and someone take it as offensive when I didn't mean it to be offensive (it's happened quite a bit with you, and on PFQ just yesterday or the day before, I asked help with the about me template I'm using, got bored at 3am, took care of it myself by fiddling with it, said that I didn't need help anymore, and the person I asked help from exploded because they thought I did it because they took too long). And don't worry, I've always been more mature mentally than physically, even before the medication. If anything, the medication made me more immature.