[SU/DS] Hoenn Enigma - Seeds of Secrets

[Chakramaster]

I've been using a randomizer to determine what Pokemon Sonya gets turned into. 1-720 is what I've been going with and the results have been pretty comical. When I saw Galvantula come out of it, I started snickering. That's been the funniest one so far. :P

I was actually wondering if you were actually deciding or just randomly throwing them out there. Luckily none of those *specific* numbers were rolled xD

trying to finish this next post before I get too tired to post as well

[Chakramaster]

I feel as if I might take a bit more time with my next post. Not sure where to take next just yet. Any thoughts for discussion?

Also being my first RP, technically, any critiques? What I'm may not be doing right, how to make it sound better, or is it alright? I know you may think it's good, but I just want personal opinion, as I, personally feel it could use improvements still.

[Neo Emolga]

I feel as if I might take a bit more time with my next post. Not sure where to take next just yet. Any thoughts for discussion?

Also being my first RP, technically, any critiques? What I'm may not be doing right, how to make it sound better, or is it alright? I know you may think it's good, but I just want personal opinion, as I, personally feel it could use improvements still.

The only thing that stands out to me (and it's not all that big of a deal) is that you switch from third person to first person and then back again several times. It makes it a bit tricky to follow who is the "I" when it switches to first person, but everything else from description, character speech, and organization is FANTASTIC. You definitely have great RPing skills and talents. When it comes to perspective, I'd say consistency might help. For example, I've been RPing in first person from Jonathan's point of view the entire RP. You could go with either first or third person, but switching back and forward does make it a bit confusing. That would be my only complaint, and it's only a minor one at that.

[Chakramaster]

The only thing that stands out to me (and it's not all that big of a deal) is that you switch from third person to first person and then back again several times. It makes it a bit tricky to follow who is the "I" when it switches to first person, but everything else from description, character speech, and organization is FANTASTIC. You definitely have great RPing skills and talents. When it comes to perspective, I'd say consistency might help. For example, I've been RPing in first person from Jonathan's point of view the entire RP. You could go with either first or third person, but switching back and forward does make it a bit confusing. That would be my only complaint, and it's only a minor one at that.

lol I wouldn't really expect complaints anyway since we all have different writing styles xD. Thanks for the critique though, yeah I just thought I'd get some feedback to see if every is able to follow it as easy. It's just taking some time to work around and see what works best. I may try the next few in first person and after that try third person to see which works best for me.....just as soon as I firgure out where to take it next hahaha.

If I ever do switch the first person perspective from being Brian though I'll note it in the text who the perspective is for by either parenthesis, (), or an, *, asterisk marks. Thanks again though. Certainly going to be working with it to figure out how to make it sound as clear as possibly. Guess being alone at the moment gives me time to work with it before having the character meet up with anyone else.

[Chakramaster]

I think I'm going to try getting a post in later tonight. Just looked back over what all happened and found a good spot to take it. Also depends on if Eri changes his too much between now and then. Both our character seem to be in similar places. So I could possibly make one to join in with him for a short while at least.

I'll probably try to change up the writing style to see how it turns out this time. Maybe get some feedback on it later? Every little bit of feedback will help me improve =)

[Neo Emolga]

I think I'm going to try getting a post in later tonight. Just looked back over what all happened and found a good spot to take it. Also depends on if Eri changes his too much between now and then. Both our character seem to be in similar places. So I could possibly make one to join in with him for a short while at least.

I'll probably try to change up the writing style to see how it turns out this time. Maybe get some feedback on it later? Every little bit of feedback will help me improve =)

Sure, if you want me to read a certain post in particular and critique it, I could do that, but really, you're doing a great job and I don't really have all that much to point out. No worries, dude, you're an awesome RPer. :D

[Chakramaster]

Well I found a way to push and give me time to think by joining Eri's character (since they were originally in a similar area). While writing it though I thought if the next place to throw him (yeah my character won't be able to figure out those secrets with the doors like Neo's character for a good while at least. I feel like I got a better handling on the writing in that last post. Made me feel more comfortable with it at least.

[Noblejanobii]

So, my three close IRL friends demanded to have cameos in at least one post here, so I featured the three of them as their pokesonas in my most recent post. They may or may not appear again, who knows. Here's what they look like in order of appearance:

Shiloh-
Patty-
Shayyena-

[Neo Emolga]

Well I found a way to push and give me time to think by joining Eri's character (since they were originally in a similar area). While writing it though I thought if the next place to throw him (yeah my character won't be able to figure out those secrets with the doors like Neo's character for a good while at least. I feel like I got a better handling on the writing in that last post. Made me feel more comfortable with it at least.

You could always come across one of the rooms that Jonathan's been to and has been writing stuff for. So far, the Food Court and the Greenhouse have gotten mapped, so either one of those is fine. The only catch with the Greenhouse is that it's guaranteed to turn your character (and anyone else that's traveling with you) into a grass-type.

So, my three close IRL friends demanded to have cameos in at least one post here, so I featured the three of them as their pokesonas in my most recent post. They may or may not appear again, who knows. Here's what they look like in order of appearance:

Shiloh-
Patty-
Shayyena-

Patty and Shayyena are alright, but Shiloh... whoa, that's a whole lot of appendages going on there! XD

They're always welcome to join in on the RP also. The more the merrier.

[Chakramaster]

You could always come across one of the rooms that Jonathan's been to and has been writing stuff for. So far, the Food Court and the Greenhouse have gotten mapped, so either one of those is fine. The only catch with the Greenhouse is that it's guaranteed to turn your character (and anyone else that's traveling with you) into a grass-type.

I was planning on the food court sometime after Brian or Eevee's first transformation. I'm still deciding if I want to transform Brian first or his Eevee. I kinda wanna push Brian's and I'm trying not to force a Pika transformation so quick is all

About the green house though. It wouldn't effect someone whose transformation is already permanent though right? Just some odd effect like a mushroom or something growing out of their body or something?

Patty and Shayyena are alright, but Shiloh... whoa, that's a whole lot of appendages going on there! XD

They're always welcome to join in on the RP also. The more the merrier.

Those look awesome either way! Yeah I got Eri to join ( a friend from my old site ) and even though he's been pretty busy lately he's got a few posts in. More we have the crazier things may get. I've even thought of something like how to try to escape IF it happens.

I wonder what would happen if someone became a Palkia and tried using Spacial powers to travel through dimensions while in the Trick House. Would it get them out or will it make things way worse?